You and You Only
by fullmetalgrl88
Summary: Abby Lovington has left her small town Resembol, and joined the military as a young State Alchemist. Her specialty is Lightning Alchemy and is known as The Spark Alchemist. She resides on Roy Mustang's team, and found herself a new home. Upon joining the team, she met a handsome blonde man who stole her heart the very second she saw him. His name, Jean Havoc. Rated M for future!
1. Chapter 1: Pilot

Hey everyone! My first story on here! :D So this story will be following FMAB but there might be some pieces of just FMA, maybe. Just a quick back story! When you were in your late teens you dropped out of school and pursued in the science of alchemy. You studied and practiced your butt off with it. You even seeked out your own teacher, who taught you a niffy alchemy! It was a battle to get your mom on the same train as you, but eventually she gave in, knowing you were going to do what you wanted to do. On your 18th birthday you went to join the military. You wanted to explore the world, or at least get out of Resembol, and the military was your best shot at it. Your special alchemy is very similar to the Flame Alchemist's style, only you do one less step. You can shoot lightening! It's a bit more dangerous than Roy's, only because it's a bit harder to control. Which only made it more impressive that you mastered it. After you were accepted into the military, Colonel Mustang had already felt a sense of responsibility for you, and within time, he even became a father figure to you. You now reside with him, and are also on his team. It's been a couple of years since you joined and everyone on the team kinda became a family to you. Anyways the story will be starting around when the Elrics are back from Reole. (I believe that's episode 4?...I'll Google it later!)

 **I**

~ It was mid-afternoon on a gorgeous Friday, and everyone is stuck indoors trying to get the Colonel caught up with his paperwork. Breda was slowly loosing concentration, while Hawkeye, Falman, Havoc and myself were still keeping our noses down and our hands scribbling. Fuery was staying busy trying to figure out what was wrong with the radio.

"Lieutenant Breda." Hawkeye handed the pudgy red head a piece of paperwork, without loosing a beat in her writing.

"Right." He grabbed it without hesitation and looked over it. I found it funny that Hawkeye knew Breda was starting to zone out without even needing to glance up from her paperwork. "Jeez, the Colonel's sure letting his paperwork pile up again, huh?" Breda said, not at all enthused and sat back down on his chair. He stared at Havoc with a little annoyance. "Havoc, give me a hand will ya?" I'll admit, it annoyed me some when he asked for help. It's not like anyone is short on work. We could all use some help! I was tempted to say something, when Havoc spoke up.

"I've got plenty to do over here already." That was always something I liked about Havoc, he could always speak for himself and never took crap from anyone! "Next up..." Havoc had a rather confused expression as he took a new piece of paper. "Who's this?"

"Lieutenant Yoki, remember?" This was the first time Falman spoke since we all sat down. "The crook who was using Youswell coal mine concessions to line his own pockets." Havoc brought the paper closer to his face for a better look. "Anyway, the Elric brothers exposed what he was up to and now he's on the run." I couldn't help but smile every time I heard that the boys are out doing good. Granted it's not intentional. Majority of the time they're just in the right place at the right time, but they were out there making a difference. I kinda looked up to them for it. I even admit, I had a small crush on Edward. Just a small one though, since he was a few years younger than me. I felt Hawkeye's eyes on me. I glance over to confirm my intuition was right. She raised an eyebrow, as if asking what I was just thinking of? I smiled sheepishly and went back to my paperwork.

"Master Sergeant Fuery, how's the radio?" I felt relief take over me when she asked poor little Fuery, taking the attention away from me. I glanced over at him as he continued to fiddle with the old looking contraption.

"The receiver on this thing seen better days, I think I'm gonna have to replace it." He seemed so disappointed about that fact. There was a random clap, and I saw a bright blue light shine in the corner of my eye. It took us all by surprise. When the light settled down, the metal box looked brand new! That's when we all looked to see who had graced us with their presence.

"Hey it's Edward and Alphonse!" Fuery sounded happy to see them.

"Welcome back boys." Hawkeye still sounded like herself, but at least she put down her pen and looked up to greet them. Before I could even greet them, Hawkeye continued, "Go on in, the Colonel's expecting you." Edward didn't seem too pleased to be handed off so quickly to the Colonel.

I watched as the two boys walked into a separate room and closed the door. I went back to the paperwork, that seemed to have grown within minutes. I suddenly lost all motivation and was siding with Breda and his outlook on things. I shouldn't have stopped, even if it was just for a moment. I leaned back in my hard wood rolly chair and took a big long stretch, making some embarrassing noises while doing so. Havoc glanced up and gave me a quick smirk before going back to his pile. I just sat there and continued to stare, absently to what I thought was a void in space. I was brought back with Havoc waving his pen in my face.

"Hello? Earth to Lovington?" I blinked a couple times, making myself focus back on reality.

"What?" I looked around quickly before looking up at Havoc.

"I was hoping you could come with me for a coffee break. Looks like you could use one." Havoc smiled innocently at me. Perfect timing as always. I gave him a quick smile and said, "Yes! Let's go!" I shot up from the table and without hesitation, left the room. I could hear Havoc mumbled something to the group before racing to catch up to me.

* * *

I was pouring all the coffee into individual cups, while Havoc was over at the front desk hitting on the cute little thing behind the desk. It only made it clear why he was down for a sudden "coffee break". More like "flirting break". I glanced behind my shoulder at the two of them hitting it off. She sure was cute. Not like me, of course. Granted I wasn't hard on the eyes, some would even say I was beautiful...Okay, so most people would say that. My long dark brown hair was normally up in a ponytail, and my figure was practically to die for. My favorite feature about myself were my eyes. Bright sapphire blue. They were what made me stand out with my light tan and hair. It wasn't the normal combination in this area. Unfortunately, like most women, I just didn't see the beauty all the time. Something I'm always working on though!

I was getting lost in my thoughts again, not noticing that I had barely over filled one of the cups.

"God Bless the Nation." I mumbled under my breath, while quickly grabbing some napkins to clean up the small mess.

"Man, you're really out of it today, aren't cha?" My heart skipped a beat hearing his voice suddenly behind me. I glanced behind me with a defeated look to Havoc. Normally I could smell him a mile away, I really must be out of it. Even though I hate the smell and the habit all together, it kinda suited him. The smell never seemed all that bad when it was coming from him. I finished wiping up the mess and poured the extra contents from the over filled cup to an empty one. I decided I would have the one that had so little in it. Coffee never settled with me, which I always hated because it tasted so yummy! Havoc grabbed two coffees in one hand, and one in the other, while I just carried one in each. Fuery didn't drink coffee either. He had the same problem as me, only a bit worse.

"So why are you being space cadet today?"

"I guess I'm starting to go brain dead from all the paperwork." I defiantly felt a headache coming on.

"We're almost done though. The guys and I are going out later to unwind, you're invited if you wanna join?" Oh yah, so I can once again be the babysitter. It always ends the same. Fuery and Falman are always the first ones to get drunk. Next, would be Breda and shortly after Havoc. Then it would be little Abby dragging them out one by one, into the car, and then dragging them into each and everyone of their apartments.

"I think I'll pass." That probably came out a bit more annoyed than it should have.

"So you really don't have fun with us?" I could hear the conceited smirk on his face. Since the first time I went out with them, he's been pestering me to admit that I never have. Of course I wouldn't say so. I'd just continue to punish myself and go with them, because it's always a "good time". A part of me wanted to stop in my tracks and trip him with the hot coffee, but everyone knew I was too nice to do such a deed.

"You didn't ask little Miss Cutie behind the desk?" A little playfulness crept into my voice. Havoc glanced back behind for a moment, as if debating to go back and do so.

"Nah." He said as he looked back in front of him. "Why invite her when I have you?" He gave me a cute wink that he knew always made my blood boil. And boil it did. My face was feeling feverish now.

"You're such an ass." I mumbled under my breath, picking up my pace.

* * *

When we entered the room, my eyes immediately went to Mustang's door, that was now left wide open. I went over to peer inside to see no one was home.

"All three went to Shou Tucker, The Sewing-Life Alchemist's resident. They were needing some research from him." Hawkeye said with her nose still down in her paperwork. "Havoc." She caught him off guard with her authority tone as he was setting all the cups down on the table. He quickly placed them, and stood straight back up.

"Yes sir?"

"Colonel Mustang called and is on his way back already. He is needing you to pick the Elric brothers up at 1900 hours." If I had the ability, my ears would have twitched.

"Yes sir." Havoc did a quick salute before sitting back down in the chair.

"Say Havoc?" He looked up at me.

"What do you want, Lovington?" He seemed a bit agitated. I would need to get to the point quickly.

"Could I come with you? To pick up the boys?" I was practically glowing with the thought of seeing little Nina. Havoc's expression didn't change.

"Sure, but only if you come out with us tonight." The conceited smirk crept on his face.

"Really? You're coming out with us again, Abby?" Fuery was so excited. I couldn't possibly say no now, and Havoc knew it. I could have punch him right in the jaw, or even better. I could have sparked his ass, but of course, I had to be the mature one.

"Fine." I agreed with a tone of defeat.

"Alright, now we can drink all night long." Breda finally got a little excitement going.

"No! I am not staying all night! I refuse!" I said as I crossed my arms together to make a big X.

"Why are you trying to start an argument? You know it's going to happen." Havoc still had that stupid smirk on his face, but he was right. There was no point in trying to change the inevitable.

* * *

It seemed like he was driving slower than the speed limit...on purpose. I couldn't help but squirm around in my seat nervously as I watched each house roll by.

"You know, my dead grandma could drive faster than this. Come on, Havoc. At least go the speed limit." His eyes went down to his speedometer as I insulted his driving.

"You know I'm going about 3 over, right?" He looked over with concern, as I dramatically leaned my head on the cool window. My headache was only getting worse, and now the coffee I had wasn't settling. "Everything alright there, Sparky?" I never knew if I liked his nickname for me or not. Part of me felt like it was an honor to have a nickname at all, since I never really ever had one. On the other hand, I always picture a more round bust man with the nickname Sparky. I guess you could say it was a win/lose situation.

"Yah everything's fine." I said with little confidence. The sun was setting making everything have that nice orange tint of a long, good day. Maybe I should stay in tonight? My head is only getting worse, and I have a long day tomorrow. All I wanted to do was go see cute little Nina, and then go crawl under my bed covers for the rest of the night. It's been forever since I saw the adorable little girl. I would often go and play with her, especially when Tucker needed to run out for errands. She always made my day better, like my own little ray of sunshine. Havoc slowed the car down, and placed it in park when it came to a complete stop. I was regretting coming along but I knew if I didn't, I might not get the chance for along time. I slowly stepped out of the vehicle and made my way to the front gate with Havoc.

"You sure you're doing okay?" He asked debating to get me back in the car.

"Yah, just getting a headache is all." More like a migraine! We passed the gate and made our way to the front door. Havoc knocked a couple times and waited for the response.

"Do you have pain killers?"

"No, I don't really ever get headaches." Today was a stressful day, and normally I only get headaches when under stress.

"I have some back at my place, if you want to grab some?" I looked up at him with a cocky smirk.

"Inviting me to your place? You got more balls than I thought Havoc." He blushed ever so slightly. I knew then that his intentions were pure.

"Whatever works these days." He went for the doorbell this time. It was always fun jabbing at Havoc, and I knew he felt the same way. Everyone else took things a little too seriously, especially Falman. The door opened very slowly at first, but then was opened enough to see Shou Tucker on the other side.

"Oh 2nd Lieutenant Havoc and 2nd Lieutenant Lovington, are you here to pick up the boys?" Shou Tucker was always a quiet man. He always gave me this chill down my spine, and I felt like I couldn't trust him.

"Yes, we are. Are they ready?" Just then we heard a loud smashing sound come from the other side of the house.

"What was...that?" I looked over Tucker's shoulder with concern.

"Oh I believe that would be Edward playing with Alexander." I found it a bit hard to imagine Ed playing with such an enormous dog, considering the beast was at least twice the size of him.

"Now this I got to see." I said with a small smirk as we stepped into the house. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 1!**

Let me know what you think!

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2: Night Out

**II**

~Havoc dropped me off back at my place after picking up the Elric brothers. I was able to see little Nina for a short moment, and I already felt a bit better. Havoc told me to take some pain medicine, and reminded me that I made a commitment to come out tonight with the boys.

"Colonel?" I shouted to the quiet house, there was no response. He must still be in the office, which means Hawkeye is still there. I walked upstairs and into my room. I walked over to my dresser with a big depressing sigh. Just once I wish Hawkeye would come a long too, that way I'm not the only girl. I'm always getting looks, and typically they're a nasty glare from all the other women in the bar. Guess there's always next time. I picked out my outfit for the evening and dragged my feet to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and made a loud disappointing groan as I saw my reflection. I looked like death...maybe worse. I turned on the faucet and waited for the water to get warm before washing my face, trying so hard to get rid of the horribleness. I was going to have to start from scratch, which all in all, I didn't mind. I loved playing with make-up. I never really wore it because of the job, but when I went out, I dolled myself up! Of course I didn't go crazy and apply pounds of make up, but just enough to make a small difference in my appearance.

When I finished with my face, I moved to the wardrobe. I had my top picked out already, but I was trying to decided what bottoms to wear. Should I keep it classy and modest with pants, or go for a little more risk with my cute shorts? Even with the sun down, the temperature outside is still warm, and being in the bar with others would only make it worse. The real question was, how much glares did I want to get tonight? I stood there debating as if the choice was going to change my life forever. I finally gave in and grabbed the shorts. I'm use to the glares already, and it's not like I won't get them if I'm roasting in pants. The shorts I picked where a dark red color and they really made my butt look good. Not that I'm trying to impress anyone. I started blushing, knowing I was only lying to myself. I slipped on my black top and checked the complete outfit before heading back downstairs to the kitchen.

I dug through the cabinets and drawers for a bottle of Advil. My headache had gotten better, but who knows how long that would last. I let out another sigh, and shut the last drawer in defeat. I had hoped maybe Mustang would've had something lying around. Note to self, before I come home, buy pain pills! I checked the clock for the time. It was still pretty early. I might actually have time to run to the convenience store and buy me a small bottle. I wasn't going to debate this decision. I headed to the front door while putting on my shoes, grabbed my set of keys and walked out the door.

* * *

I was not regretting my choice in apparel. If I had worn the pants, I would have passed out on the sidewalk before even reaching the store. I had bought the small bottle of pain killers and a water to take them with. I never understood how some people could take pills without any liquid help. Every time I tried I felt like I was choking. I was outside now, slowly making my way to the bar we all normally go to.

As I was walking past a small group, I overheard a part of the conversation. It had to do with the most recent killing of State Alchemist Bask Grand, the Iron Blood Alchemist. The killings were becoming more frequent. It sent shivers down my spine thinking about the description all victims have. I'd need to be on my toes. I found myself thanking God, or who ever, that Mustang has Hawkeye to look out for him. Maybe I should get a bodyguard? Just as a precaution of course. I took a sip of my water and stopped in my tracks. In the corner of my eye I saw it. The most beautiful dress I had ever seen! It was in a cute little boutique that was actually right next to the bar that I normally go to with the guys. I always stop to look because they usually have nice pretty things displayed, but this is the first time where I was tempted to go in and buy something. It was a gorgeous ballgown. Strapless, with a poofy princess bottom, a nice pastel pink with diamond jewels everywhere! I looked down to the ground with a sigh and started to walk away. Of course I could afford it, but where would I wear it? The curses of working for the military.

I opened the door to the bar and instantly heard Fuery singing karaoke, and Breda shouting playful insults to him. Also, the curse of having no friends other than these idiots. I smirked at my snide thought and instantly took it back. I loved my team. They were like family, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world. I found myself a seat at the bar next to Falman and ordered a water.

"Hey, we were wondering when you'd show. I had to fight several people to keep this seat open." Falman said with a nice gentle smile and red checks. Excellent. Both Fuery and him were already toasty. Which means Breda isn't too far away from catching up. Looks like it will be a short night, I was keeping my fingers crossed.

"Hey, Abby's here now!" Fuery said right in the microphone and started waving my way. I smiled and waved back. He was definitely my favorite. He was so small, and innocently cute! That's when I noticed that Falman was sitting all alone.

"Hey where are the other two?" Falman looked back at me with a slight confused look.

"I'm not too sure where Breda ran off to, he was just here a moment ago?" He started to scan the bar for his missing comrade.

"What about Havoc?" I started scanning as well.

"Oh he's over there." Falman pointed across the bar. There he was, talking to a booth of women. Yep, I should have stayed home. "Oh I found Breda, he's over at the arm wrestling corner."

"Should've known." I was saying for both Breda and Havoc. Fuery was all done with his song and came back to the bar with Falman and I.

"We thought you weren't going to come after all." Fuery said with concern in his eyes.

"Why? I'm here on time. When did you all get here?" I asked patting his head for comfort.

"About an hour ago." Falman stated while looking at the clock to confirm.

"What? Why did you all get here so early?" We normally meet up at 9, just in time for karaoke for Fuery and I.

"You mean Havoc didn't tell you?" Fuery glared across the bar, right at Havoc. I couldn't help but giggle at his expression. Fuery's name might be intimidating, but his personality was nothing of the sort.

"It's alright, I'm here now aren't I?"

"Yah, but you could've been here sooner! Plus, I'm about ready to go home...My stomach isn't feeling too well." Fuery did look a bit pale.

"Excuse me?" I turned around to get the bartender's attention.

"Need something Abby?"

"Yah, could you get me a Ginger Ale please? Fuery isn't feeling too good." I gave Earl, the bartender, the sweetest smile. I liked Earl and by like, I mean I like to flirt with him. He's a good guy and always takes care of his loyal customers. He especially gives me lots of attention when all the guys go off to do their own thing. Sooner or later, it always happens.

"Sure thing." He walked away with a quick wink.

"I can walk you home, if you want Fuery?" Falman asked while trying to keep his little friend up. That might be the best thing, instead of the Ginger Ale. Stop by the Bakery and buy some bread for him.

"Here you go." Earl set the glass of ginger ale in front of me.

"Thanks, and here you go." I handed him some money. "Don't bother with the change." I gave him another sweet smile.

"Always the generous one." He returned the smile and walked away again. I heard the girls and Havoc laughing rather loudly across the bar. One of them put her hands on his arm and whispered something to his ear. I looked away, feeling...agitated. He practically begs me to come hang out but then flirts with girls all night? Part of me wanted to go throw my drink at him, but then I would have to explain why I did such an action. Falman was never the best of company. Even when he drinks, he keeps to himself for the most part. Breda always goes off to arm wrestle all the "macho" men. And then there was Fuery.

"But I wanna stay!" He was now throwing a fit.

"Fine but don't complain tomorrow when you can't even get out of bed." Falman gave up and went back to his drink that was unattended to for a while.

"Fuery, come here and sit." I patted the stool next to me. He did so with a small smile. "Here you go, hopefully this will settle on your stomach." I slid the ginger ale in front of him.

"What is it?" He looked at it like it was a science project gone wrong.

"It's stomach medicine. It'll make your stomach feel better." He still didn't want anything to do with it. "Would you prefer water?" He only glared at his glass even more.

"I want another beer." He was pouting now. I couldn't help but giggle. He was so childish when he drank.

"Looks like you have your hands full tonight." I looked up to Earl. He was such a handsome man. I swear he's part Ishvalan, but he denies it every time. His hair and skin scream out Ishvalan but his eyes, they are a bright sexy grey that pierce your heart with one look and his muscular tone wasn't all that bad either. He defiantly worked out.

"I guess." I looked down to my water. I was too distracted to see Fuery slip off his stool.

"How was your day?" Earl asked as he was cleaning up the small puddle my glass of water was making.

"It was long, we all had to catch up on the paper work" I knew he wasn't interested in my answer, because I also knew what the next question was going to be.

"So how many more times do I need to ask you out before you say yes." Of course I was blushing. I did every time. I looked up at him with an embarrassed smile on my face. He was always so bold with it, and it kinda turned me on.

"As many times as it takes, I guess." If the circumstances were different, I would've said yes in a heart beat. But I had my eyes on a different pair. Not the bold grey, but the gentle blue kind.

"Hey Earl, I need another Lemon Drop for my new friend." Both my heart and I jumped at the sound of his voice suddenly behind me. Of course I couldn't tell, but my face went a shade redder . Earl saw it and only smiled now understanding.

"On your tab?" He asked Havoc.

"No, I'll just pay for it up front." Earl walked away to prepare the drink. "So when did you get here?" Havoc asked sitting next to me while he waited for the drink.

"Oh, about 15 minutes or so ago." Nice to know he didn't even notice me coming in. Of course he wouldn't of, he was happily occupied with his, as he worded, new friend.

"Looks like you're having the time of your life." That came out a little more snippy than I intended. Havoc didn't say anything. I then realized that Fuery wasn't where I left him, next to me, where Havoc was now sitting. I quickly scanned the area, with habit of looking at the karaoke area first. I felt relief come over when I saw him over there picking out a new song. Earl came back with the Lemon Drop.

"So Abby, how many times did you say it would take for you to say yes to me?" He asked as he set the drink in front of Havoc. The blush came back across my face.

"Seriously, just say yes already. I'm getting sick of hearing him ask every time." Falman said before taking another drink of his beer. Havoc hesitated with pulling money out of his wallet. I just sat there, frozen, not knowing what to say. My face was getting redder and redder. I swallowed hard and was about to give my answer when Havoc set the money down hard on the bar.

"Hey Earl, could you do me favor?" He had an irritated look on his face. Earl raised an eyebrow. "Could you take that drink to my new friend, and apologize that I won't be returning for the evening." I looked up at him with some confusion. This is the second time he blew off a pretty girl. That was unheard of.

"Oh? Are you leaving?" Earl asked, more than likely thinking the same thing as me.

"No, I'm just here with friends. Don't want to be rude and ignore them, you know?" Havoc smiled aggressively. That made no sense. Why did he all of a sudden think he was being rude? He seemed quite content over there with his harem, and he normally didn't grace us with his presence unless the night was slow. Was he...jealous? My heart skipped a few beats with the sudden hope in my chest.

"Sure thing." Earl took the drink back and walked around the bar towards the group of females.

"So did you get the pain medicine?" He was acting very weird, it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Yah, I went to the convenience store and got some. Oh yah, I heard someone talking about Brigadier General Grand. You heard about him, right?" I asked Havoc.

"Yah, wasn't he killed by that serial killer who's targeting State Alchemist?" I nodded my head to his question.

"It's pretty scary. Someone like him could get caught and killed. Makes me question my ability. Are my talents strong, or fast enough to stay alive if I were to run into him?" I started to really think about it, and it only terrified me more. I shook my head gently, forcing myself to stop think about such things. "Of course I am! I mean, what could possibly be faster than lightning, right?" I asked half laughing.

"Hey Abby?" Fuery caught all our attention. He was yelling in the microphone. "Do you wanna sing before the karaoke closes?" He was starting to sway back and forth. It was defiantly time to get him home. I stood up and walked over to him.

"No, we need to get you home. Maybe buy you some bread for you?" I reached for his arm and swung it over my shoulder.

"But I want to sing one more." He protested.

"We'll come back next week." I said gently.

"But...what if you can't come next time." I couldn't help but smile. Fuery was just like an adorable little brother to me.

"I promise I'll come. Now lets get you home. Breda!" I looked over to the corner and got his attention. "We're leaving, lets go." I started to head for the door, hearing Breda trash talk everyone who was at the table. Fuery was really swaying, making it rather difficult for me to carry him. I had a feeling I was going to topple over, when Breda took Fuery out from under me.

"We don't need another incident." He was referring to the time when I was helping Fuery home, and he ended up knocking not only him, but also me to the ground. I scratched my knee pretty good, and had a slight sprain ankle.

"Oh whatever." I started to protest but knew he had a point.

"Come on buddy, lets get you to bed." Breda started dragging Fuery away.

We all stepped outside, and I instantly noticed that the car wasn't in the usual place. I looked around to see if maybe Havoc parked it somewhere else, but it wasn't in sight.

"Wait, did no one drive?" I looked back to the boys. They shook their heads.

"It was too nice of night, we couldn't pass it up." I groaned in discomfort. It was going to take us twice as long to get Fuery back to the dormitories.

"Taxi!" Breda quickly lifted his hand up, waving down the taxi that was just passing down the road. Talk about perfect timing! Breda was trying his hardest to gently stuff Fuery into the back.

"Falman, you coming?" Breda yelled over to us as he was getting in the back with Fuery.

"Yah, coming! See you guys later." I forgot, Falman lives in the dorms too. I guess I wasn't needed tonight. But wait...that means...I looked up at Havoc, who watched the taxi drive off behind us. He noticed I was starring at him and looked down at me. With another blush coming to my face, I looked away quickly.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday?" I said as I started to walk back towards home.

"Hold on princess, where are you going?" What the- Princess? Since when was I a princess?

"I'm going home?" I looked back in confusion, he was walking up towards me with his hands in his pockets.

"Weren't you just talking about a State Alchemist killer on the loose?" Damn him! He just had to put that in my head. I'll be jumping to every little sound now, unless...

"Well...could you walk me home then?" I couldn't look him in the eye. It was humiliating.

"What do you think I'm doing?" He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. My eyes widened looking at the lighter. That was the one his ex-girlfriend gave him. We both started walking to Mustang's, side by side. Why does he still have it? Does he not have enough money to go buy a new one, or maybe he's keeping it because he still has feelings- No! No, no, no! I am not going to get into this! It's none of my business. If he wants to use the stupid lighter that, that horrible woman gave him, then so be it! My steps started to become more like stomps.

"So what's eating at you, princess?" He blew out his first puff.

"Don't call me that." I mumbled under my breath.

"What's that?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I decided not to get into it. If he knew that being called princess bugged me, he would never stop. I glanced a look at him with my eyes. He was enjoying his cigarette, and looking around the town. I will admit, I did feel much safer with Havoc at my side. I would have been glancing behind me every time I took a step. I really need to start carrying around my alchemy gloves when I'm off duty. I don't even know if Havoc has a weapon on him or not. For my sanity's sake, I'll imagine he does.

"So Earl's question..." Havoc brought me back from my thoughts. "What would have been your answer?" He looked me right in the eye.

"What?" I was taken back by his question. "Why...do you want to know?" Where was he going with this?

"I'm just curious. Is he your type?" My type? I actually had to think about that. With what I knew about Earl, yes, he was exactly my type. I would even be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about him.

"Yah, I guess?" Before I could get another word out, Havoc started to walk again. Now his steps seemed more like quiet stomps. "Hold up, Havoc. Are you jealous?" I joked with him but he didn't seem to be in a joking mood.

"No? Why would I be jealous of a guy like that. I mean, if that's what you go for, then by all means. But I just don't see it."

"See what?"

"What he has?" I paused to think about it for a second.

"Well he has a really nice body-" Again, before I could get another word out.

"That's it? That's all it takes for you?" He seemed irritated and quickened his pace.

"Well no..." I was trying to keep up with him now, but he was walking too fast. Plus, he was a good few inches taller than me. He stopped in his tracks and opened a gate that was to his left. I stopped as well and looked over. We were at Mustang's place, I didn't even notice where we were at the time.

"I'll see you on Monday." He looked over his shoulder and gave a quick salute.

"Yah." I stood there and watched him till he went around the corner. What was...that all about? ~

 **End of Chapter 2!**

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 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3: Nina

**III**

~The weather set the mood a little too perfectly for today. The past few days had been warm with lots of sunshine. There might have been a couple of clouds in the sky, but never seemed threatening. However, today; today was different. The once bright blue sky was now covered in sorrowful grey clouds, and the rain wasn't letting up anytime soon. Maybe it was because my very own little ray of sunshine was taken, permanently from this world.

* * *

It was quite early in the morning when Mustang received the phone call. The phone had rung several times before Mustang stumbled down the stairs answering it, waking me up in the process. Mustang's voice was booming through the hallway. He sounded like he was still trying to figure out if he was awake or still asleep. Suddenly he went quiet, and a moment later he had hung up the phone after saying he'd be right there. That was enough to get my heavy body out of bed and stumble across the floor and out my bedroom door. I shuffled half way down the stairs, to ask who would call at such an hour. He just stood there, looking at the phone. My instincts kicked in and my heart sank to my stomach, making me wake up completely. I didn't know exactly what was said in that conversation, but I knew it wasn't good.

"Is everything alright?" I had to get Mustang out of his deep thought. He looked up at me for a few moments before picking up the phone, dialing another number.

"You need to get dress. We have business to take care of at the Tucker's residence." His voice tense. It only made my heart sink further down. Tucker? What business did we have with him, and why did it have Mustang so intense? "Sorry to wake you, but it's urgent." Mustang's voice now brought me back from my deep thoughts. "How fast can you get here?" He didn't like the answer. "I'll give Havoc a call, but meet us there." He then hung up the phone and immediately dialed Havoc's number. He must have called Hawkeye first. He glanced up at me again seeming irritated that I was still there. "We leave in 15 minutes. Make sure you're ready before than." I hesitated before making my way back to my room. The more the question dragged out, the less I wanted to know.

* * *

I was ready in 10 minutes, full uniform and what little make up I could manage. I always had a hard time right when I woke up with make up. My eyes always seemed to water too much for the eyeliner. That, and I didn't really want to get "dolled" up this early in the morning. I stood by the door and fidgeted with a corner of yesterday's paper that was sitting on the entrance table. Mustang was finally making his way down, and went straight to the door. I followed staying tight on his heels. Havoc was outside in the car, he looked as tired as I felt. I crawled in the passenger seat, while Mustang took the back. Havoc sheepishly put the car in gear and drove off. I could hear my heart in my ears as the question continued to linger in the air. I didn't stick around to hear the conversation on the phone with Havoc, so I didn't know if he knew more than me. The other question I had was to myself. Did I want to find out and prepare myself, or walk into the Tucker's home without knowing?

"What's going on Colonel?" I thought the best thing would be to prepare myself, but what I didn't know, was that there would be no preparing for what was about to come.

"Shou Tucker, and his daughter Nina, were pronounced dead later last night." I don't know what happened. It was like someone pressed the mute button to my world. I couldn't hear what Mustang was saying next, I couldn't feel myself start to shake. All I could do was continue to look straight out, onto the road as it went by. Next thing I knew, we were in front of Tucker's house. I could finally feel body shaking uncontrollably. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to see Nina, my beautiful Nina, covered in murderous blood. I had no choice. Once I opened the door and stepped outside, my shaking was gone.

* * *

"What happened?" My voice was more steady than I imagined. However, it took everything in me not to fall to my knees. I didn't know what was worse. All the blood everyone was trying to cover up with a tarp, or the fact that, what was lying on the ground, wasn't Nina. Perhaps I should say, it use to be Nina and from what I could tell, her dog Alexander. Now they were forged together, sharing one body. Why would someone do this to such a sweet girl? For once I knew the answer to my question. Shou Tucker. My heart felt no sorrow for the mangled man who laid next to his once precious daughter. Only hatred. He was lucky someone else got a hold of him before I did. That's when I directed my gaze to Mustang. "Did you know about this?" He knew I was referring to Nina being turned into a Chimera."Is that why you were out so late?" I remember the look of exhaustion on his face when he had come home last night. He instantly put his hand up before I could ask him any questions, and went straight to bed.

"I was going to keep it quiet until they got Tucker to a "safe" location. Didn't need you zapping him to death before his trail." He acted so calm, almost cold like. Then again, we were all acting this way. Luckily this wasn't my first experience death. They threw the tarp back over Tucker and Nina, but still weren't able to cover up all the blood. I couldn't be in the room anymore. I was starting to feel nauseous, and a bit dizzy. I didn't even excuse myself when I left.

Now I stood half way in the house and half way outside in the pouring rain, trying to grasp everything. Would I be able to grasp what I've just witnessed. Nina was gone. In all forms, she was gone. My world seemed so much duller, so much darker. Perhaps it was hard to except because it wasn't her actual body lying there on the floor. How was I suppose to look at this? Maybe like how Alphonse is? Different host for a body but the soul still remained. Was it Nina's soul, or was it Alexander's? They said she could talk. That she still sounded like Nina. I felt so conflicted. I wanted to punch something. Even better, I wanted to zap something. The weather was perfect for it. I felt someone's hand tap my shoulder. I opened my eyes, that I didn't know were clenched shut and lifted my head up. I saw the back of Hawkeye walking up the stairs that led to the room where the bodies lay. My stomach was only getting worse by the minute. I looked back out to the rain hoping the sound would relax me. The only thing that started to relax me, I could smell before I saw. Havoc now stood by me in the doorway grabbing his lighter and a cigarette. Normally, I know my heart would have skipped, but it was too broken now to feel anything.

"It doesn't seem to want to let up." He said as he looked up at the clouds. I didn't say anything. There was nothing else to say. Mustang must have ordered him to come check on me.

"How much longer?" I never knew what it was about his smell, but it always helped me calm down. I was grateful he was here next to me, but all I wanted now was to get away from this house.

"Here." He held his cigarette in front of me. I looked at it, then at him, a bit confused. "It'll help the nerves, maybe even help your stomach." Leave it to him to know.

"I'm good. Thanks though." I looked back outside to the grey world while he brought his cigarette back to his lips. We stood there in silence for a while before he broke it.

"It's really messed up." I looked back at him, noticing that he was shaking. "That poor girl." That's all he said before his voice gave out. I was starting to feel relieved that Mustang had ordered him out here. However, I didn't know how to handle this situation. I've never seen Havoc like this. I've never seen him look so...disturbed.

"Havoc..." I didn't know what to say, what to do. The man in front of me was slowly breaking down, and I didn't know how to help. He looked at me with shaky eyes, and I starred back, feeling even more helpless.

"We're heading back to Central." Mustang walked between us, breaking the connection.

"What's going on?" I was back on Mustang's heels.

"We've done all we could here. Now we need to get back so Hughes and Armstong can tell us all he knows about the murderer." I stopped to look back at the house once more, fully knowing that I would never come by here again. "Let's move Lovington." I followed Mustang's orders and headed for the car again.

* * *

We were all back at Central, including Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and Major Armstrong. They had found a quiet hallway to discuss further with Hawkeye and Mustang. Everyone else made their way in finding something to do. I decided to get everyone coffee, again. I didn't know what else there was to do. There was probably a ton of things piling up on the Colonel's desk, but paperwork wasn't going to keep my mind from wandering. It might help for a while, but sooner or later it would drift back to Nina. Instead, my mind drift to Edward and Alphonse. How they had just met Nina, and how close they already were with her. That was Nina though. She had such a bright smile and warm heart. It just reeled you in and you never wanted to let go. I was done pouring the first batch of coffee. I was able to fit two handles for each hand, making me able to deliver four at a time. I figured I'd give Colonel, Lieutenant Colonel, Major and Hawkeye the first batch. I made my way back to the hallway they were located. I stopped just before I got to the corner, listening on the conversation.

"That shows you how dangerous this guy is." Lieutenant Colonel Hughes paused for a second before continuing. "You should increase your escort and lay low for a while, no body will blame you. You should also increase Abby's escort for her own safety." There was concern in his voice. I always enjoyed Lieutenant Colonel Hughes company. He was one of the few people who actually wanted to know how you were doing. That is, if you were in his tight circle of friends. Which living in the same house as Roy Mustang, his best friend, I was defiantly in that tight circle. "Please, I'm asking as your friend. You, Tucker and Abby are the only State Alchemist of note in this area, right?" Lieutenant Colonel Hughes' question didn't even linger for a second.

"Oh no!" I heard Mustang jump up from his seat. The mugs I held in my hands slipped from my grip when I realized why Mustang was running down the hall. Edward.

* * *

Five minutes haven't even gone by before everyone was back outside, frantically looking for the Elric brothers. They were just outside, letting the rain wash away their gloom. However, they were no where in sight now. All that was there was some broken up concrete. We all made our way to the stairs that would lead us to the street, just to find one side destroyed. We all moved to the second set of stairs and tried our best to hurry down them without slipping. When we all made it down, we saw that even the streets were a mess, but at least they had left us a nice trial to follow.

"Damn it! Why didn't I think of them sooner?" Mustang cursed himself out loud as we all fumbled our way to the vehicles.

"Try not to blame yourself so much Colonel." Hawkeye tried reasoning with him. Mustang had ordered more back up and they were to follow tightly behind us. We all pushed our way in one vehicle. Mustang, Hawkeye and Fuery took the back with some room for comfort. Havoc took the driver's seat, while I slid in right next to him, and Breda following behind me. Unfortunately there was not so much room for comfort in the front seat. With Havoc having a built physic and Breda having a bigger build, I had to choose who I was going to be pressed up on. In a normal circumstance I'd be blushing from head to toe being so close to Havoc. My face was practically pressed in his neck. This wasn't a normal circumstance though. Before I even had time to think where my face was, Havoc had stepped on the gas, and he stepped hard. I held on to his uniform tightly and said a few prayers as he made corners without slowing down. I checked behind me, to see if the other parties were keeping up with us. Poor Fuery wasn't handling the corners so well. He was basically becoming one with the door.

"Keep your eyes out for them." Mustang ordered. The boy's trial was thinning out, making it harder to see which way they headed. Just then, I saw them.

"There's Edward!" I frantically pointed out Havoc's window. Havoc jerked the car around the corner and had the car slide to a stop, blocking the street with what he could. We all jumped out while the other personnel also had their vehicles blocking the street. We all filed in a line as Mustang fired his gun into the air to stop the man from touching Edward's head.

"That's enough, you won't be killing anyone else today, Scar." This was the man. He's the one who took my Nina away. He was a tall man. Reminded me a lot of Earl from the bar, only more, built. He could probably crush my head with just his hands alone. As Mustang continued to talk to this man, Scar, my attention slowly went to Edward, who was lying on the street. His automail arm was shattered into pieces. Was this the doing of the murderer in front of us? Just then Mustang handed his gun to Hawkeye. "You guys stay out of it." He ordered while walking towards Scar.

"Colonel Mustang, sir?" There was a slight panic in Hawkeye's voice. What was he doing?

"Colonel Mustang? So this is the Flame Alchemist" Scar talked like he knew the name well. Given any other day, I would've told the murderer to beg for mercy, but the rain was still pouring heavily. "Volunteering yourself to receive judgement? This is truly an auspicious day!" Scar now started making his way to Mustang, at a more, exciting pace. That didn't stop Mustang.

"So you know who I am and you still want to challenge me? Bad decision." What was he doing?! Luckily, just as Scar went for the killing blow, and Mustang snapped his fingers to find nothing, Hawkeye tripped Mustang out of the way. It was truly a beautiful maneuver. She started unloading her clips on Scar, as he skillfully dodge them.

"Hey Hawkeye, what the hell did you do that for?!" Mustang was still sitting on the ground, furious.

"You know as well as I do, you're useless on rainy days. Please stay back sir." Ouch. Mustang's ego defiantly went down the gutter with the rain.

"Oh yah, I forgot. It's kinda hard to get a spark going when it's raining, huh?" Havoc wasn't helping. It also probably wasn't the best to tell our target that our typical Ace is now a Joker. That also goes for me, of course, but it doesn't seem he knows who I am, yet. Scar was about to take another go at us, threatening that he would destroy anyone who interfered with his "mission". I couldn't help but smirk when I saw who had crept up behind him.

"I'd like to see you try it!" Major Armstrong gave a nice hard swing at Scar, who was once again too quick. Major Armstrong only met concrete with his fist. It seemed Havoc and I thought of the same thing. It was the perfect opportunity to retrieve Edward. We both made our way over to him and sat him up straight as Major Armstrong showed off his beautiful art in alchemy. The Major's rants always seemed to humor me. Sooner or later, his uniform jacket would be coming off as well.

"Edward, where's Alphonse?" I brought my attention back to the, what seemed now, very fragile boy.

"He's over there." He pointed into the ally. I was shocked to see the younger brother in worse shape than Edward. "Who is he?" Edward asked Havoc.

"That's the same man who murdered Mr. Tucker and his daughter." Edward seemed shocked by the answer. How I wish it wasn't raining. I could really take my anger out on the right person. Major Armstrong was indeed lucky. The Major was tearing up the streets with spikes in an attempt to wound Scar. "Major watch what you're doing! We don't want to destroy the city, do we?" Havoc was getting a bit angry with the Major's technique.

"What do you mean?" Major Armstrong was offended by Havoc's protest.

"Here it comes." I said under my breath. The uniform came off, and the rant began. I couldn't help but face palm and shake my head.

"Do we have to strip?" Hawkeye wasn't at all impressed.

"Are you surprised? He's clearly insane." Havoc wasn't anymore enthused than Hawkeye.

"The girl there," Right in the middle of Armstrong's rant, Scar had cut him off. His gaze was now on me. "She is Abby Lovington, known as the Spark Alchemist." Shit. "She too must not be able to use her blasphemous alchemy in the rain." Double shit! Before anyone could say anything more, Scar bolted his way to me. I stumbled for my gun, but knew it was too late for self protection. I had to pray Major Armstrong was fast enough for my life. Scar closed his way, while the Major was just processing what had happened. I saw Mustang out the corner of my eye yell. Funny how I saw it, and not heard it. Just then someone had blocked my view and started firing shot after shot to draw Scar back towards the ally. That scent again. I finally let go of the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"You ok?" Havoc asked looking over his shoulder.

"I am now." I gave him a shaky smile. That's when Major Armstrong continued where he was cut off, like nothing had happened. He pointed out what was right in front of us too. Scar was an alchemist. Major and Scar went back to trying to take each other out. I could tell Scar was having some difficulty with the Major. He was even back up into a corner.

"I have you now Scar!" Major sounded so excited. Just as he was coming down for what we all thought was the final blow, Scar saw the one spot to take down Major Armstrong. Lucky for us, the Major was quicker than he looked. Hawkeye was set up perfectly and actually hit Scar with shot.

"You get him?" Mustang seemed excited thinking what we all were thinking.

"He's too fast. I only grazed him with one shot." She sounded a bit disappointed. I think we all were. That's when the puzzle came together. The reason Scar, the alchemist, was killing State Alchemist. Tan skin, snow white hair, and red eyes. Ishvalan. Mustang and Major Armstrong seemed bothered by this fact. Of course it had to do with their time in the Ishvalan War. Scar seemed to be second guessing his ability to the amount of fire arm that was now aimed at him.

"You might as well give up Scar. You're not getting away..." Before Mustang could finish the sentence, Scar placed his hand on the ground and there was a bright light along with an explosion. He escaped through the sewers. "Stay put." Mustang ordered everyone.

"Sir, you don't have to tell me twice." Havoc joked. I for one felt relieved. We were all safe once again, for now. Out of no where Lieutenant Colonel Hughes arrived at the scene. Mustang was pissed that he didn't show up for back up. Not that I blamed the Lieutenant Colonel. He had a wife and daughter to think of. No reason for him to be getting involved anymore than he needs to.

"Oh no, Alphonse!" Before I could help Edward up, he was bolting towards his bother, who ended up punching him, twice. Next thing I knew, the sun was coming out from behind the cloud. That's when I noticed the rain had finally stopped. I starred out at the sky, at the sun. It all seemed beautiful. Like no matter what, there is always light in darkness.

* * *

It was getting late, but I was still at the bar. I wasn't going to go home to an empty house with just me and my thoughts. Not after today. I was only going to have one drink, to get rid of the sting, but one just wasn't enough. Before I knew it, I was very courageously flirty with my favorite bartender, Earl.

"Did I e-ever tell you...that you're my favorite?" If you call slurring and trying to desperately show what little cleavage I have, flirting.

"You're favorite "what", exactly?" Earl seemed to be enjoying himself though.

"My favorite bartender of course!" I was a bit offended by his question. What else could I possibly mean?

"Well, no offense, but have you ever experience any other bartender?" What was he trying to get at?

"Well no? Why would I want to go experience another bartender, when you're my favorite?" He laughed at that. He had a nice laugh.

"If it's any difference, you're my favorite customer." He gave me a wink with his knee buckling smile.

"You're sexy." I swore I said it to myself, but judging by his face, I actually said it out loud.

"Looks like someone's having fun." For once, I didn't smell him before I saw him. I looked over my shoulder to see Havoc standing just a few inches away. I gave him a drunken smile and spun around on my bar stool. "Yah, I think she'll be having water for what little time she'll be spending here." Havoc pushed my drink back at Earl.

"You sir, are a party...pooper!" I attempted to spin around on my stool again, but Havoc grabbed the seat before I could take off. He was standing a bit too close, just hovering over me. His smell was intoxicating.

"And you, ma'am, are drunk." He gave me one of those disapproving looks.

"She's been drinking water the past two drinks now." I heard Earl whisper to Havoc.

"And he's...a traitor." I pointed an accusing finger at Earl. He only smirked.

"How many drinks has she had?" I started counting on my hand, not realizing the question was aimed at Earl. "I've had 5!" I was so proud of myself. Normally my limit is 2, but I was feeling good with 5.

"Minus the 2 waters." Earl defended when Havoc gave him a look.

"Party poopers!" I shouted in the practically dead bar.

"Ok, come on. Let's get you home." Havoc grabbed my arm and started to lift me up.

"No!" I shoved him back. No way in hell was I going home to the quiet, empty house. I know Mustang has a lot on his plate, and that always means he'll be living at the office.

"Abby, you need to go home." Havoc had his authority voice. It only made me giggle.

"Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be off flirting with some pretty girl?" That was meant to hurt him. If it actually did, I wouldn't know.

"Colonel sent me to look for you. I've been looking for hours." He explained.

"Well congratulation! You found me. Now, you can go." I faced myself back to Earl to order an actual drink, and this time, I would pay attention to the taste.

"And you're coming with me." Havoc attempted to grab me again, but I swung my arm out from his grip.

"I'm not going home!" I shouted at him.

"Yes you are." He became more stern.

"Just leave me alone. I was doing perfectly fine until you came." I was starting to get emotional. Damn it.

"No, you were getting yourself wasted. Now you're coming home whether I have to throw you over my shoulders-" Before he could finish his sentence, I started yelling louder at him.

"I'm not going home to that God damn, forsaken house! Not after today! Don't make me go there by myself, Jean. Please? I can't..." I felt his grip loosen as the first bunch of tears fell down my cheek. "Nina..." That's all I could say before my voice gave out. Next thing I knew, my nose was being complete consumed by cigarette and cologne. Havoc had embraced me, covering my face with his body. I hated him for it, because that only made me want to cry more. I was doing so good until he came along. I was getting by just fine with accepting the fact that a precious little girl was now dead. I continued to cry my heart out in the middle of the bar, in Havoc's shoulder and he let me. He let me cry until all he heard was soft sobs. He then scooped me up from the chair and continued to carry me out of the bar. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. Even in my drunken state, I was thanking God that I had worn shorts and not the sun dress I had been dying to wear since I bought it.

"I"ll be back to pay the tab, Earl." Havoc said before exiting. I hated him. ~

 **End of Chapter 3!**

 _Hey everyone! Sorry it took me forever for an update...I just moved to a new town, and just now set up my internet. Also, sorry for such a long chapter. I'm not sure if you prefer long or short, but I just kept typing till I ran out of stuff haha Well either way, I hope you enjoy! I'll make sure the next update doesn't take as long! :D_

 **Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4: Day With Havoc

IV

~ _"Mommy, where does daddy go all the time?" I was small again, 4 maybe 5 years old. I was back in my old house in Resembol, with my mother outside watering her rose bushes. The sun was out and blinding, making anyone sweat 5 minutes from being outside._

 _"He's on special missions for the military, my dear." My mother truly is a beautiful woman, inside and out. Her skin isn't like mine. It's like everyone's around here, clean white. She also has luscious blonde hair that pours out of her head with curls. Her eyes, however, are the only thing I received from her, that, and her divine physique._

 _"Special missions?" I didn't know my father. There were only pictures on the walls and dressers of him. That's how I knew I received my skin and hair from him, and from what my mother said, his personality._

 _"Yes, the military of this country sends him all over the place, sometimes all over the world. They give him a special task, and he goes to complete it for them. That's why he can't be home now, but when he's all done with all his missions, he'll be home." My mother finished watering one bush and went to the other. I starred at the roses thinking over what my mother had just told me._

 _"When I grow up, I think I'll join the military too!" So many thoughts were going through my mind. My imagination was always out of control._

 _"Oh, and why do you want to join?" My mother seemed timid by my statement._

 _"I want to see the world, just like daddy."_

 _"I see." My enthusiasm deflated when I saw my mother smiling at me. There was a deep sadness to her smile, yet she was still beautiful as ever._

My eyes shot open from the dream. It was more like a memory. I tempted to prop myself up, but knew instantly that wasn't going to happen. My head felt heavy and my stomach didn't feel any lighter. I brought my hand up to my forehead, trying to remember what had happened last night. I remember Nina, Scar, the bar, and...

"Look who's finally up." Of course he was here. Why wouldn't he be here? It's not like he has anything better to do than to get my heart racing. I tried my best to lift my head up to see where Havoc was. I caught the glimpse of him at my small table set, at the foot of my bed up against the wall. He was sitting in my most comfortable arm chair. My head went crashing back down on my pillow, making things spin a bit.

"Why are you here? Did you stay all night?" My brain frantically went through everything that happened last night. I cried, I actually cried on Havoc and then he... My head felt hot which wasn't helping my condition. He actually carried me all the way from the bar and tucked me in. Kill me now!

"Orders." I wasn't expecting that answer. Orders? From Mustang? Of course, he's probably taking Hughes advice and giving me an escort until they capture Scar. I groaned in misery. Of all people, why Havoc?

"What does that mean, specifically?"

"I am to be with you 24/7 until further notice." He now stood up from the chair and walked over to the window. In other words, there was no leaving my side. Perfect. My days of peace were over. I had a million question going through my mind, but the one that stuck out the most, where was he going to sleep? This was only a two bedroom house, and the couch was certainly not an option. I wouldn't even want my worst enemy to sleep on that solid rock. He certainly wouldn't be able to sleep in a chair the whole time, even if it is extremely comfortable. Especially when we don't know when we'll catch Scar. My head only felt hotter thinking of where he would be sleeping.

"No freaking way!" I went stiff realizing I had said that out loud. Havoc was looking at me in confusion.

"What's no freaking way?" Great! How am I suppose to explain this one? No freaking way am I letting you sleep in the same bed as me? I know you didn't mention anything, but that's what I've been thinking of this past minute. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I was just saying that... There was no freaking way I'm getting out of bed today." Yes, good one Abby! I feel like crap anyways, so it all works out. Havoc made a weary sigh and went back to his chair.

"That's fine. Colonel said that you had the day off to rest and recollect yourself anyways." Havoc slumped down into the chair and laid his head back, closing his eyes. That must mean Mustang knows about my behavior last night. Knowing this, only made me want to get out of bed and go to work. Prove everyone wrong that I am collected. Abby Lovington doesn't have break downs! I made another miserable groan as I threw my covers off myself. I was still dressed in my cloths from last night. It only made me feel more gross but there was no time for a shower.

"I thought you weren't getting out of bed." He didn't even open his eyes as I crept by him to my bathroom.

"I want to go in. I'm sure there's a big mess, and Colonel could use all the help." I was now in my bathroom, washing my face free of what little make-up I still had on.

"The Colonel also said that if you insisted on coming in, that the nice suggestion will become an order." You're kidding me? I'm being order to not come into work? What am I suppose to do ALL day? I dried my face from the water as I pondered the possibilities. I guess I could go shop around town, get Havoc a cott to sleep on. That'll get one problem out of the way. I walked back out to my room and opened my dresser. The real question was, what would be the outfit for the day? Havoc was going to be with me so... I shut my dresser drawer without grabbing anything, and went straight back to my bathroom, shutting the door.

"What are you doing exactly?" True curiosity was in Havoc's voice.

"I'm getting ready." If there was ever a perfect time to wear it, it was today. I starred at my new white sundress that was hanging on my bathroom door. The dress I was going to wear last night, but decided against it. The weather last night still wasn't favorable for a dress when I headed out to the bar, but today, today was different. I took the dress from the hanger and slipped it right on. It was perfect. I picked it out because I didn't have an all white one, plus, it hugged all the right curves on my body. I felt good in it. I then turned to the mirror to decide what I was going to do with my hair. I always have it up, I think for once it be nice to leave it down. I just ran my brush through the mess a couple times until in ran smoothly. I was lucky that I got my mother's natural wave. I placed my brush down, thinking of her, remembering my dream.

"What exactly are you getting ready for?" Havoc was right outside the door down. He must be getting impatient.

"I want to go out to town and shop for a few things." I was now starting on my make-up. I was actually putting more on than usual, since it was my day off. I was quite content with how I looked. Just as I was reaching for the door handle to present myself to the man waiting ever so patiently, my heart started racing. I hesitated at the door. What if he didn't like it? Would he know that I was trying to impress him? Would he laugh? I don't think he's ever seen me in a dress. I looked at myself again in the mirror, seriously debating taking off the dress and grabbing a more usual apparel. No. I bought the dress for me. I felt beautiful in it and that's all that matters. I took a deep breath in and opened the door. Havoc was back to sitting in his chair, but once his eyes locked onto me, he stood straight back up. My heart was racing too fast. I could practically hear it in my ears. He was just starring at me, mouth slightly open with a slight blush on his cheeks. Should I take this as a compliment?

"What?" I was feeling uncomfortable with everything. I should've changed.

"No-nothing, it's just...why are you all dressed up?" I knew it. He thought it was weird. I was regretting not sticking to the normal.

"Do I look that weird?" My confidence was wilting before my eyes.

"No!" His reaction surprised me. "Not weird at all, just...beautiful." His blush deepened a bit. My heart fluttered, and it fluttered hard. I felt so relieved that I almost started crying. Instead, I cleared my throat.

"Thank you." I couldn't look him in the eye now. Havoc was the one who cleared his throat this time.

"So what were you wanting to do today?" I couldn't help but smile.

"I wanted to shop for somethings." I jogged to the other side of the room, to my wardrobe. I picked out a pair of heels that went perfectly with my dress.

"Like what exactly?"

"Well, I was thinking of getting some groceries for dinner tonight. I want to make something for Mustang, since he'll be in the office for a while. Also, I figured we could get you a cot to sleep on. I doubt you want to sleep in that chair the whole time." I slipped the shoes on, which brought me a good two inches taller. They made me feel even more sexy. Why didn't I dress like this more often?

"No it's fine. The chair isn't all that bad." Typical answer.

"Still, I want to make sure you have options." I started to walk pass him, towards my bedroom door.

"You mean your bed isn't one?" I stumbled by his comment. Lucky for me, I could blame the heels.

"No it's not an option! What makes you think it ever was?" That smirk of his was on his stupid face.

"I have my reasons." He walked pass me and out the door. Confused, I followed him and went down the stairs, out the front door.

It was such a beautiful day. The sun was out and there was a slight breeze. I would have to keep an eye on my dress, make sure it didn't fly up and expose my under garments.

"Do we need to stop by your place and pick anything up?" I asked as Havoc closed the gate entrance.

"No, I already grabbed everything I would need." He locked the gate and gave it a good shake to make sure it was locked. This felt so weird. It was like we were going on a date, but I knew better. Still, I couldn't get my heart to stop racing ever since that moment in the bedroom. What was Mustang thinking? I was reaching for the car door, when Havoc's hand beat me to it. I looked at him confused. Were we not taking the car? He then opened the door for me and extended his hand out. I wanted to cry from sheer happiness.

"Mi'lady." I took his hand and he guided me into the car, like a true gentleman.

"Why thank you, kind sir." I was trying so hard to keep my smile as small as possible. He gently closed the door and ran around the car to his side, sliding in right next to me.

"So, where's our first stop?" He asked as he started the car.

* * *

The late morning and early afternoon was spent very wisely. We returned to the house with plenty of bags. Mostly from groceries, but then there was the cot. Havoc had almost argued my ear off before giving in. He knew once I made up my mind up, there was no persuading it.

"I'll grab the groceries if you grab the cot." I said as I opened the back seat door and gathered all the bags.

"You know you wasted your money on this right? I'm not going to use it." Havoc grumbled as he too opened the back seat door and fought with the cot.

"Or you could be a good body guard and not waste my money." I closed the car door with my foot and headed for the gate. I had to set the bags down, and waited for Havoc to catch up. The cot was quite big, I was impressed. He needed both hands to carry it.

"Can you get the keys out of my pocket?" He asked as he continued to fumble with the cot.

"Yah, which pocket are they in?" I wasn't thinking.

"Front, right." I walked around him and put my hand down his pocket grabbing the keys. I really wasn't thinking. He squirmed a bit as I pulled my hand back out and walked back to the gate. I unlocked and opened it up wide so Havoc could fit through. I was a bit confused when I saw that he was blushing. I didn't really give it a second thought and ran pass him to open the front door for him. When he got through I went back for the groceries that were still outside.

"Mommy, look at that pretty girl." I heard a young girl say to her mother who were walking pass me on the sidewalk.

"Yes, she's very pretty." The mother said in a hushed voice. I couldn't help but smile. My self esteem was to the max right now! I hurried back inside and placed the bags on the counter. I could hear Havoc upstairs, cursing at the cot. He'll thank me one day, when his back was begging for a bed. I sorted all the contents from the bags onto the counter and started to prepare diner for everyone. I wasn't sure who was all going to be at the office still, but I thought it was safe to assume everyone. Even if it was just Mustang and Hawkeye, I didn't mind leftovers.

* * *

I was almost done with preparing dinner when Havoc came back inside from his third smoke break. The thought of the amount of tar that was in his lungs made me cringe.

"Smells really good." He stood over the stove to take a nice big whiff.

"Thanks! It's almost done." I was now cleaning everything up. I had made quite a mess in the kitchen.

"We're supposed to take this to Mustang right?" He seemed a bit jealous.

"Yep, and whoever is still at the office. I thought it'd be a nice treat for everyone, except Mustang. He's use to my cooking." I always cooked for Mustang. I also cleaned the place when it actually got messy. It was my way of paying my share around the place, since Mustang didn't ask rent from me. He would always glow when I called him down for dinner. His compliments were always assuring too. Hopefully everyone else had the same taste buds as him.

"Havoc, could you turn off the stove, please." Everything should be done. I went through the cupboards to find my traveling dishes. I stored everything as well as I could, and sealed the containers. I prayed it would all still be warm by the time we got to everyone.

"You mean we're not eating yet?" Havoc seemed so disappointed. I couldn't help but giggle to myself. It was fun watching him squirm to the smell of the food.

"No, I was wanting to eat with everyone at the office." I placed each container in the bags as carefully as possible. I handed one bag to Havoc and headed back to the front door, slipping my heels back on. We both stepped outside again and walked to the car. Havoc handed me his bag so he could lock everything back up and opened my door again so it was easier for me to slide in with the bags. The sun was just starting to set, giving the world a long day well spent kind of glow. I set the bags down by my legs, but still held onto the handles for support. I prayed to myself that everyone would like my cooking. If not, I would be buying everyone a round at the bar to make up for it.

* * *

I should have changed clothes before I came to the office. The entire walk from the entrance of the building to Mustang's door was extremely awkward. Everyone starred and whispered. I was gone all day with Havoc, and now we show up like this. I tried to shake everything off, but no matter what, I couldn't shake being uncomfortable. We weren't even in the office yet. I now prayed that it was only Roy and Hawkeye in there. Havoc opened the door for me, he was being such a gentleman today, and I walked right in. My prayers weren't answered.

"Hey guys! I thought Abby had the day off today?" Fuery greeted us. Just when he noticed my apparel, he stopped with a slight blush.

"Whoa, look at this looker." Breda was the next to notice. I couldn't help but blush to myself with their compliments.

"I'm going to assume by Lovington's attire, that you're both not here for work related matters." Mustang did not seem impressed. I continued to walk in the room and placed my bag on my desk, Havoc placed his bag right next to mine.

"I brought everyone dinner." I started digging everything out of the bags. I went through the bag Havoc had and placed all the plates/bowls and utensils out. Next I took out the containers with food and opened up them up. They seemed to still be warm. I sighed with relief. Mustang was the first one at my side, ready for his share. I was sure to give him a big portion of food, since that's what he was use to. Everyone else lined up, except Hawkeye. Havoc was the last one, aside from myself. I walked over to Hawkeye with my plate full to see if I could get anything out of her. I knew Mustang wouldn't tell me anything until I was back for duty.

"You don't want any?" I held the plate up to her nose. She gave me a small smile.

"No thank you. I have leftovers at home that need to be gone soon."

"Holy cow! Abby, you made all this?" Fuery asked with half a mouth full.

"Um, yah. I went shopping today with Havoc and figured I could whip something up for you guys."

"To think the Colonel gets this almost every night. Lucky bastard." Breda mumbled just loud enough for me to hear. Hawkeye walked pass me and grabbed a portion for herself. Her curiosity got the better of her, she needed to know what the hype was about.

"Hmm, it could use a bit more pepper and salt, but other than that, it's very good." She took another bite full. I couldn't be any happier! Riza was complimenting my food. How could this day get any better? Now there was just one more person I needed to confirm with. I walked over to where Havoc and Mustang were standing, quietly eating their food.

"So?" I asked while patiently waiting for Havoc to swallow. I already knew Mustang loved my cooking. If it was up to him, he'd hire me as a full time chef.

"So what?"

"So, do you like it?" This man was incorrigible.

"Well..." He paused. He was pausing too long. He didn't like it. I felt a twinge of hurt by his reaction. "It's not like my mom's cooking, but it comes pretty close." I was confused now. Was that a compliment?

"So, you like it?"

"It's delicious!" He gave me his famous heart melting smile. He liked it! I returned his smile with one of my own. It just got better.

As we packed everything back up, Mustang informed me that he would be home tonight. It would just be late, so Havoc needed to be there. He then preceded to warn Havoc that if he tried any funny business, his ass would be ash. I had to calm the situation and told Mustang that we had bought him a cot. It still didn't convince Mustang. I was starting to wonder why he assigned Havoc in the first place. As we were leaving, everyone had thanked me once again for the food. I told them I'd see them all tomorrow and let Havoc shut the door behind us.

"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." I said as we started back down the hallway. Hopefully there wouldn't be too many people around, since it was now dark. Man, my feet were starting to really hurt. This is why I don't always dress this way, but after today, I just might start doing it more often.

"I could defiantly use a hot shower." Havoc seemed a bit tired himself. Lovely, now I was going to have to fight him for the shower. Maybe he's quick? How long do guys typically take showers? In and out, like Mustang? So many questions, so little energy. We were finally outside of headquarters, with the cool summer breeze gently blowing at us. I tucked my free hand at the back of my dress to make sure it stayed put. It was such a nice night, perfect for campin-

"Crap!" I stopped right at the base of the steps.

"What's wrong?" Havoc automatically grabbed the gun that was hiding in his brown leather jacket.

"Nothing!" I quickly grabbed his arm and got him to lower it. I should probably not make sudden comments like that anymore. "I just...remembered something." I need new pajamas. The ones I have are so not guest appropriate.

"Are you kidding me?" I could tell he wanted to say more, but he decided against it. "What did you remember." I let go of his arm as he started to put the gun back in it's safe spot. Oh boy. How do I explain that I need to go buy new sleepwear? Sorry, but I don't want you to get the wrong impression? Then I would have to explain what I sleep in and that wasn't going to happen.

"I just remember that I have to go buy something else." Please don't ask what!

"Like what? I thought we got everything already?"

"Uh, well, not exactly."

"What do you even need?" Damn. I wasn't going to be able to come up with a good enough excuse.

"I think the less you know the better." I know I only raised his curiosity, but I didn't know what else to say. Anything else would have made him even more curious.

"Well it's going to have to wait for tomorrow." He started to walk towards the car again.

"What? Why can't we go tonight?"

"Check the time, princess. It's late. I don't think we're going to find anything open." This can't be happening. There has to be something open! Just how late was it? I ran up to Havoc and grabbed the wrist I knew had his watch. "Hey!" I startled him once again, but it was for a good cause. 2100 hours! How did it get so late? Were we really in Mustang's office that long?

"This can't be happening..." I couldn't escape the inevitable.

"What's wrong? What do you need to buy so desperately?" He took his arm back again, looking at his watch.

"Nothing. Just forget about it. I'll buy it tomorrow." I crawled into the car, knowing that I probably wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

* * *

Havoc had beat me to the shower. That bastard! I had it all planned in the car. I was going to take the first shower; then, while he was taking his, I was going to quickly change into my nightwear and crawl deep into bed. He would have never known. It was all ruined now, and I couldn't just not take a shower. I haven't taken one for a couple of days, and I couldn't sleep knowing that I was covered in filth.

"Man, that is the cleanest bathroom I've ever used." I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't hear him get out of the shower. He was wearing blue pajama pants, a black t-shirt, and the towel he used hanging off his neck. His skin and hair were still damp from the shower. He looked...irrisitable. I was in trouble. "What's wrong with you?" Crap, I was starring too long.

"Nothing! How was the shower?" I made my way to my dress, trying to discretely take my cloths out and hide them behind my back.

"Clean." He raised an eyebrow at my back.

"Is your bathroom not clean?" Just get to the bathroom as quickly as possible, and it'll be cake from there.

"No, it's clean. Just not, THAT clean. Do you clean it everyday or something?" I made a nervous laugh as I started to scoot by him. His eyes were on me the whole way until I shut the bathroom door. I took in a tired sigh and unfolded the piece of cloth that was in my hand.

"I'm going to get so much crap for this." I held my black seductive night gown up. I didn't even look to see which one I grabbed, and it just had to be this one. I placed the nightie on my sink counter and turned to the shower to turn in on. I quickly undressed since the water was already hot and stepped right in. I stuck my head right in the steaming water, hoping it would take all my thoughts away. That's when I smelt it. His shampoo, or maybe it was his body wash. Whatever it was, it smelt good. Very manly. It was kinda turning me on...

"Hey, so where do you want me to set up the cot?" I almost slipped when I heard his voice so close to the shower curtain.

"What the hell?! Get out of here Havoc!"

"Okay, okay! Just tell me where to set it up." Oh no! He's going to see my night gown! Why didn't I hide it?

"Just set it up anywhere, I don't care!" Anything to get him out of here.

"Are you sure-"

"GET OUT!" The door quickly closed and I poked my head out. There was no way he didn't see it. Now he was probably thinking I'm trying to seduce him! I stuck my head back under the water, trying even harder to stop thinking. All I own is night gowns. I don't wear them to seduce, I don't think any man has ever seen me in them. I find them very comfortable. I don't even think I could sleep in anything else. Pants just get way too hot. The plus side was that I did feel sexy in them, but again, I've never actually worn them in front of a man before. I mean, I've ran downstairs in front of Mustang before...but that was different! What am I going to do?

* * *

I felt a bit better when I was finished with my shower, and by better, I mean cleaner. I probably spent 20 minutes looking in the mirror, psyching myself up to go out. Every time I would touch my door knob, I froze. He was going to see me. Just then, I had a brilliant idea. I slowly opened the door and poked my head out.

"Hey Havoc?" He was back sitting at my table set. He was taking his gun a part, cleaning it.

"Yah." He was very intent with his gun. This might actually work.

"I need you to do something for me."

"Uh-huh?"

"Could you...keep your eyes closed until I've crawled in bed?" That got his attention. Maybe I shouldn't of said anything. He probably wouldn't of even noticed me running by with the way he was cleaning his gun, but I ruined it. I've once again perked his curiosity.

"Why?" He was looking back at me now.

"Just do it, okay? Please?" He continued to stare at me before he finally turned back around.

"Okay, they're closed."

"No peeking." He didn't respond. "You can't peek Havoc!"

"Alright! Would you just hurry before I yank you out of there and put you to bed myself." That got me moving. I quickly ran by him and slipped right into bed. I looked up to tell him that he could open his eyes, but I was stunned with horror. His eyes were already open, looking right at me; and judging by the way he was looking at me, he saw everything. "Why...are you wearing that?" Oh. My. GOD!

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK!" I grabbed one of my extra pillows and chucked it at him. He caught the pillow right in mid air, before it hit his face. I wish I had something more heavy, more firm to throw. He just kept starring at me, still seeing what he just saw. This was it. I was done. I could hear all the whispers at work now. Maybe if I explain...

"It's all I've ever worn. Even when I was little I worn night gowns. It's just...when you grow up, they just get a bit more..."

"Sexy." That put me over the edge. I shoved the covers off and crawled quickly over the bed towards him. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in close to my face.

"Listen here, Havoc. If you tell anyone, ANYONE, what I find comfortable for bed, I will kill you. Do you understand? You and I both know how capable I am of zapping the life out of my enemies." The last part was a bit of a white lie. I've never really killed anyone. Not yet at least, but the message had to stick. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were no longer on my face. I realized that my body was out in the open again, giving him a nice little show. I shoved him back into his chair and wrapped my blanket around me. I was mortified. Only my husband was suppose to see me like this. I had already given my virginity to someone else along time ago. A choice I regret to this day. My husband wouldn't be my first with sex, but I had promised myself that he would be the first to see me so vulnerable. I guess that was out the window.

"I won't tell anyone." Havoc had a sincere look. Like he understood.

"Really?"

"Yah." He chuckled at my question. "Do you really think I'm the kind of guy to go off and tell people such a, intimate thing." Intimate? He does understand. My shoulders relaxed a bit hearing him say that.

"I guess not." I finally smiled with relief.

"Now crawl back in bed. I'll close my eyes again." He laughed when I gave him a look. "And I'll keep them closed this time, I promise." The way he was looking at me, I can't explain it, but if I had to, it made my heart stop. He turned back to his gun and closed his eyes. I hesitated for a moment and crawled back to the top of my bed. The moment I was tucked in, I heard Havoc lite a cigarette before working on his gun again. I slowly drifted of to sleep as the smell of his cigarette filled the room and the sound of his gun being cleaned. Today, was a good day. ~

 **End of Chapter 4!**

 _Let me know if I've made any mistakes!_

 **THANKS FOR READING! :D**


	5. Chapter 5: Search for Scar

**V**

~ The sun was finally rising, and starting to creep it's way through my bedroom window. I've been up for a couple of hours now, all thanks to Havoc. If he wasn't snoring, it was a good heavy breathing. So many times I was tempted to suffocate him with one of my pillows. He was still in that damn lounge chair, even though he has a perfectly brand new cot set up just for him. He was the one who set it up too! I decided to get out of bed and get ready for work. I made a mental note to myself as I was undressing to stop by my favorite boutique and buy new, more appropriate pajamas. Maybe I'll ask Hawkeye to come with me if she's not too busy keeping an eye on the Colonel. Thinking of Mustang, he said he was going to be home last night. I wonder when he got in, or even if he got in at all? There was only one way to find out.

All dressed for work, I exited my bathroom and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I was surprised to have my question of Mustang answered by the smell of fresh coffee in the air. He was sitting at the counter, reading this morning's newspaper with his mug of coffee in his hands. It was very unusual to see him up so early. Did he even go to bed?

"Good morning." I greeted myself and gave him a smile as I went around the corner, seeing his face for the first time. I wasn't expecting him to look so... "You look awful! When did you get in?" He had a decent shade of bags under his eyes, he must have been up all night. He was even still in uniform. What was the point of him coming home?

"Late. I didn't get much sleep, too much on my mind." He took a big sip from his mug. I felt his pain, granted I probably got more sleep than him, but I was feeling the lost hours of sleep I had. I took the coffee pot from it's warmer and held it up to him, silently asking if he wanted a refill. He pushed his mug closer to me, accepting.

"Do you have time for breakfast?" I placed the pot back in it's warmer when I finished filling up his mug. "I was going to make pancakes."

"Only if there's bacon and eggs with them." He took another big sip of coffee.

"Alright, I suppose I could do that." Maybe the smell of bacon would get Havoc up. I gathered all my equipment and ingredients to make breakfast. "How do you want your eggs?" I already knew the answer. Mustang always had sunny side up, no exceptions. I always ask, because the day I don't, is the day he wants something different.

"Sunny side." I mouthed the words as he said it. I got the bacon going and started with the pancake batter. "You ready for work today?" That was his way of asking if I was alright. He was bound to ask.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I poured the first pancake on the hot pan. "I wanted to thank you, by the way, for allowing me a day of leave." I actually wanted to apologize, but I knew he wouldn't accept an apology. He never did. He just didn't want to see the same mistake happen twice.

"Everyone needs a day off every once in a while. It was no problem." He was still reading the paper, probably trying to find anything that might lead him to Scar.

"Did we miss anything yesterday?"

"No. Just a bunch of paperwork, but today we'll be search the tunnels for Scar. I need you to be ready for combat."

"Yes sir." I flipped the finished pancake onto the plate I had set a side.

"I'm serious Abby." His tone changed. I glanced behind me to see he finally looked up from the paper. His eyes held anger and concern. "There's a possibility that you'll need to strike to kill. I know you've never done anything like that, and I need to be able to count on you." There was a moment of silence between us. In other words, he couldn't afford to worry about me. I was never expecting him to. Not when he has to worry about not only himself, but everyone else that would be down there. "Can I?"

"Yes." It was true, I was never put in a situation when it came down to life or death. As I turned back to the stove, I prayed to myself that I would have the strength to make that decision when it came. I had to be strong, no more break downs.

"Smells good." Havoc was finally up. He was still in his nightwear, also looking tired. How could he be tired? He probably got more sleep than Mustang and I.

"I'm making pancakes. Want some?" I put Mustang's plate together. Two pancakes, three pieces of bacon, and one sunny side up egg. I placed it in front of him, and his eyes lite up for the first time. It always made me feel good seeing that look. Havoc was eyeing Mustang's plate.

"I'll have what he's having." I should just open a restaurant, but only serve close friends. That would be perfect. All my loved ones appreciating my food! Better yet, just having all my loved ones in the same place. Just thinking of it made me happy.

"Do you want your egg the same?" I started on Havoc's plate now.

"Yes, ma'am." He came around the corner next to me, and poured himself a cup of coffee. How I wish I could drink coffee like the rest of them, especially with mornings like this. I'll just have to move around a lot today, and by what Mustang was saying, that wasn't going to be a problem. Havoc went back and sat next to Mustang, glancing at the paper with him.

"How was the sleeping arrangements last night?" Mustang asked before taking a bite of his bacon. What exactly was he asking? Why did I suddenly feel uncomfortable? I even messed up with flipping the pancake.

"Well, I bought Havoc a cot so he had a place to sleep, but he thinks the chair is better." There was a bit of bitterness to my tone. The cot wasn't expensive, but it's not like I wanted to waste my money on it. I know he told me it was a waste, but I give it two more days. He'll be thanking me then.

"That's good to hear." Not even Mustang understood the bitterness I felt to the cot topic. "I'll be in and out of here so I'm bringing Breda to help out. You and him can take shifts." He was talking to Havoc now.

"And who's going to be covering your butt, Colonel?" Havoc asked with a smirk, already knowing the answer. I also knew the answer.

"Hawkeye will be with me at all times, unless I come home. Then Havoc will have the honor of having my back." Hawkeye was more than enough to protect Mustang. That meant that Breda was going to have my back when Havoc wasn't around. I didn't know if that was a good thing or bad, because I didn't know if Breda was a worse snorer than Havoc. Guess we'll find out. Maybe Breda will use the cot. I put Havoc's plate together and sat it right in front of him.

"This looks amazing! Where would I find the silverware?" He asked as he reached for the syrup. I opened the drawer behind me and grabbed him a fork and butter knife. He graciously took the silverware from me and started digging in. I went back to the stove and started putting all the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Please put your plates in the sink when finished. It makes if easier when I do the dishes." I popped on the sink to fill it up with warm water.

"You're not having breakfast?" Havoc asked in between a mouth full. Mustang looked at me as he drank the last of his coffee.

"No, I'm not all that hungry. I can wait till lunch." I was never big on breakfast. Ever since I could remember my stomach always felt queasy until lunch. Then I was devouring everything in my sight. It was about time to go anyways.

"You're gonna regret it." Havoc said and took another mouth full of pancake.

"Double time Havoc, we need to get going and you're not even dressed." Mustang stood up and brought his plate to the sink, just like I asked. Havoc started shoveling the food into his mouth and also brought his plate to the sink. How did I get so lucky to have two men trained to put things where they belong? The military was truly good. As Havoc ran upstairs to change, Mustang and I went over to the front door to put on my work boots. Hopefully we would catch ourselves a murderer today.

* * *

It was a couple of hours past lunch time and my stomach was growling at me very angery for still not feeding it. We've been down in the tunnels all morning, with no trace of Scar. It was only day one, so no one was really expecting to find him. It didn't stop us from hoping though. Every available unit was ordered to be down looking, but there wasn't too many "available" units. There was only 6 teams, including Mustang's, searching high and low. Our group split up after some time, leaving me with Fuery and Havoc. Breda, Falman, and Hawkeye had each other, while Mustang was back at the office doing God knows what? Knowing him he was taking a nap, since Hawkeye wasn't there to keep an eye on him.

I should have listened to Havoc this morning, and ate something. I felt like I was dying with having nothing in my stomach and little sleep. I should have asked Fuery to buy me a muffin or something before he disappeared to the surface a while back. When were we supposed to be done anyway? I was starting to drag behind Havoc feeling a bit dizzy. I need to pull myself together! I told Mustang I could handle myself. I slapped both my hands to my face hoping the pain would wake me up a bit.

"You doing okay, Sparky?" Havoc turned back and shown his flashlight on me.

"Just peachy." I wasn't going to let him know that he was right. That I was regretting not eating. "Getting a little concerned about Fuery, he's been gone for a while. What did you have him do anyway?"

"Just needed him to get something, but he is taking a long time."

"He might be looking for us. We did cover a lot of ground after he left. Maybe we should slow down until he finds us?" It would do me some good too.

"Probably." Havoc reached into his pocket for his lighter, lighting another one of his cigarettes. He leaned against the tunnel wall, making it clear we were going to take a break. I walked over and sat down by hit feet. Fuery could take all the time now. The longer the better.

"So how many of those do you have a day?" I was referring to the cigarettes.

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. I guess it depends on the day, but it's less than half a pack." He took a big hit from his cigarette. Really? I wouldn't of guessed it. It seems like every time I turn around he has one in his mouth, but now that I think of it, they're not always lit. Maybe having one in his mouth comforts him. Kinda like having him around all the time makes me feel more comfortable.

Just then I could hear foot steps in the distance. It sounded like someone was running. I looked up to Havoc and saw he was eyeing the direction the foot steps were coming from. His hand was on his gun, ready to be pulled for the killing shot. I stood up, looking back down the dark tunnel. We had just come from that direction. There's no way we missed Scar.

"It could be Fuery." My throat felt tight. I was hoping it was Fuery and that Havoc didn't accidentally shoot him. We didn't really set up a system for when we became separated to recognize one another. That was stupid on our part. The steps were getting closer, and just barely, in the darkness I could pin point Fuery. "It's just Fuery, Havoc." My whole body relaxed as Havoc's hand left the gun. Fuery was finally close enough to see him clearly.

"Damn it, Fuery! I almost shot you." Havoc knew he could't be too angry, since we didn't set up a system. That was going to change though. Fuery looked worn out. He must have been running for a while now.

"Well- if you guys, would've stayed, put..." He was trying so hard to catch his breath.

"Where did you go? I was starting to get concerned." I untwisted the top off my canteen and gave it to him. He took several big gulps before handing it back.

"Havoc asked me to get you this." Fuery handed me muffin. By the looks of it, it was Banana Nut. "But the bakery was all out of this kind, so I had to wait for a fresh batch." I took the muffin from Fuery and felt myself start to smile. Of course Havoc knew I was starving. The whole city could probably hear my stomach growling in protest. I looked back to thank him, but he was already heading down the tunnel again, moving his flashlight side to side.

"Thanks, Fuery, for getting this for me." We both jogged to catch up to Havoc. I took the first bite out of the muffin and I was right. Banana Nut. I walked behind the men as I scarfed down my delicious treat. I picked up my pace so I was walking right in between the two men. "How did you know?" I was asking Havoc.

"How did I know what?" Was he playing dumb, or did he really not know?

"That my favorite was Banana Nut?"

"Easy. You always have one sitting on your desk that you eat for a snack just before lunch." Oh. So I'm predictable. I was hoping for something more...sweet. I guess that's what I get. Still, I couldn't help but feel satisfied.

"Well...thanks." I felt a shiver go done my spine that made me stop in my tracks. I turned around and shown my flashlight down the dark tunnel, half expecting someone to be standing there. I could feel them. They were watching us. Was is Scar?

"What's wrong Lovington?" Havoc was shining his light back on me.

"I don't know. I- I just felt like someone was watching us all of a sudden." I had the sensation to use my alchemy, and as my teacher had taught me, always trust your instincts. I pointed and snap my fingers down the tunnel. I stream of lightning shot right out and continued down the darkness, not once hitting anything. I didn't think it all the way through. In the tunnels, my alchemy was much louder, almost ear shattering.

"What the hell, Lovington!" Havoc wasn't pleased.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"There's no one there. We've been down here all day, your imagination's just getting the better of you." I heard him sigh when I didn't turn back around. "We need to keep moving. We still have a lot of sewer to search." I heard both Fuery and him start moving forward. I also turned back around and started following them. My feeling didn't go away though, and I knew who ever it was, they were going to stay in hidden in the shadows. I wanted out of these damn sewers.

* * *

It was just starting to get to sun set when we ran into Hawkeye's group. Even they came out empty handed. We were all making our way to the surface, and I couldn't be any happier. The smell of fresh air and sunshine never felt so good. I was already dreading tomorrow when we would have to go back down there and continue the search. I was explaining my pajama situation to Hawkeye as we made our way back to the cars.

"I would love to join you, but I really need to get back to head quarters and keep an eye on the Colonel." She was already getting in her car and starting it up.

"Come on Hawkeye! Just once, come with me and be a normal civilian." If she didn't come with me, then one of the men would have to. Last night with Havoc was already embarrassing enough.

"I really am sorry. People should be leaving soon and the Colonel will have less protection. He needs me there." There were times that I was jealous over Mustang's control on Hawkeye. This was one of those times.

"I understand..." I really didn't.

"Maybe-"

"Next time." I finished her sentence for her. It's what she always said when she turned me down. She gave me an apologetic smile and shift the car into gear. I stepped back from the car when she started to drive off. Now the only thing to do is pick which sorry fool would join me at the boutique. Yay.

"Do you still want to stop by the store?" Havoc asked while walking up to me. Breda was right behind him waving goodbye to the other two.

"I have no choice. I don't need anyone else seeing me in...well you know." I changed my answer when I saw Breda paying attention to the conversation.

"We need to get a move on it then." We all made our way to the vehicle. For once I took the back seat, and let the men have the front. I wasn't in the mood to become a Abby Sandwich again.

"So what are we doing?" Breda asked while closing his door.

"Just running some errands." Havoc said looking into the rear view mirror at me.

* * *

"Why are we running errands in a place like this?" We were standing outside my favorite boutique. Breda didn't seem to enjoy the location. I still had enough time to look around and shop with ease.

"I just need to pick up a few things. I'll be quick." I started making my way to the door.

"Hold on princess." Was he ever going to drop that nickname. "We're coming in with you." Well there goes shopping in peace.

"I don't need an escort in the store, Havoc. That's what the employees are for." I'm already going to get hounded by Antonio for going in with my uniform. I didn't need him prying why I have two men following me around.

"Orders are orders, we need eyes on you 24/7."

"I'll just stay and keep an eye out here." Breda suggested. It probably wasn't the best idea, having an obvious military standing outside a store. At the same time, it might help with not having so many question thrown at me by Antonio.

"I just want to get in and get out." My enthusiasm was completely drained out. I opened the door and Havoc followed me in, leaving Breda outside. The second I walk in, I am always over powered by the sensation of relaxation. I think it had to do with how the store smelt. The store was a decent size. All the normal wear was out front, everything I was needing was going to be in the back. "I don't suppose I could convince you to stay here while I run to the back and pick out my new clothes?"

"Nope, you're stuck with me princess." I figured. I took a deep breath in, helping me relax and made my way further into the store.

"Abby! It's been too long!" A very beautiful, feminine man walked out from the "Employee Only" room. "What have you been up to?"

"How long do you have, because it's a long story." Antonio was the main reason why I loved this place so much. He would always make me feel like a million bucks. A part of me knew it was for business, but I also knew it was because he meant every compliment he gave me.

"Well perhaps some other time then. What can I help you with?"

"I am in need of new pajamas."

"Oh? What has happened with the ones you just bought? Has someone been naughty?" Antonio's eyes then slithered their way towards Havoc, giving him a sly smile. I could tell Havoc was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"No! No..." I couldn't help by chuckle. "I have some...company over for the next few days and figured they wouldn't want to see me running around in my nighties."

"I see." Antonio was eyeing Havoc hard.

"I think I'm going to go wait outside with Breda." Havoc was backing out of the store as fast as he could. I tried to warn him.

"Where ever did you find him?" There was lust in Antonio's voice.

"He's part of my team. He and the man outside are escorting me until we're able to capture the State Alchemist killer."

"Oh darling, I heard about that. Awful times. I'm glad to see you have some...handsome protection." He always could get me to laugh. "Come on in the back. I have just the thing for you."

* * *

It took me a bit longer than I wanted, but Antonio was able to get me to buy a few extra things. That is, after he lectured me about my uniform. Like always, I was walking out feeling good about myself. I stepped outside to see Breda was all by himself.

"Where's Havoc?"

"He had to run home real quick. Said he forgot something and that he would meet us at Mustang's." You mean I had to spend time with Breda? Just us? This was going to be...fun. I can't think of one thing that Breda and I have in common. What were we going to do? What were we even going to talk about? I guess I could finish my book that's been sitting on my night stand for the past month. The dishes from this morning were still in the sink. I could even go to bed early and catch up on my sleep. I guess Breda could use the cot, and Havoc could have the chair again, since he seems so content with it.

"Wait, did he take the car?" I was looking up and down the street, trying to locate the vehicle.

"Yah, I told him to. It's not that far of a walk." He had a point. "I can carry that for you." He motioned for my bag.

"Oh no, it's okay. I got it." I smiled at him as if thanking him for the offer.

"Are you sure?" I guess Havoc wasn't the only gentleman. I nodded my head, assuring him that I had it handled. We started walking down the sidewalk with the rest of town who were also starting to make their way home, while the stores started closing one by one.

* * *

It was getting pretty late and Havoc still wasn't back. What could he have forgotten at home that was taking him so long? I closed my book that I was reading in bed, seeing that it was useless with my head turning nonstop about Havoc. Breda was long passed out on the cot. Every once in a while he would mumble something that I couldn't make out, but other than that, he was pretty quiet. I figured now was a good time to change and actually get ready for bed. I scooted out of bed and made my way to the bag that had been resting on my dresser. I went through it really quick and put away all the extra stuff I bought today. Then I made my way to the bathroom with my new pajamas. It was a silk shirt that had matching shorts. They were still confining but better than pants. Not as hot. Something I would have to get use to. I kept praying that we would catch Scar soon, so I can go back to my nighties. I came back out from the bathroom with still no sign from Havoc. Tonight wasn't all that bad. I actually found something to talk about with Breda. It even ended with him challenging me to a match on the wrestling mat in the military gym, next time we're in there. Which would probably be soon. I should try to bulk up, after seeing what Scar was capable of.

Just then I heard something. It was...music? A guitar playing? I opened my bedroom door to hear that the music was coming from downstairs. Could it be Havoc? I don't remember hearing anyone coming through the front door. I slowly made my way down the stairs and peeked around the corner to see him sitting in the living room chair, strumming a song on his guitar. He only turned on the one light stand that was right by the chair he was in. It gave the room a nice glow. He looked so peaceful and the piece he was playing was soothing. He had a lite cigarette in mouth as he played. I couldn't move from my spot. I was memorized. I had no idea he could play. Just another thing I was learning about him, another way for me to fall for him. He stopped in mid strum and looked right at me. I almost jumped and hid around the corner. Instead, I just stood there, frozen, looking right back at him.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" His voice was soft. I noticed for the first time that he was wearing his normal cloths. He had changed out of his uniform.

"No. I was actually up waiting for you. Where have you been?" My voice was matching his softness.

"I just got caught up in something. Sorry, I didn't think you'd wait up." He looked back down to his guitar, giving it a gentle strum. I finally stepped around the corner, taking a few steps towards him. "Where's Breda?" He looked back at me. Did he always look like this at the end of the day? Did he always have that look in his eyes? Content.

"He's upstairs sleeping. He stole your cot." I gave a small chuckle.

"I guess I'll have to manage with the chair again." He went back to playing his song quietly. Now would be the time I turn around and said good night, but I wasn't done yet. I wanted to keep listening.

"When did you learn?" I gestured towards the guitar.

"My old man taught me when I was 11. I picked it up pretty quick but it just became a hobby I do every now and then."

"Is this what you went home for?" He didn't answer, just kept strumming his guitar. He seemed bothered by my question. I guess that was my cue to go. "If you're hungry, I put a plate for you in the fridge." Still no response. Did I say something wrong? "Don't stay up too late." I made my way back up the stairs and tucked myself in bed. I could still hear the quiet hum of his guitar as I slowly drifted to sleep. ~

 **End of Chapter 5!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6: Shower

**VI**

~ I was in the headquarter's shower room trying to quickly take a hot shower before I was needed back at the office. The showers here were always better than the one I had at home. It was probably the water pressure, or the unlimited amount of hot water. I always took twice as long in head quarter's than mine. I let out a loud moan from exhaustion as the steaming water beat on my bare back. Colonel has been working us like dogs. Just because they called us 'dog's of the military' doesn't mean he had to take it literally. My mind had started wondering to last night. It still bothered me that Havoc was acting weird. I wanted to ask, but felt I would be butting into something. Perhaps it was best to see if it panned out. Even if I did do something wrong, he couldn't stay mad at me forever. Maybe I'll bake him cookies?

Just then I heard the shower room door close. I silently sighed to myself in disappointment. I always liked being alone in the shower room. It always seemed awkward having someone else in another stall, also taking a shower. Plus, it was just another person taking up the warm water. I was startled when I heard my own personal door being opened. I immediately grabbed the top and attempted to keep it closed.

"Occupied." I never lock my door. Normally I never had to worry about it because I was by myself, but even if I wasn't, you could plainly see my feet. Granted I was short enough that my head didn't go over the top. The doors here are a bit taller than the ones in Central. "Occupied!" I couldn't believe I was actually struggling with keeping the door shut. I lost my grip and the door swung right open. I covered myself up as best I could. The person who I was battling quickly came in and locked the door. His back was facing me for the longest time. My heart was racing. "Havoc?" He looked over his shoulder at me, as if debating what to do. What was he going to do? Better question, what was I going to do? Should I scream, or maybe try to force him out? He locked the door, so it wasn't like I was going to be able to kick him out. At least not with a good fight, and I was naked. I became so nervous that my body had started shaking. I couldn't do anything. His eyes were so serious. He turned around and started walking towards me, backing me up against the shower wall. His hands were placed on the wall, caging me in, with his head lowering towards mine, getting wet in the shower water. "Havoc?" There was panic in my voice.

He said nothing but brought his index finger up against my lips, telling me not to make anymore noise. My heart felt like it could explode any second. I could easily take him down in one move, and escape from the shower, demanding answers; but I wanted this. He knew I wanted this. My chest was rising up and down dramatically. I was breathing way too fast as his lips just hovered over mine. What was he waiting for?

"Havo-" He finally finished the distance and shut me up with his lips. My whole body went numb. It was the best feeling I could imagine. I brought my arms down from my chest and wrapped them around his neck. He deepened the kiss before he broke it. I looked up at him as he starred down at me. I had a feeling my eyes were mirroring his. They were filled with lust. He wanted more, I wanted more. This time I pulled him in for the kiss, as he pulled me closer to his body. My hands started to fumble at his now wet uniform top. It wasn't fair that I was the only one naked. I pulled his under shirt off exposing his chest. He was well toned. The many fantasies I had of it were pretty damn close. He pulled me back into him, pushing me up against the wall. His hands started exploring as much of my body that he could reach, pausing occasionally in certain spots, making my breath tremble. His hands felt so rough, yet gentle, safe and secure. It was getting harder to keep my moaning down. Someone was defiantly going to come in to see what was going on. We would need to hurry.

 _"Abby..." I moaned again as he said my name._ _"Abby?" Wait...that isn't Havoc's voice? I started looking over Havoc's shoulder, trying to spot who had entered the room. Breda was now standing there, watching us. What was going on? How did Breda get here? "Abby wake up!"_

I shot straight up in bed, my body was covered in sweat. I was trying hard to focus on something. I woke up too suddenly, I didn't know where I was. I seemed to be panting heavily as well.

"What's going on?" Things were starting to clear up. I could see Breda at the foot of my bed blushing like a mad man.

"Well..." He hesitated for a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain what had happened while glancing over to the side as if something was there.

"You were having one hell of a dream." I almost jumped out of bed from fright when I heard Havoc's voice. He was sitting on the other side of my bed, also starring at me in amazement.

"What are you talking about?" It was all a dream. It was all coming back to me. It felt so real.

"You were moaning almost nonstop. Must have been a good one." Havoc gave me a cocky smile, while walking to the other side of Breda. I just kept starring in confusion, trying to decipher reality from the dream. I was becoming so angry. I wanted to kick and scream so badly. It was such a good dream!

"That wasn't the only thing you were doing. You were also saying-" Breda was cut off by Havoc's elbow being rammed into his gut. Havoc seemed a bit bothered. My eyebrow raised only asking the obvious question.

"You were just mumbling. We couldn't make out anything from all the moaning." He was now avoiding eye contact with me, and I swear he had a slight blush. Somehow, I didn't believe it. "You should probably take a shower. I'll tell the Colonel we'll be running late." Oh yah, let's go take a shower when that dream is still fresh in my head... Wait. Late? I glanced at my alarm clock. It was almost 1000 hours! I really needed to punched something.

"Crap! You guys! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" I quickly jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself. Ow!" I heard something hard hit Breda after his snide remark. I wasn't going to hear the end of this. I can't believe this is happening. There's no way I can look at Havoc the same. I should probably ask Mustang to take him off as my bodyguard, but I'm sure he would ask why. I guess the next best thing to do is to shove that dream as far back into my head as possible. That is...if it was possible.

* * *

I didn't take a shower. I felt bad enough being so late, and I didn't know what the Colonel had in store for us today. I was marching as quickly as I could down the hallways of head quarters, trying to loose Havoc. There was so much tension in the car. I didn't look away from the window once, and I couldn't help but feel that Breda was trying so hard not to say anything. I'm so going to the gym today. I need to get rid of this tension somehow. I rounded the last corner and marched the rest of the length to Mustang's office.

"Good morning everyone!" That sounded a bit too chippy. I need to calm down before Hawkeye starts catching on.

"Well you're in an unusual good mood. Did something happen?" That was quick. Then again, it is Riza Hawkeye. She sees everything.

"What are you talking about? I'm always in a good mood." I was trying to play it off, but I already knew it was a failing effort.

"Not this early in the morning. Normally the only sound we get out of you is a groan every now and then until lunch." Falman decided to chime in.

"I guess my sleeping in put me in a good mood, alright? Nothing happened. What gave you the idea that something happened?"

"Something happened alright." Breda said just walking into the room, with Havoc right behind.

"SHUT UP BREDA!" I think I grew fangs in that instant. Everyone in the room backed away, except Hawkeye. She only gave me a curious look, meaning she wasn't done asking questions.

"It's about time you guys got here. What were you doing?" Mustang stepped out of his personal office, seeming annoyed.

"I forgot to set my alarm last night, Colonel. I over slept." I stood up straight and gave him a salute wholeheartedly. His glare went from me to the other two men who were with me.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Sir!" I rested my arm back to my side taking in a deep breath.

"So Colonel, are we going back down in the sewers?" Fuery asked. I could tell he was hoping for a no. I didn't blame him. After yesterday I never wanted to go back down in those tunnels ever again. I know there was something down there, something dangerous, just watching us. Like we were helpless pray. I got the shivers just thinking about it.

"Some of you will, I need the rest of you to stay here and catch me up on my paperwork. After this Scar incident, it's done nothing but grown." Mustang seemed so bothered by this fact. I didn't care how much paperwork needed done, I just didn't want to go back in those tunnels.

"Breda, Havoc, you'll be going back in an attempt to retrieve Scar. Everyone else, get to work." Both my bodyguards were leaving my side. I couldn't feel more relieved! Like I could finally breath for the first time. I sat down at my desk and started sorting out my pile. Oh blissful paperwork, how I've missed you!

* * *

I hate paperwork! It was nothing but repetition, and after the first hour my hand always starts to cramp. It never fails. I got a lot done though. It was getting late in the afternoon and the only break I had was lunch. I should head to the gym before someone locks it up. I stretched before standing up from my desk.

"Where are you going?" Fuery glanced up at me as I started walking out the door.

"I was going to hit the gym for a while. Get some frustration out of my system." I punched the air a couple of times, psyching myself up.

"And what exactly are you frustrated about?" Hawkeye asked, looking up for the first time since this morning. Even during lunch she would alter taking a bite and writing.

"What? Frustration? Did I say that? I just meant, that I want to get my blood pumping into my brain again before it goes dead." My nervous chuckling wasn't making the situation better. "I'll be back shortly." I quickly closed the door and made my way to the gym before anyone else could ask another question.

* * *

For once there wasn't a hoard of people in the gym. Then again, it was getting pretty late and everyone was starting to go home. There were a few other men lifting the dumbbells while looking at themselves in the mirror. I was working on my legs with some squats, which also did amazing things to my butt. I was just about done with my reps and was debating to myself what I should do next. It was either the bench press or a lap around the building. I was leaning more towards the laps. The bench press was right next to the dumbbells and I didn't really want to mingle today; especially when Ellis was there. Ellis was a pure beef cake. All brawn and so little brain. I had a bad encounter with him back in the Military Academy. We both tried our best to keep our distance with each other.

"Hey Lovington!" I looked over at the gym door. Breda, Havoc, and even Fuery were changed in their gym clothes, heading my way. I actually felt a bit relieved. Seeing them took some of the awkwardness out of the air. "Were you trying to get out of our match?" I had forgotten about the argument Breda and I had last night during dinner. He was convinced that I couldn't last one minute in a wrestling match with him. I, of course, begged to differ.

"Of course not, I was just getting warmed up." Now I don't have to do the lap around the building! Havoc walked right over to the dumbbells, which Ellis then put his down and walked out the gym. He didn't even bother putting his equipment away. It still made me laugh at how uncomfortable Ellis would get around Havoc. It only made the rumors that floated the Academy's hallways more plausible. Fuery made his way to the bench press and starting putting on his weights. Breda was helping me put away my weights from my squats, while also going through the terms of our match.

"How about anything goes?" Keeping it easy, and dirty. Just the way I like it.

"Even alchemy?" I couldn't help but hope he'd say yes.

"No! I don't need another hospital bill." I started laughing remembering that time I had accidentally zapped Breda. He did learn his lesson and never snuck up behind me ever again.

"Alright, fair enough. I'm still gonna kick your ass though." I gave him one of my cocky grins. I only lost a fight once, and I was going to keep it that way. We made our way to the wrestling mat, and I let Breda get in a good couple of stretches. Didn't need him losing and making an excuse that he 'pulled a muscle'. "You about ready over there?" I was feeling pumped. I couldn't help but mock him just a little.

"Just so we're clear, I'm not gonna go easy on you just because you're a woman."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." My limbs were twitching with excitement. I haven't had a good brawl in a long time. I was hoping Breda would last. He was standing there now, waiting. I guess he wanted me to make the first move. Might as well give him what he wants. I darted right towards him, sending the first blow. He let me hit him, but I had a feeling he wasn't expecting me to hit the way I did. My fist connected right under his jaw, hitting that sweet, instant K.O. spot. Breda went down hard. He was out cold. I knelt by him, trying to get a response. "Hey, Breda, are you alright? Hey!" Everyone else in the gym ran over and were now hovering over Breda. Some were even snickering. I wanted to punch them out cold and see if they still wanted to laugh. I was finally able to get Breda to respond, he was unsettled. Two men helped him up, and carried him out of the gym. My guilt was eating me up, mainly because I felt so disappointed. I was really hoping for a decent fight.

"You okay, Abby?" Fuery was kneeling down with me now, patting my shoulder.

"Yah...I'm a horrible person."

"No you're not. It was an accident-"

"No Fuery. I mean...I feel disappointed that the fight didn't last longer. I might have given my team mate a concussion, and I'm feeling disappointed that he didn't last thirty seconds. How awful is that?" Fuery seemed shocked by my response. He didn't know what to say. He even stopped patting my shoulder. I knew it. I am horrible.

"If you want a longer fight, I'll fight you?" I glanced up at Havoc who was now walking to the other side of the mat. Was he being serious? I couldn't tell.

"Oh boy." Fuery wasn't feeling comfortable about this arrangement. I stood up, along with Fuery and took my place on the mat. "Guys, I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, one of our men is already in the infirmary."

"Same rules go, and no taking it easy."

"Lovington, I'm not gonna lay one blow on you." That annoyed me a bit.

"Then why are we doing-"

"But I will take you down and make you say Uncle." Who does he think he is? Claiming he won't hit me but he'll be able to take me down. My fist was itching to connect with something again. We both stood there, glaring, for several minutes. I decided to make the first move again, but this time I swept to take his legs out. Something he didn't expect. He came crashing down, but tumbled back on his feet in one smooth move. I didn't let up. I kept coming at him. Punch after punch, kick after kick. He was doing his best with blocking, every once in a while I'd get a good hit. He would try every so often to grab my arm or my leg and within time he would. I was starting to get tired, and becoming slow. I put my all in this next punch, aiming for his face. He dodged it in time, which caused my leg to give out and I became unbalanced. He took this opportunity and fully grabbed my arm for the first time, bringing me down to the ground. He had pinned me just perfectly. I couldn't move, but that doesn't mean I didn't try. I was struggling so hard to try and get loose.

"Looks like I got you, Lovington." He said in between breaths. He was a fool if he thought I was going to say Uncle. "Just say it, and we can all go home." He was a fool. I felt my anger start to bubble the more I struggled. I even considered bringing my knee up into his genitals, but that would be too dirty, even for me. I was becoming too tired to even lift my head anymore. I hated it, but I had to face the fact. I lost. "Just say it." He was enjoying his victory. It only made me even more angry, I even started to tear up. There were so many things that I loved about being a woman, this thing, was not one of them. I hated that when I was overcome with emotion, the first thing I do is cry. Hormones are so stupid!

"Uncle." It came out only as a whisper. I was trying so hard to keep my tears in.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear-"

"I said Uncle, you jerk!" I think that's when Havoc finally noticed who emotional I had become. He let go of my wrist and lifted himself off my body. There was regret in his eyes. I didn't want this. I didn't want him to feel bad about winning. I stood up and quickly exited the gym, feeling everyone's eyes on me. I hated myself. After I cool down, I need to go and apologize.

I stopped running when I reached Colonel Mustang's door. I hesitated going in, sticking my nose down my shirt. I wasn't the best smelling Lieutenant, and I needed to change back into my uniform. I'll need to make my shower quick. I don't need the Colonel getting more upset with me than he already is. I started to make my way back down the hall, towards the shower rooms. Luckily for me, my uniform was folded nice and safe in one of the shower room lockers. I turned the corner that had a darker hallway. It was the quickest way to the shower room.

It hit me so suddenly that I almost stopped in my tracks. Just like down in the sewers. That feeling that someone was watching me. My whole body felt tight, like it was hard to keep walking. It felt like it was breathing right down my neck, like death. My legs started moving faster. I knew it wasn't my imagination, but that only made it worse. I quickly rounded the next corner and frantically went into the shower room. I glanced behind me, just to confirm that it wasn't anything, but I saw it. I know I saw it. A shadow. A shadow that didn't belong to a human. I shook my head a couple of times, trying to convince myself that I was seeing things. I made my way to the shower stall and started the water. While the water was heating up, I grabbed one of the personal wicker baskets for my dirty gym cloths and undressed. I put my hair up in a high bun, hoping to keep most of it dry. I was just wanting a quick wash down. I'd take a full shower when I got home. I stepped back into the stall and locked the door behind me. After this morning's dream, and what I just saw, I wasn't going to take any chances. The water felt so good. If only my shower at home could get this hot. I would probably never leave it. I jumped slightly when I heard the shower room door open and close.

"Man, what the hell is her problem? I was just having a little fun. I need a hot shower..." I couldn't believe it. I quickly unlocked my personal door and stuck my head out, to confirm that my ears weren't deceiving me.

"Havoc! What the hell are you doing? This is the girls shower room!" He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard my voice. He was using the mirror he was standing in front of to look at me. He just kept starring at me before he finally turned around. I felt cautious.

"Uh...Lovington?"

"Yah?" Why was he just standing there? If he gets caught in here, we'll both probably get in trouble.

"This is the men's shower room." He said it so calmly.

"Ha ha. I wouldn't make the mistake and come into the men's shower room, Havoc. I'm not an idiot." Just then the door opened again, and I quickly stuck my head back in my stall and stood as close to the wall as I could, hoping my feet would be hidden. I somehow managed to keep my hair from touching the water. Brilliant! He is spotted. It was going to be a long lecture from Mustang.

"Lieutenant Haovc, what are you doing in here?" That was General Larson. I was in the men's shower room. I was instantly horrified by the mistake I had made. I must have been so frantic about that...thing that was following me, I actually entered the wrong room. The woman's shower room was just a couple more meters away. I'll just wait for the General to exit, have a good laugh with Havoc and leave.

"I was just going to take a shower, sir."

"I see and what are you doing out here?"

"Just waiting for the water to warm up, sir." General Larson was one of the strictest men in the Eastern Quarters. You didn't so much take a bathroom break without him allowing you to.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Your shower seems hot enough. Do you plan on wasting our water?" Wait...did he think that Havoc's shower was...Oh no! Havoc can wait him out. Just wait for him to leave and then I can sneak out. There was a moment of silence before Havoc spoke up.

"Yes...yes sir!" No way! He wasn't actually going to...

"What's with the extra set of clothes, Lieutenant?" General Larson must be referring to my cloths that are just sitting out there, in the plain open, for everyone to see. I thought it was the woman's room!

"Those are just my spare cloths, sir. I plan on changing into them later, sir." Why was General Larson still here? Doesn't he have anything better to do than to torture Havoc and I? I heard my door slowly open and a flash of my dream went through my mind. Havoc and I locked eyes for a moment before he closed them shut. I panicked and quickly turned around, facing the shower wall. In all my years, I never had one of my dreams come true. Like I was a psychic! I looked behind my shoulder to see Havoc trying to feel his way towards the wall, with his eyes still closed. Okay, so it wasn't exactly like my dream, but who would have ever thought that this would happen? I tried my best to lean in closer to the wall when Havoc reached the water. He placed both his hands on either side of me, locking me in place...like my dream. I could hear my heart thumping in my ears, he was so close. Not as close as in my dream, but he was certainly more...naked.

"Why didn't you just wait him out?" I whispered as quietly as I could.

"He's going to be in here for awhile." Havoc's whisper was a bit harsh. I could tell he was not happy.

"What?" What could he possibly be doing that would take 'a while'? I didn't hear any other shower come on.

"He's trimming his facial hair." Havoc said it like it was the most obvious answer. Of course the General decided to trim his facial hair now. He couldn't of possibly waited another 15 minutes for me to get my butt into the correct shower room? Then again, I'd probably still be arguing with Havoc that I made no mistake by coming into the Men's room. What more humiliation could I put myself through today?

We both just stood there in silence as General Larson sang an old military marching chant, with passion. The position I was in was getting a bit uncomfortable. I was practically squatting trying to keep the water away from my hair. I gave a shy glimpse at Havoc's face to see if his eyes were still closed. Perfect. I kept looking at his face, he seemed so troubled. Of course he was troubled. Look at the predicament I got him in. As quietly and graceful as I could, I fully turned my body towards him, his eyes remained closed. I would stay like this just for a bit, giving my legs a quick break. I couldn't help myself, my thoughts were going back to my dream, and all I wanted to do was touch him. I slowly started lifting my hands towards his face, I was going to cup it just like he did mine, in my dream. Just when my finger tips glazed over his cheek, his eyes popped open. We stood there for moment, looking into each other's eyes. I quickly turned back around, once again humiliated. He probably even got a good glance at me. Damn it! This day sucks! We continued to stand there motionless for just a few more minutes when finally I heard the General start making his way to the shower room door.

"Don't stay in there any longer, Lieutenant. Save some water for the rest of us." He said before exiting the room. Not even a second passed and I heard our shower door swing shut. I looked behind me and saw that Havoc was gone. I slowly turned off the shower, not knowing how to feel.

"Havoc?" No response. "I need a towel." A moment later he flung a towel over the door. I took it after thanking him. He must be mad. I don't blame him. I wrapped the towel around me and opened the shower door. Havoc was gathering his uniform from the locker he had chosen, with a towel wrapped around his waist. I was going to have to change back into my dirty gym cloths, and figure out a way to sneak out. First thing though, I need to apologize. Granted I didn't do this on purpose, but I was also needing to apologize for earlier. I couldn't find the words that were needed. I just stood there with his back facing me.

"Could you go back into the stall. I need to change." I don't think he's ever talked to me this way. He sounded so distant. I didn't know what to do. Do I try to make things better or... I turned back around and started heading back to the stall. I was just opening the stall door when someone came busting into the shower room.

"Havoc, I need you in my office right away-" Mustang was standing there now. His eyes had fixed on me, just standing there, in nothing but a towel. While Havoc was in the same condition. There was no question to what was going on. We were both still wet from the shower. Both Havoc and I just stood there, horrified. Mustang stepped further into the room, with the door shutting behind him. I was frozen in fear, mainly for Havoc's sake. "Not that I need a full detail explanation, but would one of you mind telling me...what's going on here?!" Mustang's fingers twitched as they went into their killing pose. Havoc's face went pale, I wouldn't even doubt if mine did too. I needed to speak up, and fast.

"Nothing happened Colonel!" I started to walk towards him. He gave me one nasty look, as if telling me he didn't believe a word. "I can explain, it's just...I think it would be best if we all discussed this in your office." Give Mustang some time to calm down, and give me a chance to change. Mustang's fingers relaxed and he started to storm out of the room. "Colonel!" I still needed him. He looked back at me, still giving me that nasty look. "I am going to need some help...sneaking out of here." I know I was asking a lot, but there was no way I was going to be able to just sneak out of the men's shower room and into the woman's.

"Get dressed and meet me outside." He continued out the door, once again leaving Havoc and I alone, in the awkward silence. I grabbed my wicker basket and brought it with me in the shower stall to change. It wasn't going to be pleasant changing back into these sweaty gym cloths, but I didn't need to keep Mustang waiting. Maybe I could convince him to let Havoc off the hook and save the lecture for me? It was worth a try.

* * *

It seemed forever before Mustang finally stopped shouting and calmed down. I wasn't able to convince him to let Havoc go. As a matter of fact, I wasn't able to get a word in except when I explained what happened. I did tweak the truth though. I didn't need to tell Mustang that I made such a rookie mistake because I was being paranoid. Not when I had no proof. I just went on the path of 'After my hard work out, I was both mentally and physically tired and just wasn't paying attention to what I was doing.' That's when the lecture began. Havoc and I just sat there, taking all of it.

"What all did you see?" Mustang's icy eyes were glued on Havoc now. It caught Havoc off guard. I guess he wasn't expecting a pop quiz.

"No-nothing, sir!" He couldn't stop himself from blushing. He must have caught a glimpse. Mustang's glare somehow went colder.

"Whatever it is you saw, forget it. That's an order!" Poor Havoc. The longer this lecture dragged out, the more my guilt built. "And what about you?" Now his gaze was on me, even Havoc's, waiting for my answer. I suddenly felt nervous, remembering what I saw. No major...body parts, but his chest was burned in my mind. My dream had nothing on the real thing.

"Just his-just his chest, sir. Nothing else." For some reason my eyes focused on Hawkeye who was standing off to the side of Mustang.

"Same goes to you, Lovington. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!" I wanted to hide. In a hole. A deep hole. Until I grow old and no one would ever recognize me from all the wrinkles. Thank God this day was almost over.

"Oh yah. Excuse me, Colonel Mustang, I was wondering if you heard about Breda?"

"Yes. Knocked him out cold, huh?" That was the first time Mustang even gave us a hint of a smile. A sign that the worse was behind us. "He's doing just fine. They gave him some pain medication and sent him home. He has the night off." I felt a little better. Sounds like I didn't give him a concussion. I guess it's just going to be Havoc and I tonight, but that just means it'll be a night of awkward silence. It would be a good time to finally apologize and maybe even ask what his issue is. He's been acting funny the past couple of days. "Which then bring up the next matter. Lovington, you're dismissed. I need to talk to Havoc alone." That made me nervous. I looked to my side, where Havoc was sitting. He just kept looking straight forward. I couldn't help but feel defeated in some way. I stood up with a soft sigh, made my salute and left the room, shutting the door behind me. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 6!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7: Emily

**Hey all! So in this chapter, there's going to be some flash back type stuff mixed in with current events. The flash backs will be left on Italic, so you can tell the difference. Hopefully I made it easy for you to tell what was what. If not, just let me know and I'll try to fix it! HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

 **VII**

"Guys...I'm worried about Abby." I heard Fuery whisper ever so slightly to the others. I had just entered the office and with an over exasperated sigh, laid my head down on my desk. Not only did I barely get any sleep, but I was running errands all day. Everyone in headquarters was shouting orders left and right. Lieutenant Lovington do this! Lieutenant Lovington do that! 2nd Lieutenant Lovington, why are you sulking in the corner? I hurried as quickly as possible back to Mustang's office before anyone else could spew more demands. If I hear someone call my name one more time, I'll have to change it and move to the East. I remained lifeless at my desk as Fuery, Breda and Falman continued to discuss my welfare. Hawkeye and Havoc were in Mustang's personal office, doing God knows what. Havoc hadn't returned last night. When I awoke this morning all of his things were gone. It left a hole of guilt in my stomach. Mustang must of fired him from being my bodyguard. I was wanting to talk to both of them about it, but it seemed they were avoiding me, especially Havoc. He didn't even greet me when I arrived earlier this morning. Even if I was able to get Havoc's attention, what would I say? I unwillingly made a miserable groan as my thoughts drowned me.

Someone came barging into the room and headed straight for Mustang's personal door. I lifted my head to see what was going on better.

"Reporting in, sir! We've just received word of an explosion occurring on the Marl River." The soldier stayed at attention as everyone in the room was quickly gathering their things. Mustang was the first one out, followed by Hawkeye as she was trying to gather his coat in her arms. He would be so lost without her. I quickly stood up and hustled out the door myself with everyone else in front of me. Scar really was putting everything in chaos. Just another reason why I wanted him caught. The sooner we do it, the sooner we can all rest!

* * *

We were now at the scene of the explosion. It had happened right by the Marl Bridge, the wall as completely dismantled and even the building right above it was destroyed. Everyone was murmuring about the cause of the wreckage as Mustang and his team were more down by the water, trying to find any hint of Scar. Hawkeye had found some clothing, looked like a jacket, in the water.

"There's no mistaking it. This was defiantly Scar's jacket." I couldn't help but feel a slight sliver of hope. After all the searching we had done in the sewers, we finally found some evidence of his existence.

"Have you found the body?" Why was he asking me? I've been by his side the whole time, he should know I haven't found anything.

"Not yet, but we're still searching." I hadn't realized Havoc was now standing behind me. He seemed troubled that Scar's body wasn't found.

"Either way, he can't be in good shape after losing this much blood." Hawkeye was still examining the jacket.

"Yah...but we do this by the book. We need to find hard proof that he's dead. Alright, Lieutenant Havoc."

"Yes sir?"

"You and your men will work day and night to clear out this debris. I want his body found. Don't take so much as a coffee break until that's done, do you understand?" Sheesh. Tonight was going to be rough.

"Come on Colonel, can you cut us some slack? At this rate, you're gonna work us all to death."

"Shut up! I don't get to relax until I've seen his body and that means you don't get to either." I can understand where both of them were coming from. The past couple of days have been tough, but I wanted to catch Scar just as much as the next guy.

"I guess we'll get to work then." Havoc turned around and started shouting orders at all available personnel. Everyone broke off into groups, working on different ends of the rubble. Things would go much faster if I had some chalk. Just do a couple of hand claps, transmute some concrete and we'd have our answer in just an hour. The only problem is that I didn't have chalk...I didn't even know where to buy some. Maybe a grocery store?

"Hey Fuery!" I stopped him when he was running past me. "Do you know where to find some chalk?" He thought about it for a moment.

"Yah, I have an idea. Why? Do you need some?"

"I think things would go a lot faster if I was able to transmute this mess...but I don't have the proper circle. I would need to create it with chalk."

"Oh, I see!"

"I don't suppose I could convince you to run and get me some, while I stay and help out?" I felt sort of bad. Fuery always seemed to be doing the running around for all of us. He never complained about it, but I always tried not to ask.

"No problem! I'll be back in a jiffy!" He started running back up the stairs to the upper part of town. I walked over to a group that was having a bit of difficulty lifting a rather large piece. I made room for myself and started lifting with them. It was pretty heavy, but with my help we were able to move it to the side so we could continue with the smaller pieces. I hoped Fuery would be as quick as he thinks. I didn't want to do a whole lot of lifting.

* * *

By the time Fuery returned with a whole pack of chalk, we had moved several big pieces and a couple of piles of medium sized rocks. It was almost pointless for the chalk, but it would give everyone a nice break.

"Sorry, the store was a bit further than I thought." I felt so bad seeing Fuery bent over, trying to catch his breath.

"Thank you, for getting this for me Fuery, and for making it quick." I took the pack from him as he slide down the wall, trying to slow his breathing. I went back to the rubble and started marking all the rocks I wanted to transmute with a circle. Everyone else was taking a break, something they all deserved. When I was done with all the circles, I started transmuting each one, one by one. It took me several minutes, but I was finally able to get to an opening.

When the light from my last transmutation subsided, I was horrified by what I saw. I didn't have a lot of time, but I was able to move out of the way to throw up.

"Abby?!" Fuery was at my side in an instant. "What's wrong?" I couldn't speak. It was too much for me to process. Fuery leaned back to look inside the opening, and was also shocked to see them. Several men lay dead, but the part that had me wrenching, was their bodies. They were so decomposed, I never smelt anything so putrid. How did they get down there? Were they just more victims from Scar?

"Gather the bodies and bring them outside! I need sheets ready. We don't need civilians seeing this." Havoc started shouting orders again. I never felt so weak in my life. I was a soldier. A soldier who has never seen death. I was beginning to question my state title. _There's a possibility that you'll need to strike to kill. I know you've never done anything like that, and I need to be able to count on you._ Mustang's words started to haunt me. "Go home Lovington. You've done enough." His words. They seemed so patient but they only made me feel worse. Why were they all being so kind with me? They should be disgusted by my weakness. I stood up, feeling nothing but defeat, and started walking back to the office.

* * *

I had informed the Colonel of our finding before he had sent me home with an escort to drive me. With how things were going with Scar, I no longer needed 24/7 surveillance. He had reminded me about the military's annual ball and gave me my ticket. I had completely forgotten about it with all that's been going on. I was somewhat surprised that it was still happening. The Military Ball happened once a year and only high ranking officers were able to attend. It was something that only the Eastern Headquarters held, but other high rankers from different headquarters came for the festivity. Even the Fuhrer graced us with his presence one year. Mustang was always able to score extra tickets and gave them to Havoc and I. I always went with Fuery, but this year...I wasn't sure anymore. I always hoped Havoc would ask me one year, but I was starting to figure out that it probably won't happen.

I now lay in bed, looking at my shiny gold trimmed ticket, and pitying myself. Something I never do. What's worse is I was starting to get mad at feeling sorry for myself. It only made me feel more pathetic. I brought myself out of bed and slapped my face a few times, trying to snap myself out of this funk. It wasn't doing me any good just sitting here. I needed to get out. I hopped right off my bed, and did a quick change into some normal cloths. I figured I would go visit Breda, since I was the reason he had to take today off. The hospital took some precautions and ordered him to stay in. Maybe I'll buy a cake, or maybe some cookies as an apology. What was Breda's favorite snack? Did he even like sweets? I ran downstairs and slipped on my work boots, since they were right in front of the door, and locked the door behind as I continued to talk to myself as to what to bring to Breda's.

* * *

The trip to Breda's was good. I decided to get him a cake, and asked the baker to put a message, 'Sorry I beat you up', on it. He didn't want to laugh, but really couldn't help it. I didn't stay too long because he was a bit tired, but he said he would be back to work tomorrow. I was now on my way to Marl Bridge to check on how the progress was going. They were still pulling bodies out of the tunnels. Just how many people has Scar killed? Did he even kill these men? I had noticed that Havoc wasn't around anymore. When I asked Fuery, he didn't seem too happy that Havoc had up and left.

"He left about an hour ago. Said he had some business to attend to."

"Did he happen to mention what kind of business?"

"No, but he seemed to be in a hurry." I was planning on trying to talk to Havoc, about everything that's happened the past few days. Mainly to apologize about yesterday. After wishing good luck to Fuery I decided to stop by Havoc's place and see if he was still home. He didn't live that far away from Mustang's, so walking home in the dark wouldn't be that much of a problem. He lived on a more busy street, that had lots of shops on it. Some vendors where trying to bring in customers to buy their products. Things would be closing pretty quickly. The sun had just set, but there was still a soft glow coming from the sky. The street lamps were just starting to come on when I reached Havoc's. He lived in a decent apartment building. I had been over once with everyone else, when we were all helping him move in. It had been a rough time, especially when trying to fit his couch through the door. He had thanked us by treating us to the bar, and we didn't come cheap. I climbed the two flights of stairs and went down the hallway to the door I remembered him being in. I did a cute rhythm knock and rocked on the soles of my feet. It was kinda weird, I didn't feel nervous in the slightest. The door opened a bit slowly, but I was surprised to see a cute woman on the other side. She had beautiful golden hair that went down to her shoulders. She was a few inches shorter than me, which only made it that more adorable when her ocean blue eyes looked up at me.

"Hello, can I help you?" She seemed uneasy by my starring. I glanced away feeling slightly embarrassed. I must have confused the hallway and picked the wrong door. Was I even on the right floor?

"I'm sorry! I must be at the wrong apartment." I couldn't help but laugh at my stupidity.

"Oh well, who are you looking for? I'm quite familiar with this floor." She's so cute! I wonder how old she was?

"Um, Havoc, Jean Havoc?"

"Oh! No you have the right place." She gave me a small smile. What? I was a bit confused. "He's in the shower now, but I'll tell him you're here to see him. What was your name?" She stepped to the side to let me in, but I just stood there, still trying to process everything.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit confused. Are you his...sister?" The woman started to laugh playfully, like I just said the funniest thing she ever heard. I knew the answer wasn't going to be good.

"No." She made a few more giggles. "Everyone seems to think that, I guess we do have some similar features. I'm his girlfriend, Emily." I don't know what happened. I couldn't explain this sudden feeling that came over me. Part of me wanted to scream and demand answers. The other, just wanted to run back down the hall. "And what was your name?"

"Uh..." I could feel them coming. I had to get out of here before I started crying in front of this stranger. It would only cause Havoc trouble. "I'm just a fellow soldier. I work with Havoc and I sort of got him in trouble the other." I started laughing uncontrollably, trying to keep the tears back. "I just wanted to come over to apologize, but I see his busy..." I couldn't finish the sentence. They were coming and I couldn't stop them anymore.

"Oh well, let me get him-"

"No!" I startled her when I shouted. I quickly put my head down, hoping she wouldn't see the water in my eyes. "No. I'll see him tomorrow, and apologize then." I had to move and I had to move now! "Sorry." That's all I said before darting down the hall and down the stairs. I didn't even slow down when I got to the front door. I busted right out and continued to run down the street. The tears just kept coming, there was no stopping them.

"Abby!" It sounded like Havoc's voice. "Abby wait!" I didn't wait. I didn't even look to see where he was. I accidentally ran into someone standing on the sidewalk, and we both went down. It was an older woman, who was not pleased in the slightest

"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." I kept apologizing as she was helped up by, what I assumed, her husband. People extended their hands to help me, but I just ignored them. I wanted to stay here on the ground. I felt hidden. I was trying so hard to stop the tears, but they wouldn't stop so long as I felt like this. It was like someone was pressing on my heart and lungs.

"Abby?" This was a different voice, but still familiar. I looked up to see Earl stand just a few feet away. He looked even more concerned when he saw my face. "Abby, what's wrong? What happened?" He started to walk to me, but I beat him to the punch. I don't know why, but I got up and ran into his arms. I stood there and let him hold me as I cried, like Havoc did for me when Nina died. "It's okay." He started to pet my head, trying to get me to calm down. "Let's go to the bar and get you inside." He started to guide me by the hand as I continued to sniffle all the way to the bar.

* * *

It only took a drink and a half before I finally calmed down. Now I was playing with my straw's paper tube while starring into the abyss. I had explained what I could to Earl. He was headed to work when I ran into him, and he wouldn't stop apologizing for dragging me along. I didn't care about that. It was nice of him to not leave me crying on the street alone. I was trying to figure out why I had reacted the way I did. It's not like it's the first time Havoc's had a girlfriend and it won't be the last. I knew this. Maybe it's because for once, I actually felt like I was getting closer to him. Like I finally stood a chance to be with him. I got my hopes up. Typical. I quickly shook my head and took another big gulp of my drink when I felt the tears coming back to surface.

"Okay, lets slow down a bit. I don't need to get in trouble again." Earl set a glass of water in front of me. I only glared at him. Was he really going to cut me off? I just had my heart broken!

"Not tonight Earl. I need to forget." I finished off my second drink and motioned for a refill. Earl only sighed in defeat, knowing that I needed it.

"So..." I only lifted my eyebrows to his unfinished question. "I feel the need to ask, when did you know?" I just starred at him in confusion. Know what? I didn't even know what we were talking about anymore. Were we still on Havoc?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...when did you realize you loved him? By your reaction, it seems to me like you've loved him for a long time. I was just curious as to when you actually noticed." I never really thought about it. When did I realize I had feelings for Havoc? I gave it some thought, when I knew exactly the moment I fell for him.

"I had joined the Military Academy, left my mom in my hometown and swore to never go back. I had nothing to go back to..." I was starting to get into a whole other story. I quickly got back on topic before Earl could ask anymore questions. "Cliques were formed, and everyone kind of stayed with their group. I made friends with some girls, they tended to flirt a lot with the guys... Actually, now that I think about it, everyone flirted. It was like a disease."

"You didn't?"

"No. I've always had the tendency to have tunnel vision. I could only ever see what was in front of me, which at the time, was getting into the military. I stayed to myself for the most part." I paused for a moment, recollecting the memory. "There was this group of guys, I thought they were all tools, especially this one guy. He would bounce from one girl to the next. He was in his last year at the academy, so he thought he was the king. I was completely disgusted by him."

"Did he ever try a move on you?" Earl was amused by my story.

"Yes! Several times." I started laughing remembering all the ridiculous things he would try to pull. They would never work.

"Was this guy Havoc?"

"Yah..." I took another gulp of drink. My mind started to take me back to those memories.

 _"How many times do I have to tell you no, Havoc? Just leave me alone!" I was storming down one of the corridors in the Military Academy, trying my best to ditch Havoc. He was putting up a good fight, it seemed effortless for him to walk my pace. Apparently me practically running to get away from him wasn't sinking in. Why couldn't he get the hint?_

 _"As many times as it takes to get the yes." He was such a womanizer! Nothing pissed me off more than him. He had just started going out with another senior a couple of days ago. Did they already break up?_

 _"Why don't you go ask someone who actually wants to be in the same breathing space as you?"_

 _"They're no fun! You're the only one making it a challenge." This guy didn't make any sense. I thought guys liked easy? If only he would give up easily._

 _"Hey Havoc!" He stopped in his tracks, finally giving me my freedom. I didn't stop with him. I knew it was another female who grabbed his attention, which means I had plenty of time to get away. It felt like I could breath for the first time since he started tailing me, which was breakfast!_

"It got to the point were he stopped trying with all the other girls and just I became his main target!" I'll admit, I enjoyed it. Just a little, being bothered by a man in such a way. "He was the best shot in the whole academy and his confidence matched! I've never been so annoyed by a man than him." Earl couldn't help but laugh as I continued. "Once a year, the academy would bring all the classes together in the gym. They would pair all the girls with guys, they would do it anonymously. They then told us that we would be sparring, hand to hand combat, with our partner. It was meant for the men to get use to not seeing women as women, but as the enemy. To get them use to hitting women. It was also a way for the women to get use to the blow of a man. They tend to hit a lot harder than us. Of course, with my luck, I got partnered with the guy who had the most muscle."

 _"Lovington! You'll be sparring with Ellis!" It was just my luck. I looked over to the group of guys. Ellis' smile couldn't be any bigger. All my friends were trying to pump me up, but it was useless. That man was practically all muscle. Even if I were to get a punch, or even a kick, he would probably only giggle. Not to mention he was a year ahead of me. "Take your places." I slowly made my way to the mat, trying to think of a strategy to survive._

 _"Kick his ass, Abby!" Most of the gym was cheering me on, crossing their fingers that I would still have a beating heart in the end. The others, they were rooting for Ellis to put me on my back for good. It kinda pissed me off, which got me pumped. I had to have some kind of chance. Granted he was a brick wall, but everyone has a soft point. I had to at least try and not have all my alchemy training come out for nothing._

 _I zoned in, and started going through my strategy. Ellis cracked his knuckles, trying to intimidate me. It didn't work. The drill sergeant stood in between us, to the side, with his arm lifted in the air._

 _"Both opponents, are you ready?" Ellis started chuckling, while I only glared at my target. Sergeant took our response as a yes and quickly dropped his hand down. It took no time for Ellis to charge me. I wasn't expecting someone of his size to move so quickly. I almost didn't get out of the way of his first punch. I knew I had to be the one to deliver the first blow. If I didn't, the match would be over, before it even began. Ellis didn't let up. He kept coming at me, becoming more and more agitated with every dodge._

 _"Stop running and fight like a soldier!" He finally did it. He left an opening for me to swoop in and land a hard punch under his chin. I couldn't help but feel proud of myself, but when he started laughing, my heart sank. I looked up at him, with my fist still making contact with his chin. He smiling down at me, knowing he had me. I couldn't move away fast enough, and he landed a blow right in my stomach. I went right down to my knees, trying to desperately to find my breath. Ellis didn't give me a chance. He landed yet another hard blow to face, making me fly a few feet and landed on my back. I've never felt so much pain. I've sparred with my teacher plenty of times. I've never won a single match with her, but this was different. Ellis wasn't letting up. He continued to throw punch after punch. I could hear everyone around me start to protest, demanding the drill sergeant to end the fight. The sergeant responded to the pleas by grabbing Ellis' wrist before he went down for another blow. I couldn't stop thanking God that it was over, but I couldn't move. I was in too much pain and I swear I was coughing up blood._

"He-he almost killed me." Earl was intently listening. "The exercise was to get us use to fighting the different gender, but...he took it too far. I was rushed to the hospital, and I stayed there for a few weeks. My friends would come to visit, kept me updated, but one day they came barring good news. They told me that someone had almost beat the life out of Ellis."

 _"What?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. My friends were in my hospital room, and they just told me that Ellis was only a few rooms down from mine. Someone had jumped him and almost beat the life out of him._

 _"Yah! We stopped by his room real quick before coming here. Let me tell you, Abby, he looks A LOT worse than when you were first admitted here." Jessica snickered loudly._

 _"Who did it?"_

 _"No idea, but there's a rumor going around that it was revenge for you!"_

 _"What?! Me?"_

 _"Well it makes sense. Why else would anyone want to risk their life with Ellis?"_

 _"I heard it was Havoc." Amy quietly put in her two piece. I starred at her in disbelief. I almost couldn't wrap my mind around it._

 _"What? Where did you hear that, Amy?" Sophia didn't seem to believe it either._

 _"Some people were talking about it. I over heard the conversation."_

 _"So in other words, it just people spouting nonsense." Sophia wasn't impressed with Amy's source._

 _"I guess...but I think it's true. After all, he has been interest in you lately." Amy was really defending her theory._

 _"Havoc's interested in anything that moves and has breasts." I couldn't help but laugh at the truefulness of Jessica's statement. The three of them continued to go back and forth with the rumor being true or not. I didn't know what I thought about the information. Personally, I just wanted to get checked out of the hospital._

"Is that when you knew?" There was hope in Earl's voice.

"No." I couldn't help but chuckle when Earl gave me a disappointed look. "I mean, not really. I did feel something, but it wasn't anything strong. It wasn't until Havoc had visited me in the hospital for the first time."

 _I only had one more night to spend in this hospital, and then I would be back at the Academy, in my own bed. The swelling in my face was almost completely down, and the bruising around my eye was hardly noticeable. It felt nice to be able to use both my eyes._

 _"Abby, I know you've had a long day, but you have a visitor." Nurse Lucas popped his head in my room._

 _"I'm always up for my ladies!"_

 _"Actually, it not the three stooges this time." Nurse Lucas seemed very relieved. I, on the other hand, was confused. Who else would be visiting me? Just them, Havoc came walking into the room, looking a bit sheepish. "Let me know if you need anything." I assumed Nurse Lucas was talking to me, since I was the patient._

 _"Hey Havoc..."_

 _"Hey." He took a chair and pulled it up to my bed. "You look a lot better than what your friends are telling everyone."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Well, according to them, your eye is just barely hanging out of your socket, and you're in a full body cast."_

 _"No they're not!" There was no way I would believe that. Who did he think I was. He started laughing when I tried to throw some punches at him._

 _"Why do think I"m here? I had to see for myself." Now that I think of it, why was he here? There was one question, however, I wanted to ask. That way I could clear the rumor once and for all._

 _"Hey Havoc...about Ellis, did you-"_

 _"Abby..." Nurse Lucas popped his head back in, looking defeated. "The three stooges are here." He wanted to cry so badly when Jessica started demanding beverages from him._

 _"There's 500 yen, that should more than enough to get us all something to-" Jessica's eyes landed on Havoc, which seemed to put her in confusion. "What the heck are you doing here?" She knew he wasn't my favorite cup of tea. Havoc seemed to be lost for words._

 _"Just wanted to check in and see her for myself, since you three can't stop exaggerating her condition."_

 _"The hell- we've never exaggerated! You just made that up! Probably an excuse to stalk her again?"_

 _"Stalk? I've never stalked Abby!" Havoc had to get up to dodge some of Jessica's combat moves. "Alright, I can tell when I'm not wanted." He ducked when Jessica threw my file chart at him. "Abby, I'll see you when you're back." I almost didn't catch it, but he looked disappointed before he left._

"The next day, I woke up to a new vase of flowers in my room. When I asked my nurse if I had any visitors after I fell asleep, he mentioned that Havoc had stopped by again. Of course, he was informed that visiting hours were over, so Havoc gave him the vase to leave in my room. The vase was full of Yarrow Tulips." I remembered how beautiful the arrangement was. They filled my room with the most lovely smell. "Do you know the specific meaning behind a Yarrow Tulip?"

"Tulip? Doesn't it mean forgiveness?"

"No." I made a small chuckle. "My mother is a flower fanatic. She had so many books on them, and when I had nothing better to do, I'd read them with her. A Yarrow Tulip meaning is for good health. That's when it happened. Of all times, that's when I fell in love with him." I started tearing up again. "Anyway, I never heard from him after he graduated, but I never got over how I felt about it. I would catch myself thinking about him through out the days. A couple years later, after graduating the academy and becoming a State Alchemist, I was moved here. To the Eastern Headquarters, on Mustang's team, where I ran into Havoc once again. He had changed, completely. He wasn't the womanizer he was back in the Academy. He seemed more serious. Which only made me fall for him all over. I never thought, in my wildest dreams, that I would ever see him again. Let alone be on the same team. Crazy how it works sometimes."

"What happened, when you joined? Did he still seek you out?" His question only made me laugh.

"No. He actually forgot me. I had to reintroduce myself all over again, like it was the first time ever meeting him."

"That's kinda weird. You would think he'd remember the girl he almost killed a man over."

"Well, I never found out if he actually did it. For all I know, it's still just a crazy rumor someone started." I quickly finished my third drink. I was debating to ask for another one. I was starting to really feel the first two. I did have the next couple of days off. I pushed my glass to Earl no longer giving a crap. "One more for the road!" ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 7**

What a nightmare we had with California having that power outage! I'm so grateful that the problem was fixed! Yay for California getting the power back on! Haha well I hope you enjoyed this chapter! There will be more coming! Don't be afraid to leave a review! I don't mind helpful criticism or even just letting me know you enjoy reading! ^-^

 **THANKS FOR READING!**


	8. Chapter 8: Havoc's POV

**Heads up! This chapter will be in the POV of Havoc! ;D**

 **VIII**

It had been a long day. By the time I was heading home, they were still pulling bodies out of the tunnels. I wasn't expecting Emily to be waiting at my door though. Then again, I was suppose to meet her over an hour ago. I had to take a shower, to get rid of the stench. Emily was waiting patiently for me to be done, but I was enjoying the shower too much. Plus, I just didn't want to face her. She probably knows I'm pulling away. We had just started dating a week ago, and I really like her. I really do, but...

My mind started wondering towards her. It's always her. She looked so weak today. It's obvious that she's never really had to deal with death. I've heard the Colonel mention it before, but I didn't actually consider her breaking down like that. It's true that she never got put in a situation that involved such a scene, but she was soldier. She had to be ready for things like this, and not shut down.

I could faintly hear in the distance someone knocking on my front door. I turned the shower off so I could hear a bit better. Emily was defiantly talking to someone, but I couldn't make out who. I should check it out. I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped out of the bathroom. Emily was just shutting the door again when I walked out into the living room.

"Who was at the door?" There was a slight blush to Emily's cheeks. It was always cute when she turned shy. It's not like she hasn't seen me naked before, but the fact that she still seemed innocent just made her more endearing.

"I'm not too sure. She said that she was a fellow soldier who worked with you. She ran down the hall before I could get her name. She seemed upset..."

"She?"

"Yah. She said she wanted to apologize to you for getting you in trouble. She was really pretty." I felt my stomach sink when her face came to my mind. There weren't a whole lot of people who would come over this time of night just to apologize. Especially in the female gender.

"What did she look like?" It wouldn't hurt to confirm.

"Well...she was good few inches taller than me, she had brown hair, beautiful brown hair, and had a slight tan-"

"Blue eyes?"

"Yah!" I didn't respond, more like, couldn't respond. I quickly ran to one of the front windows to see if it really was her. There she was. Running through the crowd, running into a few people. She looked...panicked. I quickly unlashed the window and ripped it open.

"Abby!" She didn't stop. "Abby wait!" She just kept running until I saw her run into another person, but this time, she went down. I turned around and quickly found a pair of pants.

"What's wrong?" There was concern in Emily's voice. She had ever reason to be. I wasn't acting like myself.

"Sorry Emily, but this is important." My words seemed to have stung. "I'll walk you home and explain everything. I'll be sure to see you tomorrow."

"It's okay, I can walk myself home." She smiled at me, but there was hurt in that smile.

"No, it's getting dark-"

"You said it was important right? I only live a few blocks away." I grabbed the first shirt I saw and pulled it on.

"Which is why it won't take too long to walk you home." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Some of the hurt went away. I already told her that my work would have to come first, her second. As far as we both knew, this was work related.

* * *

I had been searching for a while now, getting close to 2 hours. The sky was dark, and the streets were lite. Of course I started at Mustang's and of course, she wasn't there. All that did was get Mustang worried. There was only one place I haven't checked yet, and it should've been the second one. I stood outside the bar we always go to. The bar that Earl works at. I'm gonna be really annoyed if she's here. I opened the door to briefly be relieved that I didn't see her at the bar, but she was somewhere in here. I could hear her. There were quite a few people in the bar tonight. I couldn't pin point where she was. I walked over to the bar, Earl immediately noticed me. He didn't seemed too pleased to see me.

"Well, I wasn't expecting for you to show up."

"Where is she?" He starred at me for a few moments before nudging his head to the side, indicating her location. I glanced over where there was a decent size group of people. I still couldn't see her. I had to walk over to the group before I saw her, practically in some guys lap, flirting. She could barely keep her head straight. She was completely gone and the sleaze ball she was sitting so close to was trying to take advantage of her. My body felt hot with rage.

"Abby!" My voice boomed across the bar, even with all the noise and people in it. She didn't look at me, but she seemed scarred hearing my voice. Everyone else was looking right at me. Probably trying to figure out who I was. After a moment, she finally met my eyes. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She still looked scarred. I squeezed my way between two people and grabbed her arm tightly. I knew she would try to escape. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

"No. I'm waiting for Earl to get off. I'm going home with him." I no longer had the patience. I pulled her arm up, but the other guy didn't want the flirting to end. He grabbed the same arm I had and was trying to force it back down. I glared at the guy, who just glared right back.

"You really don't want to do this."

"She said no. She wants to stay." She didn't do anything. She just sat there and took it. She wasn't being herself. I grabbed the guy's hand and twisted almost to the point of breaking. When he let go from the pain I lifted her up as quickly as I could, getting her away from him. Now I had to try to figure out how to fight this guy and keep her from falling over. The guy stood shaking his wrist, thinking doing so would help the pain. Three of his friends stood by him. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Alright, alright." Earl was able to squeeze his way past the crowd that formed around us. He stood by me, helping Abby stay on her feet better. "Nathan, you and your goons sit back down. Whoever throws the first punch is banned for life." The guy named Nathan and his goons didn't seemed too pleased, but they backed off.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. She would hate me if I let those guys beat you up." I felt slightly offended by his comment. We started moving towards the front door, trying our best to get through the crowd with Abby's swaying and legs giving out.

"You think they could beat me up?"

"No, but I think she would still hate me if I allowed them to try." We made it to the door with little table bumping as possible. There was a good nip in the outside air. I was going to have to carry Abby all the back to Mustang's. Earl let go of Abby, making me loose control of her body moment. "Here, help me get her on." He knelt down in front of her. What?

"Why?"

"I'm gonna carry her home. Unless you think dragging her is a better way."

"Don't you have to get back to work?"

"I told my boss I was taking my lunch break. As long as I'm back in a half hour, it'll be fine. Get her on my back before you both fall over."

"I'm not going- I have her. She's not going to fall over." I tried my best to guide her down on his back. Her arms just hung off his shoulders. Why was he doing this? He didn't need to take her home since I was here. As he stood up, he shift her on his back and started to walk.

"Which way is her home?" Really? What was he going to do if I wasn't here? Ask her for the directions?

"It's just a couple of blocks this way." I started walking with him.

"I don't...I don't feel, so good." It was almost impossible to understand what she was saying. Her breathing was a bit abnormal. It was very likely she would throw up.

"No throwing up now. I just bought this jacket."

"How many drinks did you give her?"

"Well, all the ones she ordered, and then all the ones Nathan, that guy who almost kicked your ass, ordered for her." Why did I feel so irritated by his answer? Why did I feel so angry every time he adjusted her on his back, repostioning his hands on her? "So I guess the grand total would be 6."

"Six?" I practically shouted the number.

"I wasn't going to cut her off tonight. She claimed she has a broken heart. I don't know about you, but I drowned myself in alcohol a few nights after just getting my heart broken."

"Broken heart?" Earl went silent, as if he regretted opening his mouth. I felt my stomach sink a bit. Was it me? She was sprinting away after leaving my apartment. After meeting Emily.

"She said it was some guy that she works with. I can't remember the name though. Said he was some fellow soldier that talks to her from time to time." Oh. Couldn't be me.

"I didn't realize she liked someone."

"Really? She makes it so obvious."

"Huh? So you know who it is? When did you meet him?"

"Well...I could just tell. She always had a glow to her when she came into the bar. The kind of glow only a man could give her." Earl was pretty observant. I don't think I've ever seen her glow. "And since I wasn't the one giving her the glow, I knew it was someone else." My mind wouldn't stop running through all the faces in headquarters. At least all the ones that I knew Abby has talked to every once in a while. She normally didn't venture outside the team.

"So when did you realize?"

"Huh?" His question cut me off guard and I had no idea what he was asking.

"When did you realize you have feelings for her?" There was smirk on Earl's face. As if he was mocking me.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to play it off but my heart was racing from becoming nervous all of a sudden.

"You don't have to hide it! You're more obvious than her."

"I don't have feelings for her! She's my team mate. Nothing more." Earl let out a loud sigh. It sounded disappointed.

"Here." Earl's stopped and faced his back at me.

"Whoa, wait!" He started dropping Abby and I had to scoop her up in my arms before she fell over. "What are you doing?"

"I figured we're getting close. I'll let you drop her off." Actually we were pretty much in front of the house. He seemed nervous. Abby made a moan as I shifted her in my arms. I could't tell if she was passed out or not. Wouldn't be surprised if she was.

"Why all of a sudden?"

"Well...she lives with that Colonel guy you guys are always talking about right?"

"Yah?"

"He sounds... like I really don't want to meet him yet, especially dropping her off like this." He has a good point. Colonel is defiantly not going to be pleased. "Guess I'll see you guys later." Earl started to walk quickly back the way we came. Talk about having no guts, but I guess I understand. The Colonel did have quite a name in this country.

"Havoc..." She just barely mumbled. I looked right down at her. She seemed like she was sleeping. Her cheeks were so rosey. Probably from all the alcohol she had, and maybe the cold air. "You always smell like cigarettes...it's gross." Well that was a good punch in the stomach. "But...I like it." She snuggled up closer to me. I swear my heart skipped a beat. I had to get her home. It was only a few feet away anyways. The Colonel must have seen me standing outside. By the time I reached the gate he was already outside waiting by the door.

"What happened? Is she alright?" I walked up the path and placed her in his arms.

"She's fine. Just...wasted." I was waiting for it. That cold glare that he's mastered.

"She's been doing that a lot lately." There was no glare. He just looked concerned. I couldn't blame him, I was too.

"I'm sure everything's fine. I think she's just trying to flirt with the bartender." My own joke stung a little, because I had a feeling it was partially true. "Well I better get back home. Have a good night Colonel." I started making my way back to the gate.

"Havoc." His tone was serious. I cautiously turned back not knowing what to expect. "I like to consider myself an observant man, and something that I've been observing lately, I hope you can clear it up." His eyes finally broke away from her, and landed on me. There it was. That cold glare. I didn't say anything. Just waited for him to ask his question. "Do you have feelings for Abby?" It was so unexpected. I think my brain turned off for a few moments. He just kept starring at me, with that coldness, waiting for my answer. I finally gave a little chuckle and turned back around. I had to play this off.

"What gave you that idea?" He didn't say anything. I could still feel his gaze. "No. She's just a comrade and a friend." I didn't wait for a response, because I didn't want one. I closed the gate and started walking home, forcing myself to not look back.~

END OF CHAPTER 8

Thanks for reading! :D

 **Gah, guys I'm so sorry it took forever for me to update. Works been beyond crazy and I've been having such bad writer's block! Hopefully I won't have such problems from here! Also, sorry for such a short chapter...I might do some tweaking with this chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9: Moving On

**IX**

~It was a few days after my most recent bar incident. I don't remember a thing from that night. I don't even know how I got home, but the next morning Mustang really laid into me. I think he even grounded me? I haven't spoken to Havoc since then. I've seen him around, unfortunate side effect of being on the same team, but every time he would try to come talk to me I would have an excuse ready to explain why I couldn't talk. Problem was, I was running out of excuses. He was going to catch on very soon that I was trying to avoid him. Especially today, he was very adamant about talking. About what? I have no idea, and I didn't plan to find out.

The halls were buzzing about the Military Ball that was coming up. I still had to figure out if I was even going this year. I always went with Fuery, but this year he wouldn't be able to attend. I always had fun with Fuery, more than I always assume. We never missed a song. Granted we had our own little fun with the slow songs. Never keeping tempo, or spinning around uncontrollably. I was completely bummed that he wasn't going this year!

"Lieutenant Lovington!" I turned around to see a fellow soldier jogging down the main hall.

"Oh, Sergeant Major Reed, is something wrong?" The man came to a stop and gave me a salute.

"No ma'am. Nothing."

"At ease. Then something's on your mind?" He seemed to be uncomfortable.

"Well, ma'am, rumor is going around that you won't be attending the Military Ball this year." It always amazed me how 'rumors' came about. Most of the time they were complete nonsense, but then other times, like this, couldn't be more spot on.

"I see, and what does this "rumor" have to do with you?" I must have sounded annoyed. He seemed more nervous than before. I hated outside parties in my business, hell, I even hated when my friends were in my business.

"Ma'am, pardon my forwardness, but if the rumors are true, I was hoping I could have your ticket?" He once again gave me a salute, but this time, it had more feeling behind. I was astonished by his determination. It did take a lot of guts to come and ask to take my tickets from me. I couldn't help but smile, which loosened his stance a bit.

"I'll think about it. If I end up deciding not to go, I'll be sure to give you my ticket so you can take your girlfriend." His face held surprise.

"How-how did you know I have a girlfriend?" My eyebrow raised to indicate he forgot something in that sentence. "Ma'am!" His hand went back up to a salute. I was having a little too much fun.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" I turned back around and started walking back down the hall. At the end of the hall I could see my team starring at seemed confused.

"What was that about?" Breda spoke up as I reached them. My eyes found Havoc, who was also starring back. Somehow my heart sank and fluttered at the same time.

"Oh, he was just asking me to the Ball." What?! Where did that come from? "Since _someone_ won't go with me this year." My eyes drifted to Fuery.

"I already said I was sorry! How many more times do I have to apologize?" Fuery was getting flustered now.

"Until I forgive you! Which probably won't be until next year." We all started making our way to Mustang's office.

"So are you gonna go with Reed?" Breda seemed rather curious.

"I don't know. Maybe? I'll think about it." What has possessed me?! I can't believe I was actually trying to make Havoc jealous! Especially when I know it wasn't going to work. This wasn't the first time I tried pulling this move. It didn't work then and it certainly wasn't going to work now, when he has such a cute girlfriend.

"Damn. I was hoping to go this year." That caught me off guard.

"What? You? Breda I wouldn't go with you even if Falman wasn't an option." Both men took offense to my statement.

"What? Why not?" I wasn't about to explain my reasons with either of them. I didn't feel like starting a fight. Thank God we were reaching the office. If I couldn't get them to shut up, Riza defiantly could. "What about Havoc?" Breda's curious question brought me to a halt at the door. I tried my best to play it off and opened the door.

"Defiantly not Havoc." I tried to sound as disgusted as I possibly could.

"What's defiantly not Havoc?" Riza was just leaving Mustang's personal office. Everyone went over to their desk and sat down while I stayed at the door.

"Lovington's taking Sergeant Major Reed to the Ball, and claims she wouldn't be caught dead with us." Breda sounded like he was a three year old tattling to his mother. I couldn't help but give him a distasteful look.

"Oh? But doesn't Sergeant Major Reed have a-"

"YES! He does have ' _guard drill_ ' that day, but he says he will be able to get off on time. And I didn't officially say I was going with him. I said I'd think about it." My matter-of-fact tone was direct toward Breda. Riza just looked at me in confusion. She must also know he has a girlfriend, but she thankfully dropped the topic.

"Hey, Lovington." Havoc had walked over to Riza and I. "Could I talk to you for a sec?" On that note, Riza left the office. I wanted so badly to ask her to stay. I didn't have an excuse up my sleeve this time, which meant, I would have to talk to him.

"Um...sure."

"It's about Emily." Great. "She's been wanting to meet the team for some time now and was hoping to have a get together soon."

"Why are you whispering?" My softness was now matching his.

"Because I'm not ready for her to meet the guys. I really like her and I'm not ready for to get scarred off yet." Really liked her huh? There was that feeling again. It took everything in me not to run out the door. "So I was hoping we could meet you somewhere? Since she's technically met you already. I'm hoping it'll be enough for now-"

"No." My tone was harsh. I didn't wait for him to ask why. I started making my way to the door as he stood there surprised.

"Wha-why?" He was no longer whispering. Now I needed to explain and I don't think I had it in me. I was tired of lying. Of hiding my feelings. All I wanted to say, right then and there, was that I didn't feel like getting my heart ripped opened a second time. Instead, I made up another excuse.

"I got orders from Mustang. I can't go out anymore." The other guys were watching us intently. I didn't care. I closed the door behind me, as gently as I could.

* * *

"Lovington." What now? I was in the gym, using the punching bag to take out my frustration. Mustang was making his way to me. It was always odd seeing someone in their uniform instead of their gym cloths in the gym. Which meant he was here for business.

"Yes sir?" I stopped my punching to salute him.

"You're going out tonight." I was confused. "Havoc talked to me. He said everyone was going out tonight and they were needing a designated driver."

"Did he now?" I was gonna need another hour in the gym. I hated going out in the middle of the week. Especially if we went to the bar, which I knew we would. "Did he happen to mention who was all going?"

"He did not give the specifics. Only that you were needed and guaranteed that you would not be drinking." Damn him! I was about to start arguing with, when a idea came to mind. A scandalous idea. It even made me smirk like a villain.

"Very well sir. I'll see to it." I knew he knew I had something up my sleeves, but from past experience his instinct told him not to pry. As Mustang left the gym, I started to unwrap the bandages on my hands. It was time to round of the troops.

* * *

It was evening time, and I had just finished getting ready at home. Took my time in the shower, and even gussied myself up. I was just making my way down the stairs to leave when the phone rang. Mustang wasn't home yet, said he'd be late coming home tonight, again. It might be him on the phone. I changed my direction and headed for the phone, picking it up.

"Hello, Mustang's residence."

"Hey, Abby!" My spirits where lifted almost immediately.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes! Hi!"

"Now what have I said about calling me when you're off duty?" He sounded so serious.

"Sorry." I giggled a bit. "How are you Hughes?"

"I'll take it." He still sounded disappointed. I refused to call him by his first name. I promised I would the day I retire from the military. Until then, it just didn't feel right. "Is Roy around? I need to talk to him about something serious."

"Sorry, he's still at the office. I'm sure you can reach him there. Since you brought her up, how is Elisa doing?" He boomed with excitement right away about his daughter. His serious talks were always about his daughter, sometimes his wife. Mustang hated that I encouraged Hughes obsession but I always loved listening to him talk about his family. It was one of the many wonderful qualities about Hughes. He was just finishing with saying that he was wanting to remind Mustang that it was going to be Elisa's birthday soon, so he wouldn't forget to send them a present this year. I wrote it down on the pad that was next to the phone. The reminder I wrote wasn't for Mustang, but for me. Even if Mustang read it everyday, he would forget to send one. I'll have to go shopping soon!

"So enough about my life. How are you?" After twenty minutes of talking about his daughter, he finally took a break. I was going to be late.

"Things are good. Everything's slowing down after Scar's disappearance. Mustang refuses to let up though. He spends most of his time and nights at the office."

"You're not getting too lonely are you?"

"No, no. I'm actually going out tonight with the guys."

"Ah, I see! And how are things going in that department?" I knew he was going to ask that once I brought up the guys. For the past several months, Hughes has been silently rooting for me with Havoc. He randomly approached me one day about it, and wouldn't let up until I finally confessed. "Abby?" I hadn't said anything for a moment.

"I think...I think I'm giving up, Hughes." My lip started to quiver.

"Are you sure?" He seemed concerned now. Pull yourself together Abby!

"Yah." I hesitated for a moment, choosing my words before continuing. "I'm tired of getting no where. I need to face the reality that I'm only going to be a fellow soldier to him."

"Now, now. You're much more than a fellow soldier."

"Yah, well, friend isn't any more appeasing."

"Abby, I'm going to give you some advice." I fell silent as I waited. "I know, you're going to do whatever you want. Unfortunately that part of Roy has rubbed off on you." I chuckled. "So if you say you're going to give up, and move on. Than do it. I can't say it's good or bad, because I can't possibly know. I'll be cheering for you no matter what you do." He always had the best advice. "But..." I felt nervous when he paused. "Don't try and lie to yourself. You'll never move on, and will only hurt not only yourself, but others." I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. That completely surprised me. "Now, go have fun tonight! I have to go call Roy now!" There he went being his goofy self again. "Remember Abby, I'm cheering for you." I heard the click on the phone, indicating that he had hung up. I just stood there, going over what had just happened. I didn't know where to go from here. I glanced up at the clock, only to rush myself out the door. I was very late!

* * *

"We were wondering when you were going to show up." Falman slid me my water for the night.

"Sorry, I was talking to Hughes on the phone. You know how that goes." I bit out of breath. I had ran the whole way here. "Why are you here all by yourself?" Falman was the only one sitting at the bar. I started looking around for the others.

"Well Fuery went off somewhere in the bar, and the other three got up and went somewhere. Said they'd be back shortly." Other three? Must be Breda, Havoc and...Emily. I took the seat next to Falman, wishing more than anything I could drink. It would be the only way to get me through tonight.

"Well look who's back." Earl was filling up Flaman's beer mug. "I wasn't expecting to see you so soon."

"Same here. Do you ever have a night off?"

"Earl, you're not allowed to ask her out tonight, unless the answer is yes. Is it?" Falman was looking at me.

"What, no!"

"Than no asking." Falman looked back at Earl, who was laughing. I really needed a drink.

"See I told you she would be here." I could hear Breda's voice behind me. I turned my seat around to see Breda, Emily and a not so happy looking Havoc. Mission accomplished.

"Abby, thank you so much for coming!" Emily came up and gave me a hug. I was not expecting that.

"Uh...yah. Well, when you're forced to be the DD, you kinda have to show up."

"You have a point." She giggled, taking a seat right next to me. She had a really cute giggle.

"Where did you guys go?" I was looking down at Breda. I couldn't bring myself to look at Havoc.

"Emily got worried and wanted to go look for you, because you were so late." Havoc was the one who answered. He even sounded angry. I kinda couldn't blame him. I ended up inviting the others, which was the last thing he wanted. On the other hand, serves him right!

"Sorry, Hughes had called, and well, you know how that goes." He didn't respond. He didn't even look at me. He just took another drink from his glass.

"Who is Hughes? Is he your boyfriend?" Emily asked all excited. Havoc started to choke on his drink, Breda and Falman started laughing. Even I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. Poor Emily seemed embarrassed now.

"No, he's just a friend who lives in Central. He's married and has a lovely daughter."

"Oh, I see."

"And don't ever ask him about either of them!" Falman was warning her.

"What happens if I do?"

"God help your soul."

"Ok guys! Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?" Every one of them took a big drink, not wanting to reply. "Well I for one find it very endearing! I love that Hughes is so passionate about his family. Gracia is a lucky woman."

"Yah, because I highly doubt he obsesses about her in front of her." Breda said while chuckling. That got us all to laugh, except for Emily. She looked a bit troubled. I kinda felt bad. She couldn't really relate to what we were talking about.

"So, Emily, what do you do for a living?" She perked up a bit when I asked.

"Oh I work at a boutique shop."

"Oh really? Which one?"

"Antonio's Little Boutique." Now I was the one choking on my water.

"I go there all the time." I finally was able to manage to say something. "Small world." I wonder if she was there when Havoc and I were there together?

"I absolutely love working for him! I'm only part time right now, but I've been asking for more hours. He's trying his best, so I try not to complain too much." She's even a hard worker. I was starting to see what Havoc saw in her.

"Only water tonight, Abby?" Earl was refilling my glass.

"Yep. I've been grounded...I think?" I still wasn't sure if Mustang ordering me was the same thing. Mainly because I've never been grounded in my life.

"That's no fun. Who's gonna flirt with me than?" I don't know where it came from, but I could feel a sudden tension.

"I'm sure you can find someone. You're not doing to bad on the looks." I was trying to not let this tension get to me.

"Are you two dating?" Emily chipped in. I looked at her in shock, with my face turning red.

"No, but I wish." Earl said it with such coolness. "Speaking of which, what are you doing this weekend?" That got Falman's attention.

"No! What did I say Earl? You just broke my one rule!" The tension kept getting worse. I had one theory. My eyes discretely went to Havoc. He was glaring at Earl with cold eyes. I was right. What was his problem? Havoc noticed me starring at him. He went back to his drink, as if nothing happened.

"Hey, you guys made it back!" Fuery was finally gracing us with his presence.

"Yah, and where have you been?" It wasn't karaoke night, so who really knows where he has been.

"I finally got the courage to ask this girl out. She comes here often and we talked a couple of times."

"How did that go?" Fuery took the seat that was open next to Breda.

"She shot me down flat." He sounded like he wanted to cry. My poor Fuery. "How do you always manage to get the cute girls Havoc?"

"It's a skill I've learned over the years, my good friend." He sounded so cocky.

"Oh really?" Emily chirped up. "Do you want to explain our first encountering?" This got everyone's attention. Even Earl was interested.

"We don't need to get into the details of my awesomeness." Havoc seemed nervous all of a sudden. Just then the jukebox changed songs. It was a slower song, one for the couples to dance close to. This is why I hated going out in the middle of the week. All the couples seemed to be out and wanted to dance, while I just sat here, day dreaming. My gaze went out to dance floor as it slowly filled up with couples. There was only one time someone held me like that. It didn't end well. I brought my attention back to my pointless glass of water. I could feel him looking. I glanced up to see Earl smirking at me.

"What?" He put his cleaning rag down and gave me a heart stopping look.

"Want to dance?" I almost didn't process what he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Well since I'm not allowed to bug you about going out with me, I figured I'd substitute it with dancing. Plus, you look like you really want to."

"What? No. I was just...No I don't want to dance."

"Are you scarred?" He was pushing my buttons.

"What would I possibly be scarred of?"

"Can you not dance?"

"Oh no, Abby can dance!" Fuery had my back. "She a very good dancer." However, I didn't realize his words were putting the final nail on my coffin.

"Then that settles it." Earl started climbing over the bar and swung his legs over the other side. I had to swing my chair away from the bar so he could get by Falman and I.

"Let's go Lovington." He extended his hand out for me. I hesitated, really trying to think of something to get me out of this. Nothing came to mind, at least nothing clever. I made a painful groan as I took his hand and left my seat. He led me out to the dance floor and swung me around into his arms. The dance floor was starting to get crowded. It wasn't very big to begin with. Earl wasn't that bad. He moved me gracefully but with confidence. What really impressed me was that it was't the usual stand-in-one-spot-and-barley-move-your-feet dance. He defiantly had lessons at some point in his life. Maybe I should ask him to the Ball?

"So how are you holding up?" I looked up at him for the first time. I think this was the closest I've ever been to him. I could feel my heart speed up.

"I'm fine. Actually, I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would." I was pretty surprised by how true that was. "I think it's thanks to you."

"What do you mean?" He spun me out and brought me back in.

"I mean, you're always making sure that I always have company. You always seem to be there when I need you most." I was trying to say something. What was it? "I guess I want to thank you?" No, that's not what I'm trying to say. Why do I feel so confused? Earl was chuckling.

"It's really more for my favor." My heart tightened as I waited for him to continue. "I've had my eyes on you for a while. I stood back while I watched you watch him." There it was. My heart was racing. "After seeing you last time, I've decided I let him hurt you for the last time." I couldn't tell if I was feeling dizzy from the dancing or from what he was saying to me. "So take this as me officially saying that I'm coming for you, Lovington." The song ended and we both just stood there, starring at each other. I almost couldn't breath.

"What...what are you doing two weekends from now?"

"Why?" His look had victory all over it.

"I was hoping, you would go with me. To the Military Ball?" I don't know why I was asking him this. It might of been from the heat of the moment, or I actually wanted to start moving on. He took a step away from me, and slightly bowed to kiss my hand. I wasn't expecting that.

"I would love to." He said as he locked eyes with me. This was too much. A part of me knew I shouldn't be doing this. Not when I was confused about Havoc. Then again, when should I be doing this? It's only the Military Ball. If things don't work out, then we can just go back to normal. As long as we don't cross that point of no return. "Do I need to buy a tux?"

"No, you don't have to buy one. I actually know a place that rents them out. It's pretty cheap too." The next song started up. It was good fast paced one. Earl spun me around again and dipped me.

"Mind if I see what I'll be working with?" I started laughing as he brought me back up. He started guiding me into a country swing style. Luckily for me, I have danced like this with someone else before. I remember a few moves, but I was relying more on Earl to guide me. I could't believe how much it was it. I couldn't stop laughing.

"Could you teach us that!" Emily had interrupted the fun. Havoc was right behind her, looking away in the distance.

"Sure thing." Earl started instructing them to do what he was doing with me. I was trying to figure out why Havoc was letting Earl "teach" him. I knew Havoc could dance like this because he was the one I danced with before, but there he was, acting like he didn't have a clue. Whatever. I wasn't going to think about it.

Towards the end of the song, Emily almost had a few moves down. Of course Havoc was already a pro. I'll admit, it was nice to see her having just as much fun as I was having.

"Earl! What are you doing? Get back to work!" Earl's boss had made an appearance. Before he left, Earl squeezed my hand and made his way back behind the bar, where people were cheering. They must have enjoyed the show we had put on.

"That was a lot of fun!" Looks like Emily had her fill with dancing. "It's getting pretty late, don't you think Jean? Maybe we should head home?" What was home? Her place? His? Or maybe she was implying that they both go in different directions?

"Sounds good, since we both have work tomorrow." Now that he mentions it, I should start rallying the boys and get them home. Since this was the main purpose of me coming. I made my way off the dance floor and started getting the boys up from their chairs.

"Come on, it's closing time."

"No it's not! We still have another 3 hours!" Breda was not excited about leaving. He wouldn't be until he was drunk, which we would have to be here for another hour.

"Well it's closing time for the designated driver! Now let's go. We have things to do tomorrow." All three boys started making their way to the door, very slowly if I might add. I wanted to say good night to Earl, but he was busy with other customers. I pushed on Breda's back to get him to start moving faster. Havoc and Emily were already outside. He was warming up her hands in his.

"Well Emily, I hope you had fun." I tried making small talk as the boys were loading themselves in the car.

"Oh, I most certainly did! I hope we can do this again soon!" Yah...right.

"Well...I guess I'll see you tomorrow Havoc."

"See you tomorrow." I hopped in the drivers seat and started the car. The boys were in the back seat, arguing about who was on who's side. The idiots never remember there was a frot seat option when they were drunk. I looked into the side mirror and saw Havoc open the passenger door on his car for Emily. Just like what he did with me, he extended his hand out for her and guided her into her seat. I put the car in drive and hit the gas, not wanting to see anymore.

"Hey, easy on the gas Lovington!"

"Shut up Breda!" I was going to move on. I needed to. I had to.~

END OF CHAPTER 9

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	10. Chapter 10: Dress Shopping

**X**

~ The Military Ball was only a week away and everyone was gushing over it. It was like being back in the Academy. There were couples everywhere! They were multiplying like rabbits. I was, however, looking forward to this year's ball. One reason was because I received a recent call from my old Academy friend, Jessica. She would be going this year with her new high ranking boyfriend. I couldn't help but wonder how much older he was than her. Another reason, well, I had an actual date this year. I still couldn't believe I had asked Earl to the ball. Every time I thought about it I got nauseous with butterflies. I just hoped things would go smoothly. Men in the military don't usually warm up to men who are not military. I guess as long as I stay by his side all night, things should be fine. The real reason I was excited about this year was that I'm going to buy an actual ball gown! All the other years I would just wear something I already had in my closet, which didn't get all that fancy. I figured since I had an actual date this year, I could go all out and I already had the perfect dress in mind. All I wanted to do now was ask Hawkeye to go with me to consult, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Hey Abby!" I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Havoc calling for me. I was outside, sitting on the lawn at Headquarters. It had been a long morning and I was hoping some fresh air would help clear the mind. Even Black Hayate had joined me and was snoozing away in the sun.

"Need something Havoc?"

"Well, it's about Emily." The sting from her name would lessen every time he brought her up. Lately it's been every chance he could once he was out of the office. I had a feeling he was hiding her from Mustang. Who could blame him, since Mustang stole his last girlfriend. "She, and I, were wondering if she could go dress shopping with you?

"Dress shopping?"

"Yah, she's really nervous about the ball. She has some questions about it and was hoping to get some girl time with you." Of course he's taking her to the ball. I don't know why I thought differently.

"Um…well…sure. I guess." I really didn't want to spend any more time with her than needed, but I still felt bad. I had no reason to ostracize her, other than she was dating the man that I've had feelings for. She was a really sweet girl. Perfect for Havoc. Deep down I was happy for them, but…

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." I still felt the pain when he would smile at me. "When were you planning on going?"

"I was actually hopping to go today, but that's only if Hawkeye is available."

"Oh Hawkeye's going?" He didn't sound too pleased with that information.

"I'm hoping. If she can't do it today then I'll just go tomorrow, whether she can make it or not. I'll be sure to keep you updated so you can tell Emily."

"That'd be great, thanks again." I was hoping that would've been the end of the conversation, but he didn't move. He just stood there, as if contemplating what to say next. "So, I hear you're going with Earl?"

"Huh?"

"To the ball…I heard you asked Earl?"

"Oh…yah." It was weird. I've can't remember a time before now that I felt awkward around Havoc.

"That's good…well I hope you have fun."

"Thanks." Just stop talking and walk away already!

"Well, I'll see you inside." I just nodded my head and watched him walk back up the stairs and into the building. I let out a long breath, as if I had been holding it in the whole time. Was this how it was going to be from now on between us? I can't even think what has changed, other than that I decided to let go of these feelings for him and move on. Was that all it was? Talk about pathetic.

"Well Hayate, I think we should be heading back in." I poked the pups nose gently to wake him up. His tail instantly started wagging as his eyes slowly opened. "I'll make a deal with you." His head popped up as if he could actually understand what I was saying. "You help me get your master to come with me today, or tomorrow, and I'll buy you a treat." He barked a few times, which only made me smile. "I'll take that as a yes?" He barked again as we both made our way back into the building.

* * *

"Tonight?" I had just pulled Hawkeye to the side to ask her to go shopping with me tonight. Her expression was telling me she was going to say no.

"Please, Hawkeye? I can't do this by myself, I really need you! I'll even buy you dinner."

"Sure I can go tonight, and you don't have to buy me dinner."

"Really?" Well I wasn't expecting that. She was actually saying yes!

"Yes. I'm free tonight so I'm all yours." I had to contain myself and hug her. We were still at work, I still had to be professional. "Besides, I need to shop for a dress as well." I didn't even need to ask who her date was. She always went with Mustang. She always seemed more like a body guard than anything. Their relationship really was unusual. Now I need to go tell Havoc so he can inform Emily. "What time were you wanting to go?"

"I was hoping to go right after work, but I also need to figure out when Emily gets off."

"Emily?"

"Yah, she's Havoc girlfriend. Havoc asked if she could go with us." I probably could have sounded a little more enthused about it.

"I didn't know Havoc has a girlfriend." She was actually surprised. It only confirmed my theory of him hiding her from Mustang even more.

"I guess they started dating a few weeks ago."

"Sounds like fun. I could use a girl's night out." I couldn't help but stare when Hawkeye smiled. It was such a rare occasion.

"I'll let you know once I talk to Havoc."

"I'll be here." Hawkeye said right before I closed the office door. Hopefully Havoc was nearby.

* * *

It starting to get dark when Riza and I reach the boutique. We had enough time to go home and change into normal cloths while we waited for Emily to get off. She should be here any minute. We were at the boutique that was right next to the bar the guys and I always go to. The dress I've had my eyes on for a while was still being displayed in the window. It was even on sale! The saleswoman had placed the dress in my dressing room while I helped Riza find a dress.

"What style are you going for this year?"

"The same as last year, just maybe a different color." Her dress last year was a plain black dress. It was low cut, and fit her like a glove. If I was a man, I would have been all over her. I was kinda disappointed that she wasn't going to try something different this year. Just then the bell to the front entrance jingled and in walked Emily. Her eyes found me right away.

"Hey Abby!" She greeted me with such enthusiasm.

"Hey Emily, glad you found this place alright."

"Oh it was easy, considering it's right next to the bar." Her eyes found Riza next who was now standing next to me. "Hello, you must be Ms. Hawkeye?"

"Yes, you can call me Riza." They briefly shook hands.

"I'm Emily, Havoc's girlfriend." I gritted my teeth. I know she wasn't, but it was like she was rubbing it in.

"What kind of dress are you thinking of wearing, Emily?" I tried my best to sound pleasant.

"I'm not sure…" She started looking around at the dresses. "What kind of dress are you wanting?"

"Mine is already in a room. I'm just helping Riza out."

"I don't think I'm going to get my dress here." Riza said as she put yet another dress back on the rack. "Nothing's really catching my eye." She better not leave. "I'll observe and give you constructive criticism." She sat down on one of the lounge chairs facing the dressing rooms.

"Wow! This one is beautiful!" Emily was holding up a periwinkle version of my dress. I felt a twinge of annoyance come over me.

"Perfect. Ready to try it on?"

"Yes!" We both made our way into separate changing rooms. I quickly undressed from my regular cloths and slipped the dress right on.

"Hey, Riza? Could you come help me really quick?" I was going to need her to lace up the back of my dress. I held the dress in place as she entered the small room and started lacing me up tightly.

"When you're finished with Abby, Ms. Hawkeye, could you come help me?" Emily's voice came from the other side of my wall.

"I'll be right over." It took Riza a few minutes to get the tightness I wanted, but when she got it perfect she headed over to Emily. I hadn't looked in the mirror yet. I was a bit nervous. I had such high expectations for this dress. I was scarred it would look nothing like I had in my head.

"Oh my goodness! It's perfect!" Emily was certainly pleased with her dress.

"You're right, that dress looks good on you." Riza was even getting excited.

"Abby? Is everything alright?" Emily's voice was right outside my curtain. It was now or never. I decided I wouldn't look unless I got positive feedback from Riza. I stepped out in the open for the world to judge me. Emily's face glowed with a smile as I walked out. Riza's reaction was more settle. Her eyes widened a bit and small smile crept on her face.

"It's perfect." Was all Riza said. Emily only nodded her head in agreement. Which meant now I had to look for myself. I turned around to look at myself in the mirror and was struck in awe. They were right. The dress was perfect. _**(Read CH.2 for dress description)**_ It complimented my body beautifully. My favorite part were all the gems that made it sparkle. Emily was standing next to me in the mirror. Now that she was wearing her dress, I could tell it was a bit different from mine. Her dress had lace sleeves that fell off her soldiers, and had a bit more gems. The periwinkle went perfectly with her features.

"Well that was easy." I chuckled a bit.

"The way I like my shopping." Riza said as she stood up and gathered her things.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes, I need to get back to Hayate." She froze for a second when she saw the panic in my eyes. "What's that face for? I thought I was only needed for consult?" Yes, and to make sure Emily didn't turn up missing.

"It's nothing. You're right. We're finished here anyways, right?" I looked down to Emily. She was still looking in the mirror, swaying back and forth.

"You guys can go ahead. I need to wait for Jean. He's supposed to be meeting me here to see the dress!"

"What?" Why was I panicking? Didn't matter, I was in full panic mode. Whatever the reason was, I did not want him to see me like this. I felt vulnerable! I quickly hurried back into my changing room and snapped the curtain shut. I took in a deep breath and started to undress myself. To be honest, if I could manage to get out of here before he showed up in general would be wonderful. I really didn't want to stay behind and listen to him brag about how beautiful his girlfriend is. I wanted to hit my head on the wall when I started to imagine it. I stepped out of the changing room, fully clothed, and headed for the cashier who was eager to make a sale. Just when I had finished paying the store bell jingled again, welcoming the new comer.

"Oh, Jean! Over here!" DAMN IT! So. Close. Havoc walked right past me by the register and walked over to Emily. I could feel Riza staring at me when my head went down. I refused to look the other way, at the happy couple.

"Oh wow! Look at you!" I could see Emily twirl her dress in my peripheral vision. "You are beautiful. Every man at the ball is going to be jealous of me." He was probably right. "Did you find your dress Abby?" I looked up at him sheepishly.

"Yah." I couldn't think to say more. I just wanted out. When was this pain going to go away? I just wanted to act normal again with him.

"Earl's gonna be the second luckiest man there."

"Thank you." Was that even supposed to be a compliment? I didn't care anymore. I grabbed Riza by the hand and started walking towards the door.

"See you tomorrow." I mumbled right before exiting. I was grateful Riza went along with being dragged. I didn't take her to be the kind of person who appreciates being pulled on. "Can…can you take me home?" I finally let go of her hand as she started walking toward her vehicle. I followed her and slid into the passenger seat.

"You alright?" Damn. I was hoping she wasn't going to say anything. If she didn't say anything, then she didn't suspect anything. The fact that she asked, only means she knows.

"I'm good."

"Good." End of conversation. Good. "Because it can never happen." …What? I looked at Riza as she started the car. She could see the confusion on my face. "I'll take it you were the only one the Colonel didn't talk to about this?" I just shook my head, slowly, in more confusion. "The day you joined our team, before you had entered the room, Mustang talked to the men. He explained that you were joining the team, what your skills and assets were." She paused a moment and put the car in drive. "Then, he informed the men that any emotional or sexual relationships with you was forbidden. If a relationship was developed, then one or both partners would be kicked off the team." WHAT!? I now stared at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe it!

"Wha-Why?" I almost shouted at her.

"Relationships always go one or two ways. You would either remain happy with one of them, get married, retire from the military and start a family of your own somewhere, or…" Riza now turned on her headlights and started driving down the road, towards Mustang's. "You split up, and even that can go one or two ways. You can split clean. Still try to be friends, but things would be awkward for a while, or it ends horribly and you two can't work with each other, ever." I knew there was a point to this, I just wasn't able to process it. "The Colonel has goals, Abby. If any of his subordinates get in the way of that goal because they can't get along, or are unable to do their job correctly because of a relationship that may or may not last…" She hesitated, trying to choose her words correctly. "It would just be better to prevent it all together." I finally looked away, letting it all sink in. "I guess the Colonel thought he didn't have to worry about you falling for one of them." Riza chuckled to herself realizing how wrong Mustang was.

"Yah." So any hope or chance I had, was all an illusion. Are…are you going to tell Mustang?" The car came to a slow stop when we reached an intersection. My heart was racing with anticipation for Riza's answer.

"No." She drove forward once again, after checking there were no other cars coming. I felt both relief and shock. I thought she told Mustang everything. No exceptions.

"Thank you."

"Just don't make it hard for the Colonel. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I did understand. It only made it more clear that Havoc and I were never going to be. We never had a chance. Which meant I really needed to let go of these feelings I have for him.

* * *

The rest of the ride home Riza and I talked about some things at work that were needing some attention. We even talked about the ball for a while. She even got me to confess that I was bringing someone other than Fuery this year. Just another thing I was asking her to keep quiet from Mustang. Didn't need him going to investigate and scaring off Earl before I even have a chance with him.

"Good night, have a safe trip home." I said as I shut the passenger door. She waved me goodbye and started driving off. I shuffled my way to the front door and tried to keep my dress from hitting the ground. It was a bit harder than I thought it should. The door swung open hard as I pushed it with my foot. Hopefully Mustang wasn't sleeping. Granted it wasn't late, but I highly doubt he was getting any kind of sleep at the office. Hawkeye even said that she caught him sleeping at his desk earlier today. As I continued to shuffle into the house I tripped over Elisa's birthday present that I still haven't sent. Her birthday was a few days ago and I promised myself that I would send it on time this year. Oh well. I'll just give it to Hughes when he comes for the ball. Hopefully he would be going this year. I finally made it to the living room and draped the dress over the couch. It would probably stay there until morning. I turned around to head for the stairs when I saw something in the corner of my eye. My heart almost jumped out of my throat when I saw someone standing by the phone. I even almost screamed.

"Mustang…" My voice was breathy from fright. "I didn't think you'd be awake. Hawkeye was telling me-" I was cut short by my heart sinking when I saw his face. It held complete horror. "Mustang? What's wrong?" My voice was even a pitch higher. He didn't show this kind of expression even when he got the call from Nina. Which meant it was much worse. "Mustang…you're scarring me. What's wrong? Who's on the phone?" He still didn't acknowledge me. Just continued to stare straight ahead with terror in his eyes. I finally grabbed the phone from him and brought it up to my ear, my hand was shaking. "Hello?" I could hear a woman crying. She muffled it when she heard me on the line. "Who is this?" And why are you crying?

"Abby?" My heart sank lower when I recognized the voice.

"Gracia? What's wrong? Did something happen to Elica?" Deep down I knew there wasn't anything wrong with Elica. As much as the Colonel thought her precious, she wouldn't bring this kind of reaction from Mustang.

"Oh Abby…is Roy still there? Is he alright?" She was trying to speak in between sobs. I glanced at Mustang who was now using the table as a crutch to keep him up. His whole body was shaking.

"He's here…but…I don't know how he's doing. What's going on?" My voice just kept getting higher and higher.

"When I told him, he just disappeared. I wasn't even sure if he was still on the phone, then I heard your voice and…." She started sobbing again. I knew then. Of course I didn't know for sure, but I knew. I wanted to hang up the phone before it was too late. To stop me from hearing the truth. "Maes is dead!" She was able to yell out those few words before breaking down again. My eyes widened in fear. I was the one now, looking straight ahead, in horror. The phone I held slipped through my fingers as I too, fell to the ground. Tears viciously ran down my face as I began to process the unthinkable.

"No." Was all I could whisper. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 10**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11: For Hughes

**XI**

~ The sun had been up for a couple hours now. There was still that hint of a new day glow outside, looked like it was going to be nice. I sat alone at the dining table that is rarely used, my hands were placed around the clean, empty coffee mug that I had pulled from the cupboard. The house was completely silent. All I could hear was the ticking of the clock as it reached mid-morning. I focused on that sound as I stared blankly at the liquor bottle that was just a quick reach away. Mustang had left earlier this morning. He and Riza had boarded the first train to Central, to help Gracia at her time of most need. I had begged Mustang for me to go with, but he had ended up ordering me to stay behind. Something about I was needed here, to keep things in check. He had given me "permission" for a day of leave to gather myself. Right before walking out the door, leaving me to myself. He also ordered no alcoholic consumption. Bastard. He honestly thought he could leave me all alone, to my torturous thoughts and not try to subdue them? The last few hours had been the worse. From frantic denial, to finally accepting the unimaginable. It took a while before Mustang had regained his composure, then he went back to his usual self. He even ended up calming _me_ down. I shot up from my chair and threw the mug across the room, having it shatter against the wall. I couldn't sit here any longer. I was about to go insane from my own thoughts. I grabbed a light jacket from the coat closet, assuming there was a nip in the air, and stormed out of the house.

* * *

The walk to Headquarters had done me good, but it only wasted a good hour of the long day that was a head. I hesitated before marching up the stairs and into building, I wasn't so sure other parties in the facility would appreciate my attire. Especially when I was planning on being here to work. I was still in the cloths I wore last night when dress shopping with Hawkeye and Emily. It was weird to think how different things were such a short time ago. I did get a few looks as I walked through the halls, but for the most part people were too busy with what they were doing to even notice me. Without missing a step in my stride I opened the door to Mustang's office and shut it behind me as I continued into the room. I didn't bother greeting anyone, even though all eyes were on me. Mustang had called them all before leaving this morning, informing them what had happened, and where he would be.

"Abby, what are you doing here? The Colonel said to take the day off." Fuery carefully stepped towards me.

"There's too much to be done here for me to take a day off. Besides, I finished all my chores in the house so I'd just end up bored." I sat down at my desk and grabbed the top paper.

"Yah, but…" Fuery's voice trailed off as he looked around the room for support from the others. They only remained quiet.

"How are you?" Breda pulled up the seat next to me. I was really hoping no one would ask that. I could feel all their eyes on me, carefully analyzing me.

"I'm fine." I continued my paperwork without looking up or pausing. I know it was obvious that I was anything but fine. I had cried enough to last me a lifetime last night. Not to mention I was running on little to no sleep. The few moments of shut eye I had were ruined by terrorizing nightmares.

"Well…if you want, we're all planning to go out and honor a few drinks to Lieutenant Colonel Hughes." My hand stopped writing at the sound of his name. I tried to brush it off, and continued to finish writing my sentence.

"Can't. Sorry."

"You sure?"

"I promised the Colonel that I wouldn't drink. I guess I'm still on probation. Besides…" I hesitated a moment, choosing a different way to word what I wanted to say. "A few shots of liquor to honor Hughes wouldn't help." It still sounded harsh. I slammed my pen down to the table, only becoming more annoyed with myself. A tension of silence filled the room. No one moved, no one spoke. What scared me the most now was knowing that sooner or later I would run out of things to do here. Which meant I would have to go back to that house, alone.

"When is the Colonel supposed to be back?" Falman asked behind me.

"Tuesday. They bury-" My voice gave out at the thought of it. "The funeral…is Monday. Mustang plans on being on the first train Tuesday. He should be back early evening." Which meant I was going to be alone for the weekend.

"How about this…" Sounded like Havoc had a plan. "Instead of going out, we all go over to Colonel's place, have a few drinks to honor the man, play some cards and try to have a good time? I know the guys were wanting to have another home cooked meal from you." Everyone's gaze shifted back to me. There seemed to be a bit eagerness in their stare. It was a bit intimidating, but I thought it was a brilliant plan. Anything sounded fabulous as long as it didn't end up with me being alone.

"Sure. Sounds good, just as long as you bring your own booze. I don't need to get a lecture from the Colonel when he returns." Even if he would believe I didn't drink any of it, I would still get hounded for letting these goons touch his prized collection. Everyone seemed to perk up a bit with the new plan in motion. Even I felt a bit better, knowing that I could count on my team to be there even when they didn't realize they were.

* * *

 _It was dark. Not so dark that I couldn't see what was in front of me, but just dark enough to make me second guess where my foot was landing. I was hunched over trying to catch my breath, my body completely covered in sweat._

" _Come on, we have to keep moving!" A hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward. I didn't want to go. It felt like my legs were going to fall off any second, not to mention my lungs didn't seem like they were working anymore. It hurt to breath. Our footsteps echoed frantically in the dark tunnels. I think we were underground somewhere?_

" _I can't." I forced myself to my knees. I just wanted the hand to let me go. I was only becoming dead weight. The grip around my wrist only tightened. They knelt down beside me just so they could help me back up to my feet. I wanted to cry._

" _Keep moving. It's catching up!" My stomach dropped hearing those words. It was coming. My fear once again fueling my legs to move. We were running what seemed like eternity, twisting and turning every corner we came at, not pausing too long for fear every second we gave it only gave it that much more time to catch up. My legs had gone numb, which caused me to trip over my own feet this time. The hand still didn't let go. I felt it only trying to get me back up._

" _Just go! I'm done. The way out has to be close, you can still make it." It was so hard to talk. Every breath was painful._

" _I'm not leaving you!" The hand only pulled harder._

" _Damn it Havoc! Just do what I say! For once in your life!" His face was clear for the first time. It held sheer terror as he kept trying to desperately get me back up._

My eyes slowly opened as I came back to reality. I was taking in my surroundings, trying to figure out where I was. I think I was in Mustang's personal office, on one of the couches. When did I move here, and more importantly, when did I fall asleep? The last thing I remember I was helping with the paperwork with Falman. Havoc and Breda went out to get lunch, while Fuery ran to the bathroom. I don't even remember laying my head down. I propped myself up and felt a little extra weight on my body. I flipped around on my back and sat up to look at what was on me. A uniform jacket? Must be one of guy's. It was pretty big. Covered more than half of my body. It's probably Breda's. It was all too weird. I've never passed out like that before, and the dream… What was that about? I brought my hands up to rub my eyes. They felt so dry! A quiet knock was at the door, followed by a slow door opening.

"Abby?" Havoc's face peeked in.

"I'm awake." My voice had a good frog in it. I tried to clear my throat but with little luck. I was going to need some water.

"How are you feeling?" He opened the door all the way and walked towards the couch to sit by me.

"Confused?" I guess that's the closest to what I'm feeling at the moment. "I'm trying to figure out how I ended up here. I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Oh, well, when Breda and I came back from lunch you were passed out on your desk. Falman said your head literally hit the desk and you didn't budge one bit. Even when he tried to get you up." That explains the small head pain. "So I carried you in here, and Breda lent you the coat, since his gave you the most body coverage." I looked back down at the jacket with a small smile. "So I guess his extra love does come in handy." Havoc's smile was a bit quirky. A quick scoff escaped my mouth.

"His what?" I wasn't sure if I was still half asleep or if I just heard him wrong.

"His extra love. That's what he calls his, well…extra fat. Says there's just more of him to love. He claims the ladies really dig it." My laughter was a bit loud and rough for my taste. I tried my best to quiet myself down by closing my mouth. It helped a bit. I just started shaking my head in disbelief. Leave it to them to get me to laugh at a time like this. "Seems like you're a bit better?" There was hope in his voice. I didn't know how to respond. It was still hard to accept the truth. I could still feel the small void in my heart, but maybe, I was a bit better.

"I'm fine." We sat there in silence until Falman came into the room.

"We're all ready to head out."

"Oh, alright. Do we need to stop anywhere first?" I stood up from the couch and made my way to Falman.

"Well we were all wanting to stop and get some beer…do you need to get anything for dinner tonight?" Good question. Not only did I not have clue what to make but I couldn't even remember what we had stocked at the house.

"Maybe. I guess we can all go shopping. Where are the other two?"

"They're in car, waiting." With that, we all exited the room, making sure Mustang's office was locked up behind us.

* * *

I picked up a few things at the grocery store, since I got an idea what to make there. I was just hoping that I was correct and had the other ingredients here at the house. I placed the few grocery bags on the floor in the kitchen while the men brought in the alcohol. They went a bit crazy with it. They couldn't agree what beer they wanted, and then they got in an argument about beer hogging, so they all ended up getting their own beer. I tried to get them to reconsider, but they were adamant that they were going to drink it all. I guess even if they didn't, they could always save it for another rainy day.

"Hey, Abby, where do you want to put all this?" Fuery was trying his best to hold up his case of beer.

"We can just put it by the fridge so it's easier to stock through the night."

"Okay." The rest of them lined up, stacking up their cases by the fridge. When they exited the kitchen, I saw them all pause at the door. I glanced up, trying to see what they were doing. They were just standing there. I walked over to see they were staring at something. My broken mug from this morning. Crap! I forgot to clean it up. I pushed past them and started carefully picking up the pieces. Luckily it broke in big pieces, with just a few small fragments. Just as I predicted, when I turned around, they were all staring at me with concern. Now I was going to need to convince that I'm fine, again.

"No need for those faces, I just had an accident this morning." I tried my best to give them a small smile. They didn't budge. "Why don't you guys go set up the table and start your gambling? I'm gonna get dinner ready." I moved past them to the kitchen again, and threw away the glass, cursing at myself for not picking it up before I left today. I sighed with some relief when I heard the boys setting up the dining table. They were even jabbing at each other about who was going to lose. I started loading the fridge with a few beers of each, while I waited for the oven to warm up. Even though I knew they were going to be worried about me all night, I couldn't help but be grateful they were here. I'd be much worse if they weren't.

* * *

Everyone was sitting around the table, now happily full from dinner. They all even had happy smirks on their faces. I admit it wasn't my best dish, but on such short notice, I did pretty good.

"Man, Colonel is one lucky guy. I'd kill to have this kind of cooking every night." Breda said while rubbing his stomach. It made me think of what Havoc said earlier today. Extra love. I snorted at the thought. I started to gather the dishes to put in the sink to soak for the night. Fuery even started to help.

"All right boys, where did we leave off?" I asked as I took the dishes to the sink, with Fuery right behind me.

"I think you were about to lose, Lovington." I hear the cocky smirk on Havoc's face. It pissed me off. Fuery and I entered the dining room after we placed the dishes in the sink.

"I guess we'll find out." I said as I sat down and everyone picked up their cards. I wasn't doing too bad. I was in third place, but soon, I would beat Falman. I could feel it! Poor Fuery was losing just about every time, he just didn't have a poker face. Falman's poker face was decent, he was even second best from Havoc. Breda however, just couldn't get a good hand. Then again, the more drunk Breda got, the easier it was to read him. Whereas the more drunk Falman and Havoc got, the harder it was to read them. Havoc put his cards down to light his cigarette that he had in his mouth for a while.

"I'm out." Fuery set his cards down in defeat once again.

"Me too." Falman followed. It was down to us three. Breda has a decent hand, but real question is, how decent? I had no idea what Havoc might have. It irked me that I couldn't ever get a good read on him.

"I raise." Breda said throwing in an extra $10.

"I call." I threw in another $10. Havoc matched, while giving me a nice big smile. Bastard! The three of us eyed each other before flipping our cards over. My head hit the table when I saw Havoc's hand. He had a great hand! Breda was mumbling something under his breath as Havoc gathered up his loot. Probably calling him a dirty bastard, because that's what I was doing.

"Alright, keep them coming!" Havoc's smile couldn't be any cockier. If I continued to play I wouldn't have any pride left. I stood up and headed back into the kitchen.

"Whoa! Lovington, where are you going? We have another round!" Havoc protested my disappearance. Everyone else seemed to be up for it. It was like they were determined to beat Havoc.

"I'm done for the night. I don't need to fuel your ego anymore." I started to the stove and placed my tea kettle on the fire. I'd probably be having a more enjoyable time throwing my money away if I was able to drink something with a little more kick to it. I guess I'll just have to settle with my calming chamomile tea. I made my way back into the dining the area while I waited for my water to start boiling only to see two empty seats. "Where did Breda and Havoc go?" Havoc's been smoking inside all night, so I found it odd that he would suddenly be going outside now, and Breda disappearing with him only made me more suspicious. Falman and Fuery didn't even look up from their cards, they just pointed in the direction of the liquor cabinet. My mind filled with panic when I saw two bodies standing there with the cabinet door wide open. "Hey!" I ran over to try and squeeze myself in between the two of them.

"Oh good you're here! Now you can help us choose!" Breda seemed excited.

"We're not choosing anything! This is Mustang's special collection, if he finds out we drank even a drop from ANY bottle, my ass is ash!"

"Wow! I can believe he has this! It's a good year too!" Havoc was examining one of the best Scotch Mustang had. Even he barely drank any of it. He only opened that bottle when things were really bad, like last night. I quickly snatched the bottle away from Havoc, seeing how much Mustang drank last night. I placed the bottle back where it was and tried closing the cabinet doors. Havoc's hand was in the way, and he didn't want to budge.

"I'm serious Havoc, you're not getting your hands on this!" We were now having a tug-of-war with the door, and I was unfortunately loosing.

"We're just going to have one shot Lovington. No reason to lose your cool." It only upset me more hearing him say that. I started pulling on the door even harder. Havoc's other hand gently covered both of my hands that were on the door. I realized for the first time that he's only been using one hand this whole time, while I've been using both of mine with all my might. Talk about having upper strength. "It's for Hughes." I stopped pulling then. I never understood taking an alcoholic shot in "honor" of a fellow comrade. Mustang seemed to take the gesture to heart, and if it helped to put ease to everyone else's hearts, then why should I stop them? I'm sure Mustang would understand, as long as it was only one shot from each of us, and if we used one of his lease favorite bottles. I slipped my hand out from under Havoc's hand and grabbed one of the bottles up front.

"Just one." I held the bottle up to Havoc without looking at him. Just then I heard the kettle start to whistle violently. I ran back into the kitchen and placed the kettle on a different, more cool burner.

"Hey, Lovington, when you come back in here, can you bring five shot glasses?" Breda's shouted from the dining room.

"I'll bring in four. I'm not-"

"Yes you are." Havoc cut me off. Apparently I no longer had reign in this house. I prepared my cup of tea and left it on the counter as I went back to the dining room with the five glasses. I figured I'd let it steep while I broke my promise to Mustang. I laid out all the glasses in front of Havoc as he poured in the liquor. I passed out the full shot glasses to everyone, making me being the last to receive mine. Everyone just stood around, as if debating what to do. Were we waiting for someone to say something? Someone should say something. I cleared my throat quickly and slightly raised my glass. Everyone's eyes fell on me. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? There were no words that I could use to describe how much I was going to miss Hughes. No words could describe the pain I felt in my heart, but I had to say something. For Hughes sake.

"To Hugh-" I remembered then, the last conversation I had with him. A smile slowly crept on my face as I cleared my throat again before I corrected myself. "To Maes. A man who will be greatly missed, and always remembered." I took my swig and slammed my glass on the table as I fought the tears back. I know I should have said more, but I couldn't. Fuery was now coughing from the liquor. He normally stayed away from the hard stuff. "Alright…so, where were we?"

* * *

The night was getting late, and the boys were running out of money. Except Havoc of course. Fuery was doing a little better, since I started to team up with him. I think he won half his back. I was curled up in my chair right next to him, with my cup of tea. I would lean in sometimes to help him arrange his cards and every time we would get nasty glares from the other three.

"Ok fellas, I think this will be the last game, and then we call it quits." Falman said after a big yawn. My stomach sank a bit thinking I would be left alone here again.

"You know, it's pretty late. I'm pretty sure the taxi services are closed, and you're all too drunk to drive." I was hoping I didn't sound desperate. Everyone glanced up at the clock to see the time. It was just a bit after 3:30AM. "Why don't you guys just crash here for the night?" Their eyes seemed so tired when they went back to the cards.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Breda said as he put his cards face down and took a nice stretch. Everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.

"Where are we going to sleep though?" I almost couldn't make out what Fuery asked. He defiantly needed to call it a night and sleep all this off.

"Well I still have the cot that I bought for Havoc when he was staying here, and someone could take Mustang's bed."

"Dibs." Is all Havoc said.

"Me too." Breda chimed in.

"I don't think so." Apparently Havoc didn't want to share.

"What? Why not! It's not like we both can't fit."

"I'm not sharing a bed with you ever again." Havoc discarded some of his cards and pulled from the pile.

"Are you still holding a grudge from the Academy? I didn't do it on purpose!"

"You better not of done it on purpose! Besides, I'm not giving you another chance." That's right. Breda and Havoc were roommates back then. I remember hearing rumors of someone catching them in bed together. Apparently, Breda's a sleep walker and crawled right in bed with Havoc. It took Havoc weeks to get the rumor to clear.

"Fine, then I get the cot." Breda mumbled as he shuffled his new cards in his hands.

"Sorry Breda, but I'm giving the cot to Fuery." I said before taking a sip of my tea.

"What!? That's not right! Why does he get it?"

"Because he's my favorite, and I'm not going to have him sleep on the floor!"

"Well were are am I supposed to sleep?"

"Yay! I'm Abby's favorite!" Fuery threw his cards in the air and turned to hug me.

"Fuery! You had a really good hand." I said in between giggles. He started to rub his cheek against mine.

"Hey you two, get a room if you're gonna do that!" Havoc stood up and tried his best to pull Fuery away from me. Falman's arm that was holding his cards fell off the table causing all his cards to fall to the floor. He started snoring away immediately. I think poker was over. Fuery finally let go of me, and I stood up right away to run into the kitchen. I set my tea cup in the sink and giggled to myself as I heard Fuery and Havoc argue, with Breda trying to put in his piece about the cot. I couldn't help but sigh when I saw the mess I had to clean in the morning. I guess it would keep me busy through the weekend…if I took my sweet time. "It's good to see you smiling." Havoc was somehow next to me. I didn't even notice him coming him. He didn't even seem to be drunk like the rest of them. Just how much would he need to drink? "We were all worried about you."

"Sorry." I didn't want them to worry about me. I was going to be fine. I just needed to make it through this night, and I should be fine.

"You know it's okay to cry, right? We wouldn't think any less of you."

"I know? I'm fine. Honest." I tried my best to smile. It suddenly became hard to do. Why was he saying this? It was making me uncomfortable. I didn't want to cry anymore. I've done it enough to last me a lifetime already.

"Okay, and just know that if you need anything we are always going to be here for you…" I couldn't hear him anymore. I was getting so frustrated by his words that all I could hear was my blood pumping in my veins. I didn't want to hear another word about how everything was going to be ok, or who was there for me. I already knew everything he was saying to me. I just didn't need to hear it. I didn't want to talk about Hughes. I didn't want to discuss how broken I felt or how I was trying my best to keep it together. I just wanted everyone to ignore my pain just like how I was trying to.

"I SAID I'M FINE HAVOC!" My hand slammed on the counter, cutting him off before he could say another word. We both stood there in shock. I didn't mean to snap. I just wanted him to stop talking, but that was no reason to yell at him like that. He was only expressing his concern. "Sorry." I quickly turned around and walked out of the kitchen. He didn't follow. Breda seemed to have heard the commotion. He was cautious with me. Falman was still passed out and Fuery was trying his best to stand up. "Breda, help me get Fuery to the couch until I'm able to set up the cot for him."

* * *

Everyone was tucked away in bed, snoring away. I had lit a fire in the fireplace to keep Breda, who chose to sleep on the floor next to Fuery, warm. Breda and I decided to leave Falman where he was and he could move himself if he ever woke up. Havoc had snuck away into the Mustang's room without saying another word to anyone. As for me, I was able to fall asleep a lot easier than I thought I would. I passed out pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow, but I was restless in bed. My body was shifting all over and low whimpers escaped my mouth as my nightmare from later continued…

 _We were still running with all we had, and we didn't have much more in us. It would only be a matter of minutes before we would fall from exhaustion. It seemed like no matter how far we ran the monster was right on our heels. Then we saw it. Daylight! It was glowing out of the door right in front of us. Havoc's hand that was already holding mine tightened as he picked up his pace. I tried my best to keep up without stumbling. I could feel the tears of relief seeing the light come out of the door. We didn't slow down when we reach the door, we just slammed our bodies and fell right in. We were both panting hysterically on the floor, trying to desperately catch our breath before our lungs exploded. We were also taking in our surroundings, noticing that there were no surroundings. I propped myself up on my arm to try to get a better look at the room. There was nothing. It was a pure white, empty room. I couldn't even tell if there were walls or if it ever ended. Havoc stood up and started walking more into the room, trying to figure out what this place was. I followed him as my breath slowly started to come back. It was so bright, it sort of hurt my eyes. Then, almost in an instant, a shiver went down my back, paralyzing me. My body started to shake as I slowly turned around to the door we entered. All I could see was darkness. Then, there were these beading red eyes, glowing in that darkness. I had lost my breath all over again and couldn't seem to catch it. Havoc didn't realize the danger we were once again in. He was still facing the other way, analyzing the room._

" _Ha-Hav-Ha-Havo-" I was trying so hard to get his attention, but my voice was so small and I couldn't seem to form the words I wanted. He was only just a few feet away, but it felt like more. My body only started to shake more when I couldn't call for help. Then I heard it. It wasn't like a gun shot, but it was the closest thing I could describe it as. Havoc's body went very still, as did mine. My eyes widened in horror as I turned to look at Havoc to see blood running down his back. He fell to his knees, and then hit the ground with his full body. My breathing only quickened more as I watched him bleed out. Fear and anger overwhelmed my body as I quickly looked back at the beast, but they were too fast. I didn't even have time to think of what to do before something had stabbed me right in the throat. I too fell to the ground and saw my own blood rush out of my body and onto the floor. My eyes then found Havoc's lifeless body, once more. I reached out to him, trying to desperately erase the distance between. This isn't how I wanted it to end…._

"NO!" I shot up in bed, covered in sweat and tears. My body was shaking like it was in the nightmare. I was shaken badly. It all felt real. Was it real? I had stopped breathing as I remember seeing Havoc's body, lifeless and covered in blood. I shot out of bed and very clumsily ripped my door open as I ran down the hall to Mustang's room. I started to bang on the door, with no consideration of who was all trying to sleep. I stood there for a few seconds before banging on the door again. I wasn't hearing any type of life on the other side. My body started to shake even more with the thought of my dream being real. Just as I was about to bang on the door even harder, it finally swung open. Havoc was leaning on it, as if to support his still bed ridden body.

"Yah, what is it?" He was rubbing one of his eyes, trying to wake himself up. He obviously didn't sound happy. I could feel the instant relief of my nightmare wash away, but it didn't stop the shaking. Havoc opened his eyes a bit more to see who was staying silent at the door. When he saw the condition I was in, his eyes shot wide open and I could tell he was fully awake now. "Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?" He was hesitant to reach out and touch me. I didn't care. I didn't know how to answer. I could feel the tears start to fall down my cheek, and I didn't care. I knew there was no stopping them, nor was I in the right mind set to try and stop them. There was only one thing that I knew at this time.

"I'm…I'm not fine." I whimpered out before I ran into his body, with his arms holding onto me to balance us out so we didn't go falling down on the floor. I tried my best to muffle my sobs in his bare chest, but I had a feeling I wasn't succeeding very well. Havoc only held onto me tighter, placing one hand on my head.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I couldn't answer his question, because to me, it wasn't just a nightmare. It was real. It was so real.

"Is everything alright?" My body stiffened a bit when I heard Breda behind me.

"Yah, I think she had a bad nightmare. I'm gonna take her back to her room when I settle her down." Hearing that only started my panic all over. I didn't want to go back into the bed. I didn't want to have another nightmare. My grip on Havoc tightened greatly.

"No. Please. I don't want to be alone!" Havoc pressed on my head slightly while he gently shushed me.

"It's okay. It's alright." I could tell he was debating what to do. It was wrong for me to be in the same room as him for more than one reason. First and most important reason, he has a girlfriend. Second, this was Mustang's room and he was very conservative about bedroom morals. I just didn't care. I know it was wrong of me to be asking this, but I needed him. Not Breda, not Fuery, and defiantly not Falman. "Come on." Havoc started to guide me into the bedroom without closing the door. I was fine with that. To be honest, it made me feel a bit better about the whole thing. He tucked me in where he was just sleeping. The bed was still warm from his very living body. I could hear both Breda and him mumbling in the door way. I noticed that Havoc was still in his jeans from today. Was he sleeping in them? I guess if I was sleeping in some other person's bed, I wouldn't want to sleep in just my underwear. It would be a bit rude, and probably unsettling. Then again, he could have just put them on before he answered the door. My mind was fixating on how the bed smelt. It was a perfect mixture of Havoc and Mustang. I couldn't feel more safe now. My body even started to settle down with the shaking. Breda had finally turned back around to head back to bed. I could see the concern in his eyes before he disappeared. Havoc also turned around and grabbed his under shirt that he was wearing earlier today from the floor. He slipped it on before hopping on the other side of the bed.

"You know you could use some of Mustang's pajamas."

"Thanks, but I don't think they'll fit." Havoc said as he made himself comfortable.

"Oh yah, you're taller than him. Sorry." He wasn't going to get under the covers? In a sense I was fine with it, except that I felt guilty that he had no covers. "If you want, I can get my quilt from my room for you?"

"I'll be fine. It's a bit too hot for covers anyways." I still couldn't help but feel guilty, but I was more at ease. "Do you want to talk about it?" He was watching me carefully now. I suppose I should explain why I was so worked up. I started to explain everything. I didn't inform him that he was also in the dream. I merely stated that I couldn't see the face, but knew the person was dear to me. Which wasn't all a lie. At first I didn't know it was Havoc. When I finished, he patted my head few times, but as he stopped he didn't remove his hand.

"Try and get some sleep now. Things will be better in the morning." He said as he yawned. I slowly closed my eyes and let myself drift off to a dreamless, what was left of the night, sleep.

* * *

As I slowly opened my eyes I could see the sun shining brightly through the window. I couldn't tell what time it was. Everything that happened last night seemed distant. I could hear some commotion downstairs. It sounded like someone was cleaning. As I tried to shift my body to lay on my back, I felt a small weight on my body. I realized that one of Havoc's arms was lying on me. I tried to gently lift it off and put it to the side, but it only stirred him to pull me in closer. Clearly he wasn't awake, but it didn't stop my heart from pounding.

"Hey, Havoc?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry to wake you, but…I'd like to get up." He took a deep breath in and shifted a bit.

"Okay." He didn't budge. Was he even awake?

"Havoc?" I felt him lift his head then, and almost immediately he unwrapped his arms and pushed himself up in bed.

"Sorry." I looked over my shoulder to see him rubbing his face with his hands. There was a crash sound from downstairs. It sounded like a plate. "What's going on?"

"Not sure. I think someone's cleaning, or I guess I should say, trying to clean." I pushed myself out of bed and walked to the still opened door. I paused before leaving, remembering what I was wearing. My robe was in my room. I didn't really want to take the chance of running to grab it and having someone see me in my nightie. I didn't know who was all still here, or where they all were. I checked behind Mustang's bedroom door and sighed with relief. He left his robe behind. Thank God! Now I can use it! I slipped it over my body and walked out to the stairs. As I made my way down I could see everyone was still accounted for in their beds, everyone except Fuery. I decided to check the kitchen first, since that's where all the noise seemed to be coming from.

"Fuery?" There he was, already more than half way done with the dishes from last night. He was seemed embarrassed when he saw me coming in.

"Sorry. Did I wake you with all the noise?"

"No, your fine, but you didn't have to clean."

"Don't be silly! I wasn't just going to leave all this mess for you to clean." Yah, except I was planning on this mess to keep me busy for the whole weekend.

"Thanks, but honestly Fuery, I'll be fine. It'll help me keep my mind off things." He stopped with his scrubbing and seemed a bit troubled by my words.

"Sorry, I guess you're right."

"You don't need to apologize. I do appreciate you trying to help." I was standing by him now and gently bumped my body with his. He gave me a small smile, to match mine.

"You know if you run out of things to do here, you can always give me call. Maybe you can help me with my poker skills." I started to giggle, remembering last night.

"Sounds good to me. I haven't had a challenge in forever!" I gave him a hug from the side. "Thanks, Fuery." He gave my arms a small squeeze.

"Aren't we just getting chummy." Havoc was now in the kitchen. He pulled up a seat at the island.

"No need to be jealous." There was playfulness in Fuery's voice. It surprised me.

"Who said anything about being jealous? Besides, I got enough love last nigh-" Havoc cut himself off when he realized what he was saying. Our eyes met, and we both had to look away, blushing. Fuery seemed confused.

"Anyway! Who wants breakfast?" I needed to change the topic before question started to fly. Also, I wanted to make the dishes Fuery just washed dirty again. I was kinda hoping that the smell of bacon would force Breda and Falman to wake up.

"Oh! Can you make french toast?" Fuery asked as he pulled some milk out of the fridge.

"Maybe…how many eggs do I have in the fridge?" Fuery opened the egg carton and started to count. Judging by the small pause for his counting, I had enough.

"8. Is that going to be enough?"

"Of course." I then stopped and thought about who it was I was about to feed. We ran out of food very quickly last night. Fuery and Falman had a good appetite, but between Breda and Havoc, they were like an army of their own when it came to feeding. "Or I guess I should say, I hope so." Fuery pulled out the eggs and set them by the stove. I grabbed the bread, that was a little more than half way full. "Fuery, could you also pull the bacon?" I guess they could always fill themselves up with bacon. Mustang and I don't really ever eat the stuff. Every once in a while I would treat Mustang to it, but that was it. Plus, there was some fresh fruit, so either way they would be leaving with full bellies! I cracked open the first egg and dropped it into a bowl while I waited for my pan to warm up on the stove.

"Oh, good morning Breda." Fuery welcomed our newly awakened guest. Breda was shuffling his feet on the kitchen floor and plopped his butt next to Havoc. His eyes were still more than half way closed.

"Wow, I'm impressed. I didn't even start the bacon and you're already up?"

"Was that a compliment?" His voice sounded so rough.

"Only if you want it to be."

"Where's Falman? I thought he was a light sleeper?" Havoc chipped in.

"Usually he is, but he practically drank himself to death last night. I don't think even a fret train could wake him up now." Breda made a big yawn.

"Hmm, well more food for you guys then." Breda seemed more cheerful with that. Even I was feeling a bit better. Everything that happened yesterday didn't seem real. Like it was just one bad dream, but I knew better. I know thinking and pretending anything different wasn't going to help, but having these guys here with me, to help me forget even if it's just for a moment, makes me grateful beyond belief.

"Hey you guys, knock it off!" I glanced behind me to see Breda and Havoc looking bored as they slowly pile everything that was on the island in front of Fuery's spot. The more Fuery tried to put everything back, the faster they started to pile. Fuery ended up giving up and left the kitchen. I shook my head and laughed quietly to myself as I went back to preparing the food. If there was ever a moment I wanted to freeze and keep forever, it would be this one, but nothing's meant to last forever. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 11**

 **THANKS FOR READING!** :D

Alrighty, so to be honest I had no idea how to end this one...and I think it shows lmao I could've kept writing to where I wanted it to actually end but I think it would've just been dragged out, you know? It's not like I left anything important out. Just some more casual goings. So I don't know. If you think I should continue on with the chapter or you think it's fine where I left it, let me know what you think! :) **THANKS AGAIN!**


	12. Chapter 12: Military Ball

**XII**

~ The past few days have slowed down greatly at headquarters. Even the paperwork seemed to have dwindled down to nothing. Things were a bit...boring. Not that I was complaining. I was grateful that the paperwork was almost nonexistent. Especially after hearing that Mustang was finally getting his big transfer back to Central. The less things he had to take with him the better. I didn't know how I felt about the whole thing. As of now, he was the only being transferred. All of us were being left behind. Even Hawkeye. Of course I was beyond happy that he was getting what he's wanted for so long but at the same time, I already felt lonely knowing he'd be so far away. The past few days when he would come home he would reassure me that he was going to get a transfer for all of us. Hawkeye, Breda, Fuery, Havoc, Falman, and I. Of course, I couldn't go around spreading the news with others. It was something that had to stay quiet just in case things didn't fall through. Being honest, I wasn't expecting things to fall through. Eastern Headquarters was already losing an asset; I don't think they would allow several others to leave. My grip tightened on the last bit of paperwork that I held to my chest. I was waiting outside of General Grumman's office. I was needing Mustang's signature on a few pages before I could file them as complete, but intruding on their game was unacceptable. Just as I was finishing my millionth yawn Grumman's door opened. Mustang was walking out with Grumman's chessboard in his arm. I turned toward him giving him a quick salute. He looked a bit surprised seeing me outside the door.

"Is there something you need, Lovignton?"

"Yes sir. I was just needing your signature on a few pages." I held out the clipboard toward him, and exchanged it with the chess board. "I've highlighted all the places that are needed. This should be the last of them." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and started to sign. He had a small smile on his face. Normally when he leaves Grumman's there's a bit of a pout from defeat, but today, he was almost glowing. "How was the game, sir?" His hand stopped moving and he peered at me with his eyes. There was defiantly some cockiness behind them. He must have finally won.

"After all this time, I finally got my victory." He flipped a page over and continued to sign away.

"Congratulations!" I gave him the biggest smile I could. He gave me a sly one back. I know he was always trying to get his win, but deep down I couldn't help but feel he was always messing around with Grumman. Mustang flipped the pages back together from the beginning and handed me the clipboard back.

"Is everyone in the office?"

"No sir. They're all out and about, but I think Hawkeye is waiting for you in your office?"

"I'm going to need you to round everyone up and report back to my office ASAP. I have something to discuss with all of you." He started walking off towards his office.

"Yes sir." I would have saluted but my arms were a bit full since he didn't take the chess board back. I watched him walk off, curious about the little bounce in his step. I then made my way towards the other end of the hall, looking for the rest of the troops.

"Oh, Fuery!" That was fast. Hopefully finding the rest of them would be this easy. Fuery turned around, facing me as I stopped in front of him. "The Colonel is wanting everyone to gather in his room immediately. Apparently he has something he needs to discuss. So I'd start making your way down." I tried to readjust the chess board in my arm before it fell to the ground.

"Let me take those from you." Fuery grabbed the both the chess board and clipboard from me.

"Thanks."

"No problem. What do you think he wants to talk about? Do you think something happened?"

"No…nothing bad at least. He seems to be in a good mood actually. Which is weird on its own."

"Hmm…well I'll make my way there and drop these off for you." Fuery indicated with the items in his arms.

"Thanks, and if you see any of the others, could you tell them to head for the office?"

"Will do." Fuery gave me a small smile before making his way toward the office. Alright, one down, three more to do go.

* * *

Falman, Breda and I had finally reach the office after searching for Havoc, with no luck in finding him. We were hoping he was already here in the office, and just as our luck would have it, he was.

"It's about time you guys showed up. We were all wondering if you had gotten lost." He said with a smug smile. We just glared at him as we all made our way into Mustang's personal office. Hawkeye was, of course, already there waiting for the rest of us in front of Mustang's desk. We lined ourselves up with her.

"Sir, everyone is here." Hawkeye said quietly. Mustang had been facing the window the whole time. He turned around, facing us for the first time since we entered. There was determination written all over his face.

"Master Sergeant Kain Fuery, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, Second Lieutenant Abby Lovington, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye…Gather up your things. All six of you are transferring to Central with me..." My eyes widened with surprise. "And no objections. Understood?" We all saluted him simultaneously. Our eyes locked for a moment as I gave him a heartwarming smile, before he turned back around looking out the window once more. He actually did it. It wasn't even a discussion; we were all going with him. Just then Havoc seemed troubled. He walked over by Mustang with no hesitation.

"I've got a problem sir. See, I just started dating this girl and I really like her." Oh yah. That's right. I wonder what will happen with Emily? Will she come to Central with Havoc?

"Dump her." Mustang said it so casually. It shocked us all, but more for Havoc. He was completely shattered by his words, but for me, I couldn't help but hide a smile as everyone went to comfort Havoc. "That goes for you as well, Lovington." Mustang gaze shifted to me. Huh? What was he talking about? Wait…he couldn't mean-

"You're not talking about Earl are you?" I seemed a bit panicked. Who even told him about Earl?

"So that's his name." Mustang's eyes sank into a hard gaze.

"You've got it wrong Colonel! I'm not dating-"

"No need to be shy, Lovington." Breda had a smug look about him, obviously trying to make things more difficult for me.

"Shut up Breda! Honestly Colonel I-"

"Doesn't matter, just make sure you end it before we leave. It doesn't have to be right away. At least wait until the Ball is over."

"But there's nothing to end!"

"That's is all, you're all dismissed." Why do I have a feeling he didn't hear a word I just said. I hope things won't be awkward at the Ball. Oh yah! The Ball's tomorrow. I should actually stop by and see Earl to make sure everything's still in order. After all that's happened the past few weeks, I'm finally feeling excited about something.

* * *

It was the evening of the Military Ball and I had just finished with my hair. I had decided to go with a nice half up, half down do and I had to say, I couldn't look any better! Even my make-up was on point. Now the only thing left was to put on the dress. As I slipped it on, I remembered I was going to need another body to help me lace it up. I know Mustang and I are close and what not, but I couldn't possibly ask him to do it. I guess I would have to wait for Hawkeye to get here to ask her. She should be here any minute anyways.

"Abby, I'll be leaving now. Are you sure you're not needing a ride?" Perfect timing! I cracked open my bedroom door and stuck my head out.

"No I don't, but could you ask Hawkeye to come up here please? I need help with my dress." I could hear him mumbling something off in the distance as he opened the front door. Moments later I could hear Hawkeye and him discussing something.

"I don't know…she needs help with her dress, or something?" I could hear Riza walking up the steps in her high heels. My eyes lit up when I saw her. She was beyond beautiful! The dress she had picked suited her perfectly. It was silk light blue, almost silver looking form fitting dress. It ended just before her ankles but had a slit on one side that came up to her high thigh, along with a very seductive low cut top. She even let her down this time. I always envied her hair!

"Well look at you!" My compliment didn't faze her. She entered my room and shut the door behind her. "Thanks, you're truly a life saver!" I turned my back to her so she could start lacing me up.

"You look very cute." I could hear the small smile on her face. Unlike Riza, her compliment had me blushing. I couldn't help but think about the evening ahead. I actually had a date...or at least a reason to really doll myself up this year. Just thinking about it got my heart racing. "Now this gentleman you're bringing this year, will be a gentleman right?" Why does she sound like my mother all of sudden?

"Of course!"

"Alright, but I don't think I need to tell you that the Colonel will have his eyes on him for the evening."

"Stop! I'm already nervous as it is!" Seriously… Riza just chuckled.

"How's this? Is it tight enough?" I moved around in my dress a bit, testing it out.

"Yep, feels good. Thanks again!" I turned around facing her with a grateful smile. Her eyes had a warm gaze to them when I faced her.

"Why don't you come down and let the Colonel see you."

"No, it's good. I'll see you guys when I get there."

"Come on now, I'm sure he would want to see you before he leaves." Riza linked arms with me and started to guide me to the stairs. I was suddenly feeling shy. "Sorry to keep you waiting, sir." Mustang turned around and seemed to be frozen from shock. Who could blame him? Two captivating women right before his eyes, I would've felt a bit insulted if he didn't react like this, but it didn't stop me from feeling nervous. "Well what do you think?" There was a sense of playfulness in Riza's voice. I shyly looked at Mustang, waiting for his answer. That warm gaze that Riza had just a moment ago was now in Mustang's eyes.

"Beautiful. Both of you." Some of my muscles relaxed with his response. I was even able to smile more naturally. "Am not going to have to worry about you tonight, am I?" And there went that moment.

"No! Jeez, I'm grown adult woman! I can take care of myself!"

"That's what I'm worried about." He mumbled it, making it almost inaudible, but I caught it. I was a bit surprised. "You have your gloves right?"

"Oh, yah…" I reached down the front of my dress pulling out my alchemy gloves. "But I don't think I'll need them." I hesitantly shoved them back in place.

"I prefer if you did. Better safe than sorry." I guess he had a point. "Well, we should get going." Riza broke away from me and walked towards the door. "You sure you don't need a ride?"

"I'm sure. Earl said he would pick me up a little after 7:00, so he should be here any moment."

"Alright, we'll see you there." I waved to him as he shut the door. Now all I had to do was wait in anticipation. I had talked to Earl yesterday explaining all that I could about the Ball and gave him directions to Mustang's. He found humorous for some reason. I even ended up telling him about Central and the transfer. He seemed rather disappointed about it, but still congratulated me with a smile. I honestly thought that he would've cancelled on me. A part of me almost wanted him to. This was the closest thing I've had to a date in years. I honestly can't remember the last date I had. I think it was right before I had signed up for the Military, and it didn't end so great. No wonder my nerves were going into over drive. I wanted the night to be over with just for my heart's sake. Several minutes had gone by, but there was still no sign of Earl. I wonder if he got lost? He's never been over in this neighborhood before, and I'm horrible when it comes to giving directions. Just then I saw a pair of headlights outside the house. I glanced out the window and saw the car turned off and the person who was driving get out. My heart leaped into my throat as I rushed over to the door to put my heels on. I quickly slipped them on and opened the door, making sure it was locked before closing it.

"It's about time. I thought you were lost…" My voice trailed off when I saw who was standing just a few feet away. "What are you doing here?" I was trying to put the pieces in my head together to come up with a valid reason why Havoc was here instead of Earl. He hasn't moved since I walked outside and his staring was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. "What?" My last question got him to blink a few times, and he finally walked over, closing the last few feet between us.

"Sorry, Earl had called me earlier today. Said he ended up getting stuck with a shift. So he asked if I could come pick you up."

"Oh." I felt a bit disappointed. So now I was going dateless.

"But he said he would show up a bit later. As long as I didn't mind entertaining you for the mean time."

"Oh, so he's still coming?" Havoc nodded his head a few times. Thank goodness! "Wait a sec, how did Earl get your number?" Havoc chuckled at my suspicious expression.

"Remember that time you got wasted at the bar?"

"Which time?" I felt a bit uneasy that I had to ask that.

"The night…Nina passed away." A quick, sharp pain went through my heart. "Anyway, when I went back to pay your tab, I gave him my number so next time he could just call me to come get you." Jeez, could I be any more pathetic. Always having someone watching out for me. My eyes then locked onto the item Havoc was holding. I couldn't quite make it out in the dark. "What's that?"

"Oh yah, he dropped this off for me to give to you." Havoc opened up the clear box and gently took out a beautiful corsage. Now I know why Earl was pushing about my dress color. I couldn't help but give a quick laugh.

"He does know it's not one of those occasions, right?" No one wore these type of things to the Military Ball. It was more about the high priced jewelry and expensive champagne.

"Trust me, I already tried to explain, but he insisted." Havoc set the plastic box to the side and held up the flower. It really was pretty. I kinda felt bad that Earl wasn't here to put it on.

"Maybe I should wait for him to put it on."

"That's what I said, but he said you had to wear it as soon as possible." He took a step closer. "Something about not wasting a beautiful moment? I don't know. He said it better."

"Still…"

"Would you just give me your hand." He said it so sternly but still with a chuckle, while reaching down and grabbing my hand. "You're so stubborn." He smoothly slipped the corsage on my wrist. The sensation sent tingles up my arm. We both stood as still as we possibly could, looking at the flower placed on my wrist. "Perfect." That one word sent my heart racing. I didn't dare look up to him for fear he would see everything written on my face. Is it me, or did the night air get a bit…warmer? "Well…we should get going. No reason to be any later than what we are." He briskly turned around and headed straight for the car. I was a bit surprised to see him opening the front passenger door, holding out his hand for me, like last time. That time it had sent me into a world of happiness, but now I was unsure. I peeked in the back seat to see it was empty. I hesitantly took Havoc's hand as he guided me into the car.

"Where's Emily?" I asked before he shut the door on me. I watched him walk around the car with a troubled expression. As he got in and started the car I continued to stare, waiting for an answer.

"Emily won't be making it...we broke up." He said it so quietly. There was great sadness in his expression.

"I'm sorry..." I didn't know what else to say. We sat there for a moment, in silence, before Havoc spoke up.

"When I told her about the transfer, she broke down almost immediately. She even tried convincing me to let her move with me, but...it just didn't make sense you know?" I hate the pained expression on his face. "I mean, we just started dating. Plus, she really loves her job here and to take her away from it, when for all we know the relationship wouldn't work...I couldn't do it. I had convince her to reconsider and apologized at least a dozen times." He fell silent again for a moment. "To be honest, I wasn't going to come tonight, but Earl wouldn't let up until I agreed to take you." He said with a sad chuckle, putting the car in gear. I wish I knew what to do, what to say, to get that expression off his face. Maybe he'll perk up when he gets a few drinks in him? Loosen him up a bit. "Anyway...ready?" He looked at me, waiting for my response.

"Yes sir!" As Havoc stepped on the gas, my heart raced with anticipation for what was waiting this evening.

* * *

As Havoc and I climbed the stairs to the Military Banquet Hall, I had to loop my arm with Havoc's for support. I'm use to heels and what not, but this dress was an all new experience. I had to hold my dress up with my other hand. I could feel Havoc's body heat through his dress jacket where are bodies were touching. The night air did have a good nip to it. I probably should have brought a coat as well. Oh well. When we reach the top of the stairs, I started to take my arm back from Havoc. It sent my heart back in a dangerous speed when he placed my arm right back where it was.

"You're fine. We have another set of stairs to go down inside, right?" He gave me a gentle smile.

"Yah..."

"Plus, until your actual date gets here, I'm your escort for the evening." There was no doubt in my mind that I was blushing. This would be the first time Havoc and I came together to this event. Something I had always wanted. I shook my head quickly trying to reevaluate my thoughts. I was here with Earl. Not Havoc. I'm suppose to be moving on from Havoc. "You okay?" I glanced up to see him starring at me with an odd look.

"Oh, yah. I'm fine." I laughed nervously, trying my best to brush everything off. As we reached the door, Havoc slipped from my grip so he could open the door. Still holding onto my hand, he guided me through the door first, as he followed right behind, placing my arm back with his when we were both through. Seriously, what was Earl thinking? He could have called me and told me to go on ahead without him. Then again, I guess he didn't have any way of contacting since I never did give him the house number. I was too nervous if Mustang was ever the one to answer the phone. As we reached the bottom of the stairs, I gave my ticket to one of the security guards, stating it was for my plus one when he arrived. We looked around to see who was all here. It seems the ballroom was already open for dancing. There were still some bodies in the lounge, mingling. I spotted Mustang schmoozing with some high ups from Central, with Hawkeye right at his side. Even in her stunning dress, she still looks like a body guard. I look over the room once more when my gaze set on one person.

"Jessica?" She heard me say her name, and looked over at me. The moment she processed that I was here, she started to run my way. I followed suit and broke away from Havoc.

"Oh my God!" We grabbed each other's hand and started to jump around like boy crazed school girls. "It's been too long!"

"I know! I'm happy that you came this year!" We now were embracing each other, squealing a little too loud. People around us were watching us, some disturbed, others seemed to enjoy outburst.

"We have SO much to catch up on! I hope your evening is free."

"We'll see. I actually have a date this year." I boasted with a big smile.

"Good for you, and as for me..." Jessica showed off her left hand, making a certain diamond ring shine beautifully on her ring finger.

"What?!" I grabbed her hand and brought it closer to my face, analyzing the ring. "Oh my goodness-Congratulations!" I brought her in for another hug.

"Thank you! I waited to tell you now because I wanted to ask you personally to be in my wedding?"

"Of course!" We both started to squeal again.

"Hey you two, quiet it down. You're disturbing a lot of people." Havoc had finally made his way over, holding two full champagne glasses.

"No one asked _you_ Havoc." Jessica glared him down. I guess she still hasn't warmed up to him. He returned her glare and handed me one of the glasses.

"Oh, thank you." I accepted it with a shy smile. I looked back at Jessica as I took a sip, who now had a very confused look.

"Wait...don't tell me _he's_ your date?" I started choking on my drink, with champagne almost coming out my nose.

"Whoa, you okay?" Havoc started to pat my back as I continued to choke.

"I'm-cough-fine..."

"I don't believe this." Jessica was jumping to conclusions.

"No! We're not-cough-cough-He's not my date!" I finally manage to spit it out. "My date won't be coming till a bit later, so Havoc is just escorting me till then. One of Jessica's eyebrows went up. She didn't seem to believe me.

"Then where's your date, Havoc?"

"Don't have one."

"Pfft, that's a first." Oh boy. They're gonna start arguing. It's never a pretty sight when these two get going. Havoc started to open his mouth to counter attack Jessica's statement, when I grabbed his drink out of his hands, shutting him up. I quickly set our drinks down and wrapped my arm around his again.

"Now, now you two, this is suppose to be a party!" That seemed to put the bickering at ease. "Let's go dance, Havoc?" I started to pull him towards the ballroom.

"No, I'm good." He took his arm back and walked away.

"Hmph, typical. Come on Abby, I'll dance with you." Jessica said the last part more loudly than she needed. She took my arms with hers and guided me to the dance floor. We started to dance ballroom style. Jessica decided to be the male lead, while followed. We had our own fun with though. The whole time we danced we caught up with everything's that's been going on. I told her about the Central transfer, which of course got her all excited. After years of being apart, our group was slowly coming back together. Sophia and Amy were also stationed in Central. I was even more anxious for the move now.

"I don't suppose I could cut in now?" The voice behind me almost made me jump. I turned around to see Earl smiling very handsomely. "Since you've had her for the past few songs."

"Hey, you made it!" I almost gave him a hug, but stopped before hand. It was weird.

"Yah, sorry. The afternoon shift got sick and had to go home. I was the only one who could've covered." Earl rubbed the back of his neck, seeming a bit embarrassed.

"It's okay. I understand. I should've given you a way to contact me."

"Well I'm glad Havoc fell through with his word. I even see he gave you the corsage." Earl took my hand and brought it closer to his face, examining the flower. His gaze then went to me. I could feel my heart beat pick up a bit.

"Huh?" I turn my head to see Jessica trying to figure out what was going on.

"Oh, Jessica, this is Earl. My date for the evening. Earl, this is Jessica. My old Academy friend that I talked about before."

"Pleasure to meet you." Earl finally let go of my hand, just so he could take Jessica's and gave it a brisk kiss. Jessica instantly blushed and took her hand back. I couldn't help but laugh quietly. It takes a lot to get Jessica all bothered. Now that I think about...

"Hey Jessica, where _is_ your new fiance? I want to meet the man who was able to tame the Man-Hunter." I threw her old nickname out in the open. Jessica only blushed more.

"He did 'tame' me! No one can tame, the Man-Hunter." An evil smirk spread across her face.

"Man-Hunter?" Of course Earl didn't know the story behind the honorary nickname.

"Back at the Academy, Jessica had this reputation that if you pissed her off, she would hunt you down and make you pay. 99% of the people who did piss her off were men. She usually had a very...creative way of her revenge." There was an expression of impressed on Earl's face.

"Yah, so you better watch your back and treat my beautiful friend right!" Jessica linked arms with me as she spoke.

"I'll be the perfect gentleman." Earl grabbed my hand and pulled me out of Jessica's grip. I could feel my cheeks get warmer.

"See that you are." I glanced up to see Jessica walking away now. Probably going to find her fiance.

"Now then..." Earl spun me around once, then placed one hand in the middle of my back, and the other hand continued to hold mine. "Shall we dance?" I gave him a shy smile and placed my other hand on his shoulder as we started to dance with each other. We started talking about our day as we floated across the dance floor. He's a better dancer than I thought. He had apologized for running late and explained that the afternoon shift had called out. Of course I told him not to worry about it, but it didn't seem to help. He still had a guilty look about him. We had danced for the past couple of songs before we decided to take a break. I spotted Mustang and Hawkeye in the Lounge room, eyeing us.

"I want to introduce you to someone." I took Earl's hand and started to guide him off the dance floor. Mustang puffed out his chest a bit when he saw us walking towards him. "Good evening Colonel." I greeted with a cautious smile.

"Good evening Lovington. Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes sir, very much!" Mustang returned my smile with his own smile. His eyes narrowed when his gaze met Earl's. Earl's grip on my hand tightened a bit. I gave him a quick squeeze, trying to let him know that everything's okay.

"Is this your date?" Mustang's words were a bit harsh. Jeez...

"Yes, this is Earl. Earl this is Colonel Mustang, and 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"It's a pleasure, sir." Earl stuck out his hand for Mustang to shake. His voice seemed a bit more timid from before. Riza and I eyed Mustang, waiting to see what he would do. After a moment, Mustang finally took Earl's hand. I sighed in relief, feeling some of the tension go away, but Mustang's expression did not soften.

"So, are you finally done schmoozing." A deviant grin crossed my face.

"For the evening yes. We'll probably head to the dance floor soon, then go home." Mustang always dances at least once with Riza.

"Oh, is it already that late?" I glanced at the clock, seeing it was almost late evening. All the big wigs with the high ranks only stay till ten o'clock. After that, that's when the real party begins. All the lower ranks, who were lucky enough to get an extra ticket stay behind and really dance the night away till about midnight. Now that I'm looking around, there are a lot less people around. That's when I spotted Havoc at the open bar. He was hunched over, looking down at his current drink.

"What time do you think you'll be getting home?" I completely ignored Mustang's question and started to walk over to Havoc, leaving Earl behind. When I reached the bar, I placed both my elbows on the bar, and propped my head up with my hands. Havoc gave me a quick look with his eyes, and straightened himself up a bit.

"What do you want Lovington?" There was some annoyance in his voice.

"Just wondering if this is were you're going to spend your evening." The bartender walked up to me, raising his eyebrow, silently asking what I wanted to drink. I shook my head gently, and his gaze went to Havoc.

"I'll have another." Havoc pushed his almost emptied glass to the side. The bartender walked away to prepare the drink.

"Just how much have you drank?"

"Does it matter?" What the hell is his deal? I guess he did just get dumped...I shouldn't be too harsh.

"Why don't you come dance one song with me?" I placed both my hands on his arm that was resting on the bar. He finally turned his head, looking at me fully. I gave him a big smile, trying to convince him to step away from the bar.

"I said I'm good." He looked away again, but his arm was still under my hands.

"Oh come on! Don't be such a grouch!" I wrapped my hands around his wrist, making sure he couldn't take his arm back from my grip, and started to pull him away.

"Hey!" Despite his small protest, he was walking with me with no fight.

"He'll be back for his drink." I said as I turned my head back towards the bar, informing the bartender. Mustang, Riza and Earl were still at the door, eyes full of questions as the watched Havoc and I walk by. "He needs some exercise. Be right back." I said it mostly to Earl. I didn't want him to think anything of what was happening. Havoc didn't have a date. He was all alone this year, and besides, it was just one dance. I quickly turned around to face Havoc once we were close to the center of the dance floor. I forcefully placed his hand toward the middle of my back and made sure I still had a good grip on his other hand. I placed my other hand on his shoulder, just like I did with Earl, and looked up at Havoc, giving him the same big smile. He was moving. He was only looking down at me, with such a sullen look. I guess I was going to be the leader. I started moving my feet, forcing him to do the same. It was all awkward, but I was determine to get him to smile, at least once. "Man, leading is a lot harder than it looks!" I mumble looking down at our feet for a moment. "I should give Earl some props when we dance next." Havoc's body seemed to have gotten tense.

"Don't say his name." I looked up at Havoc, surprised of his sudden words. He seemed angry.

"What?"

"Don't say his name...when you're with me." Havoc's grip on my hand tightened, and he pushed me closer to him as we continued to dance. He instantly took the leader position, guiding me smoothly around the dance floor. What was this? This sudden closeness? My head was touching his body. Normally I would've come up to his mid chest but with the heels I was wearing tonight, I could rest my head just below his shoulder. The song that was being played by the band started to pick up a bit. Havoc quickly spun me out and brought me back in. He started to quicken our pace, matching the song's beat. We were moving so fast, that I was starting to forget how close our bodies were. It's so much fun. I couldn't help but start to laugh as we moved around. I happen to notice Mustang and Riza on the dance floor as well. They always seemed to become one body when they dance. Part of the reason why I loved watching them so much, but this time...I had no time to watch. I was too busy having fun with Havoc. "You're beautiful, by the way." I looked up at him, seeing that he's been looking at me. I then remembered how much our bodies were touching. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach go nuts. His gaze was so sincere. There was even a hint a smile on his face. Just then, he surprised. He quickly dipped me down when the song ended. No one had ever dipped me before. I started laughing again. I always wondered what it was like to be dipped. Havoc kept the position, not looking away from me. I starred back, no longer knowing if my heart was racing from the fast dancing, or if it was from his gaze. Havoc's eyes looked up for a second, before he brought us back up, straightening out.

"That was quite a show." Mustang was right behind me, with Riza linked to his arm.

"Didn't think you had any competition, did ya?" I was just realizing how out of breath I was in. Mustang made a small laugh. Havoc didn't say anything. He just started to walk off the dance floor. I watched his back as it disappeared back into the Lounge. Earl was still at the door, watching me, watch him. Crap...for that short moment with Havoc, I actually forgot all about Earl.

"We're heading out now. Are you going to be alright?" Mustang asked, pulling out of my guilty thoughts.

"Yep. I'm probably going to stay until it's all over."

"Alright, who's going to be taking you home?"

"I would imagine Earl?"

"Just checking...you be careful, and use your gloves if you have to."

"Alright! I get it! Jeez, you've never been this worried all the other years."

"All the other years, you brought someone I could trust." He really likes setting the mood.I gave him a bland look. Riza gave me a quick smile before leaving with Mustang. I glanced over at the door to see Earl leaning on the frame, still watching me. I took in a deep breath before walking over to him.

"Sorry for the wait. I figured it was the least I could do for Havoc, since he came alone this year." Why was I explaining my actions? It's not like anything other than dancing happened. I tried to push my guilty conscience back, knowing it was all a lie. The band started to play a much more lively song. All the high ranks must be gone. "Ready for the real party?" I reached for Earl's hand again.

"Yah." There was a pained smile on his face. I almost commented on it, before Earl pulled me in for an embrace.

"What?" I was a bit shocked.

"Sorry, it's just...watching you two..." He couldn't finish his sentence. My eyes automatically found Havoc at the bar. He was facing Earl and I, his eyes filled with anger. He finished off his drink, while keeping eye contact with me. I could feel my face getting warmer and warmer. Earl loosened his hold on me, and brought me out arms length. "Okay, lets go dance." He was forcing a smile now as he guided me back to the dance floor. He tried his best to dance like we did the night at the bar, but with my big dress, it was much more of a challenge. Regardless of it being a challenge, we were still having fun. Jessica had joined us at some point with her fiance. He seemed like a great guy, and clearly loved her. After playing a few fast paced songs, the band toned it down with a slower song. Jessica and her fiance drifted away as they clung to each other. Earl was standing still, our hands still holding each others. I was concerned of our stillness. He seemed to be debating something. His face held some regret.

"Is everything okay?"

"I think..." He paused for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully. "I think I'm gonna go." I surprised by his response. I subconsciously squeezed his hands.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"If I stay any longer...it's only going to be that much harder to say good-bye." I could feel my heart tightening in my chest. "I might even beg you to not go...and that would be wrong of me." He finally smiled, but there was only sadness in his eyes. "Sorry...but I'll do my best with good-bye here." He leaned in towards me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the kiss. My eyes shot back open, surprised that he kissed me on the forehead. I felt a slight blush cross my face, from embarrassment thinking he was actually going to kiss me. He pulled away, not looking me in the eyes. "If you ever find yourself back here, don't hesitate to swing by the bar." I couldn't say anything. I just kept starring at him, with a pained expression. Finally, after a few moments of silence, with only the band playing in the background, Earl locked eyes with me. "Good-bye, Abby." He quickly turned around and walked out of the Ballroom. My hands still hovered where his hands once were. It was weird. I didn't know how I felt about this situation. I didn't feel sad...but I also didn't feel happy. It was like emotion wise, I was numb. I needed a drink. I headed for the bar, hoping that Havoc had found a new activity...~

TO BE CONTINUED...

 **END OF CHAPTER 12!**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**


	13. Chapter 13: The Kiss

**WARNING: SENSITIVE MATERIAL IS IN THIS CHAPTER!**

 **XIII**

~ I was a bit disappointed to see Havoc still at the bar. Regardless, I walked up and ordered a drink.

"So what happened to your date?" He was slightly slurring his words. Was he drunk? I analyzed his face. His face was a good rosy color. Well I be damn...Havoc was actually drunk. I wonder how many drinks it took to actually get him here.

"Did you only come here to drink?" I ignored his question.

"HA! What else am I suppose to do?" He took a big gulp from his drink and slammed it back down on the counter, causing some of his drink to spill on the bar. "Whoops!" At least he was finally smiling. Drunk or not.

"Jeez. Am I this bad when I'm drunk?" I grabbed a napkin and lifted his drink to place the napkin under it to clean up his mess.

"You're much worse!" I rolled my eyes at his statement. "When ever you get drunk...you always go find some guy to flirt with. It's very annoying." Speaking of annoying!

"You're one to talk! You don't even need to get drunk before you go off picking up girls." The bartender placed my drink in front of me, and I finished it off in one take. The bartender didn't even wait to ask, he turned back around to make me another one. I looked over my shoulder to see a couple coming inside from the terrace. When the bartender set down my second drink, I picked it right back up and walked outside. I figured the cold air would do me some good. I walked over to the edge and set my drink on the railing. The cold did feel good. I let my thoughts loose on what Earl had said before he left. Beg me to stay, huh? It seemed a bit ridiculous to me. It's not like we were ever going out, or that we were even close. Sure I liked him...but to say he would beg me to stay...I took a good swig from my drink and set it back down. Maybe I should head home. No point in staying here just to mope, like Havoc. I'll just go say bye to Jessica and-Crap! Earl was suppose to be my ride home. Now what? The Banquet Hall was quite away from Mustang's. Defiantly not a quick walk away. I guess I could ask Havoc...but he's drunk. Maybe I could drive him home, and take the car. Then I could deliver it back to him tomorrow.

"Watcha doin' out here?" Havoc was now leaning on the railing next to me. Ugh! He needs to find a corner and pass out.

"Just thinking."

"About what?" I looked at him with my eyes. Of all the times for him to annoy me, now was not the best. I turned my body, facing him fully. He did the same, still having one hand on the railing for support. I don't think I've ever seen him this drunk before. This break up really did one on him.

"Listen Havoc, would it be okay if I drove you home and take the car with me to Mustang's? I'll drop it off tomorrow. Earl left early and you're too drunk to drive anywa-" I was cut off by Havoc's sudden lips on mine. I was in complete shock. I was just starring blankly at Havoc's blurred out face, my mind swimming with nothing. He slowly pulled away, his face still only inches from mine. It was filled with lust. While all I could do was continue to stare in disbelief. What just happened?

"I told you, not to say his name." I swear my heart almost stopped. He started to lean back in, when I eyed the door where the people inside were. I suddenly felt very self conscious, thinking that anyone could see us. Havoc stopped, seeing me eye the people. He stood straight up, bringing my attention back to him. His gaze had nothing but determination all over it. He roughly grabbed my wrist and started to guide me back towards the door to the building. Where was he taking me? My mind was still swimming, with some thoughts slowly starting to form. Instead of going through the door, Havoc guided me a bit off course, and swung me in front of him, pinning my back to the building's outside wall. We were now hidden from any prying eyes from inside.

"Um..." He had my one hand pinned by my head as he continued to stare at me with that gaze. My heart was going to explode from how fast it was pumping. I was starting to feel dizzy, when Havoc leaned back in for a second kiss. I closed my eyes this time, unknowingly kissing him back. All my thoughts were being jumbled into one as the kiss grew in passion. A few moans even slipped from my mouth. Havoc let go my one hand he had pinned and pulled me in closer to him. I used my freedom and brought both my hands to Havoc's face, also pulling him closer, if it was possible. I always fantasied that Havoc was a good kisser. It was good to know that my fantasies were true. We were in full make out session when Havoc finally pulled back, letting us take in a few breaths. The outside air didn't feel cold anymore. Our eyes were still on each other.

"Come home with me." His voice was soft, and so breathy. Come home...with Havoc? My mind was slowly starting to form back from the mush it was. What does that mean exactly? Does he...want...I could my heart sink when I realized what was going on. What was I doing? I came here with a different man, and now I'm making out with another? Plus, Havoc just got dumped today. Why was he doing this? Did he just need someone to bang to get Emily out of his system? I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. Havoc obviously wasn't reading the situation anymore. He was leaning back down for another kiss when I brought my hand up to his mouth to stop him. He looked puzzled now. "What's wrong?" His voice was still breathy, but no longer soft.

"What are we doing?" I tried to stop my voice from shaking.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...what are we doing? I came here with Earl, and now I'm..." I didn't know how to finish the sentence. "And you just broke up with Emily." My body started shake from anger. "Was I just supposed to be some kind of one night stand?" I finally brought my angry gaze to Havoc. He seemed shocked by my response.

"Excuse me?" Now his his eyes lowered with anger.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but we work together Havoc. If you need some 'hump and dump', then go find someone who you won't see the next day. Plus...what would Mustang say if he found out?" I was borderline yelling at him now. His expression didn't change, but I could tell he was debating what he was going to say. Several moments passed before Havoc took a step back. I just starred straight in front of me, not being able to look him in the eye anymore.

"Is that...what you really think I was..." He cut himself off. I saw his hands were in a tight fist, shaking, just like mine. He didn't say another word. He only turned around and walked back inside, leaving me outside, by myself. I stood there in shock. How did this happen? The night started so happy. How did it get like this? I looked up at the starless sky, trying to hold back the tears that were trying to escape. A few people walked outside, not noticing me in the slightest. I just want to go home. Damn it! I wanted to punch something when I once again realized my ride home left, again. Maybe Jessica would be able to take me home? I really don't want to explain my current condition, or ruin her night, but I don't know what else to do. I really don't want to walk home. I went back in, trying to hide my face as best I could.

"Hey, you!" I looked to the bar to see the bartender waving me down. I did my best to wipe away my tears before walking over. "You're friend wanted me to tell you that she left for the evening, and that she'll see you when you get to Central." The bartender spoke to me for the first time this evening. He had a very monotone voice.

"What?"

"She came out here looking for you. When I told her you were outside with your other friend, she just gave me the message for you." Well there went my last chance for a ride home.

"Thank you." I gave the bartender a very bland smile before walking away and out the front doors. I might as well start my journey. Mustang's was at least a mile away. I carefully made my down the stone steps, and prayed my feet could hand this walk.

* * *

I had no idea how far I had walked. To be honest, I don't even know what neighborhood I was in. All I knew was that my feet were KILLING me. I had taken my high heels off after a while and was carrying them in one hand. I can't believe I got myself lost, and it's not like I could just go knocking on someone's door. It was way too late. I highly doubt anyone would be up. I just need to find a street I'm familiar with and I should be able to figure out the rest. My heart jumped a bit when I heard a pair of foot steps behind. I stopped and looked behind me to see no one. My instincts kicked in, and they were saying I was in trouble. I know I heard someone behind me. I turned back around and started walking again, only to hear the footsteps once again. I reached down my dress and quickly brought out my gloves. I had started shaking all over again, making it a bit hard to put my gloves on. I decided I would try to take them out by hand combat first, and save my alchemy for emergency only. Only if they actually attack me though. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a man step out in front of me. There was an accomplice? Great. I looked behind me again to see the other man only a few feet away. They were both smiling disgustingly. The one who had just stepped out was even chuckling.

"Don't do anything stupid, and you won't get hurt." His comment almost had me laughing. Even if there were three of them, they wouldn't be able to hurt me. I was checking my surroundings to see what I could use, if there were any lights on in a house. We were on a darkened street. Wonderful. I notice there was a large gap in front of me. I started to sprint for the opening, out in the street, only to be reminded of my dress. The man in front of me was able to grab me with not problem. Damn it! If I was wearing anything other than this dress, I could've out run them without a doubt.

"Didn't you hear us?" The man's grip was starting to hurt. Lucky for me, I was already in a bad mood. I brought my free arm around quickly, hitting right in a knock out spot. He loosened his grip right before he hit the ground. The other man was fast and was right by me in no time. I was able to dodge him for some time, throwing in some punches when I could. It was so hard to fight in this dress. I am NEVER wearing anything like this again! The man was getting sloppy and I was finally able to put him on his back. He was trying to catch his breath from the hit. I had enough time to get away. I quickly turned around to run away, when I felt a sudden pain in my stomach. Now I was the one trying to catch my breath. What the hell? I looked over to see the man I had knocked out earlier was still on the ground, and the other guy was still trying to breath. There was a third?

"You've been a real pain!" The third man brought his hand to my throat, lift me off the ground. I tried to fight him off, kicking him as much as I could, but it didn't seem like anything was phasing him. Everything was starting to get dark. Just before everything went black, the man let me go, causing me to hit the ground. I started coughing nonstop, but the man didn't give me any time to recuperate. He grabbed my wrist and brought them above my head as his other hand started to make their way up my dress. No! I was still coughing trying to catch my breath, but my mind was trying to think of a way to get out of this. The guy's grip was pretty tight and sturdy. I don't think I was going to be able to get out of it. It didn't stop me from trying though. I started to thrash around, squeezing my legs shut, blocking him from getting anywhere good. "Stop fighting, it's only going to make it worse for you!" The man brought his hand out from the dress just to slap me on the face. He didn't hold back with the hit. I was seeing some colors. I felt something sharp cut my cheek. The man was now holding a knife on me. I can't believe this is happening. "See, now be a good girl." His hand was still holding the knife as it made it's way back down my dress. Just then a car on a completely different street behind us drove by, causing the man to quickly look behind to check if things were still clear. His grip slightly loosened, giving me my only chance. I broke free, just as he was starting to turn back to me, and I punched him as hard as I could in between the eyes. It knocked him over a bit and I tried to scoot out of him as quickly as I could. "You bitch!" It wasn't quick enough. He grabbed onto my ankle and pulled me back towards him. He brought the knife down and sliced a good gash on my arm.

"NO!" I did my best to kick him off and tried to crawl away again.

"Damn it!" I looked back to see closing in on me again. It was now or never. I quickly closed my eyes and snapped my fingers, causing a stream of lightning to shoot from my gloves. There was the typical loud boom. I had no doubt that people were now awake. After everything settled, and the boom echoed away, I finally opened my eyes again. The man was now lying in the street, twitching every once in a while. I took a few moments to calm my breathing before I went to check on the man. I crouched down by him, and checked for a pulse. I stopped breath again when I couldn't feel anything. I re positioned my fingers again and again, trying to desperately to find something. My breathing became abnormal and frantic when reality was setting in. I killed him. I quickly stood up and took a few steps away from the body. I looked around to see that the first man I had knocked out was still unconscious and the second man was no one were to be seen. He must have ran away at some point. I looked back at the lifeless body. I was trying to remember exactly how much force I put into my snap. I mean...it's not like I had a lot of time to think like I usually do. Did I do this on purpose? Was I meaning to kill him. I don't know anymore...I just had to get away. Without evening thinking, I started to run. I didn't even know where I was running, I just had to get away.

* * *

By the time I finally found my way to Mustang's, it was past two in the morning. The door was still locked, which probably meant Mustang wasn't home. Did he go back to the office? I reach up to the door frame and grabbed my spare key to unlock the door. I walked in and closed it behind me, making sure it was locked. I made my way upstairs, and opened Mustang's bedroom door. His bed was still made. He wasn't home. I don't know how long I stood there in his door way before I made my way back down the stairs. I headed straight for the phone and started to dial the number. It rang a few more times than normal. I was then pulled out of my daze. How did I get here? I don't remember coming back down the stairs...Who was I calling? Just then the phone stopped ringing and I heard the click of someone picking up the phone.

"Yah?" Why did I call him? I didn't know what to say. I was still trying to process everything. "Hey...Abby? What's wrong?!" There was panic now in his voice. That's when Hughes popped in my mind. I needed to say something.

"Musta...Roy." My voice cracked.

"Abby...what's going on?"

"I...I don't want to be alone right now. Could you come home?" I started to cry into the receiver. Mustang didn't say anything for a few moments.

"I'll be right there." Was all he said before hanging up. I just continued to stand there, holding onto the phone. What a pain. To cause so much worry. I continued to cry as I gently hung the back down.

* * *

Several minutes passed by, and took the time to think of how I should explain everything to Mustang. I shouldn't of called him. I wasn't even going to. I was still trying to figure out how I had manage to make my way back downstairs, call Headquarters, and give the operator my code without even knowing. Did I blackout? I was in a chair next to the fire I had started in the fireplace. I jumped up from the chair when I heard the door being unlocked. Mustang quickly shut it behind him, locking it once again. He quickly made his way over to me and stopped in his tracks when he saw my condition. I did my best to wrap up my arm, but it had bled through the bandage a bit. Plus my cheek that the man had slapped was still sore. Mustang closed the distance between us and placed his hands on my shoulders. I jumped when he touched me.

"What happened?" He was completely out of breath. Did he run all the way here? I couldn't look at him. I had spent all this time thinking of what to say, how to explain, but now my mind is blank. I killed a man. I killed a man who was trying to... I could feel the tears coming back. Mustang's hands tightened around my shoulders. I could tell he was worried to the max right now. I jumped a bit when I heard a sudden knock at the door. Mustang instantly turned around and head for the door, unlocking it. Who would be over at this time? "Sorry, I figured you would've gotten here sooner than me. I just got here." I don't know why I was wondering who was at the door. Of course he called her. Mustang had let Riza in, locking the door right behind her. She made her way over to me, putting her coat over the chair I was just sitting in. She didn't come any closer than the chair.

"What happened?" Riza looked behind her at Mustang.

"She hasn't said yet." Riza looked back at me when Mustang commented. I felt so horrible for making so many people worry. They both rushed over here...for me. I ran into Riza's arms as I started to cry all over again.

"Now, now. What's with the tears?" Riza started to pet my head.

"I've...done something...horrible." Riza's hand stopped petting my head, and my stomach once again dropped.

* * *

The sun was already up when I came out of my bathroom. I had taken a shower like Riza recommended me to do after I had finally explained everything that happened. I did, however, leave out the fact that Havoc and I kissed. Mustang was already upset that he left me alone with no way home, no reason to push him off the edge. I made my way back down the stairs to see Mustang just getting off the phone with someone. He watched me the whole time as I came down.

"I notified someone to head to the scene of the crime. We'll have to go back, when you're decent." He was watching me with caution. It was like he didn't know what to do. Riza had just come out of the kitchen with two plates of breakfast.

"We can go after breakfast, and a good nap." She said as she set the plates down on the dinning table. I walked slowly to the table and looked at the food she had prepared. I was a bit troubled by what I saw.

"Um...Hawkeye...what exactly is this?" She looked up at me with confusion.

"It's a breakfast casserole. Why?" Breakfast casserole? Made out of what? It looked more like Hell in casserole form.

"No reason." I decided to keep my mouth shut. She did this for me. Normally I'm the one making breakfast, but today was probably no good. I sat down and hesitantly took the first bite. It wasn't bad. I mean, it wasn't good, but I was able to swallow.

"That bad?" There was a bit of remorse on Riza's face. I must have been making a face.

"No! I mean...It's different. But it's good." I wasn't going to complain, especially when she went through all the trouble for me. Riza gave me a smile small before going back to her plate. "Thank you." She looked up at me again, in the middle of a bite. She clearly had to problem with the dish. The fact that Riza wasn't a cook, and didn't know it, only made her more adorable. She gave me another small smile, accepting my gratitude. I wanted to say more, because just a simple thank you didn't seem like enough. I'll think of something to repay both of them.

* * *

The alarm I had set was now blazing in all glory, waking me from my slumber. After breakfast, Riza had forced me to bed. It took a while before I had finally passed out, but now all I wanted was to roll back over and fall back to sleep. It wasn't possible though. We had to get to the scene of the crime, or to Headquarters if they were already done. I pushed myself out of bed and made my way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Riza and Mustang were still at the dining room table, talking quietly. Mustang looked exhausted. Did they even go take a nap? They were supposed to. They stopped talking when they saw me walking towards them.

"Hey, how'd you sleep?" Mustang asked. He still seemed to be cautious with me.

"Fine, I guess. When do you want to head over?"

"Soon. Do you think you could give us just another minute?" I couldn't help but wonder what they were discussing now.

"Yah...sure." I walked over to the door and slipped on a pair of shoes before walking out the door. When I looked back up from the door, I was surprised to see someone walking down the pathway, away from the house. "Havoc?" His body jumped slightly when he heard my voice. It was only his back facing me, but I knew it was him. What the heck is doing here? He hesitantly faced me. He looked horrible. Probably hungover like no other. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I made my way towards him.

"I just...wanted to come talk about last night." Great...Just what I needed. "But when I got here...I couldn't get myself to knock on the door, and then you came out and-" He cut himself off when he noticed my condition. I decided to wear a short sleeve shirt, since it would be easier for everyone investigating. Riza had re-bandaged me up after breakfast, and my face ended up getting bruised from the slap, along with a unnecessary big bandage where I was cut on the cheek.

"What the hell...What happened?" There was a bit of panic in his voice. I really didn't want to explain to Havoc what had happened. I knew if I did he would only blame himself for leaving me. I didn't want that, because I didn't blame him, but I couldn't think of anything else to say about my condition.

"Nothing happened...I mean, when I left the Banquet Hall, I tripped and fell half way down the stairs." That's all I could think of. I actually thought it was clever. "I guess I won't be wearing anything fancy like that again." I forced a laugh, trying to make light of the real situation.

"Don't lie." Havoc didn't seem to believe me. His gaze was hard.

"I'm not lying." My voice went soft. I could no longer look him in the eye. I was saved when I heard the door open. Mustang and Riza were coming out now, seeming confused why Havoc was here.

"Havoc? Is everything alright?" Mustang's tone had a bit of venom behind it. I had to calm him down last night when I explained that both Earl and Havoc had left me behind. I gave Havoc a desperate look, asking him not to tell him the truth. I knew he wouldn't but I had to just in case. I could tell Havoc wasn't pleased with me by the way he was looking at me.

"Yes, sir. Just wanted to check on Lovington, that's all."

"Are you kidding me?!" I was hoping Mustang wouldn't freak out again, but it looks like I was running out of prays being answered. "It's because you left her she's-"

"Don't!" I quickly snapped at Mustang before he could finish his sentence. Everyone was shocked. "Please...don't. It wasn't his fault." Now I've said too much, but I wanted Mustang to understand that it wasn't anyone's fault. The only one to blame was now dead.

"What not my fault?" Havoc's voice was hard, just like his eyes. I couldn't tell him. However, Mustang was more than happy to spill everything. I couldn't stop him anymore.

"After you and that other guy left, Abby took it upon herself to walk herself home, all alone." Havoc seemed surprised by that fact. "On her way home, she ran into some trouble with three men." I didn't want to listen anymore, but I couldn't get my feet to move. "She was able push off two of them, the third one was able to do all this to her." He was probably referring to all my cuts and bruises. "He even almost had his way with her before she was able to get away long enough to use her alchemy and zap him...taking his life." I stopped breathing when Mustang said that last part. Mustang's tone was so harsh. I couldn't help but finally look at Havoc. My heart sank when I saw that he went completely pale, and I knew it wasn't from his hangover. He just stood there frozen, as Mustang's words sunk in. "We're heading over to Headquarters now to get everything straightened out." Mustang's tone finally softened a bit, as he walked passed Havoc. Riza followed behind him. I was trying to decide if I should say something. "Let's go Abby." Mustang ordered. I started moving towards Riza's car, and just as I passed Havoc...

"I don't blame you." He had to know. Maybe when we see each other at work, we can talk more, and I can get him to believe that I really don't...but right now I had to leave him behind, still frozen in place. I sat in the back with Mustang, and watched Havoc slowly grow smaller as we drove off towards Headquarters.~

 **END OF CHAPTER 13!**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**


	14. Chapter 14: Welcome to Central

**XIII**

~ The train whistle seemed much louder than normal this early in the morning. I always had a saying that I practically lived by, "If the sun's not up, neither am I." Wasn't the most philosophical of sayings, but it worked for me. Today, however, I had to put it on the back burner. We all had to be on the first train of the day to Central, and of course that train just had to be in the most earliest of hours! I had just finish dropping off what was left of my luggage and was making my way back to the group. They were all gathered by the train, saying their last good-byes to longtime friends. Fortunately for me, all my close friends, and people I care for the most are either boarding the train with me, or are already in Central. As I reached the group, I yawned for the hundredth time. I needed some shut eye. Hopefully the guys would be nice for once and not be so rowdy.

"Man, I don't think I've seen you yawn so much." Falman stated. With the word 'yawn' hanging in the air, I once again do so. Breda couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up! I barely got any sleep last night. I was too busy helping Mustang finish packing."

"Are you serious? Why did you help him?" Breda asked.

"If I didn't help him, he'd still be packing! Plus, when I told him I'd help, I didn't realize he hadn't even started."

"What did you even have to pack? I thought all the furniture belonged to the house?" Fuery was trying to figure everything out in his head.

"Yah, but the dishes, books, and our cloths didn't. You know, for a guy who always seems to be at work, he actually has an unnecessary amount of clothes."

"Headquarters is going to be pretty quiet without you guys." One of Breda's buddies spoke up. That got everyone going on in a bittersweet conversation.

"Hey! Come on you guys, let's get going!" Havoc had just stepped off the train, and was hanging onto one of the hand railings.

"Why? The final whistle hasn't blown yet. Even if we do get on, it's not like-" The final whistle blew, cutting Breda off. There was a bit of annoyance on Breda's face. We all said our final good-bye and made our way to the train. As I waited for everyone to get by Havoc, I took the chance to make one final look at everything. My eyes started wandering around the crowd, when they stopped on one particular person.

"Hey Havoc…" I reached behind to get Havoc's attention. When my hand found his body, I felt him jump at my touch. It made me jump in the process. "Sorry!" I quickly took my hand back, leaving an uncomfortable atmosphere. I'm sure the other guys noticed. It was going to be a nice, long awkward ride to Central. "Um…Isn't that Emily?" I got back on track to the reason I wanted his attention. I was pointing out in front of me. Sure enough, just a few meters away, was Emily. I glanced up to Havoc, who seemed surprised by her appearance. Without saying anything, he made his way to her. I could see that she was debating to run or not. Poor girl. Probably wasn't expecting to be spotted. I turned back around and followed Falman onto the train. We each loaded into the private room that Mustang reserved for us. Mustang and Hawkeye were located in the one next to us. I might be sneaking in with them if the boys refuse to be quiet, since if it wasn't for me, Mustang would still be frantically packing. Fuery and Breda sat on one side, leaving space between them, while Falman took the window seat on the other side. Normally I would've sat by Falman just so I could sit by Havoc, but with how things were between us…I plopped my body right between Breda and Fuery. It was more of a squeeze than I thought.

"What the heck? Why are you sitting here?" Breda wasn't happy with my choice.

"I want to get some shut eye, and you make the perfect pillow!" I said with a small smile as I rested my head on Breda's arm.

"Is that a fat joke?" I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Only if you want it to be."

"So…what's up with you and Havoc?" I felt my heart sink at Breda's question. It was only a matter of time before one of them asked. I glanced over at Fuery who was more than curious by the question. Ever since the day after the Military Ball, Havoc and I haven't said one word to each other. If there was ever a time we needed to, we'd just ask one of the guys to do it for us, even if we were right there in the room with each other. I was going to talk to him to explain everything that happened, that there was no reason for him to blame himself. It just seemed that every time I tried, I would get all my words jumbled up in my head, and turn around like a coward. I wanted to make things right between us, but is that even possible now?

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb! You two haven't spoken to each other in a week! Normally you two are either going at each other, or plotting something together. Something is obviously up." I knew I wasn't going to fool any of them, but how does one even begin to explain what exactly was going on. Even I didn't fully know. They all seemed to have believed my 'tripping over my two feet, and falling down the stairs' lie to explain my bruises.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about? As far as I know, everything's fine between Havoc and I." I could hear the disappointed scoff come from Breda's mouth.

"Fine. You don't want to talk, fine." Breda got up, making me almost fall to my side.

"What the heck…What's your problem?" Breda was now sitting over by Falman, leaving another gap between the two of them.

"As far as I know, I have no problem." There was sarcasm oozing out of his words. So he's gonna play it like that? Fine! Just then the train started to slowly move. Havoc still wasn't on the train. What does he think he's doing? Just as I was about to get up to fetch him, he made his way into the room closing the sliding door behind him.

"Better late than never?" Falman spoke for the first time since boarding.

"Yah sorry. Emily just wanted to wish me luck." Even though he was blushing lightly, I could see the sadness behind his eyes. Those eyes changed quickly when he realized that the only open seat was next to me. His eyes went to the small space between Falman and Breda, and he took it.

"What the hell, Havoc? There's no room!" Breda protested by trying to shove Havoc off. It was a tight squeeze just with little old me. Did Havoc really think any of them would be able to handle being that crushed together all the way to Central? They all had such broad bodies. More Havoc and Breda than Falman, but non the less. Tight squeeze. "Go sit over there!" Breda finally succeeded pushing Havoc off. Havoc just glared in return. He eyed the roomier space right by me and the window, but I could tell he wasn't liking it. I can't believe how childish he's being! He finally took the seat next to me and leered out the window as the scenery passed by. Normally I'd be radiant by this seating, but now, I could only feel my blood boil. I could feel the other guys on us. Watching to see if we would actually talk, or give some kind of reaction other than pretending the other one doesn't exist. It was defiantly going to be a long ride.

* * *

We were about an hour into our journey to Central, and I could barely keep my eyes open anymore. My boiling blood from earlier had started to cool down. I wonder if I could sneak my way to Mustang's private room? Fuery and Breda were having an interesting discussion about the good old days at the Academy. Fuery had entered the Academy just a year after me. Fuery was explaining that the tardy disciplinary had become stricter. Breda started laughing loudly.

"It's probably all because of Lovington." He continued to snicker, grabbing my attention.

"Excuse me?" I felt highly irritable. Probably from the lack of sleep.

"There's no excusing you. I can't even begin to count all the times you were late for your classes!"

"How would you possibly know?" We only had a few activities together. Military Weaponry, One-on-One Combat, and Conditioning.

"I remember that!" I was surprised when Havoc chipped in. I was now starring at him in shock.

"You…remember?"

"How could I not? We saw you franticly sprinting in the court yard every morning. Sometimes, when the weather was warm, the instructor would open the window; and we could actually hear you panicking." Both Havoc and Breda started laughing, remembering together. "Crap I'm gonna be late!" Havoc mimicked me through a snicker. I didn't know if I should be feeling flattered or embarrassed. I guess I was going with both.

"I thought…" Havoc settled down with his laughing to look at me. For the first time in what seemed forever, we were actually able to look at each other. My heart started to flutter, making it a bit hard for me to finish the sentence. "I actually thought all this time, you didn't remember me from back then." Havoc seemed surprised. Just then Breda stood up, making Havoc and I break our connection.

"I think I'm gonna go bug the Colonel about a few things. Falman, Fuery…come on." Without hesitation Falman got up and was following Breda. Fuery seemed a bit more hesitant but ended up following. Breda wasn't fooling anyone, but at the same time, I was thankful. Hopefully Havoc and I would finally be able to have the talk we've been needing to have. There was a moment of awkward silence after the three of them shut the door. Havoc was the one to break the silence first.

"I admit; I didn't recognize you when you first started on the team." He paused, as if remembering something. "Your hair was a lot shorter back then, and you thinned out a bit too." Is that a compliment? I don't know how to take that last part.

"I see…" That's all I could say. All this time he remembered me. Does that mean that he's moved on and all the flirting and 'begging' was all in the past, forgotten?

"I hear you're getting your own place in Central?" Havoc asked before there was another moment of silence.

"Oh, yah. Jessica is helping me find a place when I get there. I'll actually be staying with her and her fiancé' until I find something. How about you? Did you find a place yet?"

"Yah, I even have most of my things there waiting for me."

"How did you manage to find a place so quickly?" It truly amazed me. I had called on almost all ads and called around; but everything was either too high in rent, or someone beat me to the chase.

"Just one of my many hidden talents" I rolled my eyes at his typical cockiness. "I just can't believe you actually managed to get the 'okay' from the Colonel?" I suddenly became more tired remembering all the battling I had to do with the Colonel.

"As I told him, several times, I am an adult. If I want to go live on my own, then I will! The _only_ time I need his approval is for work related issues." Havoc gave a small chuckle. We sat there in silence again, not knowing what else to talk about. It was now or never! I had to bring it up. "Hey, Havoc…" I hesitated for moment, not really knowing how to start the conversation. Just then, in that moment, Havoc made himself comfortable and rested his head on my shoulder. All my thoughts from before had washed away as his hair tickled my cheek.

"Sorry, do mind? I haven't been getting a lot of sleep." He spoke in a softer tone. Yes, I mind! How am I supposed to say anything when all I can think about is how good his shampoo smells?!

"It's okay." I barely mumbled out. I couldn't possibly bring it up anymore. Not when we were finally starting to act like our old selves. I felt Havoc's body loosen up a bit as he started to drift off. I sat there listening to him breath, taking in his warmth. I laid my head on top of his and let my body relax along with his. "I missed you…" I said softly as my eyes became heavy.

"I missed you too." I wasn't too sure what he whispered back, as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

" _Abby…"_ I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of Fuery's voice. I could feel a gentle hand on my shoulder, lightly shaking me awake. I blinked a few times and slowly lifted my head. It was still on top of Havoc's. He rustled around from my movement and slowly woke up as well. I guess we slept like that the whole way. "Sorry to wake you guys, but…we're here." I could see Breda's smug smile behind Fuery's shoulder.

"Thanks Fuery." Was all I groaned out as I placed my hand on my neck to try to work out the painful kink.

"Leave those two alone for a few hours and they get all lovey dovey." I heard Breda murmur as he exited the room. I shot him a glare, even knowing he wouldn't see it.

"That was the quickest ride to Central yet." Havoc said stretching his legs out. I was still trying to smooth out the kink in my neck. I can't believe we slept like that all the way to Central. My neck was going to kill me for the rest of the day! "You okay?" I regretted the sudden movement of my neck when I went to look at Havoc.

"Yah…I guess sleeping like that really put a kink in my neck." I explained, trying to laugh it off.

"You dummy. You shouldn't have slept like that."

"Well how else was I supposed to sleep with you using me as a pillow?"

"You should have told me!" Unbelievable! Give a guy your shoulder to sleep on, and this is how he says thank you? "Here." His hand brushed away the hand that was still on my neck, and took its place, gently massaging. I think I forgot how to breath. "How's this?" It felt amazing. I never thought I could feel so anxious but so relaxed at the same time. His hand seemed so big. It could probably just about wrap around my whole neck. I could feel my cheeks getting hot as I thought about it. "Am I hurting you?" He drew his hand away, bringing me back to reality.

"No…" I was about to protest, when I notice the pain had lessened greatly. "Wow, I think you cured me." I gave him a sleepy smile.

"Good to hear." We sat there for a moment, smiling at each other. Does this mean we were fine? I was about to open my mouth to ask, when Havoc stood up. "We should probably get off and get our stuff." He said with a small smile as he left the room. I continued to sit, with the question still hanging on my tongue.

* * *

It was mid-evening and I was finally settled in my new room at Emily's. Emily, Daniel, (her fiancé) and I were at a local bar that also had an impressive dinner menu. We had been seated at the biggest table they had, which really wasn't all that big, because the rest of the gang was to supposed to be showing up. Jessica was still pouting that I had invited the rest.

"I just didn't think that you would've invited EVERYONE!"

"Sorry, but Breda wouldn't have let up. Sometimes it's just better to give in." Jessica just rolled her eyes.

"Come on, babe. It'll be fun. They seem-"

"They're obnoxious!" Jessica seemed offended when I gave her a look. "Granted I can't really speak for…what were their names?"

"Which ones?"

"Breda and Havoc. Who do you think? The creepy one and the adorable one with glasses?" Is the creepy one supposed to be Falman? I chuckled a bit before answering.

"Falman and Fuery."

"Yah! They seem okay, almost quiet like. But Breda and Havoc…"

"Hey now! This is my team you're talking about. Breda and Havoc really matured over the years." Now Jessica was giving me a look, and I could read it perfectly. She'll believe it when she sees it. Now I have to keep my fingers crossed for the rest of the night that Breda and Havoc can for once act their age. I buried my face in the menu to hide from Jessica's gaze.

"Hey Bowie!" Daniel suddenly yelled across the room, waving his friend over. I peered over the menu to see who it was. I couldn't see much of his features, but he sure was dressed sharp. A nice black button up shirt, dark pants, and nice dress shoes. His hair seemed a bit darker than mine? It might be because of the lighting? We were in a bar. As he approached our table, I sank back into the menu.

"Bowie! Good to see you!" Jessica had her flirty voice on.

"Hey guys! Didn't think I'd see you here tonight." He had a nice deep voice.

"We're here to celebrate the arrival of my long missed friend." I continued to pretend like I wasn't paying attention. "You should join us!"

"I would but…"

"Please? You'll be such better company than…" Jessica paused, not knowing how to finish the sentence. That's what got me to place my menu down and give Jessica yet another exasperated look.

"If you really didn't want them to come, you should have said so."

"And how would that make me look? It was out of my hands once you invited them."

"Stop pretending like you're not excited to spend time with Havoc again." I couldn't help but tease her.

"Cord," Jessica looked back to the stranger who was still standing in front of our table, rather entertained by our conversation. "Do you see what I already have to put up with?" The man named Cord, and Daniel started to laugh at her desperate face. "She's not even the worse one!" Even Jessica started to chuckle.

"I guess I could stay for a bit." Cord pulled out the seat that was across from me, and sat down. I finally was able to see the rest of his features as he sat down. His hair was the usual well groomed, cut short military style. He had the most mesmerizing green eyes. They almost sparkled, but at the same time, they seemed dark. "Hi." I didn't realize I was starring until he smiled at me. He had a pretty good smile too. "I'm Cord. Cord Bowie." He reached across the table to shake my hand. I lifted my hand and shook his. His physic was defiantly military as well. Muscle wise, he was probably just a bit smaller than Havoc.

"I'm Abby. The long missed friend." I smiled shyly.

"Aw, so you're the one that Ms. Prissy wouldn't shut up about?" I'm assuming Ms. Prissy was Jessica? I scoffed out a laugh, thinking how perfect if was.

"I hate your nickname for me!" Jessica threw her napkin at Cord. "Why does everyone pick on me?" Daniel brought her in with one arm for a comfort hug. Just then I saw my team walk through the door, looking for us. Fuery was the first one who spotted us. I threw up my arm and gave a quick wave, smiling big. "Great." I ignored Jessica's remark.

"Hey, I was starting to think you all got lost?" I joked as they all approached the table.

"We almost did, thanks to…" Fuery was about to sit down next to me, when Havoc motioned him to move one over, and sat next to me instead. The usual giddy feeling came sweeping up. Fuery didn't look too happy. Breda and Falman took the seats next to Cord, on the other side of the table.

"Nice place you have here, Jessy." Havoc said looking around, taking in the bar. I heard Jessica mumble something under her breath. I wasn't sure what she said, but I knew it was probably some snide remark.

"Who are you?" Breda asked Cord, looking rather confused.

"Lieutenant Colonel Bowie." Lieutenant Colonel? He looked a bit young to be just a rank below the Colonel. Havoc and I looked at him in disbelief as Breda and Bowie shook hands. Breda didn't look too convinced either. The waitress came over and took everyone's drink order. Apparently we were all drinking tonight. We all went back to mingling, getting to know all the new faces and catching up with all the old. At some point in the night, Havoc placed his arm on the back of my chair, making my brain focus on only that for some time. By the time our food came I saw two other bodies walk through the door.

"Oh my God!" I pushed back my chair and almost tripped over myself as I tried to run across the bar. Amy and Sophia gave me big smiles as I continued to, cautiously, run towards them. I came in and hugged the both of them at the same time. We were all talking at the same time saying how good it was to see each other, and that it's been so long. We walked back to the table smiling as big as ever. We were gonna need more chairs…and tables.

"Havoc move down!" Jessica ordered. Havoc just gave her a glare and refused to budge. Cord was the one who got up from his spot and let Sophia have it. She thanked him quickly and quietly as she sat down. "Cord! Where are you going?" Jessica was not pleased by his leaving.

"It's getting a little too crowded here for my taste and I have to get going anyways. It was nice to meet all of you." Bowie said as he gestured to all of us. The guys lifted their beer mugs towards Bowie to return his gesture. "Welcome to Central." He said looking right at me, before turning around to leave. I don't know why, but I feel like there was more behind what he just said, and Jessica defiantly helped confirming it.

"He likes you!" She said as she elbowed me in the side. My heart sank at her words.

"Oh stop! He does not!" I found it a bit alarming that Jessica's words disturbed me so much.

"He couldn't keep his eyes off you since he sat down."

"Hey Abby!" Havoc's sudden voice made me jump a bit. He sounded angry. "Do you want another drink before we leave?"

"Oh, um, no. I think I'm done for the evening." I said pushing my almost empty glass to the center of the table.

"Ok." Havoc said right before chugging what was left of his beer. He set his now empty mug on the table and looked at me with a small smile. "I'll walk you home." I lived with Jessica now, so I defiantly wasn't expecting this.

"It's okay, Havoc. We can take her home." Jessica linked arms with me, making it hard to get up. Havoc looked a bit defeated. Now that I think about it, it would be a good chance to talk to him about the night of the ball.

"Alright, guess I'll see you tomorrow." Havoc stood up, with Breda following pursuit. I watched the two of them leave the bar with a heavy chest. I've been wanting to talk to Havoc for some time now. I have a few questions that needed answers. Actually, it was more like one question. Why did he kiss me? Of course the longer I dragged the question out, the harder it became to bring it up.

"We should probably head out too. We have to get up early." Daniel said as he started to pet Jessica's head. She looked at him with tired eyes. They sure make a cute couple.

"That's right, and we're still going apartment looking tomorrow after work?" Jessica brought her attention to me now.

"Oh yah. I almost forgot about that! You guys are coming right?" I asked Sophia and Amy.

"Of course!" Amy answered enthusiastically. Sophia just nodded her head. We all stood up to leave. I said good night to everyone who was left, and the three of us walked home.~

 **END OF CHAPTER 14!**

 **THANKS FOR READING! :D**


	15. Chapter 15: Why Did You Kiss Me?

**XV**

~ A few weeks had passed and I was finally settled in my very own apartment. Amy and I were out late one night, giving up on the apartment search for the evening when we just happened to stumble upon the building I now live in. It was a nice two story complex, and rent was right in my budget. The actual apartment I've rented out was a nice small size, just perfect for someone living on their own. The part that sold me was the spacious living room. The bedroom was a bit small, but all I really needed was to be able to fit my bed, maybe a dresser, and I was set. I liked the idea of having everyone over one day and being able to have enough room for everyone. Even the bathroom was a decent size. What really sold me was the shower. It was even nicer than the one I had back at Mustang's old place. The kitchen, like the bedroom, was running on the small side, but it was also attached to the living area. All in all, I fell in love with it, and they were delivering my bed tonight! No more sleeping bag on the floor! I was hustling down the hallway at Central, with a decent stack of paperwork in my arms. I was trying to hurry out to get to my place so I can let the guys who were delivering my bed in. The place that sold me the bed was very kind and said they could deliver it after hours since I normally didn't get off till late. I was running a bit behind, so I would have to run all the way home. Lucky for me, my place wasn't that far away. I was just about to cross an intersection in the hallway, when someone suddenly stepped out in front of me, causing me to run into them and loose most of my paperwork.

"Crap!" I quickly saved the rest of the paperwork that was starting slip out of my arms. I quickly knelt down and started picking up the rest of the paperwork. Just my luck.

"Sorry…" The person I ran into started to help me.

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have been walking so fast." I glanced up quickly to see exactly who it was I ran into. "Oh! Lieutenant Colonel Bowie, I'm so sorry." I tried standing up quickly to salute him, but I almost lost everything I just picked up again. He started to chuckle a bit seeing me fumble for the papers again. "Sorry…" I gave him a shy smile.

"Lot of paperwork you got here? Are you Mustang's secretary or something?"

"No, well…I might as well be." Bowie picked up the last paper and we both stood up together as he handed me the paper. "Sometimes I think I should just turn in my State certification and just be hired for the paperwork." I just had him place the paper on top of the pile, for fear if I reached for it, it would all fall down again. "Thanks." A small smirk crept on Bowie's face. His eyes were smiling more than anything.

"So what's with the hurry?"

"I have to get home. I'm getting something delivered tonight!" I started walking down the hall again. Bowie followed close.

"May I ask what it is?"

"My new bed. I've been sleeping on the ground for a little more than a week now, so I need to be there when the guys get there."

"Hmm…need any help?"

"With the bed?" I wasn't sure why he started blushing all of sudden.

"Well…yah?"

"Well, I think they only deliver. I don't think they actually stay and assemble the bed together, so I guess. If you really want?" I was more than capable of putting my bed together, but if I had an extra hand, it would defiantly go much faster. Plus, I already asked the guys on my team and they were all 'busy' tonight.

"Alright, I'll be out front waiting." Bowie said as he took the next turn in the hallway. I nodded at him as he gave me a quick wave.

* * *

It was getting late in the evening when I walked Bowie to my door, for the night. I had ended up making dinner for Bowie and I. It was the quickest way I could say thank you, especially for how long it took to put the bed together. It even almost didn't fit in my bedroom! I had ordered a queen without really thinking how small my bedroom was. Bowie gathered his jacket as I opened my front door.

"Thanks again! I defiantly wouldn't have been able to finish that in one night." I laughed, embarrassed that I had actually admitted it.

"Anytime. If you need help with anything else, just let me know. Especially if I get a meal out of it every time." He lingered at the door, as I kept my one hand on the knob. I couldn't shake the feeling he was waiting for a kiss? Just then the neighbor right across from me opened their door, breaking the awkward moment between us. I shyly glanced at my rescuer, when my heart did a quick flip when we made eye contact.

"Havoc?" He seemed even more surprised than I was.

"Lovington? What are you doing here?" Odd question. Unless he thinks Bowie's the one who lives here?

"Well, actually, I live here." Apparently he wasn't expecting that answer.

"You're kidding?" I shook my head, with a small smile. "Go figure." I couldn't help but feel like my imagination was going crazy. He looked rather pleased by the situation? Bowie cleared his throat, reminding me that he was still there. I actually forgot all about him. I felt even more embarrassed.

"Oh yah, you remember Lieutenant Colonel Bowie?"

"Of course." Havoc said as he extended his hand for Bowie to shake.

"Havoc? Right?" Bowie shook Havoc's hand rather tensely. Why did this remind me of something?

"He just came over to help me assemble my bed. So where are you heading?" I tried my best to lighten the atmosphere.

"I was just going to meet up with the guys. Wanna join?"

"Oh! No, thank you. I still have to clean up dinner. Plus, I still need to take a shower."

"Dinner?" Havoc shot Bowie a subtle glare.

"Yah…there's some left overs if you want some?"

"Maybe another time." Havoc laughed a soft scoff when he realized my attention was trying to peek inside his apartment. He opened his door a bit more, which caught me off guard. "You wanna take a look?"

"Really?" I sounded a lot more excited than I wanted to. My curiosity always got the better of me. Was his apartment bigger than mine? Smaller? Or are they the exact same? I quickly walked passed him to explore. Havoc stayed back, probably to keep Bowie company as I did some research. From first impression, his apartment was the same as mine, just reversed. My kitchen was just a bit smaller. He might have had an extra counter top. The color sequence was much different as well. His was darker than mine. It looked like any other bachelor pad. I opened up the door to the bathroom and felt proud. My bathroom was much better, and bigger. I shut it and moved to the next room, the bedroom. The door was already open, I just had to flip on the light to see-HOLY CRAP! His bedroom was SO much bigger than mine. I could easily fit my bed, and couple of dressers in his. All he had was a single sized bed and one small dresser. Really the only thing that took up space was his table he cleaned his guns on, and it wasn't even that big of a table. This wasn't right!

"You gotta be kidding me." I mumbled to myself as I starred in jealousy.

"You shut up!" I heard a loud bang come from the hallway. I didn't even bother shutting the light off. I quickly ran back to Havoc and Bowie, to see Havoc pinning Bowie up on the wall, across the hallway.

"What the hell-Havoc?!" Havoc looked like he was about to punch Bowie right in the jaw. "Havoc what are you doing?"

"You stay out of this?!" He snapped viciously. What on earth…

"He's a Lieutenant Colonel! Think about what you're-"

"I don't give a damn if he out ranks me!"

"It's more than out ranking you! He can get you in trouble, maybe even suspended!" I didn't know what to do. I know that I wouldn't be able to pry the two of them away from each other, and judging by the sly smirk on Bowie's face, he wanted Havoc to punch him. I held my breath in anticipation, when Havoc finally scoffed, letting go of Bowie, and violently turning around, still clenching his fist.

"That's a smart move, Havoc." Bowie smoothed out his shirt, with the smirk still on his face. It didn't stay there for long, though. "But I will be reporting this to your commanding officer first thing tomorrow." There was venom in his tone. Bowie's gaze found me, and that sly smirk crept back on his face. He really was a handsome man, but every bone in my body was telling me to not trust that smile. "Abby, I'll see you tomorrow." I didn't think it was possible, but Havoc's fist had someone tightened even more. I continued to stare at Havoc with concern as Bowie made his way down the hall. Havoc finally unclenched his fist when Bowie went around the corner, down the stairs. His face held regret as he walked towards me, still standing in the doorway.

"I need to lock up." He wouldn't look at me.

"What was that all about?"

"Please Abby…just get out." That stung. I hated when he did this. Normally I would give up and do what he says, but this time…

"Tell me what happened."

"Move!" I jumped at the sharpness of his voice, but it wasn't going to get me to back off.

"Just tell me what happened!" I snapped right back at him. He looked even farther away from me, moving his head to the side, looking down the way Bowie had left.

"He…" His voice was trembling, and I noticed his hand was in a fist again. "He insulted you." I was shocked by his answer. Not only did it surprise me to hear Bowie had done such a thing, but he had said something so vile that Havoc almost punched him for it.

"What…what did he say?" Rage crept back on Havoc's face.

"I can't say. If I do…" I remained silent as I watched Havoc struggle to find the words. "If I tell you, you won't be able to stop me from chasing him, and beating him to a pulp." There goes my curiosity again, but I knew I couldn't force him to say it. I said nothing more, and stepped out of Havoc's apartment. He shut the door and locked it, and continued to stand there, facing the door.

"Thank you." I said it just as I was about to shut my apartment door. Havoc looked back at me with a weary smile.

"No one messes with the team." He said it quietly, just before walking down the hall.

* * *

A few weeks have passed, and boy were they busy! Not only did Hawkeye "stumble" upon Berry the Chopper, who was supposed to have been executed, but now Falman was now a 24/7 babysitter. Talk about rough. I will never complain about my duties again! I would've sworn Havoc would've been babysitter duty after Bowie reported him to Mustang. After several minutes of Havoc and Mustang talking alone in his office, Havoc walked out seeming fine, with Mustang having a rather pleased smirk. No matter how much I pried, Mustang wouldn't tell me what they discussed. I even threatened to stop making him dinner! Nothing. We all took turns taking goodies to Falman, kinda as a 'sorry you're the one who got stuck with this' treat. It was my turn tonight, and I kinda went a little crazy with the food. I almost packed Falman a full meal in the little basket. There were a few knocks on my apartment door, just as I was finishing wrapping up the second basket. I already knew who was at the door, which is why I took my time answering it. I ran into my bedroom to change out of my uniform, since I didn't have time after I got home from work. I heard the a few more, impatient knocks, on my door before grabbing my jacket and the two baskets with food.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I said, a bit agitated as I opened my door.

"Took you long enough." Havoc didn't waste any time walking down the hallway, as I tried to hurry and lock my door.

"Well excuse me. I'm not like you guys and just give Falman whatever I have just lying around in my cupboards. AND I had to work today, unlike someone I know." I hustled down the hall to catch up to Havoc, who was already walking down the stairs. I only went in for a few hours, in an attempt to help Mustang. There was still plenty of daylight outside, so I shouldn't complain that much. Plus, more money!

"What you make him anyways? It smelt good."

"Just some stew. Oh yah, we need to stop by the bakery. I need to buy some bread for the stew."

"Are there any leftovers?" I could hear the hope in his voice. It only made me smile. For the past few weeks Havoc has been coming over for dinner every night. He would even walk with me to Mustang's to deliver his dinner, whether he was at the office or at his house. It was kinda nice.

"Yes, there's leftovers, and we'll need to stop by Mustang's, before the bakery."

"Yes ma'am." Havoc opened the building's front for me, as I stepped outside.

Havoc parked the car in front of an old, run down building that didn't seem to have any life in it. Havoc seemed to be checking around to see if someone would spot us. When I got out of the car, I notice that the whole neighborhood looked that way. What a place to hide something-or someone?

"Hey, come on! Before someone sees us." Oh yah! Like they won't notice the nice shiny car just sitting here. I followed Havoc into the building, and it seemed to have a moldy smell to it. I guess when humans stop living somewhere, another life form takes their place. We walked all the way to the top floor, needing to step over some broken down wood from the walls, and borders. "Here, give me the basket." Havoc stuck out his hand.

"Why?"

"I'm going to give it to Falman. You stay out here in the hall as the look out."

"Excuse me?!"

"There's a suit of armor in there, who's soul preys on women. I'm not letting you go in there." Jeez…he's worse that Mustang! They seem to have it in their heads that I can't take care of myself! What's a girl gotta do to get some respect around here?! I reluctantly gave Havoc the basket as we approached the door. Havoc gave it a few knocks, while I slumped on the other side of the door.

"It's me, I'm just checking in." Havoc said in a low key voice. The door opened up, hiding me behind it. "You're looking well. Here, it's from Lovington." I heard Havoc say just before walking into the room, shutting the door. I sighed deeply, not liking the outcome of today. I could just barely hear them talking inside. I might as well have just given Havoc the stupid basket and had him deliver it, instead of wasting my time being a pointless look out. My eye twitch for a second from all the rage I was feeling. What the heck am I doing? Abby, if you want respect, then you need to start showing them you deserve it! I took in a deep breath and quickly opened the door.

"Yah, I'll her know that you're interested." Havoc said not at all amused.

"Who's interested?" I asked, shutting the door behind me.

"Oh, hey Lovington! I didn't know you were." Falman brightened up a bit.

"Heeey! She's pretty. I don't suppose I could chop _her_ up?" I smiled nervously at the suit of armor that was Berry the Chopper.

"I told you to stay in the hall!"

"I didn't see any reason for it! I came all the way here to give Falman his dinner, and I plan to follow through. I can take care of myself just fine!"

"I never said you couldn't take care of yourself…"

"Then why are you having me be a pointless look out?" Berry cut our argument short by laughing.

"Hey, you two are fun! Can they be my body guard instead? It could get interesting for once." Berry asked Falman while pointing at us.

"I'm not too thrilled about being here either! How much longer am I stuck here keeping watch on this guy anyway? What does the Colonel say?" He wasn't going to like this answer. Havoc began the discussion by holding up four fingers.

"The Colonel apologizes for having to give you such a dangerous assignment." He dropped his pinkie, with the remaining three fingers up. "He also says don't worry about your other duties; your absence is being treated as sick leave. But if anyone, even military personnel outside of our unit, sees you, he'll have you court-martialed before you can blink. That is all." Havoc didn't have any fingers up now. Poor Falman seemed to have worked up a bit of a sweat. Even though I felt bad for the guy, I was still overly grateful that I wasn't the one stuck with this assignment.

"I don't suppose you have any news of a happier sort to report?"

"Indeed." I have a feeling he's going to bring her up…

"Oh?! What is it?" Here we go. You asked for it, Falman.

"Falman, I found myself a girlfriend!" I rolled my eyes and leaned against the torn up wall, as Havoc smiled from ear to ear. Falman was really regretting asking. "She's been really sweet, helping me adjust to the move here and everything." He's been going on and on about her since the start of the week. What was weird is that he normally tries to keep his girlfriends a secret, but this time…

"And oh, boy is she hot!" Oh yah…there was that too.

"Because coming over to my place every night for dinner isn't helpful…" I said it just a bit louder than a mumble. Havoc stopped gushing, and gave me a mischievous grin.

"She helps me in other departments…" I blinked a few times, trying to process what it is he meant by-OH MY GOD!

"Gross Havoc! No one wants to hear that!" Just as I had entered the room, I quickly opened the door and slammed it on the way out, trying to get out of the nasty building as soon as I could.

"I was kidding!" I could faintly hear Havoc's voice from the other side of the door. I couldn't help but smirk as I continued my way down the hall.

* * *

I had Havoc take me to the market so I could pick up tomorrow's dinner. I was scanning some vegetables while Havoc wandered off somewhere. I had a feeling he sauntered into a random bar and was having a beer while waiting for me.

"Well, well, if it isn't Lovington." I jumped when I heard the voice right behind me.

"Oh Lieutenant Colonel Bowie, hi."

"Please, you can call me Cord when we're off duty." Yah right.

"What brings you to the market, Lieutenant Colonel Bowie?" He gave me a shy smile.

"I guess you're still feeling sour about the last incident?" To be honest, I don't know how I felt about the whole scene. I know Havoc said he had insulted me, but I never talked to Bowie about it. Which I was raised to always get both sides of the stories, and Havoc's only left me with questions. However, I did have this feeling that I couldn't believe a word Bowie said.

"Well…I guess you could answer some questions."

"Of course." He seemed eager.

"Havoc said you insulted me?" Might as well get to the point. Bowie scoffed and licked his upper lip. He didn't seem surprised, but offended.

"No. I didn't insult you." He chuckled a bit before continuing. "Look, I think you know that I like you." I felt myself go flush. "So it shouldn't come as a surprise when I say that all I said to Lieutenant Havoc, was that I was going to steal you from him." And the flush was gone.

"Excuse me?"

"He didn't take it very well, as I expected, but I didn't think he would actually threaten me." I looked away from him, shaking my head. Bowie wasn't helping me with my confusion. "Look…" I glanced back at him, not happy. "All I'm going to say to you is, you deserve someone who will treat you right. Who pays attention to you the way a man is supposed to." Where the hell does he get off, and why am I getting so upset about this? It was like he thought…

"Do you think Havoc and I are-"

"Can I help you Lieutenant Colonel Bowie?" I almost dropped all of my groceries when I heard Havoc right behind me. Bowie just gave him that same evil smirk before walking away.

"I'll talk to you later Abby."

"What did he want?" Havoc waited for Bowie to disappear before asking questions.

"Nothing, but I did ask him what happened the last time." Havoc didn't seem too pleased with that.

"And?"

"He just said that…" I didn't really know how to answer. I suddenly felt very self-aware. "He just said that he was going to steal me from you." Havoc started to chuckle like what I said was comical.

"Is that all he said?"

"Well…yah." I didn't feel like getting into the other part.

"Are you sure?" I nodded sternly a few times. "Alright. You all done?"

"Not quite. I still need to buy the meat."

"Let's get going then." Havoc grabbed the grocery bag that I was carrying and started to walk to the meat shop, with me right by his side.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and I was at the bar having dinner with Jessica, Daniel and Cord for the evening. Originally I had invited my team to come hang out, but I ran into Jessica outside the bar. Of course she insisted that I join them. We were having a pleasant conversation when my team walked in, with no Falman. Even though Falman never really talked much, I was starting to miss his presence. We all pretty much had the same seating arrangement from last time. Jessica already had a few drinks in, so she was more pleasant than normal. Havoc, Breda and Fuery put in their orders and continued the conversation about work. I couldn't help but catch the glares Havoc and Cord kept shooting at each other.

"So how was your date the other day?" I got Havoc's attention away from Bowie.

"What?"

"I saw you the other day with your date. You're right, she's pretty smokin'." A smile spread on Havoc's face.

"I sure hit the jack pot with her. She seems really interested in what I do too."

"Oh? When's your next date?" And when will this sting in my heart go away?

"Not till the weekend. Works been getting out of control, with what happened to Second Lieutenant Ross." More like chaotic. Edward defiantly didn't make it easy for us, but it did help with faking her death.

"Wait." Cord cut into our conversation. "You mean you two aren't dating?" I could feel my face turn red as my heart skipped a beat.

"Wh-wh-what?" I could feel a full on panic coming on. "Why would-why would you say that?"

"Jesus Abby, have you forgotten how to breath?" Jessica was now poking at me. I'm pretty sure I couldn't get any redder. No one has ever asked me, or us, that question.

"It's just…" Cord didn't seem to know how to finish his sentence. "Never mind."

"No, please. I'm intrigued." Havoc seemed more irritated than curious. Bowie gave him a cautious smirk.

"Well, at the Military Ball you two seemed pretty close." Military Ball? I guess he is a high enough rank to get a ticket. Did he see us dancing, but that smirk on his face was saying he had a dirty secret. My stomach suddenly sank. I just knew what he was implying.

"Cord?" I said his name very softly. Everyone was now zoning in to the conversation, feeling the tension.

"I decided to walk out on the patio for some fresh air, and happened to spot you two." I felt Havoc's body go stiff next to me. He must have just realized what Cord was talking about.

"What? Did you catch them making out or something?" Jessica teased. Please don't. I was pleading with my eyes.

"Yep." Was all Bowie said as he took a smug drink of his beer. Jessica started to choke on her drink. Everyone else slowly looked at Havoc and I, eyes wide with shock. My heart had completely sunk into my stomach. I felt like all the oxygen in the room had been sucked up.

"Are you serious?" Jessica was able to catch her breath enough to ask.

"Is it true?" Breda asked. He seemed concerned. I just stared back at him, not knowing how to answer. I could see him starting to put all the pieces together from when Havoc and I had stopped talking to each other. My gaze drifted over to Fuery, sitting next to Breda. He looked stunned. I looked back at Bowie. He still had that gut wrenching smirk. Just like me, Havoc was speechless, but his death piercing glare never left Bowie. I stood up from my seat, feeling my panic filled tears for the first time. I was going to give Bowie a piece of my mind, but each time I opened my mouth, nothing came out. I gritted my teeth and tried to make my way out of the bar as fast as I could.

"Abby!" I heard Fuery call out to me. I didn't stop, even when the cool night air hit me, I kept running. I can't believe someone saw us. I can't believe he told everyone, especially when I haven't even been able to talk to Havoc about it. How dare he! I was filled with such rage, and embarrassment. I could easily turn around and zap the life out of Bowie without even hesitating, but my feet were guiding me elsewhere. It's where they always take me when I'm troubled. When I realized what direction I was going, I forced myself to stop in my tracks. I couldn't go to Mustang's about this. He would ask questions that I couldn't answer. I looked up to the sky, just to be blinded by a street light. I was trying my best to squeeze out every last angry tear. It was faint but I could hear a pair of footsteps running my way. I finally brought my gaze back to the earth when I heard the footsteps stop, to see Havoc standing just a few feet away from me. He was trying his best to catch his breath.

"Why did you kiss me?" I finally asked him. We stared at each other, as I waited for his answer, with a heavy heart. I knew I was about to get my heart broken. I was ready. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 15!**

 **THANKS FOR READING!**


	16. Chapter 16: Confession

**XVI**

~ "Why did you kiss me, Havoc?" We had been having a stare off for some time now, and my chest was only getting tighter by each second that remained silent. He didn't seem to want to answer. All he did was continue to stare at me with pain in his eyes. "Why. Did. You. Kiss me?" With each word I closed the distance between us. I know had to look up to him, determined to get the answer. Still adamant, Havoc could no longer look me in the eye. It only angered me more. With my tears starting all over again from the anger, I tried my best to shove Havoc. "Damn it! Why did you kiss me?!" His feet barely moved back.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said. If a car had drove by at that moment, I would've missed it. I stared at him in shock. Sorry? Because it didn't mean anything? Because he was drunk? Before I knew what I was doing, my hand made contact with his cheek. The sound seemed to have echoed in the quiet streets.

"Damn you! You bastard!" I continued to hit his chest with closed fist. There was this hallow feeling where my heart was, and my stomach only felt heavy. Havoc must have had enough of my pounding, because he finally grabbed both of my wrist to stop me. When I struggled to get out of his grip, he pushed me back and pinned me to the lamp post. "How could you!?" I sobbed out one last time. I hung my head in defeat. I couldn't bare to look him in the eye anymore.

"You really want to know why?" His voice was stern, as if he was holding back from snapping at me. "Do you _really_ want everything to change?"

"Yes! Please. Just end this…" End this torture that's been going on for years. "I can't take it anymore." For a few moments it was silent between us. I could hear his breathing quicken with every second that went by. My heart didn't seem to want me to stop crying.

"Since the first moment I saw you…" It sounded like he was struggling with his words. The grip on my wrists tightened for a moment, before letting me go. I slowly looked back up to him, seeing the struggle in his eyes. "I've loved you." With those words, I had stopped breathing. One of his hand cupped my cheek as I continued to stare at him, again, in shock. "I can remember that day as clearly as you are now. I tried so hard to forget about you after graduating from the Academy. I figured I'd never see you again. That you'd just be transfer to Central or something, but no matter how hard I tried, you were all I could think about." For the first time in my life, my mind was blank, and I think my heart had stopped a few seconds ago. "By the time I recognized you when you were transferred to Eastern Headquarters, Mustang had already established that you were completely off limits. I thought it best to just carry on as it was, but the more we worked together, the more I got to know you; I only fell more in love with you." Still not being able to send anything to brain to speak, I continued to stare at him with my tears slowly drying. "I admit, Emily almost pulled me out of your spell." He finally looked away, as if he was going into another world for a moment. He slightly shook his head, snapping him out of his thought before looking back at me. "I kissed you that night for all the wrong reasons, and for that, I am sorry. A side from being drunk, I was hurt from breaking up with Emily. Angry from watching you be happy with another man. When it comes to you, Abby, I can't seem to control my feelings, or my actions. All of this has only made me realize one thing." He finally smiled. "It's always been you...and it will always be, only you." He paused for a moment, as if trying to read me. "I'm going to assume that the fact you haven't pushed me away, or tried to run means you feel the same." I still had no control over my brain. I couldn't even give him a simple nod. Havoc's other hand gently cupped my other cheek, quickening my heart. "I'm going to kiss you, again." What?! "If you don't want me to…stop me." Havoc started to slowly, very slowly, start leaning in towards me while keeping eye contact the entire time. The closer he got, the more both our eyes closed. He was so close now. My nose was completely filled with his smell. Cigarette smoke, cologne and the few beers he had. His lips brushed over mine as I took in a breath, preparing myself.

"Havoc!" Our eyes shot open again from the sudden presence of someone else, but Havoc didn't distance himself. Probably from fear of who it was. We both knew. "Who gave you orders to leave your post?" Mustang was not happy. "Say good-night to your girlfriend and get back ASAP!" Havoc finally stepped back from me, leaving me wide open for Mustang to see. I quickly glance at Mustang, who had Hawkeye park in the middle of the street. They both idled there, in complete shock seeing me standing there. Both Havoc and I had the biggest blush going on. We were caught red handed. I had to look at the ground, not able to stand Mustang's gaze any longer. "Both of you in the car." Mustang rolled his window back up. I don't know how Havoc was feeling, but I had a brick in my stomach.

"I guess we'll pick this up later." Havoc said as we walked around the car, making me blush all over again. I got in the back with Mustang, with Havoc taking the front seat with Hawkeye. The car ride was held in complete silent, with Riza taking quick peeks at me every now and then. I'm pretty sure she was smirking the whole time. I was dropped off first, leaving poor Havoc in the car with Mustang by himself.

"We'll talk later." Mustang said as I stood by his window on the sidewalk. I didn't say anything, just saluted as they drove off. I watched them turn the corner before making my way inside my apartment. When I reached my door, I quickly stepped inside and locked it before leaning my back against it, sliding down to the ground. I was hiding my still blushing face in my hands, trying to hide my big grin. My heart was still racing remembering everything that Havoc had said. All this time he still had those feelings. We always felt the same way towards each other. There was no way I was going to get any sleep tonight.

* * *

Only a couple days had passed and work was as busy as ever. Mustang made sure that I had enough to do during the day that by the time I made it home, all I could do was sleep. Hawkeye had asked for a fake vacation, seeming 'angry' at the Colonel. Of course she was staking out with Fuery, keeping an eye on Falman and Berry. Havoc also was on leave, staking out just a floor below Falman. Breda was sent out with Armstrong and FullMetal to show them that Second Lieutenant Ross was very much alive. While I, of course, got stuck with office duty. The Colonel was busy flirting away to 'Elizabeth' on the phone, like he has been since yesterday. The sky was glowing orange, indicating it was almost quitting time. I was trying to hurry and get my now dwindled pile of paperwork done.

"Hey." The soldier that now sat across from me, Havoc's usual seat, got my attention. "Doesn't this bother you?" He pointed at the Colonel who was having a grand time with 'Elizabeth'. I shook my head at the Colonel, smirking a bit.

"Not really." I chuckled a bit, answering the soldier. "I'm used to it by now." The room suddenly got quiet. I looked over to Mustang, who was staring back at me, with a serious look. He was now listening intently to the other side of the receiver. When he finally looked away, I tried to focus back on my work, but the silence was driving me crazy. Was something happening?

"What's wrong?" After what seemed like forever, Mustang finally asked, still selling the whole 'Elizabeth' act. I looked back at Mustang who was now sitting straight up in his chair. Something defiantly was going on. He looked stressed. I wanted to ask so desperately, but knew I couldn't. I swear I could hear muffled gunshots through the phone from where I was sitting. "Elizabeth…hey!" Mustang stood from his chair now, looking desperate. "What's going on?" I could see the panic in his eyes. The next second he threw the receiver down and practically ran out the door. "Lovington! You're with me!" Was all he said as he dashed out. I quickly ran out of my chair, catching up to him, leaving everyone else in utter confusion.

* * *

Night had fallen about ten minutes ago, and we were now all falling out of the car still following Berry's old, rotting body. On our way, we had learned a lot from Alphonse, who had volunteered to come with us. Turns out Homunculus' are real, and we probably had one hunting us down.

"My body ran in there. Seems to think it can hide from me." You could just hear the eagerness in Berry's voice.

"The 3rd Laboratory, huh? So this ties them to the military." Mustang turned to all of us. "That's all we need for now…we're pulling back."

"Well you have fun with that." Berry started heading for the 3rd Laboratory's front doors.

"Get back here!" Havoc snapped, knowing there was no stopping him. He was all geared up in an all-black outfit, with a masked that covered his face. Still didn't mask his cigarette smell though. I could hear Berry take out the scientist who were just standing outside the building. "That psycho stormed the building."

"Yep, it's our lucky day." Mustang seemed very pleased by the turn of events. Havoc seemed very confused by his enthusiasm. "You ready?" Mustang looked at me, signaling me to put my gloves on.

"Yes sir." I slipped them on quickly, as we all stormed the building, chasing after Berry. The halls were filled with women screaming and men ducking from the sight of Berry. We were trying our best to keep up with him. Everyone seemed surprised, and relieved, to see Mustang stroll in with all of us.

"All personnel must evacuate immediately!" Mustang shouted throughout the hall. A fellow soldier was walking with us, saluting Colonel Mustang.

"Um, Colonel?" He was very confused with everything that was going on.

"Stay back…the man who broke in is a derange murderer. My men will handle his capture." We were all lined up, ready to move to the lower level of the Laboratory. "Order your guards to seal off he exists!"

"Yes sir!" The soldier saluted once again before running off to fill his order. We all made our way down the stairs, with Havoc in the lead. We busted through the fenced gate, trying to figure out which way Berry went.

"How the hell are we supposed to find him?" Havoc was very annoyed. Mustang looked down the hall before looking to Hawkeye.

"We're gonna have to split up."

"Yes sir." Hawkeye agreed right away. I, on the other hand, thought it was a horrible idea; but orders are orders.

"Havoc and I will take this way. Alphonse, Lovington and you take the other hall." Mustang ordered as he made his way down the dark hallway. Hawkeye went in the other direction, followed by Alphonse. Both Havoc and I stood in place for moment, just staring at each other. He still had his mask on, so all I could focus on were his gentle blue eyes. It was as if we could read each other's minds. Be careful. I was the first to break away, running to catch up to Hawkeye and Alphonse.

* * *

The hallway was dark, and it wasn't getting any lighter. As the three of us ran our way through the darkness, I couldn't help but feel a sense of de ja vu. We had been running for a while, with no sign of Berry. All the rooms we passed seemed to have been some kind of torture room. At least that's what I took from it. Just then the whole hall shook, and off in the distance we could hear an explosion. It stopped us in our tracks looking back.

"Hawkeye?" The boys obviously ran into trouble. Anxiety was building up inside me as Hawkeye closed her eyes, struggled for only a second and continued down the way we were heading. Alphonse and I hesitated following her. Every bit of me wanted to turn around and find the boys, but Hawkeye was now in charge. Cursing myself, I stormed after Hawkeye. As we kept pushing, we could see light at the end of the hall. We rushed for it, with Berry becoming more and more visible. We stood in the center of the hall white room, catching our breath, trying to figured what had happened to Berry's human body. It was lying in a pool of blood with Berry standing over it.

"Sorry, but ya got here too late. Look at this mess, my body is damn near entirely decayed." Berry continued to ramble on about how a body can't hold up someone else's soul in it for too long. I took the time to examine our surroundings. This all felt so familiar. I was paying extra attention to the wall in front of us. It looked like a door. I wonder where it led? There was a set of footsteps behind now, and when we looked back, we were graced with…

"I know you." She looked different now. Much different. She's Havoc's girlfriend, but what was her name? Berry chuckled taking me away from trying to remember her name.

"I was wondering when you were gonna show up, Lusty." Lusty? No, that's not her name.

"Number 66, care to explain why you're helping the Colonel?"

"I thought it would be fun to switch things up a bit. Besides…" Hawkeye and I were keeping our guns on her, ready for anything thrown our way. "I've wanted to chop you up since I met you." Berry really was a freak.

"You're such a handful, 66. And I'm sad to see you here armor boy." Havoc's girlfriend, who I guess goes by Lust, sounded more bored than sad. "You just had to tag along. Talk about a setback…It's bad enough to lose one, but now you're forcing me to kill a second candidate."

"Candidate? A second one?" Alphonse was reading my mind. What the hell did that mean?

"Yah, you and Mr. Gallantry."

"That's enough of the casual chit chat, Lust! All I want to hear from you is screaming." Berry was charging her before we could ask any more questions. He leapt in the air, and next thing we knew, Berry was in pieces on the floor.

"I do hate over confident men." What…just happened? "Now then…" Lust brought her attention back to us. "Where were we? I think I was about to send the Lieutenants to join their superior." What? Lust started to walk slowly towards us, as Hawkeye and I tried to piece together what she just said. Hawkeye seemed to have realized something.

"Wait a minute…" Her hands that were still pointing the gun now started to shake uncontrollably. "When you said you'd already had to kill someone…I can't be." No. "You didn't!" No! Lust just gave us prideful smile, sending both Hawkeye and I over the edge. "You bitch!" We both started to empty our guns on her.

"No, no, no, no!" I screamed each time my finger pulled the trigger. Mustang…Havoc…they were… "NO!" I kept pulling the trigger even though there was nothing left. I threw my gun at Lust while Hawkeye pulled out a fully loaded gun. Hawkeye had way more guns than I, but she didn't waste a second empting each and every one of them on her. "Bring her down!" I screamed at Hawkeye, but she all out of guns. Lust had red light shooting around her as she started to regenerate. After all that, she was still standing.

"Are you done?"

"Not even close!" I snapped my finger, sending a powerful streak of lightning towards Lust. It hit dead center, sending her body out of control. I darted for the hallway, running pass Lust, just as the first shock was subsiding I went to snap again, but Lust had lengthened her nail, piercing me right through the thigh. I came crashing down to the ground, trying my best to keep in a scream. She was still convulsing from the electricity, but that grin was still on her face. It pissed me off! I went to give her another dose of lightning but she beat me to the punch. Using her other hand, she pieced my hand, ruining my transmutation circle. I didn't hold back my scream this time. We were screwed. Lust retracted her nails, making my blood run out of my body. I didn't know which wound to put pressure on. I looked at Hawkeye, who was now her knees. For the first time since I've met her, I saw her crying.

"Such a sad and weak creature. Another typical human." I shot Lust the best death glare I could muster.

"Shut up!" She had no right. I'm the one who always cries. Not Hawkeye. She's always the strong one.

"You on the other hand…you might be the perfect replacement for our sacrifice." Before I could even ask, Alphonse was walking in front of Hawkeye, catching Lust's attention.

"Stand up Lieutenant, you need to help Abby get out of here."

"Do you want me to kill you first?" In response to Lust's question, Alphonse clapped his hands. Without even needing to draw a circle, he transmuted a chunk of the floor into a spear. Lust was surprised, as was I. "Oh my, it appears you've opened the portal." Lust shredded the spear in pieces, then pierced his armor with three of her nails. "Such a shame, you are a perfect candidate." Candidate? Sacrifice? She keeps saying that but what does it mean? Lust then used her other hand, and sent her nails to stab Hawkeye. Alphonse moved his arm in the way, blocking any damage that would've been done.

"Listen Alphonse…" Hawkeye was still sobbing. "Get Abby and save yourselves."

"Hawkeye!" I yelled a protest.

"No!" Alphonse also protested.

"Run!"

"I won't!"

"Go!" Hawkeye still persisted. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was giving up.

"I won't leave you! I'm sick of watching people die! And I just can't sit back and take it anymore! I won't let anyone else get killed! Not when I can protect them!" Lust had enough of the bantering. She quickly lifted up her hand, slicing right through Alphonse, causing pieces of his armor to fly into the air and crash on the ground behind Hawkeye. That's when I saw him out the corner of my eye.

"Well spoken, I couldn't agree more." I could feel tears of relief well up in my eyes from the sounds of his voice. Realizing what was about to happen, from the sparks dancing in Mustang's hands, Alphonse quickly made a wall out of the floor, shielding Hawkeye and him. Luckily for me, I was off to the side, out of fire range. Mustang sent the first hell fire towards Lust as she grunted in pain. Even though I was safe from the fame, didn't I was safe from the heat. As the fire extinguished, Lust was now on her knees, knowing she was in trouble. "Looks like I can get you on your knees after all." He was holding his side, but I couldn't see exactly what he was covering from where I was. Mustang sent another fireball. I had to close my eyes from the heat.

"You should have bled to death by now!"

"I seared the wound closed. I came close to passing out from the pain." He said as he sent another wave of fire. Lust finally let out a blood curling, and I enjoyed the sound of it. He was such a badass! "You told me I couldn't kill you, but I'd like to try and prove you wrong!" He flicked the lighter once again. "So let's see, how many times is it gonna take?!" He repeatedly set her on fire again and again, not letting up for even a second. Her screams continued on with the burning. His filled with hatred. Before the flame could go out this last time, Lust took it upon herself to start attacking, nails flying toward Mustang.

"Colonel!" I screamed a warning. I knew he saw her coming, and without even flinching he set her up in flames again, with her nail only inches away from his skull. I let out a breath of relief as the two of them stared at each other.

"You killed me." She started to slowly turn to ash. "I hate losing, but there are worse ways to die than at the hands of a man like you." Mustang's cold stare never wavered, even when she gave him a smile of defeat. "I love how cold and focus your eyes are. I look forward to the day those eyes will be wide with agony." Her body had now full dissolved but we could still hear her voice, echoing through the room. "It's coming…it's coming." A red stone fell to the ground where she use to stand, and once it bounce off the ground, it too dissolved into the air. Not a moment later, the Colonel falls to the ground in pain.

"Colonel!" Hawkeye made her way over to him, kneeling at his side.

"Are you alright?" Mustang was able to grunt out.

"Forget about me, we need to get you some help! You and Abby." You could just see the relief on her face, even though there were still tears in her eyes.

"Abby?" Mustang was now looking over to me. "You alright?"

"Couldn't be better sir." I mustered a smile. He then looked to Alphonse.

"Thanks Alphonse. Thank you for looking after my subordinates."

"Yah, sure, we need to call you a doctor."

"Oh..yah…hurry. Call a doctor for Havoc. Please." Havoc?! That name alone had me back on my feet, and with difficulty, running towards the dark hallway again.

"Abby!" Mustang saw me fall again to the ground.

"Abby, what are you doing?" I ignored Alphonse as I struggled to get myself back up.

"Alphonse, help her down." Mustang ordered. Just before Alphonse reached me, I was back on my feet, running out the door. I kept trying my best to run down the hall. I didn't notice the first time coming down this, how many things were in the hallway. I swear I saw someone walking up the stairs to the upper floor, but I didn't have time to worry about it. It seemed like I had been running forever, checking every room that I had passed, when I finally spotted him. He was lying on the ground, eyes closed, with his shirt ripped open. Looks like he passed out from Mustang searing his wound shut. I fell to my knees, in pain, by him, taking his hand. We'll have to wait for the doctors to get here before moving him. Hopefully he stayed unconscious until then. I sat there in silence while I waited for the others to catch up. I could hear them in the distance. Mustang was grumbling, probably about how careless I am. That's when I realized something. Havoc didn't seem to be breathing. I felt a cold shiver go through my body. I leaned my face towards Havoc's not feeling any breath come from him. I then laid my head where his heart was, praying that it wasn't true. Nothing.

"No…" I didn't know what to do. I stared at him, not being able to process the truth.

"Abby?" Alphonse voice seemed concerned. I didn't turn around to them. I couldn't.

"What's wrong?" Now Mustang was concerned.

"He's dead…" I couldn't believe I just said those words. I could feel the shock of the others.

"Are you sure?" Mustang was ready to accept my words. I was in full panic now. I was rapidly trying to remember everything I had been taught in alchemy. Human transmutation was forbidden. Even with Alphonse hear with me, as a visual example that it never works, I was still trying to think of a way.

"No…"

"No? He's not dead?" That's right! My alchemy! My teacher told me a story about how she had zapped a man back to life once. She explained everything to me, and the dangers of it, but…it's possible. As long as the body was recently dead, it's possible! She even taught me the technique she used. I had to really focus now. The slightest mistake would probably kill us all.

"You all might want to take cover."

"What are you doing?" Mustang asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm going to bring him back."

"What?!" Using my other glove, that was on my non-hurt hand, I snapped my fingers, immediately clapping my hands together. I now had electricity dancing around my hands. I had to be careful with how much power I put into this. I quickly placed my hands on Havoc's chest, making sure I was sending the power to his heart, trying to get it to kick start. It was painful. When the wave faded, I waited to see if it worked. Havoc didn't budge.

"Again." I did the steps all over again, but this time the pain was much more. Still no response. "Havoc!" I did again. No response. "Don't you dare! You need to live!" Tears started to well up in my eyes again, when I was starting to realize the inevitable.

"Abby!" I ignored Mustang. It felt like I was losing my mind. I did it again, and again with no luck. "You can't leave me!" I screamed in the middle of a shock wave. Lightning was starting to dance everywhere. "Damn it Jean! Open your eyes!" I was about to do it again when Alphonse grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"Abby…" I stared up at him, with the tears rolling down my cheeks. Please no. I looked back down to Havoc, still motionless.

"We…we never picked it up later." I mumbled to myself. Alphonse let go of my wrist, and it hit the floor. "We never finished…" I couldn't finish the sentence. I could feel my whole world going black as I stared at the man who gave me so much light. I was never able to tell him how I felt, and now, he'll never know. "You bastard!" I threw my fist down on his chest as I sobbed. No one was saying anything, no one could. It was very faint, but I swear I could feel his chest rise up and down. It was all in my head, just a wishful pray.

"Who you calling bastard?" I stopped breathing in that very moment, eyes shooting open again. I could hear the surprised gasps from Mustang and Hawkeye. I was scared to look, but I had to confirm. Havoc's eyes were barely open, looking at me. I could feel a whole new wave of tears coming down, but this time, they were tears of sheer joy.

"You…you left me." I whimpered out. Havoc weakly raised his hand to my cheek, trying to wipe away the tears that were falling fast.

"But I came back." Even his smile was weak. I held his hand to my cheek, not wanting it to leave. It worked. He was alive.

"Welcome back." Mustang's voice was close. He must be right behind me.

"Thanks, but…why does it feel like I ran into a power line?" I couldn't help but scoff out a laugh. Havoc looked at me again, confused.

"I'll explain to you later. First we need to get you to the hospital."

"I'll go get a doctor!" Alphonse ran out the room and down the hallway. Hawkeye set Mustang down next to Havoc.

"Thought we lost you there." Mustang said softly.

"It's gonna take a lot more than a couple of puncture wounds to keep me down, Colonel." Only a few minutes from being back from the dead, and he's making jokes. "Besides, I have something precious that I can't leave behind." Mustang knew what he was talking about, but didn't say anything about it. It wasn't the time or the place.

"How are you holding up?" Hawkeye was asking me, referring to my wounds.

"I'm fine." I said as I pressed Havoc's hand closer to my cheek.

"Are you hurt?" Havoc asked, looking at my hurt hand. His eyes widened when he saw the blood.

"I'm okay." I tried to reassure him. He didn't look happy.

"You'll have to come to the hospital with us." It sounded like an order. I laughed, thinking that he really had the audacity to order me around when we are the same rank.

"Yes sir." I didn't want to argue. Not now. I was still walking on cloud 9. We could hear Alphonse running back down the hall, and he had back up this time. I didn't want to, but the doctors helped me up first, assisting me out of the building and into the ambulance. Next they loaded Mustang and then Havoc. Hawkeye said she would meet us at the hospital before they shut the doors. We all remained quiet the whole way there, silently thanking God, or whoever, that we were all still alive. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 16!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17: Paralyzed

**XVII**

~ The past several hours had been chaotic. Havoc had just gotten out of surgery about an hour ago, and the sun was just starting to rise. I had stayed behind with Breda to help guard Mustang and Havoc in the hospital room while Hawkeye went home to shower, and get some sleep. She also stated that she needed some time to repent before facing Mustang again. We were all going on shifts to guard them. I was planning on being on every shift. I felt uneasy with the thought of being separated from these two. I was lounging in one of the chairs that was placed between the two beds, trying my best to get comfortable. Some nurses had stitched and bandaged me up before moving onto the next patient. I had stitches on both the palm and back of my hand. Luckily, only one side of my thigh was punctured. That Lust woman didn't dig as deep as I had thought she had at the time. I was ordered to take it easy and not put a lot of pressure on my leg until it heals more.

"Hey." My head snapped up. I didn't even realize I was drifting off until Breda's hand was gently shaking me. He could tell I was a bit confused when I looked up at him. "Why don't you go home? I think I can manage the first watch, and Hawkeye should be coming soon."

"No…I'm okay." I mumbled out. I could tell Breda wanted to argue, but knew he wasn't going to win. He walked back over to the window and gazed out of it. My eyes shifted from Breda, to Havoc's still sleeping face. I came so close to losing him, and I can't believe my technique worked. I would have to tell my teacher! I haven't written to her in so long, anyways. It was certainly past due.

"Hawkeye's coming up." Breda pulled my attention again.

"You can head out." I said as I squirmed once again, trying to find another comfort spot.

"You're the one who needs to go." His argument was getting closer and closer to the tip of his tongue, but I wasn't going to back down.

"I'm fine, Breda. I can last another day or two here."

"Lovington…" Just then the doors to the room slid open, and Hawkeye walked in.

"Good morning." Her time away did her good. She looked like Riza Hawkeye again.

"Good morning. Looks like you're feeling better."

"Yes. It's amazing what a hot shower will do for you." A shower sounds amazing!

"You can go home now, Lovington." Breda pressed. I just glared at him. I wasn't going to back down.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not-"

"Go home, Lovington. That's an order." Hawkeye said in the most unamused tone she could use.

"All due respect, Lieutenant, but I would feel better if I stayed here."

"No. You need to go home. Get yourself cleaned up and have a few hours of rest. You can come back later night when you're feeling better." I glared at the both of them before standing up, with difficulty. Breda seemed relieved with Hawkeye's answer. I limped over a few feet to Havoc's bed, taking his hand.

"I'll be back." I quietly said, while squeezing his hand.

"Breda will help you to your apartment."

"Thanks, but I think I can manage."

"Stop being difficult!" Her tone surprised me. I think this is the first time Hawkeye has ever snapped at me. "You need to take care of yourself, so you don't worry others." Her gaze went straight to Mustang's sleeping face as she said it. I understood, and immediately felt guilt. I was being childish. Breda came by me and I swung my arm over his shoulder, using him as a crutch. I couldn't feel any more pathetic. "We'll see you later tonight." Hawkeye gave me a small smile as I slowly limped towards the door with Breda.

"Yes ma'am." I nodded gently before exiting the room.

* * *

The few hours of sleep didn't do too much for me. I felt even more exhausted than before, but I couldn't stand the thought of closing my eyes again. It was already getting pretty late in the afternoon. I had managed to clean myself as best I could without getting my stitches wet, and made my way to the office, fully dressed in uniform. I could hear people whispering as they watched me limp my way down the hallways. I guess news travels pretty fast around here. Not as fast as Eastern Head Quarters though. When I stepped through the open door of Mustang's office, I was flustered by what I saw.

"What the-where is everyone?" Fuery and Falman were the only ones in the office, trying to get some work done.

"I guess they all decided to take the day off with the Colonel being out of the office." Unbelievable! This is only going to cause more work for everyone else! Unfortunately, I wasn't going to be any help, with my writing hand being out of commission for some time now.

"What can I help with?" Hopefully there might be something I could help with.

"Actually, could you take these down to Lieutenant Colonel Bowie's office?" My eye twitched in irritation from hearing that man's name. I quickly glanced over the paperwork to see why it was needing Bowie's attention.

"Isn't this the case the Colonel was about to wrap up?" He's been working on this one for weeks now.

"Yah, Lieutenant Colonel Bowie said he would take over until the Colonel returns. It's just needing his signature of approval to continue on with investigating." I stared angrily at the paper as Fuery finished explaining.

"Fuery…" When Fuery heard the tone of my voice, he instantly looked up, nervous. "Are there any other cases Lieutenant Colonel Bowie is trying to take over?"

"Um..well…yes. There are a few." I slammed the piece of paper on the desk, making Fuery jump. I was so irritated that I swear lightning was trying to spark out of my hands without my gloves on.

"I need you to gather all the cases and give them to me at the end of the day." I started walking out the office with Fuery saying that he'll get it done. I marched my way through the halls, trying to favor my good leg, searching for Bowie. I was going to give him a good piece of my mind. My fumes were blazing so hot that I no longer care who held the higher rank. At this moment I am done with ranks! I turned the corner and spotted him instantly. He was conversing with a fellow soldier, just laughing away, not realizing what was coming his way. He noticed me when I was only a few yards away.

"Lieutenant Lovington, it's good to see you walking around." I gritted my teeth when I saw that God damn smirk was spread across his face.

"What's your angle Bowie?" I stopped just inches away from him. His comrade seemed a bit intimidated.

"I believe you forgot to add Lieutenant Colonel in there, and I don't know what you're getting at." Oh he was getting my blood to boil.

"Don't play stupid! You're trying to swoop in and snag all of the cases Colonel Mustang almost has wrapped up! Getting all the credit and glory. Well guess what? It's not happening! Go find your own damn cases to solve!" Bowie's eyes darkened. He took a step towards me, putting his face right next to mine. I could feel his breath gently press on my face. Normally I would've back off, but my rage was helping me stay my ground.

"How's 2nd Lieutenant Havoc?" My glare sank even lower when I couldn't hear any sincerity in his question.

"Recovering well, but I don't see what he has to do with what we're talking about?"

"I just think it's a real shame. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see his face around here again." I couldn't believe what he just said. Was he saying he wanted Havoc to die? Even his buddy was shocked. I held back my angry tears and gritted my teeth. I quickly rose my hand and saluted him. Bowie was surprised by my gesture.

"I apologize in advance, sir!" I spat out the last part of that sentence. Bowie just seemed confused now. I then took the hand that was saluting him, and slapped it hard across his face. I almost cried out from the pain shooting from my hand. I probably should have slapped him with my other hand. The look on his face led me to believe that this was the first time someone has ever slapped him. He brought his hand up to his cheek as he looked at me in shock. I quickly gave him another salute before turning on my heels and trying my best not to limp away. I was trying so hard to hide my smirk from all the bystanders that had seen the whole thing. That felt good! Maybe a little too good. I knew there was going to be consequences, but it was worth it. I entered Mustang's office again, closing the door behind me.

"Is everything okay?" Fuery was right behind me, holding a long rolled up piece of paper.

"Everything's great." I gave him a whole hearted smile. "What's that?" I gestured to the paper.

"Oh, it's something Hawkeye was working on earlier this morning. She forgot it and called to ask if I could bring this down to them and relieve Breda for a while." So even Hawkeye didn't get much sleep.

"So does that mean they're awake?" My heart flutter at the thought of Mustang and Havoc finally opening their eyes. At least _they_ were able to get some decent shut eye.

"Yah, sounds like it." Fuery made his way pass me and opened the door. "I'll be back shortly, but the Colonel was hoping you could swing by later, maybe with a treat." Oh I'll bring a treat alright. One that involves his signature!

"Sure." I gave Fuery a sweet smile before he left down the hall. I went to sit down by Falman at my desk. I saw a decent pile of paperwork that I quickly looked through. Looks like it was what I asked Fuery to work on before running off to find Bowie. I let out a long sigh, and prepared myself for the long day ahead of sorting out all the paperwork. Here we go!

* * *

"Damn it!" I was making my way towards the hospital, trying my best to not drop all the paperwork I had brought. It was already early evening, and the sun was slowly setting to this long day. I rearranged the paperwork in my arms so I could open one of the double doors to the hospital. I pretended to pat myself on the back when I managed to do it without dropping anything. I was just about to pass through the lobby when a specific patient caught my eye. I noticed Hawkeye had her back turned, meaning Mustang was talking privately with Dr. Knox, but it looked like they were done. Dr. Knox was walking away now. Our eyes quickly met and I gave him a small smile.

"Good evening Dr. Knox." He didn't return my smile, or say anything. Just continued on his way. Not the most personable doctor. I shrugged it off and made my way towards Mustang. When he noticed me, I couldn't help but find the way he was hiding the book he was reading, very suspicious.

"Lovington, what are you doing here?" He didn't look too good. Almost like someone had shot his dog. It almost made me feel bad for what I was about to do.

"I'm here to deliver your treat." I gave him an innocent smile as I dropped all the paperwork I had onto his lap. It surprised him and didn't give him enough time to prepare for the impact. "These all need your signature by late tomorrow." He didn't even bother going through the pile. My suspicion heightened. Even Hawkeye seemed a bit down. "Is everything okay, Colonel?" My question seemed to have snapped them both out of their thoughts.

"Oh, yes. Is this everything?" For all the paperwork I just gave him, he normally would've sighed out a complaint by now.

"For now."

"Very well. Thanks for bringing this down." I wanted to press the matter, but figured if I needed to know, one of them would tell me.

"Well, I'm going to go see Havoc now. I'll see you when you come back up." I spun around and headed for the hallway that lead to Havoc's room.

"Wait." Mustang's protest surprised me. I looked back at him, waiting for more of an explanation. "He's asleep, so now probably isn't the best time."

"It's okay. I was planning on being here for a while." As I disappeared down the hallway, I couldn't help but think how weird everyone was acting. I approached the closed door, and just as I was reaching for it I could hear Breda on the other side.

"The retired life doesn't suit you." My hand that froze on the door handle slipped away as Breda opened the door. He was surprised to see me standing here on the other side. He didn't say anything as he walked passed me, even though I knew he could read the question in my eyes. Retired? I slowly walked into the room, seeing Havoc was fully awake. He was eyeing me as I continued my way toward his bed. I didn't know what to ask, or even if I should ask. I stood there at the edge of his bed, fidgeting with the top blanket, as he finally looked away, out the window.

"I've decided to start the retired life a bit early." His voice was so dead.

"Why?" My voice was becoming shaky. The very thought of him not being around…left me feeling as empty as his voice sounded.

"My injuries have left me paralyzed from the waist down, and there's a slim chance that surgery can reverse the damage."

"But there's still a chance?" At the sound of hope in my voice, Havoc's grip on the blanket he was clenching tightened. He didn't say anything. Just continued to stare out the window absently. I just wish he would look at me.

"I need…to be alone right now." This wasn't the first time he has dismissed me, and I knew it wasn't going to be the last. However, this time…I've never seen him look so lonely. I wanted nothing more than to take him in my arms and try to ease the hurt.

"We'll figure something out. Who knows, maybe-"

"Please, Lovington. Just leave me alone." There was no stopping the sting to his words. I hovered over his bed for a moment. Contemplating whether or not to tell him off. I let out a quiet sigh and turned back to the door. I decided to bite my tongue. He needed to sulk for at least a day. It was a lot to take in. Suddenly becoming paralyzed. Feeling useless.

"I'll be back tomorrow." I mumbled before closing the door. I didn't move from the closed door. All I wanted to do was cry. Cry for him, because I knew he wasn't going to do it for himself. I shook my head, pushing back the tears that were inching their way to the surface. Crying for him wasn't going to do him any good. I needed to figure something out, even if it was something small, to lift his spirits. I started moving down the hall from where I came, ready to do whatever it takes to get Havoc back on his feet. Literally.

* * *

I have been standing outside of Gracia Hughes' apartment door for a while now. I haven't stopped by for a visit since I've been in Central. I've tried knocking a few times, but I just couldn't get my knuckles to make contact with the wooden door. The last time I was in this apartment was when we were all summoned by Fuhrer Bradley to catch the Freezing Alchemist. Maes had invited me over, along with the Elric Brothers for dinner. This place was full of life and laughter, and I was scared. Scared that it had all changed. I wanted to keep that memory forever, without anything changing, but I know clinging onto the past was childish. For the last time I brought my fist up to the door, finally knocking on it a few times. I could slightly hear movement on the other side, indicating that Gracia was home. I held my breath as the door opened a bit slowly.

"Oh! Abby? What a surprise." Gracia fully swung the door open, with a bright smile on her face. I let out the breath I was holding. She looked like she always did. I think I was more surprised than relieved.

"Hi. Sorry for just dropping by, is this a bad time?"

"No, no. We were just baking a pie. Please come in." She moved to the side so I could walk by. I saw the look of concern cross her face when she noticed me limping. I could instantly smell the pie baking in the air. It smelt like apple. Gracia's most famous pie. I quickly scanned the entrance and living room. I don't know why I had it in my mind that everything was going to look different, but it was all the same since the last time I was here. I could hear Elica in the kitchen singing a song and giggling. "Please have a seat." Gracia motioned for one of the couches in the living room. I nodded and took my seat in the middle of the three-person couch. "I'll be right back." Gracia said as she headed back to the kitchen. I looked around the room, taking everything in. My attention was brought to a small picture frame on the coffee table. It was a picture of Maes, Gracia and Elica embracing one another, smiling big. I could feel my heart break once again as my gaze locked on the familiar face of Maes. I shouldn't have come…

"Ms. Abby!" Elica's excited voice pulled me out of my gloom. She ran up to me and immediately gave me a big hug.

"Hi kiddo! Wow, you're getting big!" Elica broke the hug and took a step back to look at me. "The last time I saw you, you were only this big." I held my hand just a bit lower from the top of Elica's head.

"I know my ABC's." She said it so proudly.

"You're kidding! You know all your ABC's"

"Yep! You wanna hear?"

"Let's hear it." I could feel my heart start to warm up as the adorable 3-year-old sang me the alphabet. She stumbled a bit when she got to 'W' but finished strongly. I clapped at her accomplishment, seeing the proudness of herself in her eyes. "That was really good."

"Wanna go play in my room?"

"Maybe some other time, sweetie." Gracia said as she sat across from me on the smaller couch. "Abby came by to visit with mommy." I couldn't help but smile when the look of disappointment spread across the Elica's face.

"I'll tell you what, Elica. I promise I'll come by again and we can play all day long." The disappointment slowly disappeared from her face and she gave me a big smile before running off towards her room. I giggled quietly as I watched her close the door, hearing her hum a new song to herself.

"So what brings you down this way?" Gracia still had her gentle smile. I stared at her, trying to word everything together in my head before explaining. Before coming here, I had argued with Mustang for the longest time. I had found Breda whispering something into Mustang's ear in the hospital's lounging area. I was able to find out that Breda was booking a train ticket to the town Dr. Marcoh was found in by the Elric Brothers and Major Armstrong. I wanted to so desperately go with Breda, but Mustang wouldn't have it.

" _If you think it's so dangerous, then I_ should _go with Breda! Having a back-up is better than-"_

" _I already said no!" All of us were surprised by his outburst, but he instantly went back to his cool self. "And now, that's an order."_

My eyes lowered remembering the argument. I only stopped because of Hawkeye's glare. It told me to back off before she got involved, and there never was any winning with her. Breda's train was probably just about ready to take off. I took in a deep breath, knowing what I wanted to ask of her now.

"I need some advice."

It took a good hour for me to explain everything to Gracia. I had started my story with the events that had happened at the Military Ball, and ended with today's events. I had left out with what happened to us the other night. I only mentioned that we were all hurt, and Havoc got the worst of it. Being paralyzed from the waist-down. Of course she didn't ask for details. Maes and her may have told each other everything, but she knew when it came to the military, the less you knew the better.

"I see." Gracia took in a deep breath as she stared off to one of the picture frames that had her and Maes in it. "Maes had told me about you and Havoc." That didn't surprise me. I always figured his great advice that he gave me actually came from her. "He was always hoping you two would end up together." I felt a pinch in my heart, remembering the last words Maes had ever spoke to me.

 _"Remember Abby, I'm cheering for you."_

"I just don't know how to help." Gracia's smile went from warm to amused with my statement.

"I think the best way to help now, is to just be there when he needs you." I just stared at her blankly. I was kinda hoping for a more…helpful answer. "He's going through a lot right now. It's going to take some time for him to work things through. Right now he's not seeing much hope in all this. You just need to make sure he doesn't give up all hope, and be there when he's ready." What she was saying was making sense, but it still involved just sitting around, waiting. Still, her words eased my heart a bit. "You know…" It looked like what she wanted to say next was hard for her to say. "Maes always thought of you as a daughter." My eyes widened in surprise by her words. "He would always joke around about having an adopted daughter in the Eastern Head Quarts. I think he even had a picture of you that he would show off along with Elicia." I couldn't stop the sudden tears fall as my heart shattered from learning about this. I always knew I was dear to him, but…to have such a loving connection with me. To think me as a daughter. Gracia's smile saddened a bit. "I know he only wanted you to be happy, Abby. We all do." I brought my hand to my mouth to stop the sob from coming out. I was overwhelmed with so much emotion. She got up from the couch to come sit by me and gave me a well needed hug. "I miss him too." Her voice shook for a moment before she cleared it. I'm sure she's cried many nights from the loneliness. "How about we go into the kitchen, and you can help me bake another pie to bring to Roy and Jean?" I just nodded my head, letting her embrace dry up my tears. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. The comfort of a mother was truly a beautiful thing.

* * *

I took the next day off from work so I could spend most of it with Mustang and Havoc. I had dressed casually comfortable with jeans and a t-shirt. I had the wicker carrying basket that Gracia let me borrow for the pie, rest on my arm. I figured the pie would serve a good afternoon snack for the three of them. I'm sure Hawkeye hasn't left Mustang's side since she got there yesterday. As I entered the hospital I found Mustang right away, at the telephone. He had just hung it up and was turning around to leave. He spotted me and stopped in mid stride. Hawkeye looked over to see it was I who had grabbed his attention. Mustang just shook his head and I knew Breda didn't find Dr. Marcoh. I could feel a twinge of hopelessness come over me. Marcoh was our only hope. At least for now. I looked back up to Mustang who was still just standing there. I held up the wicker basket, smiling. He smiled back, knowing that I had actually brought a treat this time. The three of us were just about to reach Mustang and Havoc's room when we saw two bodies leave. One was military personnel and the other was an elderly looking woman. It looked like she was crying.

"Well. If you'll excuse me." The man said as he shut the door, escorting the woman down the hall. Now curious, Mustang went and opened the door, with Hawkeye and I right behind him.

"Who was that?" Mustang asked. I kept watching the soldier and woman until they went around the corner.

"My mother and an officer from the veteran's council." We were all surprised by this sudden news. "I've decided to go ahead with my retirement." Havoc was just looking out the window again as we entered the room. I closed the door behind me and walked to the other side of the bed. I was going to have Havoc look at one us one way or another. Of course, with me standing there in his sight he only looked down towards his bed.

"They don't know for certain if your wounds are inoperable." There was a hint of desperation in Mustang's voice.

"I'm not dumb enough to think I have a chance…I'm useless." I could see how tight Havoc was clenching onto his bed cover.

"You're wrong." Havoc finally looked up at Mustang with both annoyance and anger.

"Look, don't say you can use a pawn that can't move." His words weren't even directed at me and I felt hurt. Mustang just looked helpless now, not know what to say to Havoc. "And don't you look at me like that." Havoc said through gritted teeth. He grabbed onto Mustang's shirt collar, bringing him down closer. "Forget about me…Move on already!" I couldn't believe what I was seeing. We were all frozen in place by Havoc's outburst. "You don't have time to worry about me! You need to think about the promise you made to General Hughes instead of pitying me!"

"Lieutenant Havoc!" Hawkeye had finally moved towards Havoc gently placing her hands on him, trying to calm him down. Havoc was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath from all his shouting. His grip from Mustang's collar loosened.

"Just let me get on with my life." His eyes held so much desperation. "I beg you." He lowered his head as he pleaded. My grip on the wicker basket tightened as I realized that he has given up on all hope. There was pain and regret in Mustang's eyes. We were all hurting for him. Mustang grabbed Havoc's wrist and gently removed Havoc's hand from his shirt.

"Alright. You're cut loose."

"Colonel!" I was quick to protest. Havoc just closed his eyes and processed the pain from Mustang's words. He wanted Mustang to tell him that, but I knew at the same time, he didn't. The room went quiet for a moment before Mustang spoke up again.

"I'll leave you behind so you can catch up." Both Havoc and I were shocked. Hawkeye didn't seem so surprised. Like she knew he was going to say just that. "I've gotta keep moving…but I'll see you at the top." I watched as Mustang left the room, closing the door. Hawkeye eased Havoc back against his pillow.

"He doesn't give up…He didn't even think about turning his back on me…And I had given up on living. It's not in him to abandon others…He refuses to." Her words were gentle, and yet the troubled Havoc. He brought the back of his hand to his forehead, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"He's a fool. He's not gonna make it to the top…This country'll chew him up if he keeps on acting this soft." I was about to argue with him, but Hawkeye beat me to the punch.

"Well, I don't know about that. This country needs a fool like that man." She was a bit gentler with it than I would have been. "If you'll excuse me." She quickly saluted before heading out to find Mustang. She said all that she needed to say. We were now left there alone, and in silence. I wasn't able to look at Havoc. To be honest, I don't even know what I was looking at. I guess whatever I was able to lay my eyes on.

"What are you still doing here?" He sounded tired. I didn't respond to him. Nothing I wanted to say was going to help him. "Just go home."

"I wanna stay." I mumbled, knowing I was only go to upset him.

"I don't want you here." I was trying really hard to remember what Gracia had told me the other day. "I don't need you to remember me like this." I finally looked up from the floor to him. He was talking like we were never going to see each other again. I could see he knew what I was thinking. "It's really disappointing that we can't finish what we started." I felt a chill go through my body.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't even try to tell me that things can work out now. I'll be moving back to my hometown, keeping track of the phone calls at my parent's store. I'm a loser now." That chill I felt was gone. Now I was hot with rage. "I think we both know that when I leave, sooner or later you'll forget all about me and move on to the next guy who has potential. Lieutenant Colonel Bowie seems like a good match up for you." That's it! I placed the basket next to Havoc's legs on the bed. "Even Jessica approves of him-" Before he could finish his sentence my good hand made contact with his cheek. I was pissed. My body was even trembling from the rage and hurt I was feeling. I didn't say anything for a while. I was trying to tame my emotions, while he just stared at me in shock.

"You think…" My voice was trembling along with my body. "You think that little of my feelings for you? You think that just because you can't walk anymore I'm just going to move on to the next guy? You really think if you're not around…" I went quiet again. It was eating me away at the thought of not having him at my side anymore. This man in front of me…This man who was wilting away in despair… "You are not the man I fell in love with!" I snapped my tear filled eyes at him in anger. The look on his face made me think that he had stopped breathing. "Let Breda, or whoever, know when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, so they can tell me. I won't be back until you're ready to fight again." I walked around his bed and reached for the door, slamming it shut behind me. Mustang was just down a way, sitting on a bench. He was looking at me with a bit of fear in his eyes. He must have heard most of my shouting. I angrily wiped away the tears that fell over my checks and huffed out a breath before storming down the hallway. My adrenaline from slapping Havoc was still high. I couldn't even feel my leg wound anymore. I regret slapping him. It felt like kicking a man that was already down. Hopefully he would snap out of this Dooms Day gloom so I could come see him to apologize. Until then, I'll just have to keep myself busy with whatever I can find. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 17**

 **THANKS FOR READING! :D**


	18. Chapter 18:Three Months Later

**XVIII**

~ It was getting late in the afternoon when I sat down behind the counter, next to the cash register. It had been a busy morning, but things were dying down. I was able to finish the daily chores and now waited patiently for things to pick up again. The busiest times were right when the store opened and just before it closed. I propped my elbows on the counter and rested my chin on my hands as I watched the people of the town walk by outside. My mind started to drift off to what the others were up to, and the last conversations I had with them. Hoping they were all still doing fine…

* * *

 _I was over at Mustang's making him dinner. I had ended up moving back in with him. After with what happened, I thought it best for not just him but also me to have someone around. It's been a couple weeks since I last saw Havoc, and he still hasn't sent anyone for me. My patience was running thin. I heard the front door open and close._

" _You're home early." I continued to stir dinner, adding a few more ingredients. Mustang didn't walk into the kitchen like he usually did. Instead, I heard him go straight upstairs. He sounded like he was in a hurry. Curious, I turned the stove off and made my way upstairs. I peeked into his room to see it Mustang-less. I could hear things being thrown around in my room. I ran over to my door to see Mustang shoving whatever he could lay his hands on into my travel suitcase that I had just unpacked the other day. "What are you doing?" I walked in my room examining what he was packing. It was mostly clothes, but some books were thrown in the mix._

" _No time to explain. Get any bathroom supplies you will need." He barked as he ran across the room to start emptying out my drawers._

" _Colonel, you're starting to freak me out." The suitcase was practically full as it was. I don't know how much more he could smash in there._

" _Do what I say! We don't have much time, thanks to my big mouth."_

" _Just tell me what's going on!" He finally stopped and looked at me, irritation clear on his face. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from his military jacket as he walked over to my desk._

" _You need to sign this." He placed the paper and pen on the desk, x-ing out where I needed to sign. I walked over to examine the paper. I felt my heart sink a bit when I saw it was a 'Request for Leave' form. He had already filled everything out. Even signed where his signature was needed before me. Mustang went back to packing my suitcase. "I was only able to get you a few weeks off. Anything after that you will be considered AWOL." And there went my stomach. "You are to stay hidden until you hear from me, and only me. Do you understand?" I couldn't speak. Everything was getting jumbled in my mind. "Lovington! Do you understand?"_

" _No! I don't understand! What is this?" I held the paper up, menacingly. He just stared at me. He was hiding something, and he didn't want me to know. He slammed my suitcase shut and latched it up before picking it up by the handle. "Mustang..." Why won't you talk to me? He walked right pass me and out my bedroom. "Mustang!"_

* * *

"Helen?" I was brought out of my thoughts when my boss walked out of the backroom with his wife. They were an elderly couple, but still had plenty of life in them. "We're leaving for the station now. Are you sure you'll be alright closing by yourself?" I couldn't help but smile at him. All week he had been training me on how to close, just for this day. I have been working for them for about a month now.

"Don't worry. You've trained me well."

"Thanks so much for doing this again. You've been such a great help for us lately." His sweet wife said as she came up to the counter.

"It's no trouble at all."

"Well if you want to stop by our place later and have dinner with us, you are more than welcome. It'll give you a chance to meet our son." She said cheerfully. My heart fluttered at the very thought.

"I might take you up on that offer."

"And if not, you'll meet him Monday when you come to work." My boss also approached the counter. "Do you work at the bar tomorrow?" He asked as he placed his hand gently on his wife's shoulder. They were such an endearing couple.

"I do. I have to open." I have two jobs right now. I normally work the day shift at the bar. It also functions as a decent restaurant during the day. I then run over here to help with the last rush of the day, and help close.

"Well then make sure you get a good night's rest. We'll do introductions on Monday, or if you just want to stop by and say hi; you are more than welcome." His wife really was the sweetest. Always looking after my well-being. With his hand still on her shoulder he started to guide her towards the door. If she had her way, she would talk to me all day, but they had to get to the station before their son's train came in.

"Drive safe." I waved them off with a smile. With the shut of the door the store was quiet again. I scanned the store to see what was needing to get done before the evening rush came. With the end of the day glow you could see all the dust that was in the air.

* * *

 _Mustang had slammed on the brakes so hard, I almost went out the windshield. We were right outside the hospital. I was clenching my seat the whole way here. Who thought it was good idea to put this guy behind the wheel? Where the hell was Hawkeye?_

" _You have ten minutes. Say what you need to say, and get out. We have places to be." He said as he shut off the engine. Knowing very well that he wasn't going to elaborate any further, I got out of the car, slamming my door shut. With all my built up anger I was able to reach Havoc's room in no time. Without giving myself a chance to hesitate, I opened his door and marched right in. He was more than surprised to see me. I was hoping he would have some answers._

" _What are you doing here?"_

" _Mustang brought me here. Said I only have ten minutes. What the hell is going on?"_

" _What are you talking about?" By his reaction, it didn't seem he knew what was going on either. Great._

" _Mustang came home and started packing my bags, with an ROL form all filled. Said I was going AWOL until I hear from him." My anger was only building with every word I said. The fact that Havoc knows nothing wasn't helping. I felt nauseous with the sudden realization. "What if…" Havoc was watching me carefully. "What if he's sending me away because of…" Hawkeye's words from when we went dress shopping were swimming through my head._

" _No." He quickly took hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He was reading my mind again. I hate it when he does that. "There is no point of reassigning you elsewhere when I'm discharged. Especially having you go AWOL. Besides…" A small smile crept on his face. "I really think even if I wasn't leaving he still wouldn't be sending you away. He relies on you too much, and I'm was too much of an asset for the team. Something more is going on."_

" _But he won't tell me anything!" Our conversation was put on pause when Breda stood in the doorway. He hesitated before walking in. "Breda?" I was pleading with my eyes for any information._

" _Sorry Lovington, but I have strict orders not to say anything." The look Havoc and he shared made me believe it was serious. "Mustang wanted me to tell you to wrap it up in here."_

" _Breda please, I'm begging you."_

" _I can't…" I could tell he wanted to tell me, but orders are orders. I couldn't press anymore. Havoc squeezed my hand again, bringing my attention back to him._

" _I'm sure things will explain itself sooner or later." I squeezed his hand back._

" _I don't like this."_

" _I know, but for now…you need to go." Was this good-bye then? And if it was, for how long? He was going to be discharged soon, so even when I come back, he won't be here. I wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms, but Breda was still in the room. I glanced to the side of me at Breda. He seemed to have taken the hint, because he turned the other way giving us some privacy. The second Breda's back was turned Havoc pulled me down towards him. He no longer smelt like cologne, but his smell wasn't bad. There was a faint cigarette smell to his clothes. I was taking it all in. The way he smelt, how his arms felt around me. Everything. The thought of him not being around anymore felt…weird. Almost empty like. Tears were starting to swell up in my eyes, but I held them back. His embrace tightened for a moment before he started to help me up, or at least that's what I thought he was doing. Before I could go anywhere, his one hand found its way to the back of my head, pushing me back down, finding my lips with his. I wasn't expecting this. I felt dizzy by the sudden sensation of butterflies. We gently separated. Even though the kiss was short, it left us wanting more. Much more. I quickly propped myself up before either of us went for it. Havoc had a subtle blush to his face. I had no doubt that I wasn't any better. "See you soon." He said it so softly. I nodded, with a gentle smile on my face, before turning around to leave. I quickly saw that even Breda was blushing a bit. He knows exactly what just happened. I could feel myself go even redder as I shut the door to Havoc's room._

* * *

The door to the shop rung, indicating that someone had entered. I quickly ran back out front. I was checking inventory in the back to see what was needing to be on our next order sheet.

"Good evening, welcome to-oh. Hi Adam."

"Hey Helen! Got your delivery, where do you want me to put it?"

"Back here." I led Adam to the back, showing him where to put the large crate he was caring. He plopped it down without a second thought of what was inside. Must not be anything too fragile. I was surprised it didn't break open. Adam helps run his father's trading business. He's even looking to buying it from his father here in the near future. He's a friendly fellow. Even pretty easy on the eyes. He's helped me a few times around town. I've even hung out with his little group of friends a few times. It only made me miss my team more.

"You got tomorrow's list?" He asked a bit breathy. I tore off the bottom part of the paper I was writing on and handed it to him. "Thanks." He gave me a friendly smile. I nodded with a smirk. "So where are mom and pops?" He was referring to my boss and his wife. I guess their son and Adam were really close growing up together.

"They already left for the station. I think they should be there by now." It was getting to the last hour of the evening before closing. The streetlights were starting to light up.

"Oh crud! I thought he wasn't coming till later. I gotta get going!" Adam started jetting off back to the front. He hesitated when he reached the door. "You know you're invited to join us tomorrow? We're gonna go out for the night and throw him a welcome home party."

"Thanks, but I think I'll let you guys have your time. It'll be weird throwing a stranger in the mix."

"It won't be weird. Besides, it'll give you a chance to meet him before you start working with him."

"I really appreciate it, but I'm good. I'll just meet this awesome fellow on Monday."

"Alright. Suit yourself, but if you get bored you know where to find us." I nodded before he left the store, jingling the chime once again. I looked up at the clock to see how much longer I had. Surprisingly it was a pretty slow evening. He should be arriving any moment now. My stomach did a quick flip with the thought of being able to see him soon. Would I really be able to wait until Monday? Maybe I will join them tomorrow. Would he even recognize me? I brushed my fingers through my now very blonde hair. Of course it was fake. I had bought a wig from the next town over from this one. Mustang's warning rang in my head. " _You'll need to disguise yourself."_ I shook the thought out of my mind and went back to work.

* * *

" _What are we doing here?" My anxiety was to the max now. Mustang was already out the car, opening the back door to grab my travel bag that had a few articles of my clothes sticking out._

" _Get out." His voice was emotionless._

" _Not until you talk to me."_

" _Damn it Lovington! You get out of the car, or I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you in." He slammed the door shut and quickly made his way to the train station that we were parked in front of. I was reluctant of exiting, but I knew his threat wasn't empty. I got out of the car and slammed the car door shut. When I caught up to Mustang he was already buying a train ticket. Looks like it was just one. We both started walking towards the train that had just finished blowing its whistle. "Wait here." Mustang ordered, looking over his shoulder as she continued walking. He was talking to one of the ticket collectors. I think I even saw him slip some money to him. When he walked back to me, he handed me my bag. I didn't take it from him. His expression remained the same. Never wavering. I wasn't going to ask anymore. I was through with him ignoring my question again and again._

" _I am NOT getting on." He finally lowered my bag and set it on the ground. In one swift move he threw me over his shoulder and started to walk to the train. "Mustang! What the hell are you doing!?" I started to punch his back as hard as I could, hanging upside down. "Put me DOWN!" I started kicking my legs. Everyone around was staring at us as he stepped onto the train. We were in the cart that had several private rooms. Mustang entered one and set me down gently on my feet. As soon as my feet touch the floor I shoved him as hard as I could. He seemed surprised as he stumbled a few feet back. He was standing right outside the sliding door. "Why are you doing this? Why won't you talk to me?" I was shouting. I wasn't able to control my emotions any longer. He remained his stoic self. He could see the panic rise into my eyes. "Whatever it is, I can help you. Don't just send me away. Or…" I stopped before the tremble that went through my body could be heard in my voice. "Or do you think I can't handle myself? Am I not a soldier to you?" He finally showed me something. Pain. I walked up to him, trying to close the distance between us._

" _You'll need to disguise yourself." I looked up at him, more than confused. "You'll also need to think of an alias. Try to blend in wherever it is you choose to settle. Here." He had pulled out his wallet and pulled out all the money he had in it, handing it to me. I cautiously took it. "I hope I pulled enough for you. You won't be able to have any access to your savings. Use it only when you need it." Please stop talking like this. "In about a month, maybe longer, Havoc will be discharged…go to him." Just like that, I knew there was no convincing him._

" _I don't want this." I shoved the money back into his hands. Some of it fell to the floor. Mustang just stared at the paper wad in his hand. "Please, just talk to me. I swear I can handle it. Don't send me away. You're all that I have right now." A small whimper escaped my lips. I quickly looked down, trying to hold back my tears that were filled with fear. Without saying anything, Mustang started to make his way down the narrow hall towards the exit. "Mustang!" I started to follow him. If he thought I was just going to let him leave, he was incredibly wrong. He stopped in his tracks, turning back towards me. I too stopped where I was. He was debating something in his head. He was the one to close the distance between us this time. I was completely taken aback by what he did next. He had taken me in for an embrace. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there as he held me._

" _I hope…you'll forgive me." Before I had a chance to ask, there was a sharp pain on my neck._

" _Mustang…" He had hit the pressure point. Everything had gone blurry, and was starting to go dark…_

* * *

" _Miss…" I could hear someone's voice off in the distance. I was slowly starting to come to my senses. "Miss." I opened my eyes, trying to focus on the person in front of me. "Miss…we've arrived." When my vision finally focused I could see the ticket collector Mustang had slipped money too hovering over me. "I was instructed to make sure you got off here." I looked around at my surroundings. I was laying on the seat in the private room Mustang had dumped me in, but Mustang was nowhere around. He knocked me out. He actually knocked me out to stop me from following him. My lowered lip quivered for a moment before I sat myself up. My neck was pretty sore._

" _Thank you." I mumbled to the ticket collector. He nodded and left the room. My bag was setting on the other seat across form me. I stood up and grabbed the bag, feeling weak. I got off the train and scanned the area, trying to figure out where I was. I found a map on the side of the ticket booth. Apparently I was in the town right between Resembol and Havoc's home town._ "Go to him" _Mustang's words echoed through my mind. Why didn't he just send me right to Havoc's hometown if that's where he wanted me to go? I stared at the map for a few moments before making up my mind. I dug through my pockets, surprised to feel a wad of cash in my back pocket. Mustang must have given it back to me. Normally, I think I'd feel grateful for something like this, but all I feel is hurt. I walked in front of the ticket window with a grumpy middle age man looking over his paper at me from the other side._

" _One ticket to Resembol, please." There was someone I was needing to see before I disappeared._

* * *

It was getting dark outside now, and I was sitting back at the register waiting for the time to go by for me to close out the till. Just then the bell to the front door jingled, and a couple of women walked in with a list in their hands. Of course. I stood up and walked around the corner with a heartfelt smile on my face.

"Welcome to Havoc General Store. How can I help you?" ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 18!**

 **THANKS FOR READING! :D**


	19. Chapter 19:Cold Night

**XIX**

~ I knew as soon as I got home it was going to be a long night…and it was. It was six o'clock in the morning and for the hundredth time I was tossing over begging for my brain to shut up. I think I actually fell asleep sometime after 3:00AM, but after a good two hours of sleep, I was wide awake again. For the past hour I had been trying my best to get my mind off of him before finally admitting defeat. I crawled out of my warm bed, letting the frigid air wake me up even more. It had started raining sometime in the night, making the temperature drop quite a bit. My room was dark since the sun wouldn't rise for another hour, and the clouds seemed a bit thick too. I had to carefully feel my way to my dresser to change into my running clothes. I was hoping that a nice jog would help me clear my mind. My hopes were even with the rain to wash away all my anxiety. I couldn't tell if I was excited or scared for Monday. Can I even be that patient? Maybe I'll take Mrs. Havoc's invite and have dinner with them… I shook my head hard as I continued to try to find a certain jogging pants I wanted to wear. I probably should've flipped on the light. My hand finally found them and I quickly made my way to the bathroom. The sooner I changed the sooner I could warm up.

* * *

It was no surprise that I could barely keep my eyes open for my morning shift at the bar. It was such a slow morning, and the fact that I got little to no sleep last night did not help in my condition. I was almost done with my shift though, and I looked forward to my nap I had planned once I got home. Levy, my co-worker, has been dropping hints that she was wanting me to go out with everyone tonight. She was the first friend I made when I moved here. She was part of the group that I had become comfortable with. Of course, as it happened to be, they were the same group of friends that Havoc had talked about every now and then. Levy was about my height, maybe just an inch shorter. Her light rose blonde hair brought out her golden eyes. She was a spunky character. Always seemed to look at the bright side of the worse situation. She was engaged to Adam, the young tradesman who was in the shop last night. They complimented each other very well. The last member of the group is Vanessa. She worked as the office assistant at the local physician's office. She was more of the serious type, like a strict mother. Her slick dark hair really made her piercing grey eyes stand out. She was the tallest of the three girls, and the most beautiful. It really didn't help my self-esteem when I found out that Havoc and she use to date. According to Vanessa, they broke up a month after Havoc left for the Academy, but it really seemed like she wasn't over him.

"Did you finally have a late night?" Levy sat down by me at the bar. There were a few customers inside the restaurant part of the building today. Other than that, the place was dead. Normally, the customer's love to sit outside on the patio, but with the rain, they were forced to the indoors today.

"I wish that was the case."

"You didn't go with Adam to the train station?" I softly scoffed at her question.

"No, it was pretty late by the time I closed the shop. A few late night shoppers didn't think I needed to go home. Plus, I had a hard time falling asleep last night."

"Aw, that's too bad. What kept you up?" You mean besides the thought of Havoc only being a few blocks away constantly running through my mind?

"Not sure. Just couldn't seem to turn off the switch." I said half way through a yawn. Levy just smiled at me innocently. I straightened up more when I saw the hostess walking over to us.

"Hey Helen, you have some customers and Levy, someone's here to see you." She said in her usual monotone. Levy stood up first, more than curious to see who her visitor was. I on the other hand, was a few good paces behind her. I already knew who was waiting for Levy. Adam would stop by every now and then just to see her face light up.

"Oh my God, Jean!" Levy dashed around the corner the moment she saw everyone in the dining area. I froze a few feet away from the opening. I couldn't even see around the stupid fake bush/tree to see who was all there, but the fact that she said his name had my heart racing so fast that I almost couldn't breathe. I couldn't get my legs to move forward. The sensation to cry was very strong, and yet, not even a mist came to my eyes. I could hear laughter around the corner, and faintly, his voice. "Helen, come out here and meet Jean." Levy had popped her head around real quick to get my legs moving.

"Right." The word came out very breathy. The grip I had loosened slightly as I kept my head down when I walked around the corner with Levy. I used her as a guide to the table, unwilling to look up where I was going. Her strides were filled with excitement. This was it. After what seemed like forever, I was about to be standing in front of him. I was feeling just about every emotion possible, but the sensation to scream was almost unbearable.

"Nice to see you didn't fall asleep on us Helen." Adam jested as Levy and I approached the table. I slightly looked up right at Adam, but my heart skipped when I could see Havoc in my peripheral vision. I was starting to feel very light headed from all the excitment in my chest. "Levy was telling us about your late night."

"It wasn't that late. I just couldn't get my brain to shut up for the life of me." My smile was too big, and my shaking had only gotten worse. I found it hard to believe that the others couldn't tell, but no matter how much I wanted to shift my gaze over, I couldn't stop looking at Adam. "Where are our manners? Helen, this is Jean." This was it. I hesitated longer than what would've been natural, looking down to the ground at first. "Jean, this is Helen." My gaze slowly looked up to find him, sitting in his wheelchair. It took everything in me not to leap across the table and fall into his arms, but as far as I'm concerned he doesn't recognize me. I hardly recognized him with the facial hair he grew. He was staring back at me pretty intensely. So much that I stopped breathing.

"It's…nice to meet you." I said with a more normal smile.

"Yah…" He was defiantly analyzing me. Trying to figure out if he knew me or not.

"Anyway, are we ready to order?" Vanessa asked, who was sitting right next to Havoc, and I mean _right_ next to him. I was a bit surprised that I didn't see her sooner.

"I'm going to have the fruit salad." She said as she handed me the menu.

"Still finicky about your food, huh?" Havoc asked her while he skimmed his menu.

"I can't eat that greasy, meaty stuff you guys love so much. Plus, it helps me keep my figure." I contained an eye roll to her statement. Vanessa was all about health. Granted I could probably run laps around her, but when it came to food she had me beat. "I think you'll like this." She leaned in even closer to Havoc, going over the menu with him placing her perfect manicured hand on his chest to help her prop up. I didn't realize I was glaring a hole into her head until Havoc glanced up at me. Immediate embarrassment washed over my face. As I went to look away, I notice the small smirk, the one that always gets my heart racing, creep on his face before he looked back at his menu.

"I'm gonna have the biscuits and gravey. Two biscuits, with bacon on the side, extra crispy." Adam ordered and handed me his menu.

"Do you want anything to drink with that?"

"Nice big glass of milk, please." I nodded my head, then brought my attention back to Havoc. He was still debating over the menu, with Vanessa practically whispering in his ear. I stood there, becoming more impatient, waiting for his order.

"I guess..." He sighed deeply before continuing. "I'll take the Short Stack, with two sunny-side up eggs and bacon, also extra crispy." He snapped the menu shut and handed it to me.

"And what are you having to drink?"

"Coffee. Black." I nodded my head, and quickly walked back inside to place the orders. My shaking had softened, but it was still there. My legs felt like jell-o. After I placed the orders, I sat back down at the bar, resting my head on my arms. I was trying to slow down my heart rate by breathing in through my nose and out my mouth. A smile slowly spread across my face at the thought of his face coming to my mind.

"Are you okay?" I jumped when Levy placed her hand on my back. She looked worried.

"No, yah. I'm fine." I gave her a weak smile. "I just didn't eat a big breakfast this morning. I'm starting to get pretty hungry."

"Oh jeez." Levy rolled her eyes. "You looked like you were sick. You need to start eating a better breakfast." In some ways, Levy reminded me a bit of Hawkeye. Just more...preppy. "You walked away so fast, Adam didn't get the chance to invite you out tonight." She said as she took her place beside me again. "There's no option out of this either." I wasn't planning on saying no anyways.

"Okay. What time?" Levy seemed surprised by my answer. I do normally make an excuse to not go, but tonight was different.

"I'm not sure. I think Vanessa said she wanted to meet up at 8:00? I'll double check."

"I can ask when I drop off the food." Speaking of which, I needed to get the milk and coffee ready for their order. I smiled as I looked at the clock. It was almost the end of my shift. I should probably go check on the other tables I have before I clock out too. I stood up to go pour the drinks for Adam and Havoc, with my hopes only getting higher for this evening.

* * *

I think I changed my outfit at least ten different times already, and I was running out of time. My hair and make up were all good to go. I just couldn't seem to stick with my choice of clothes. I went from short and desperate, to long and grandma-like. Not only was I running out of time, but also options. Looking outside to the still gloomy weather, I finally grabbed a pair of jeans and a nice low cut, dark purple, long sleeved shirt. The jeans really grabbed me in all the right places, and the shirt certainly made my boobs look good. It wasn't too much, and it wasn't too little. Before I could second guess myself, there was a knock at my door. Before leaving my room I quickly put my new high heeled boots on, slipped on a coat and opened up the door to see Levy outside.

"Look at you!" Levy seemed to approve on my look for the evening. I guess I never really did 'dress up' before.

"Where are the others?"

"They're gonna meet us there." Levy turned around when I met up with her and we made our way down the street. "Do you remember who was working tonight?"

"No, I didn't look at the schedule before I left."

"Hopefully Noah's not working the bar."

"I couldn't agree more." Noah was a bartender that worked at the bar that we also worked at. He's had his eye on Levy for sometime now. He's only gotten worse since she became engaged to Adam. He didn't particularly like me due to that I always, as he says, "cock block" him.

"Since I never had the chance to ask, seeing how you pretty much ran out the bar after work... What do you think of Jean?" Her question made me nervous.

"I don't know..." I did just 'meet' him after all. I chuckled to my silent mockery. "He seems like a good guy."

"Yah, he is. Even though he's changed a bit."

"What do you mean?" I brought my hands to my mouth, blowing warm air onto them. It was a lot colder than I thought it would be. I was starting to think it might snow. This weather needs to go away!

"I don't know...I don't know if it's all the military training that's he's been through, or what, but he's just seems different. A good different. He's more quiet, and serious." It took everything I had not to snort at her comment. Havoc? Quiet and serious? If that's the case, I would hate to have known him before the military. "Adam said he met girl."

"Oh?" My heart did a quick little skip.

"Yah. I guess she was on the same team as him for years in the military. According to Jean, she was a real beauty." It was more than the cold air that was turning my cheecks red now. I couldn't believe he was talking about me in this way. I wanted to jump up and down from happiness.

"Good for him." I was doing a pretty good job at containing my enthusiasm.

"Yah, except I kinda feel sorry for Vanessa." Come again? "She's been looking forward to Jean coming home for so long. When she heard that he's seeing someone, she had a pretty bad break down." Been there, done that. "She told me she plans on winning him back." Levy didn't sound too happy about that. I'll admit my heart sank a bit. Vanessa and I weren't very close. I couldn't even consider her as a friend. Learning that she was after my man did not sit well with me. Especially when I can't really do anything about it. I have to keep my identity on the down low.

"What exactly happened between them?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I know they use to date, but why did they break up?" Levy went quiet. I knew she was trying to decide if she could tell me or not.

"It's not like it's a secret. I guess I could let you know..." She hesitated for another moment before continuing. "When Jean left for the Academy, it was hard on all of us. Especially Vanessa. We all missed him terribly, and we only heard from him every so often. Adam went through a slight depression, but we got use to it, not having Jean around. Vanessa would write him just about everyday. Now, I'm not condoning to what she did but...she was very lonely without him." Levy didn't need to finish the story. I knew how it ended. "It was about six months after Jean had left...when Adam found her with another man." I closed my eyes for a few moments. In the month and a half that I have been here, I haven't really gotten to know her, but...Now I don't want to. "Adam really struggled with deciding to tell Jean or not. I'm glad that he did. Even though Jean was completely torn up from the whole thing, it was the right thing to do."

"Can I ask you something?" I could hear the bitterness in my voice. Levy chuckled softly, though it sounded more amused than gleeful.

"Are you curious to why we are still friends?" I didn't reply. "For a while we did stop being friends. After Jean had found out we really never heard from him again. Both Adam and I were bitter towards Vanessa. It took us some time, but we were finally able to move forward." Still, to do that to someone...and she wants to win him back. My stomach turned with disgust. I guess it did explain a few things about Havoc back in the Academy. The bar was finally in sight, and Adam was standing outside, trying to keep his hands warm. Levy hastened her pace and Adam smiled when he spotted her across the street. "What are you doing out here?" She sounded so disapproving.

"I wanted to make sure you got here safe." Adam opened his arms for her as she made her way into them. I still can't get over how adorable they are together. Always made me fantasize about Havoc and me. "Helen, did you stay warm on the way here?"

"For the most part."

"Goodness Adam! You're freezing." Levy was cupping his hands into hers. She looked like she was almost in tears.

"Well lets get inside and have ourselves a nice warm drink. Vanessa and Jean are inside." The three of us entered the bar and was immideiatly hit with the smell of beer and heat. Tonight the bar was pretty busy. I don't think I've seen it this full before. I followed Adam and Levy to the table Vanessa and Havoc were sitting at, while taking off my coat. As soon as I spotted him my heart fluttered.

"It's about time you got here. I thought poor Adam was gonna freeze to death out there." Havoc gave us a warm smile and it did warm me up. I still can't get over how different he looks with a beard. I don't think I've ever seen him in that black, long sleeve, button up shirt either. Of course I took note with how close Vanessa was sitting next to him...again!

"Why did you let him stand out there for so long?" Levy was ready to attack.

"Have you tried telling this mule what to do? I would've relieved him but with this crowd..." Havoc looked down to his wheelchair. I actually forgot all about it for a moment. Everyone felt awkward now. Adam glanced up at me as he sat down next to Havoc, followed by Levy.

"Well hey there looker!" Adam said a bit too loud. A few people from the tables next to us looked over at me. "Who are you trying to impress tonight?"

"Shut up!" I hissed quietly as I sat down next to Levy. "Can't a girl get dressed up every now and then?"

"Sure, just never seen you look so cute." I could feel my checks get redder and redder with his loud mouth.

"Don't mind him, Helen. He never really knew what to say to a cute girl. He was lucky that Levy even gave him the time of day." Adam looked quite offended.

"I think you're just jealous that I got myself a winner here." Adam wrapped his arm around Levy, making her blush with all the attention.

"Are you guys ready to order yet?" Our waitress was now hovering over us with her notepad. Adam ordered a pitcher of what was on tap, while Levy and Vanessa ordered some kind of sweet and fruity mix. I stole a few glasses from the pitcher as the night went on. We were all having a good time, even when my nerves were twerked every time Vanessa put her hands on Havoc. Every time she would, he would lock eyes with me. It was driving me crazy! Here this other woman was touching my man, and all I could do was watch. He always did get out from her grasp, but it only got her more desperate. Adam and Levy were even starting to feel uncomfortable.

"So Jean, tell us about your girl." Adam was attempting to change the topic to something I was more than eager to talk about. Vanessa finally retracted and sat back in her chair, not pleased with the new topic. Havoc chuckled a bit as he locked eyes with me again. The amusement in his eyes were more than alluring to me. Did he know?

"I don't know..." He's such a tease!

"Come on. You've hardly talked about her even though I can tell you're just dying to tell us."

"Yah." I was surprised by my outburst, and so was everyone else. Havoc was even more amused.

"Alright, what do you want to know?" Adam thought for a moment.

"How about where you first met?" It was Havoc's turn to think. I remember the moment perfectly. It was only my third day at the academy, and I was still trying to memorize my classroom locations. On my search for one of them, Havoc had stepped right in my path, stopping me in my tracks. At first I was glad, thinking that he would help me find my classroom. Instead, he asked me out on a date. He was so persistent! I had never been so annoyed in my life. It was made clear to me that the use of alchemy was prohibited until the final exam on my third year, to see where I would be placed, but my God I never wanted to break a rule so badly in my life.

"It was the first day of the new recruits and we were all in the cafeteria." My heart was quickening, realizing that his story was going to be different from mine. "The new recruits were all filing in, just the same as we all did on the first day, looking all nervous and eager. A few of my buddies and I were watching them all, placing bets on who would last and who would be crying home. That's when _she_ walked in." I remember my first day, entering that cafeteria for the first time. The food was actually quite decent. "As soon as I saw her, it was like I had forgotten how to breath. She moved with such...electricity." I muffled a laugh at his description. Was he trying to be ironic? "She was busy, scanning the whole room with those beautiful blue eyes of hers, and as they found mine, I couldn't bring myself to look away. I swore my heart was going to explode in my chest. I couldn't even hear my buddies still bantering about the bets. It was like, time had stopped for just that moment, before she gave me a quick smirk before going back to talking to her friends. That's all it took for be to get hooked." He paused for a moment, looking at me. I hadn't realized I was smiling like a dork until he looked at me. Adam and Levy had the same smile on their face. Vanessa didn't look very comfortable. "Of course...I was young and stupid. I still flirted with other girls, even took them out on dates."

"What about her?" Levy pried.

"Oh you bet your butt I tried! I tried so hard and for so long, but if there was anyone more persistent than me, it was her. She didn't want to give me the time of day and she made it very clear. I just couldn't stop." Levy just shook her head. "A part of me is glad that she never said yes. I can't help but feel that if she had...Maybe I would've done my typical asshole move, and dumped her after too long."

"So she was two years behind you?" Adam asked, before taking another drink from his mug.

"Yah. After I had graduated, I never thought I'd see her again. I left with a lot of regrets...Never thought she would actually end up on the same team with me." Havoc paused for a moment, as if drifting off to a distant memory. He chuckled to himself after a moment.

"What?" Levy pried even more. Havoc shook his head, as if trying to make light of his thoughts.

"I was just remembering something."

"Come on now! Spill it." The look Havoc gave Levy made me think that he really didn't want to share, but knew she wouldn't let up until he did.

"I was just remembering how long it took me to realize it was her when she joined the team." Everyone, except Vanessa, was once again interested on the topic at hand. Havoc softly scoffed at our interest. "Keep in mind that I hadn't seen her in two years. Her hair grew, a lot, and she lost quite a bit of weight. Not that she was ever overweight to begin with but...she changed enough for me to not recognize her at first. I think it was a good month before I finally realized it was her." Havoc paused again, recollecting his thoughts. "It wasn't until I really ticked her off that I was able to figure it out. She really had this way of yelling at me that sent fear down my spine."

"What did you even do?"

"I can't even remember...I just remember knowing I screwed up majorly, and those angry blue eyes were once again familiar." I didn't know if I should feel flattered or not by this. Of all things to have him remember me...it was yelling at him. I think I even remember that time. I'm pretty sure it was the day I hunted him down in Eastern HQ because he let a few documents slide. He was at the front desk, like he always was, flirting with whoever was there at the time. I really got in his face, and didn't let up until I felt satisfied, but I do recall seeing a spark in his eyes, behind the panic. I always wondered if that was when he recognized me.

"As much 'fun' we are having with all this, do you think we could change the topic for a little while?" Vanessa was getting sick of listening to Havoc gush over this new love of his. I was kinda curious as to what it is she wanted to talk about.

"Yah, I just have one last question and then Jean can be done gushing over his girl." His girl! My heart fluttered at how much I enjoyed the sound of Adam's words.

"Okay, last question for the night." Havoc said before finishing up his drink.

"When did you know?" Adam's question was a bit vague, but Havoc seemed to know what he meant. He was really digging into his thoughts for this one.

"It was during one of our missions. We've been trying to track down this alchemist that's been terrorizing the citizens for sometime back when we were stationed at Eastern HQ. It was reported that this guy was causing earthquakes using alchemy, and he always had this way of disappearing before anyone could catch him. We were assigned the case when he had allegedly killed a young boy. We had staked out for sometime, all of us taking shifts. Now keep in mind that Abby's yearly assessment was coming up and she was using this as her way of proving her worth for the military. Catching this guy was vital. I knew she was an alchemist, but I had never seen her use it before. I had no idea what her special technique was that got her a position as a state alchemist, other than what Colonel Mustang had led on." I was such a mess during this time. I hadn't done anything to prove my worth for the military that year. My licenses was on the line. If I didn't prove myself, it would've been a one way ticket back home. Mustang wasn't very pleased with me either. "While she and I were staked out together, we spotted someone who matched the description perfectly. We pursued him and as planned, he put up a good fight. He even almost got away, but she stopped him using her alchemy. I can't really explain what happened, but..." It actually was a simple formula. It was a lot like how I revived Havoc, only I put a lot more power to it, since it had to travel to reach the target. It always takes a lot out of me.

"What's her special technique?" Levy piped in real quick.

"We call her the Lightening Alchemist. She uses a special glove to ignite the spark, and then she uses alchemy to amplify that spark...To be honest, she explained it to me once, and it didn't really stick. I'm probably not explaining that well." Actually, he is. In simple terms that's what my alchemy is. "She normally just snaps her fingers and a bolt flies right out of her hands, and nails her target!" He was getting pretty excited. "But this time, she snapped her fingers, like she always does, but this time; she quickly clapped her hands like most alchemist do." He was actually going through the motions of my process. He's just too cute! "So instead of a bolt striking, the lightening danced around her hands. It actually looked like it was dancing all around her body, but she clarified it was just her hands. Then, she slammed her hands down onto the ground and it was like a sea of bolts danced their way to him. That imagine of her is burned in my mind. She looked so powerful, but I guess it took a lot out of her. Next thing I knew, after all the sparks went down, she had passed out and hit the ground. At the time, I didn't know what was wrong. I was filled with panic, trying to get her to open her eyes. I thought she might have been injured. After rushing her to the hospital and waiting to hear from the doctor, I realized then...There was no going back. I loved her." We all sat there in silence for a moment, letting Havoc's story play through our minds. "So Helen, tell me about yourself." Havoc directed the attention towards me.

"Oh, umm..." I wasn't expecting this. "What do you want to know?"

"She's kind of a quiet one." Adam said with a smirk. I mocked a smirk back at him.

"Where're you from?"

"North." Keep my answers short and simple. Makes it easier to keep track of the lies that I have to tell.

"Oh really? I have a few buddies up that way!" Of course he does. "Where're you from exactly?" Crap...All the other people who have asked that question never really bothered to asked for more details. Just telling them I was from the Northern region was enough for them since they're not too familiar with the towns up there. Think Abby, think! What was one of those town's names?

"Uhh..." Everyone seemed to be intrigued as I scrambled in the back of my brain from the last time I looked at a map. "Aszamem." I think I pronounced that right...

"Huh, yah my buddies are more towards North City."

"Military right?" I asked to keep the flow going, hoping I was selling it.

"Yah. Does it get cold from where you're from?" Please stop asking me questions!

"Ya-yah. It can get pretty cold..." Jesus. Someone please say something to get us off this!

"Say Jean..." Thank you Vanessa! "I was thinking we could go do some shopping tomorrow. Judging by your small bag you brought with you, looks like you could use some new clothes." Vanessa leaned back into him.

"Sure." It was really starting to get on my nerves that he was letting her get so close. He could at least ask her to back off. "You want to join us?" His eyes found mine again, but they didn't linger. He also looked at Adam and Levy, waiting for their response.

"Yah!" Levy wrapped her arm around my neck and brought me in closer, as if saying I had no choice. "Shopping day!" She was starting to reach her limit. I didn't realize until now, but I was even starting to feel a bit toasty. I couldn't help but laugh as Levy started to sway us both back and forth.

"Alright! Another round!" Adam swung his hand in the air, waving down the waitress before she walked by. The rest of the night went smoothly. Levy and I gossiped with each other for the most part as we all continued to drink. We tried to bring Vanessa in the conversation but she was too preoccupied with getting Havoc's attention. Adam and Havoc were catching up and being nostalgic. When the bar became more empty, making it easier for Havoc to wheel out, we all made our way back outside to the cold air. We all agreed that we would travel home together. I would be the first to be dropped off, Vanessa would be next, then Havoc, and Levy and Adam would walk home together. Best way to make sure everyone made it home safe, since we all couldn't seem to walk that straight. Levy and I practically hung onto each other the whole way to my place, leading the way. Adam had to redirect us every once in awhile as we tried to make our way down a wrong street. I would glance behind me every now and then to see Vanessa and Havoc getting all cozy with each other in conversation. She was just happily pushing him along in his chair with a great big grin on her face. I don't think I've seen her smile so much before. It pissed me off. When we reached my place, I stood in my door way, waving them all goodbye.

"We'll come pick you up tomorrow! Don't forget!" Adam shouted over his shoulder as they all made their way down the sidewalk. Levy was now clinging onto Adam and he was trying his best to hold onto her. Havoc was still looking over his shoulder at me. We kept eye contact until they were so far down that Havoc couldn't turn his head anymore. With his head turning back forward, I slowly shut my front door and let the warmth of my rental home soak in as I slumped to my knees. I was glowing with happiness. Not only did I get to see him, but I was even able to hear all those stories. I turned around so my back was now leaning against my front door. Even though I was overjoyed from tonight, a strong sense loneliness swept over me as I listened to the silence of my house. I miss Breda...Fuery...and even Falman. The image of Mustang sitting at his desk, with that stupid cocky smirk on his face came to my mind, and Hawkeye right next to him.

"I miss you..." I whispered as I shuttered out a sigh. I was really looking forward to tomorrow. ~

 **End OF CHAPTER 19**

 **THANKS FOR READING! :D**


	20. Chapter 20:Doctor's Visit

**XX**

~ It was early Monday morning, with frost on the ground and a nip in the air as I walked down the sidewalk. I guess sweater weather was right around the corner. Of course, by the afternoon it will be too warm to wear anything more than a t-shirt. Which is just what I had on, with a good coat and jeans. If I just keep my pace where it is, it'll keep my blood flowing enough to keep myself warm. I was making my way to the Havoc's residence. It was a few good blocks from my rental home. When we all went shopping on Sunday, we ended up eating dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Havoc. That was when I had volunteered to escort Havoc-I mean, Jean, to his first doctor's appointment today. Everyone else was busy, and I guess no one felt comfortable with him going by himself. I had nothing better to do other than sleep in today, plus it would give us some time alone, since Vanessa had more than her share with him yesterday. The woman wouldn't leave his side for one moment, practically doing everything for him. It was annoying. Just because he was in a wheelchair, didn't mean he couldn't take care of himself. At least that's how I see it. He's still Havoc-I mean Jean! Damn it, Abby! Get it together. Everyone thought it was weird that I kept calling him Havoc yesterday. It's too weird! He's always been Havoc. It'd be like calling Breda, Heymans. I couldn't help but cringe. Then again…we are "dating" now. I probably should get use to calling him by his first name. I would want him to do the same. My cheeks were feeling warm with the idea. Granted he's called me by my first name before…but maybe it would be different this time. I shook my head, freeing myself from the butterflies. Look at what this man is turning me into! A pathetic romantic. I use to make fun of women, specifically his ex-girlfriends, for things like this. I had finally reached Mr. and Mrs. Havoc's house, and knocked on the door a few times. I could faintly hear someone yell for me to come in. I did so and closed the door behind me, feeling the warmth of the house.

"Good morning." I called out, making sure they knew it was me who was here. I could hear someone in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes was in the air. Mrs. Havoc must be making breakfast. I'm sure she'll offer some for me.

"Good morning, Helen." Mr. Havoc came from the living room with a newspaper in his hand. His reading glasses were lowered on his nose.

"Good morning." I greeted him with a warm smile.

"Alan? Could you come here please?" Mrs. Havoc called from the kitchen. He slightly shook his head, with a loving smile.

"She's always trying to do more than what she needs. Jean's in his room, second door down, if you want to let him know you're here." He instructed as he walked past me and into the kitchen.

"Okay." My heart started to pound as I walked down the short distance to the room Mr. Havoc had directed me to. Remember, it's Jean! I reminded myself before I lightly knocked a couple times before opening the door.

"Jean," I had to stop myself from grinning like an idiot, "It's Helen…" When I peered in the room, any structured thought that I had was gone. There he was…on his bed…shirtless…and doing sit-ups! A pair of dumbbells were lying next to him on the bed. He had a good sweat going on. He had stopped in mid-crunch, with his hands still behind his head, when I had walked in. We were just starring at each other, with my cheeks getting warmer and warmer. I think I need to take this coat off. An amused, but rather sexy smile crept on his face.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes." There was a playfulness to his voice.

"Right." The word just barely made a sound coming out of my mouth. I closed the door, and stood in front of it, processing the sight that was before me. I can't believe he's still in such good shape. He's not what he used to be, of course, but damn!

"Is he still going at it?" Mrs. Havoc just about gave me a heart attack. I didn't even hear her coming up behind me. Jean must have gotten the quiet, ninja skills from her. She looked a bit frazzled, with what I assumed, pancake batter on her nose.

"Um…well, yes he's still sweating, I mean, he's just on the bed and…" Why am I rambling like I just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar?

"That boy, I swear." She walked past, without knocking, and entered the room, closing it behind her. I could hear her lecturing him about not wanting him to be late for his appointment. With a small smile, I walked back to the front door to wait for him.

"Helen, come join me for some breakfast. He's going to be a while." Mr. Havoc was calling me from the kitchen. I meekly entered, taking off my coat. There was already a plate set up for me. I happily cringed at the thought of eating all the food that was there. Eating so early in the morning never really settled on my stomach. I had grabbed a few granola bars for when I get hungry later, but I didn't want to let this food go to waste. "Help yourself to more. There's plenty." He offered as he set a cup of coffee in front of me. This man was trying to kill me.

"Oh, sorry Mr. Havoc, but I don't drink coffee." I politely declined the steaming mug of bathroom problems.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Alan?" He mumbled as he retreated the cup and took a sip from it.

"Sorry, I guess it's out of habit." I respected the man. Plus, he's father of the man I'm dating. Got to get the brownie points when I can!

"Sorry Helen, he's almost ready." Mrs. Havoc came back into the kitchen, even more distraught than before.

"Marie, sit down before you have a heart attack." Mr. Havoc strictly ordered. She did so as she took a good, long breath.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I felt sorry for just sitting here, eating the overly delicious food.

"No, no. Thank you, Helen, but you're doing more than enough by taking Jean to his appointment." She said as she sat more straight in her chair, slowly dishing herself a plate.

"It's really no problem. I would be sleeping the morning away anyways." It was my first real day off in a while from both the bar and the shop. It would've been nice to sleep in a bit, but I think it'll be worth it in the end. "Are you sure you don't need any help today?"

"No, we'll be just fine today. Jean will slack off if you're there doing everything." I couldn't help but feel a bit of relief as Mr. Havoc declined my offer.

"I resent that." Jean rolled in, seeming offended, but still had playfulness to him. "You ready, Helen?" He was all dressed and even had his coat on.

"Yes." I quickly stood up before Mrs. Havoc could lecture him about how I was the one waiting for him. "Thank you for the food. It was delicious." I complimented her as I put my coat back on, following Jean out the door. After shutting it, I buttoned the last three buttons on my coat and glanced where I thought Jean was going to be. Surprised took over when I saw that he was already making his way down the sidewalk, in the direction of the physician's office. "Hey, wait up!" I started to chase after him. He must be trying to catch up from the time that was lost, because man was he cruising. I slowed my pace down, to match his. As I matched it, I noticed that he had disappeared from my peripheral vision. I stopped and looked back to see that he was mumbling to himself while he fumbled in his pocket for something.

"Everything okay?" He looked up at me, still digging in his pocket.

"No…I might need to go back and-AHA!" A joyful grin spread over his face as he pulled out a lighter from his pocket. I just noticed the cigarette that was loosely in his other hand. "Never mind, we are good to go." His tone was rather playful. He sure seemed to be in a good mood. "Could you give me a push?" He asked as he brought the cigarette to his lips, lighting it. A spark of irritation jolted through me.

"Why should I do that?"

"It's okay. I don't mind being late." A smug smile lay on his face as he exhaled his first puff. Between Mustang and the Academy, I am now conditioned to cringe at the very thought of being late. With a small sigh and an unpleasant look, I walked behind his chair and started pushing. He took another puff and exhaled it, making me walk right into the already dissipating cloud. What I wouldn't give to whack him on the head right now. "Thanks, my mom won't let me have one of these in front of her. This is really the only chance I get." He said through another puff. If he knew it was me, I could tell him how it's good for him to cut back, but I'm only Helen right now. Then again, I don't see any reason why I couldn't tell him now. No one was around…My heart started to accelerate with the words hanging from my mouth. Mustang technically didn't give me permission to tell him. I guess the thought of going against his order has me more nervous than I care to give for. Maybe a part of it was also finally admitting to him that I've been me this whole time. God! This is such a weird predicament. "So how do you like it here?"

"Huh?" His voice snapped me out of my own thoughts.

"I was just thinking, we haven't really had a chance to talk."

"Oh…yah." Maybe it's because you won't tell a certain clingy ex-girlfriend to lay off! Hostility was running through my veins remembering yesterday's shopping trip.

"You seem pretty close to Adam and Lev?"

"Yah? Well, they did a pretty good job with making feel at home." When I first got here, I had a rough first week. It was my first time in a long time to truly be on my own. I was able get hired at the bar right away, and used what money Mustang had given me to pay my first month's rent. I had never worked a waitressing job before, and it showed. I guess the manager who had hired me was desperate enough to accept my lack of experience. She was even patient with me and all the mistakes I had made. I was about ready to quit when Levy jumped in and started to show me the ropes and hacks on how to make thing easier. Before long I got the job at the general store, and that's where I met Adam. The gem of Vanessa fell into my life when they invited me out one night.

"My mother adores you." This sudden information had my face warm in seconds. I could hear the smile on his face.

"Oh? What makes you say that?" There was a quiver in my voice from my heart quicken so sudden.

"She keeps telling me how wonderful you are. Oh!" He exclaimed like he remembered something. "She also says we would make a cute couple." I swear my heart was about to burst in my chest. Mrs. Havoc has great taste. I just laughed nervously, not knowing what to say to this. "I had to keep reminding her that I'm a taken man now." Now's the perfect time!

"Speaking of which…I've been wanting to ask you something, Havoc." He glanced over his shoulder, looking up at me with a small smirk. God, damn it! "I mean Jean! Sorry."

"What's your question?" I was amusing him.

"What's going on between you and Vanessa?" I might have sounded a bit curt there. Is it me or did his smirk get bigger? He looked ahead and took a long drag.

"Why do you ask?" He was really going to make me explain it?

"It's just…she seems to still have feelings for you, and you don't seem to want to tell her differently." I could see his shoulders slightly rise and fall. Was he laughing at me?

"I have told her."

"You have?" I doubt my excitement went unnoticed.

"I don't really like rejecting someone in public. Doing otherwise would be shameful on my part." He put the last bit of his cigarette out and dropped it in an empty water bottle, that was between his legs, with a few more butts in them. He's not wrong. A small knot formed in my throat. A part of me wanted to see him deny her. "Thanks for the push." He said as we both came to a halt. We had arrived at the office. I walked around him to hold the door open. He wheeled himself in with ease and greeted Jessica who was sitting behind her desk.

"Good morning Jean…and Helen." There was a slight aggression with her eyes when I walked in.

"Good morning." I said quietly. Jean just smiled at her politely. I was doing my best to ignore the tension in the room. What was her problem?

"I'll let the doctor know you're here." Her sweet smile was plastered back on her face as she talked to him. He just nodded as she walked to the back. I sat down in a chair that was by the window. The sun beaming in already felt good. Plus, it was good reading light. I pulled my book that I had just recently bought out of my purse.

"How long do you think you'll be?"

"Hmm…not sure? I would hope no longer than 20 minutes. I'm just getting established and a quick check up." I nodded and flipped my book open to start reading. I had found it under a pile of dust at the book store in this town. It was on healing alchemy, and ever since bringing Jean back to life the subject fascinated me. This book in general had a few interesting concepts. "Looks like a serious read." I brought my eyes up to him. He was motioning for me to show him my book. I gave him a small smile and lift the title of the book for him to read.

"This stuff has always fascinated me."

"Are you an alchemist?"

"I've experimented a few circles, but nothing serious." There was a hidden admiration in his eyes.

"Jean…" A nurse had stepped out with Vanessa, breaking the moment we were sharing. I watched him wheel back behind the door. He gave me a quick smile before disappearing with the nurse. I smiled back, but he didn't see. Vanessa walked back to her desk and sat down. She continued what she was typing on her typewriter, and I went back to my book. Several minutes went by and it was getting harder and harder to concentrate on my book. I swear I could start to feel the hole Vanessa was trying to burn into my head. She was just sitting there, maliciously typing, and glaring at me. I only looked up once, and now I refuse to give her a second glance. I noted that the typing had stopped and I could hear her walk around her desk. She was standing in front of me now, waiting for me to look up. With a soft sigh, I put my bookmark back in my book, closing it and looked up at her with just my eyes.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but it's not going to work." Right to it then. Fine by me, saves time.

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't play stupid! I know you have your eyes on him." She's observant, I'll give her that. I guess this is a good sign telling me to play it down more with him. "I just wanted to tell you that you're wasting your time." I know she doesn't know who I really am, but what she was saying was really hitting a nerve.

"Vanessa, I honestly don't know what you're talking about?"

"I see the way you look at him. Trust me when I say that I know what desperation looks like. I've seen it plenty on other girl's faces." Desperation? I know she thinks I'm just sad, desperate Helen, but what she was saying was really starting to piss off Abby! "Consider this a friendly warning to back off."

"Have you forgotten that he has a girlfriend?" Oh…that felt weird saying. I was indirectly talking about myself.

"Please." She rolled her long-lashed eyes. "He won't even remember her name by the time I'm through with him."

"You're disgusting."

"Excuse me?" Well this wasn't going to be good, but with my blood boiling the way it was, rationality was tossed out the window. I stood up to get closer to her face.

"You want to talk about desperation? Look at you. You're clinging onto a man who's made it clear that he doesn't want you." I could tell each word I said was getting to her. "What does he have to do to get it through your head that _you're_ the one with no chance? Stop embarrassing yourself and move on with your pathetic life-" She cut me off by briskly slapping me on the cheek. I was shocked that she did it. I think I might have stepped a bit out of line with that last part. It still felt good to finally get it off my chest. We both stood there now. Me with my hand on my cheek, determined to not back down, and her…she defiantly wanted me dead right now. That look was very clear. The front door bell jingled and in walked in a mother and her child. Vanessa immediately turned on her secretary smile and welcomed the newcomers, leaving me to myself once again. I sat back down on my chair and rubbed my cheek a few times. She got me good. Not wanting her to see that I was in pain, I opened my book back up and continued where I left off. A few more minutes went by before Jean came wheeling back out with the nurse.

"We'll see you next month, Jean."

"Sounds good, thanks again." I closed my book and put it back into my purse. I stood up and gave him a heartfelt smile. Subconsciously I looked over to Vanessa, who was giving me one nasty look. The sensation to stick my tongue out was tempting.

"How'd it go?" I held it in and kept my attention to Jean.

"I'm good to go. Just have to come in once a month to make sure things stay good."

"Alright. Ready to go then?"

"What happened to your face?" His question surprised me. Was I still red where Vanessa slapped me? I could easily tell him that she did it, but then I would have to explain why she did it.

"What do you mean?"

"Your cheek…it's red." He reached up and gently touched it. The touch of his fingers just barely grazing my cheek was heavenly. I closed my eyes and took in the sensation of it all. Vanessa could slap me a hundred times if it meant he would touch it. I slowly opened my eyes, still in bliss. There was something endearing to his expression. Vanessa couldn't seem to process what was going on between us. Her bewilderment snapped me out of it and I took a step back from him.

"I must have had it resting on my hand on it for too long." I demonstrated by placing my cheek on top of my closed hand, indicating the resting position. He didn't seem to believe me, but didn't press any further. We both headed towards the door, and I once again opened it for him.

"I'll see you Saturday, Vanessa." He confirmed before wheeling outside.

"Can't wait to-" I slammed the door shut, cutting her off in mid-sentence. Jean seemed concerned.

"What was that about?" Clearly irritated, I started walking back towards his house. "What's going on Saturday?" I really didn't want to bring up what happened in the office.

"Oh yah, sorry. I was supposed to invite you to Adam and Lev's. They're putting a small dinner together and we're all just going to hang out."

"I'll be there." A gentle smile grew on my face, but deep down I was lit. It was now war between Vanessa and I, and no way in hell was I going to give her any more alone time with him.

"Hey…" He came to a stop again and I looked back behind me to see what he wanted. He held another cigarette up with an innocent smile. "Please?" He really had some nerve. I rolled my eyes and walked behind him again as he lit the cigarette.

"You know sooner or later I'm going to have to put my foot down?"

"Guess I'll just enjoy it while I can." He said as he exhaled through a smile. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 20**

Thanks for reading!


	21. Chapter 21:Don't Touch What's Not Yours

**XXI**

~ "She did what?" Levy and I were walking back from our tables that we just took orders from. Right before we separated to the tables, I had informed her what had happened the other day at the doctor's office.

"Yah, just full blown slapped me. My cheek was red for a good while." We both put our order slips on the order spindle.

"I can't believe it…" Levy was still processing it all.

"I can." I walked and sat down at our usual spot on the empty bar. "I kinda went at her, and said somethings that weren't that pleasant."

"Still! I don't think she should have slapped you."

"Maybe…but there was a lot of tension, and we both got swept up in the emotion of it all. I don't blame her for slapping me."

"You're a bigger person than me, Helen."

"No, I'm sure after you settle down you'd think the same as me. I mean, I was pretty pissed at the time, but after I thought about, it makes sense."

"You didn't tell Jean?"

"I didn't see any reason to. What happened between Vanessa and I, needs to stay between us. Bringing in Jean, who was technically the reason for the whole blow up, would only make things messy."

"Hey Helen." A waiter got our attention. "Someone's here to see you." He disappeared back into the restaurant part of the building. Me? Normally Levy is the one with the "visitor". We both looked at each other before getting up to go see. As we rounded the corner, we spotted Jean and Adam at a table. My cheeks instantly getting warm and I could feel myself perk up. As always Levy practically skipped her way to the table. I tried my best to keep a good pace and not join her in the skipping. From Adam and Jean's expression, it looked like Adam was teasing Jean about something.

"What are you two doing here?" She always lights up when Adam's around.

"Well we decided to go out for lunch, and figured we could surprise some pretty ladies." Adam flirted as he gave his fiancé a big hug. "Isn't that right Jean?"

"Would you knock it off." Jean whispered harshly. I couldn't help but note the slight blush on his cheeks when he looked up at me.

"So, which one of you wanted to see me?"

"It's me." Jean said as he picked up his menu. "Pops wanted me to ask you if you would be able to come to the shop early today?" He said as he looked up over his menu at me. "We've been busier than usual, but we can still manage if you're not able." Really? Was sending me on a guilt trip necessary?

"I should be able to. I can talk to my manager and ask. Things have been pretty slow here today, so she might let me go early."

"Thanks, I know pops will really appreciate it. Mom came down with a cold so it's been a little rough this morning."

"Oh no, is she alright?"

"She'll be fine. She's tough. Pops thinks she over did it, so with some good rest she should be back on her feet."

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" His smile was gentle but there was a bit of mockery to it.

"You already are."

"I don't consider coming earlier for my job is helping. I mean…I could bring you guys dinner?" His eyes lit up instantly.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Well…yah? Is your dad not that good at cooking?" His reaction was making me giggle.

"No and unfortunately he passed his cooking genes to me. We were both dreading dinner tonight."

"Well then it's settled! I'll bring something."

"Why don't you just come over and cook it at my folks?"

"Oh. Umm…" Cause it would be weird! "Sure. Do you or your dad want anything specific?"

"As long as it's not made by either of us, we'll eat it." I couldn't help but scoff out a laugh. I highly doubt he's that bad. I mean, he lived by himself for the longest time.

"Has anyone ever told you guys that you two would make a great couple?" Adam interrupted us with a sly smile. I actually forgot that Levy and he were still there.

"Excuse me?" I was a bit thrown off. I could tell by the warmness of my cheeks I was blushing. Jean gave a look of warning to Adam. "Don't be silly Adam. Jean has a girlfriend." I don't think it would never not feel weird to stand up for myself…

"Is that the only thing keeping you two apart?" The nerve! "I mean, you two have some pretty good chemistry going on here. I can totally see it."

"She doesn't do it for me." Jean said bluntly. Okay…new weird feeling. I'm both hurt and happy by his statement. "Don't get me wrong!" He panicked seeing my hurt expression. "You're very beautiful, but… compared to Abby…sorry I'll just shut up now." What do you mean compared to Abby!? I AM ABBY GOD DAMN IT! Without taking their order, I curtly turned around and practically stomped my way out of there.

"Helen?" I could hear Levy chase after me. I've had it! I'm going to tell him tonight!

* * *

The week seemed to have gone by both slow and fast. I never went over to cook dinner for Mr. Havoc and Jean. Mrs. Havoc had turned for the worst and they had to get her to the hospital. She had a real nasty stomach bug, but after getting her on a drip she started making a fast recovery. She just has to take it easy from now on, doctor's orders! I'm just glad she's doing better. The shop has been hectic without Mr. Havoc. It's just been Jean and I, with me doing all the running around. Of course, I took it with a grain of salt. It's not like he could help it. He would even apologize every once and a while. I had to finally yell at him to stop apologizing. I had to take the week off from the bar. My manager wasn't too happy about it, but she understood for the most part. She even wished for Mrs. Havoc to have a fast recovery. I couldn't tell if it was because she was concerned for Mrs. Havoc, or so that I could come back sooner. With everything that's been going on, I've barely had the time or energy to even think straight. Next thing I knew, I was standing in front of my full body mirror, getting ready for Adam and Levy's dinner.

"I should have asked what kind of dinner it was…" I mumbled to myself. I've gone through most of my wardrobe by now. I didn't know if it was more of a hangout type dinner, or dress a little fancy. Knowing them, it was probably just a hangout. Pulling the dress I had on over my head, I went back to my dresser to fish out a pair of jeans. The real question is, what was Vanessa going to wear? I opened my top drawer to go through my shirts. If she still knew Jean the way I do, she'll probably go for something low cut. Next question…do I stoop to her level? Do I even have the assets to compete? Screw this! I just grabbed whatever t-shirt that was on top and put it on. Slipping on my shoes and my coat, I made sure to lock my door behind me. I headed in the direction of Mr. and Mrs. Havoc's house. I wanted to see how Mrs. Havoc was doing and I told Jean that I would walk with him to Adam and Levy's. He's been by himself this whole time while his parents were away. I had offered to come over and make him the dinner I promised, but for whatever reason he didn't want me over. He seemed perfectly fine with the idea when his parents were around. Maybe that's what it was? Maybe he didn't feel comfortable being alone with me. Or Helen? Without thinking about it too much I knocked on the front door and walked right in. "Hello?" The quietness of the house made it seem like no one was home, but the stove that had a boiling pot of what looked like soup, said otherwise. Jean wheeled in from the living room, with Mr. and Mrs. Havoc following slowly behind him. Mr. Havoc was helping her walk. She still looked weak.

"Helen, it's good to see you." She said with a rough voice.

"It's good to see you too. How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Gave Alan a good scare, but I'm starting to feel like my old, healthy self." She gave me a proud smile. I returned the smile.

"If there's anything I could do-"

"You do too much already." She cut me off with a playful laugh. "I just want you and Jean to have a nice time together."

"There's going to be others there to, ma." Jean exasperated. It seemed they've had this discussion before. "Let's go."

"And let's get you to bed." Mr. Havoc started to guide Mrs. Havoc down the hall.

"Don't forget the soup-"

"I'll get it Marie." They were too cute. I continued to watch them banter back and forth.

"Ready?" Jean brought be from my thoughts. I smiled and nodded my head.

"Ready."

* * *

The evening ended up being rather lovely. The food was great and the company was even better. I was right about Vanessa. She was making a good attempt at showing off her amazing boobage to him throughout the night. It did me proud to see him ignore all her attempts. I was in the kitchen, helping Levy clean up dinner. Everyone else was in the living room, chatting away. Adam even started the fireplace, giving the room a nice glow. They have a nice together.

"Thanks so much for helping, Helen." Levy gave her gratitude as she handed me another plate to dry.

"I wasn't going to have you clean all that up by yourself."

"Levy! Get in here already. The dishes can wait for tomorrow." Adam yelled from the other room. Someone must have been telling a good story, because Adam was roaring with laughter.

"OR you could come in here while Helen and I finish up." Levy yelled back with a bit of annoyance in her tone. The room became quiet, and a moment later they were all sitting at the counter. A small, satisfied smile crept of Levy's face.

"Ok, so continue the story Jean."

"Wait! What's the story?" Levy asked looking over shoulder. Adam started to chuckle, trying to hold back his laughter.

"I don't see anything funny about this story, Adam." Vanessa didn't seem very pleased. Jean on the other hand, was very proud of this story.

"Should I just start over?" His cocky gaze went to Adam.

"Please." Adam said through a chuckle.

"Okay, this was back when I was still stationed at the Eastern Headquarters. A lot had happened, things I can't really talk about with you normal citizens." Levy was amused by his words. Must be an ongoing joke between them. "Actually, let me start with what happened previously than what I already told you." Jean was referring to Adam and Vanessa. "I was given orders to be Abby's bodyguard for specific reasons and after a few days, she was given a double bodyguard who was my good buddy Breda. I slept on the couch downstairs, while Breda slept on this cot that she bought that was in her bedroom." This asshole would have rather sleep on that horrible, back crippling couch than on that stupid cot I bought for him?! My drying motion became very fast, and hard. I realized Levy was giving me a look of concern. I gave a nervous smile and continued to dry more gently. Where was he even going with this story? "It was about the time we were needing to be rolling out to get to work on time, and I didn't see life coming from the bedroom. So, I knock on the door and peek inside. I see-" Jean stopped a moment to let out a brief chuckle. I'm trying to picture when this was all happening. "I see Breda, standing at the foot of her bed and his expression is priceless. I get his attention, 'Breda? What's going on? We need to get moving.', and all he does is point to her. I walk towards the bed, and she's just…" He paused and when I look over my shoulder to see what was happening, I could see the blush on his face. "Oh boy, she was thrashing around like she was having a nightmare, but…" He had us on every word.

"But?" Adam wanted more.

"Let's just say she was having a very good dream, and moaning my name in her sleep." The cup that I was drying slipped from my grip and fell very loudly in the sink. Everyone had jumped from the sound but I was still in a daze. I could vaguely see myself in the window, but I could tell my whole face has turned red. I'm going to kill him!

"Helen? Are you okay?" I snapped out of it and looked at Levy.

"Wha-Oh, yes. I'm fine. Everything's fine! I'm so sorry." My voice was cracking. I picked the cup back up and examined it. It didn't seem to be broken or cracked anywhere. I guess it was a heavy-duty cup. I continued to dry the cup.

"Are you sure? Your face is pretty red…"

"No everything's fine! Please continue." Do not continue!

"Anyways…" Adam pressed.

"So, we let this go gone on for a while, I ended up sitting next to her on the bed, but Breda had had enough and woke her up. She shot right up and was completely dazed. She practically fell out of her bed when she realized I was sitting right next to her." Adam started to chuckle again. Everyone was back into the story. God…if you're listening? Please kill me now. "So fast forward to the end of the day. Whenever Abby would get pent up about something, she would go to the gym and let her anger, or whatever her issue was at the time, out. Apparently, Breda and she had this bet to see who could win in a one-on-one combat fight. We all make our way to the gym to watch Breda get the crap beaten out of him. She knocks him out in one punch." Adam looked impressed by that.

"How much of a sissy was this guy?" My eye twitched when Adam said that. So the only way I could beat up a guy is if he was a sissy?

"Hey now, that's my buddy you're talking about, and he was a tough guy. Not as tough as me, but what can you do." Someone needs to take this boy off his high horse. "So a few guys who had watched the match scoop Breda up and take him to the infirmary. Abby mentions that she wanted another fight. She was just itching to punch something else."

"I gotta meet this girl." Adam let out an amused laugh. Is Jean even going to mention how awful I felt? Of course I felt awful because I had wanted Breda to last longer than he did, but I still felt awful!

"I volunteer to give her a match." I could hear that cocky smirk that I hate so much on his face.

"She beat your ass too?" Adam asked mockingly.

"Well first, I pissed her off. I told her that I wasn't going to lay one blow on her, but I was still going to take her down." Adam was getting more and more excited with each detail Jean brings out. "She's was a good challenge, but I ended up bring her down and pinned her so she couldn't escape. Now, this pissed her off even more." Maybe because you were mocking me with that stupid Uncle bullshit! "She screamed at me and when I let her up she walked out, in tears…You can imagine I felt like a piece of shit after that." I'm female! I get emotional even when I don't want to. I'm sorry! "So I sulk my way back to the shower room, trying to figure out what I did wrong exactly. I storm in and I hear someone's already in one of the shower. Low and behold, it's her."

"What?" Levy was surprised by this turn of events. The embarrassment from that day came rushing back. I can't believe he's actually telling them this story.

"Yah! I'm facing this wall that has all the sinks and mirrors, normally used to shave one's facial hair if they haven't gone home in a few days. I see her, in the mirror, peeking her head out of the shower door and she starts yelling at me!"

"Did you go into the wrong shower room?" Levy was trying to piece the puzzle together. No Levy. I wish that was the case. I was just a jumpy, dumbass who thought something was following her.

"Nope. She was in the men's shower room. So she's yelling at me to get out, and I'm trying to inform her that _she's_ in the wrong shower room. Of course she says, 'I wouldn't make the mistake and come into the men's shower room, Havoc.'" Him trying to impersonate my voice was a bit comical. I can gladly say he could never pass as a female. "Before I can argue with her, the door opens and she hides back behind the door. Luckily, when you stand up against the shower head wall, you can't really see anyone's feet in the shower because General Larson was the one who walked in. Of course he's the most strict superior in HQ and he's already not happy seeing me outside of _my_ already hot shower."

"Oh no!" Levy saw where this was going.

"Oh yes! General Larson asks me, 'What are you doing in here?' and 'What's with the extra set of clothes?', because her clothes were already neatly folded in a dirty basket. Basically I ended up getting ordered to take my shower. I get undressed and opened the door…" Adam is once again roaring, while Levy has stopped washing the dishes, covering her mouth in astonishment. Vanessa wasn't amused in the slightest. "I'll tell you what, the sight that was before me, almost killed me. There she was. Completely vulnerable, and naked. She was facing the wall, so all I had was her back side, but it was perfect. It was better than I had ever imagined." My heart was beating so fast in my chest that I was starting to feel dizzy.

"Jean Havoc, I'm disappointed in you." Levy was starting a lecture for him.

"Now hold on. I closed my eyes when I started to walk in. It took everything in me to do it, but I did. I had to feel my way to the damn wall. I ended up accidently trapping her between my arms. I was concentrating real hard on behaving. I felt her turn around and face me and I had to confirm. I took another peek and when I saw that she was reaching to touch my face, I couldn't help but open my eyes again. She was startled and turned around right away, so I didn't really get a good look, but I'll never forget that day. I do appreciate it more now than I did back then. I'll admit I wasn't too happy about it at the time."

"Why's that?" Adam didn't seem to see a reason to not be happy with such an occasion.

"I was dating Emily at the time. I felt like I had just cheated, even though nothing really happened, but…the feelings I have for Abby, defiantly grew in that shower." The room went quiet. No one knew what to say after that. I always wondered if that was the reason he was so angry at me. I guess he was more angry at himself.

"Can we please talk about something else now?"

"What's wrong, Nessa? You don't like Jean talking about his girl?" Adam seemed to be getting tired of her attitude. Levy handed me the last dish to dry with a tired smile.

"No, I just want to do something and not just sit and talk." Vanessa was very defensive.

"We have a few board games if you want to bring one out?" Levy suggested as she wiped her hands dry on a new towel.

"No." Vanessa scowled. "Let's go the bar."

"I'm down!" Adam stood up, as if everyone else was okay with the idea. I wasn't sure about Jean and Levy, but I really didn't want to drink tonight.

"I suppose…" Levy didn't seem okay with the plan. Adam was already putting out the fire.

"I think I'll skip the bar tonight. I'm not really up for making my way through a crowd." Jean said as he looked down to his chair.

"I'm not really in the mood for a crowd either." I threw in my two cents.

"Oh come on you guys! How about we just go and get the beer and then we come back and chill?" Adam made a hard bargain. Jean and I ended up agreeing. We all made our way to the entrance to put our coats on.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." I mentioned as I made my way into the restroom.

"Hurry up, we'll be outside." Adam hollered. Before I shut the door, I heard Jean ask Vanessa to help him with his coat. I'm sure she was more than happy to oblige. After doing my business, I did a quick check on my make-up. I still look good. I gave my reflection a quick wink and opened the bathroom door. What I saw by the entrance door almost had me to my knees. Vanessa was leaning down to Jean, trying to kiss him. Adam and Levy were nowhere to be seen. Her lips just barely touched his when he brought his hand up, blocking any further advancement. When Vanessa opened her eyes, you could see the hurt in them.

"Vanessa…" Jean sounded disappointed.

"Why?" Vanessa straightened up, almost in tears.

"You know why." He was saying it gently, as if to not hurt her anymore. I know I should be happy that he stopped her when he did, but my body was hot with anger. She just doesn't get it! Well…maybe she'll get it now. My feet started to move forward with determination. Nothing in me was telling me to re-evaluate my decision. Both Vanessa and Jean looked disturbed when the realized that I was approaching. Jean looked more troubled than anything. I gently pushed Vanessa out the way, a sound of protest escaped her mouth, but it didn't stop me. I planted both my hands on Jean's arm rest, lowering my head to the same level as his. He was taken aback by my actions. Before anyone could say anything, I aggressively brought my lips to his. I was a bit surprised when I felt him kiss me back. I almost forgot how good his lips felt on mine. I was desperate for his touch. I had to hold in a moan that wanted to escape with the pleasure. I didn't want to let up, but anymore and I'd be in his lap. I pushed away to see his face red and angry. I stood up and with a blank expression, looked at Vanessa. She was in shock.

"Don't touch what's not yours." Is all I said and then I swung the front door open. Levy and Adam were waiting outside. They were confused when the saw me power walking toward them. They knew something was up.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked as I stormed pass them.

"Nothing. I'm going home." I said curtly.

"Helen!" Jean called after me. I took a sharp turn when I hit the sidewalk and continued my fast pace back to my rental home. "Helen!" He must be following me. "Helen!" His voice was getting louder each time he called out to me. No one else seemed to be following us. I'm not 100% sure since I refuse to turn around to see. "Abby!" I stopped in my tracks. What did he just say? I slowly turned back towards him. He was a bit farther away than I thought. He was trying his best to catch his breath. "You know…it's not fair…I can't really…move as fast…as I use to." I still looked at him in shock.

"How long did you know?" How long have I been making a fool of myself?

"Please! I knew the second I saw you." His breathing was getting more in rhythm. The sensation to through something big and hard at him was phenomenal. "Although, I will admit that I had to second guess myself at first, but…I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice."

"So all those times…you knew?" I sounded angry. I was angry!

"What can I say? It was cute seeing your reactions."

"Cute!?" He just smiled. He knew I was angry with him.

"Are you going to come here, or do I have to wheel myself to you?" I didn't budge an inch. He sighed before grabbing his wheels, moving them forward again. "Always the stubborn one." He stopped when he was right in front of me. "You know, we're going to have to explain what happened to the others?" I remained silent, and kept my glare. "Come on, Abby. I stopped her. What more could I have done?" His question angered me.

"I'm not angry at you, or at least I wasn't. I'm angry because you told them that damn story! AND you've been making me feel like a fool for weeks."

"I'm sorry." He reached for my hand, and I let him take it. Despite being angry with him, I still wanted his touch. "I didn't mean to hurt you, and I wanted to tell them that story because it's one of my favorite memories right now. I wasn't saying it to embarrass you."

"Well you certainly weren't refraining from it." He let out another sigh.

"What do I need to do for your forgiveness?" Now we're getting somewhere. I didn't even need to think about.

"Apologize."

"I already di-"

"Do you want my forgiveness?" His patience was running thin with me.

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't doing anything like that again. Please forgive me?"

"Now kiss me." I had to say it quick before the embarrassment settled in. He was surprised by my demand, but his gaze softened when he realized what I was truly wanting. He softly pulled my arm down, and placed my hand on his arm rest, like I did back at Levy and Adam's house. I placed my other hand on the other arm rest and gazed into his memorizing blue eyes. He brought his hands up, cupping both my cheeks. My pulse quickened to a dangerous speed as he slowly pulled me in. It was almost torturous with how slow he was going. He stopped when we were just centimeters away from each other. I've had enough. I closed the distance and locked my lips with his once again. It was like I could finally breath for the first time in a long time. Nothing mattered. Not the story, especially not Vanessa. It was like our lips were trying to mesh into one. I grabbed onto his shirt pulling him closer to me. I let out the moan I had held back then and it only made Jean's kiss me deeper. This was bad. I wanted more. I needed more! I quickly pushed away and slowly went to my knees. He was going to kill me. I looked up at him, panting with passion. I could tell by the glimmer in his eyes, that he also wanted to take thing further. "Sorry…I need a moment." To cool off! His fingertips started to graze the top of one of my arms that were now resting on top of his legs. Such a simple gesture had my head spinning all over again. "Jean…" His look told me that he knew he had me. I couldn't help but tremble by that gaze he held.

"Hey!" We both stiffened when we hear Adam's booming voice shout at us. "Everything okay?" I peeked behind Jean to see how far they were. They were a bit away. It was only Adam and Levy. Vanessa was nowhere in sight. I glanced back up at Jean when he made a tired sigh.

"I'm sure Vanessa told them what happened."

"Should we tell them?" He remained silent for a moment. His gazed was serious, looking down at me, thinking about my question.

"Do you trust them?" Was all he asked. I thought a moment. They were getting closer. I looked back up at him, a smile slowly snuck on my face. I nodded, knowing we had a lot of explaining to do. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 21!**

Thanks for reading!


	22. QUICK UPDATE

**Quick Update**

Hey everyone!

First off, I just want to say thank you! Thank you for all of the support! You guys to don't know what it means to mean when I see people are following, favoriting, reviewing or whatever way of showing you are liking the story! Let me just say that it really keeps me going! And on the note…I just wanted to inform you guys, and apologize for taking so long on getting the new chapter out there! No excuses but I just have a lot going on right now. My job is super busy and exhausting. AND…I just recently got engaged! So now I am going to be planning a wedding! :D HAHA So this is just me updating you guys and letting you know that I am still working on the story. Even if it's just a little bit every night, I am working on it! And I am so sorry if it takes a while for me to get a new chapter. Just know that I have not abandoned it, I might just have some bad writers block or I just haven't had the time or energy to think of anything!

Thanks again for all the support and hope you enjoy things yet to come! :D 3


	23. Chapter 22:Our First Time

**XXII**

~ A few months have passed since I came clean to Adam and Levy. We all went back to Jean's place, and I explained everything to them, with Mr. and Mrs. Havoc in the room. Once I broke the news, Mrs. Havoc couldn't look me in the eye. Jean said it was due to being embarrassed. She was trying to get him to break up with me, Abby, so he could start going out with…me, Helen. The fact that I was the same person didn't settle well with her. Not that I blame her…I'd be embarrassed myself. Everyone else took the news well. It was a lot for one night, but they seem to have grasped it. I told them to not bother calling me Abby, just stick with Helen. Vanessa no longer tags along with us, which makes things easier. We never had to worry about making up some excuse as to why I harshly kissed Jean like that. Although, I can tell she has many questions by the way she stares at me when I escort him to his appointments. Luckily, she never has the nerve to come over to ask those questions.

Havoc General has been busier than ever with the winter season leaving. I had to tell my manager at the restaurant to cut some of my shifts so I could pick up a few up at the store. She wasn't too happy about that, but was also glad that I wasn't just out right quitting on her. We've been getting more and more mysterious "packages" from Adam at the store. Each time I ask Jean about it he just tells me to not worry about it, he's got everything handled. I have taken note that the more my questions grow, they more he tends to sweat. Which of course raises the question, how legal is this thing he has going on with Adam? Not to mention that all the costumers who are purchasing these "packages" have this ex-military essence about them.

"Thanks for coming." I handed the gentleman with the very nice cheek scar his receipt with a smile. "And have a safe trip home." He gave me a subtle grin and left with his receipt in hand. All of his 'packages' where already loaded in the back of his truck. "Say Jean…" I saw his body tense in my peripheral vision. "What do you suppose a guy like that coming aaall the way from Pendleton, just to pick up a package from here? I mean, it's not like we sell anything exotic…do we?" Even with his back facing me, I could see the sweat starting to roll down his forehead. I started making my way to him, slowly. "And you know what else? Levy's been telling me that Adam has been taking quite a few overnight trips with a loaded truck, but when he comes back the truck is empty. Kinda weird, don't you think?"

"Yah, weird." My eye twitched from his response.

"Listen here, Havoc." I stepped in front of him so I could see his face. He looked up at me with a smirk that told me he knew he was in trouble. Anymore I only call him Havoc when I'm not happy with him, and boy was that true now. "I don't know if you think I'm just oblivious or stupid…"

"Aren't they kinda the same thing?" He instantly regretted his words, pushing his lips together as if saying he won't speak another one. An innocent puppy like feature came to his eyes, hoping I won't lash out as much as I like to. I just keep my stern gaze on him before continuing.

"Something's going on. I don't know exactly what it is…but I know it's not legal." I bend down, placing my hands on his arm rest like I normally do when I'm wanting to kiss him. I bring my face just inches from his. His face hardens from the intimidation. "I can't help but feel like you've forgotten what I use to do for a living?" We were staring each other down, neither of us back down. "I get things done. When given a job, I do whatever it means to close it. I consider this one of those jobs." He doesn't say anything, but the sly smirk says it all. _"Bring it on."_

"Hey Helen, I'm gonna need your help over here!" Mr. Havoc calls to me from the other side of the store. The phone by the register just started ringing as well. I stand back up, leaving him to answer the phone and to go see what Mr. Havoc was needing.

After helping Mr. Havoc, a costumer needed assistance ringing up the item they were wanting. As I approached the register, I could hear Jean wrapping up the call that he was still on.

"Alright Breda, I'll talk to you later." Breda? My heart leapt in my chest and without thinking, I ran the rest of the way to him, taking the phone out of his hands before it was too late.

"Breda?" You could hear the hopeful enthusiasm in my voice. There was a slight hesitation before I heard a click, indicating that there was no longer anyone on the other end. Disappointment consumed me almost instantly. I gently hung the phone up, just starring at it. I've been trying to reach someone a few weeks after I got here. Months have gone by with no contact, and my first opportunity slipped away from me. "What did he want?" His features softened, seeing the desperation in my eyes. I could see that he was trying to think of something clever to say, something to keep me from the truth. More secrets. "If you're just going to lie, you can forget about telling me." I walked behind the register, trying to remain calm on the outside. The customer warily placed her items on the counter for me to ring up. I placed the few items she had in a bag and gave her, her change so she could leave. I knew he was waiting for her to go so he could continue the conversation but I didn't want to hear it. As soon as she turned to leave, I left the register and headed for the back. With all the business we've been getting, no one's had any time to really organize it. I could hear Jean's wheels rolling right behind me. I guess we were going to talk whether I liked it or not. Once he rolled in and closed the door, I made sure to keep my voice low and calm. "I'm being serious Jean. I don't want to hear it…unless it's the truth." I started to sort out all the crates and goods that needed to go out on the shelves.

"You know I can't tell you…" The sadness in his voice did not match the anger in his eyes. I had asked him numerous times already why Mustang had sent me away. Why I was to stay hidden until I heard word from him, and him only. Jean would only give me the same answer. _'Orders.'_

"Why the hell won't anyone answer their damn phones?" I was already starting to lose the calmness in my voice. "I just want to talk to them. See how things are going. I don't expect them to tell me anything. Fuery, Breda, Falman, even Hawkeye…" I've never had the spirit to try and call Mustang, for fear on how the conversation would end. "No one is ever home, no matter what hour I call at. It's not normal." My organizing is starting to turn into me just throwing things to a different pile. I could see it now. He wants to tell me. He's struggling.

"We were given strict orders…" I could see the truth slowly starting to rise out of him. I was no longer thinking, I just wanted my answers.

"Bullshit with your orders! I can understand the others for following them but you…" I stopped myself knowing I almost crossed the line but the hurt in his eyes confirmed that I still did.

"What about me?" I couldn't answer him. I didn't want to conflict that kind of pain. I should have just shut up like I normally do and just let it fester inside. "Now that I'm discharged, I don't have to follow any orders, right?" It was his turn to be angry. "Just because I can't get out of this chair and stand by my comrades, doesn't mean I still don't have my pride, Lovington." The fact he used my last name sent a cold shiver down my spine. "And the other reason why I will not tell you, is because I know you will run to 'save' him. We all know that you would do just about anything for him. Well news flash, he doesn't need saving. He never has and he never will. I'm so sick of this!" I don't think I've ever seen him this upset. "I'm sick of it always being him and I know you'll be just like the rest of them." Apparently, he has no problem with crossing the line. "He might not date you but I know he'll take you away from me, like he did with all the others." Tears started building up in my eyes, just like all the other pathetic times of not knowing what to do. "I won't tell you because I'm not going to give you to him." He was shouting now, no doubt that any customers out on the floor could hear him. Unable to stand any more of this, I quickly made my way to him, wrapping my arms around him. It was a bit awkward, considering how I had to stand with his chair. He finally stopped shouting and clung onto me as if I was going to leave at any moment.

"I'm sorry." I said through a sniffle, tears wetting my cheeks. "I won't leave you." He clung tighter by my words, bringing me in closer. If we weren't having such a somber moment, I would have accused him of trying to cop a feel considering his face was getting buried in my chest. "Please understand how frustrating this has been for me. Not knowing what is going on. Why Mustang left me behind, with no explanation why I had to disappear."

"He knew, just like the rest of us, if he told you, you never would have left." He was talking into my chest now. It almost made me smile.

"You realize by saying that it only makes my anxiety over the situation worse." He lifted his eyes to me, face still buried. He quickly dropped his hands behind my knees and pushed, making them give out so I had no choice but to sit on his lap. With both my legs on either side of him, it was a tight squeeze, but manageable. He was just staring at me, with such a serious look. I can feel my cheeks starting to heat up, no doubt that I'm blushing.

"You were in danger back at Central." He was very curt with his words, face still serious. My stomach dropped and I could feel a cold sweat make its way down my spine. Danger? "Obviously, I'm not going to get into the details, but it had to do with what happened that night." He didn't need to elaborate. I knew he was talking about the night we ran into the homunculus named Lust. I shivered at the very thought of her and how Jean was almost taken away from this world. "You need to trust us with this." He gently ran his hand up my arm, taking note in the goose bumps that he caused. It was my turn for the serious look. If he thought that the little information he gave me was going to satisfy me, boy was he wrong. If anything, it only stirred up more questions.

"How was I in danger?"

"Abby…" He dropped his hand and was now looking at the pile I had 'rearranged'. His patience was running thin, but he knew he stirred the pot.

"I trust you." He looked back at me, raising one eyebrow as if questioning the truthfulness to my words. "I do! It's just…" I was trying to think of what I needed to say to get him to tell me. "You know me, Jean. Sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me." Trying to lose the stern tone to our conversation, I try my best with a playful pout. His sexy smirk that always tends to make me weak at the knees creeps on his face. Luckily, I'm already seated, even if it is in his lap.

"I do know you." He brought both his hands up to cup my face. My heart accelerated a little too fast for my liking. "Which is why I'm not going to tell you anymore. You get what you get."

"But…" Before I could think of a credible excuse as to why he should tell me, he pulled my face down too meet my lips with his. I wonder if the day will ever come that I won't get a dizzy spell of butterflies when he kisses me. I guess this means we were done bickering with each other. He pushed into the kiss, deepening it into something more passionate. I could feel my cheeks, along with more personal areas of my body starting to heat up. I don't think I'll ever care to admit the effect this man has on me. He was the one to pull away, but not far, just enough to look me in the eyes with determination.

"What I wouldn't give to just take you right here…" He pecked me on the lips slowly and drew back again. "Right now." Not only did my butterflies intense, but they went to a lower region. I don't think I've ever been this turned on before. Biting my lower lip, I look down at his lap to see if he was feeling the same. He chuckled bringing my attention back to his eyes. My heart sank a bit, when I could see the sadness in them. "I would if I could." He leaned forward, kissing me on the forehead.

"Well it's nice to know that your mother was wrong…for a change." Mr. Havoc's voice had me jumping out of Jean's lap so fast that my leg got caught in his chair and fell off, landing on my back. An embarrassing yelp even escaped my mouth. I looked up from the floor to the door to see that Mr. Havoc was leaning against the frame. He was giving Jean a very mischievous smirk. I now know where Jean gets his smile…and allure. "Just wanted to check on you two. It almost sounded like you were both about to tear into each other. Some of the customers, your mother included, were getting concerned." Still looking from the floor, I felt a twinge or embarrassment spread on my face. I guess we really couldn't keep it calm and quiet after all.

"Sorry pops, we were just…"

"No need to explain. I think I have an idea of what you were just." The fact that we couldn't say much as a defense was even more humiliating. We were caught red handed. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, trying to keep any dignity I might still have. The grin of Jean's face made it very clear that he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "By the way, your mother and I will be taking a trip tomorrow and will be gone the whole weekend." Mr. Havoc said as he started to turn around to leave.

"Oh? Where to?" Jean's eyebrow rose with his question. It was almost like he was asking what his father's motives were.

"I think we are long overdue for a vacation. Customer was telling us about these hot springs that's a half day drive away. Your mother needs to relax more and with the two of you to run the shop while we're away is perfect." In that instant, I could feel the stress of this weekend hit me like a slap. All by ourselves? More like all by _my_ self. Jean can't do much when it comes to helping out. He tries his best, and he's really good with the customers making sure that they don't get too impatient with waiting. However, with the store being busy just about every hour in the day would be too much on our own. Especially with it being a weekend. I was only able to close the shop that one time because it was late and on a Tuesday. "Helen, you'll need to make sure my boy is taken care of." So now on top of taking care of the store, I am also in charge of taking care of Jean. Great! Just great! Not that blame him…he never seemed like the chef type before and I'm sure the wheelchair doesn't make anything easy in the kitchen. I could see that this didn't seem to be troubling Jean one bit. His sly smile told me he was looking forward to this chaos. I was trying to figure out what was going through that head of his, because he seems to be enjoying himself. My eyes slowly widened when the one thought crossed my mind. We were going to be alone…

I couldn't decide if the day went by slow…or too fast. Mr. and Mrs. Havoc were long gone to their hot spring getaway and I was just locking up the store for the night. Jean had been dropping not so subtle hints as to what he has planned for tonight throughout the whole day. He would even discreetly touch me in ways that made it clear what he had in mind. I've never fumbled so many times in one day. I forced him to go home before me so I could have a little time to mentally prepare myself. I had packed my bag the previous night and everything was ready to go. We decided that I would be staying over at his place. Since he has the bigger…bed. I stopped in my tracks, cowering over and begged for my heart to stop pumping so fast. _It's not like this is going to be your first time, Abby! Calm down!_ But this will be my first time with him. And _he_ has had a lot more experience than me. I brought my hands up, covering my face. I guess really this will be my second time. The memory of my first time crept up into my mind. So much regret…I shook my head, forcing the memory out of my thoughts. I'm probably getting worked up over nothing. The couple other times we tried didn't go so well. He was never able to get it up. He claims that it happened one time in the hospital. The nurse was giving him a sponge bath when it happened. He didn't even know what was going on until she stopped and was blushing from head to toe. He claims he wasn't thinking of anything perverted and that he was thinking about me at the time. The nurse explained how she's seen it before and how he shouldn't worry about. Only problem is, he hasn't been able to do it since. Not that we've ever gotten _that_ far…The first few times we tried at my place but I put a stop to it. I just wasn't quite ready and the other time…well. Let's just say that Mrs. Havoc had impeccable timing.

"Hey, are you alright?" My head snapped up hearing the familiar voice of Adam. Levy was standing right behind him. "Helen?" Realizing it was me, he knelt next to me. "Are you alright?"

"Uh…" How to explain my time of distress? "Yah, I was just tying my shoe." I could tell I didn't have him convinced, but he knew better than to ask. If I wanted to tell him, I would and he knows that.

"We were just on our way to Jean's." Levy was now standing next to Adam.

"Really?" I couldn't tell if my voice held relief or disappointment. Did he invite them, or are they making a random guest appearance?

"He wanted to have a little get together while his parents were out of town." I stood up with Adam explaining.

"Well I was heading that way as well." I saw both of their line of sight on the bag I had over my shoulder. I looked at it as well in sheer panic. There's no way I can get out of this one…

"Let's walk there together?" The fact that they weren't going to ask meant everything to me. I knew they knew, but not having to explain everything made all the difference.

The evening was finally winding down. Levy and I prepared a quick but tasty dinner. We were all now in the living room having separate conversations. Levy was talking about all her wedding plans and how ready she was for the day to come. Jean and Havoc were having an entertaining conversation. They kept snickering at each other.

"What are you two talking about over there?" I guess they were drawing Levy's curiosity too.

"Just reminiscing on the good old days." Adam said over his shoulder. We both made our way to our significant other. Levy decided to take her seat on Adam's lap. I decided to take the arm chair next to Jean. "Do you still play the guitar?" Adam's question was directed at Jean, who had a soft smile on his face.

"I've taken it up again. I rarely played it back then though."

"If there's one thing I missed about you, buddy, it was your guitar playing. Why don't you play us something?" The uneasiness was almost instant in Jean's eyes.

"I don't know…I'm still kinda rusty." I remember the first time I heard him play. If that was before rusty, I can't wait to hear him after he's practice for a while.

"Come on! You can't be that bad. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike for you. It was practically attached to you before you enrolled." Adam insisted, with Levy backing him with persistent head nods. Jean looked at me for his last hope. I almost felt bad for him.

"I wouldn't mind hearing you strum a few cords." Like I said…Almost. With a defeated sigh, Jean adjusted himself in his seat.

"Alright…could you go get my guitar?" His eyes met mine. I could read them perfectly. _I'll get my revenge later._ Ignoring the sudden warmth in my body, I stood.

"Where is it?"

"It's behind my bedroom door." I eagerly went to fetch his guitar, making sure I didn't linger in his room too long. When I returned and handed the instrument to him, he instinctly placed the guitar on his lap, tuning it before he starts. He cleared his throat before looking at his anticipating audience. "This is something I've been working on. It's not quite complete…so no laughing." He closed his eyes as the room fell in complete silence as he strummed the first few cords. The tune itself was slow, but still had a cheerful ring to it. I know I felt my heart skip a beat when he started singing. Even Adam and Levy were pleasantly surprised, but not for the same reason I was. I never would have imagined him having this kind of voice. Why was I now only hearing it? It was a little hoarse, from the all the smoking he does, but it was still beautiful. I was grasping onto every word that was being sung out. After a while, he finally opened his eyes, locking them with mine. I could hear my heart in my ears now, it was pumping so hard. It was clear that he was singing to me, that this song was written for me. All his feelings laid out in this one melody. When he strung the last cords to the song, we continued to gaze at each other. A tear I hadn't realized was there until it rolled down my cheek. I have no words to what just happened.

"That was amazing, Jean!" Levy was the first to pipe up. She was even getting emotional. I finally looked away to wipe the tear off my cheek. "What's it called?"

"Don't know yet. Like I said, it's not complete."

"You have way too much time on your hands, you know." Adam jested, but even he looked impressed.

"It was beautiful." I finally commented on his work. We locked eyes again. If there was one thing I knew in this moment, was that I was ready for what was to come tonight. I could feel Adam eyeing the two of us.

"Well, Lev, I think it's time we get going." I could feel my cheeks flush, knowing what he was doing. He was reading the atmosphere a little too well. Levy was about to protest when Adam cut her off. "I don't think we're really wanted anymore." I had to look at a small figurine that was on the end table in front of me to try and contain my embarrassment. I'm sure she realized what was going on, as she stood up and they both made their way to the front door. "You kids have a…safe night." I could have thrown the small figurine at him. I could hear him snickering as Levy lectured him as they walked out the door. We now stood there in silence. _Now what?_ He started to roll his way over to me and took one of my hands in his.

"If you need to get ready, my bathroom is connected to my bedroom." I couldn't say anything and I didn't want to move for fear that my legs would show just how nervous I am. "We don't have to…if you're still not ready." I guess I don't have to worry about my legs, because my eyes are apparently giving me all away.

"I want to!" I might have sounded a bit too eager there. A gentle smile made its way to his face. I know he's been waiting for this for a long time. Probably longer than me.

"Take your time. I'll get ready myself while I wait." All I could do was nod before walking away.

I couldn't tell you how long I've been standing in front of this bathroom mirror. I had taken a quick shower to freshen myself up more…even though I took one this morning already. My nerves were just about shot, I had to make sure I was ready. I had applied a small amount of makeup, making myself look as natural as possible but still boosting my features. Fortune was smiling at me last night when I remembered that Mustang had grabbed two of my favorite nighties when he was stuffing my travel bag. I'm a bit amused by one of them that he had packed. It was more like lingerie than a nightie and I had stored it at the very bottom of the drawer, just in case if someone went through them. It was a black baby doll style with see through lace that draped over my stomach and came down to the bottom of my butt. The chest part covered my breast well and was designed to have thicker lace design to hide my nipples better. The straps where different from what I had ever seen in Antonio's shop, which is why I got it. There was a normal strap that connected from the back of the lingerie to the front, like a normal bra, but then two other straps started between my collar bone and the upper part of my breast and they went down to either side of my breast. It really refined my boobs and even gave the illusion that they were a bit bigger than what they were. Unfortunately, Mustang didn't grab the thong that went with it. I guess I'll just have to go pantiles. Not that it was a big deal. I guess with what was about to happen, the thong would be pointless. My hair wasn't quite all the way dry but it gave another sexiness to my look. Everything was perfect. I just had to pry myself away from the mirror and step out to him. _You can do this, Abby._ With a new-found courage, I finally stepped away and grabbed the handle to the door. Before I opened it, I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. I couldn't hear any form of movement and took it as my cue. Without giving myself another second to contemplate about this, I opened the door and stepped out to the cool room. The coolness felt good on my still heated skin from the shower. I stood in the door way, trying to see Jean laying on the bed. He had turned off the lights, making the glow from the bathroom the only light source.

"Wow…" His voice came from the ever-dimming darkness. With my eyes adjusted, I could make out that he was sitting up in his bed, wearing only his boxers. Feeling all the anxiety, I had in the shower, I shut the bathroom light off. Leaving us in complete darkness. Luckily the street lamp that was outside his window gave me enough light to safely make my way to his bed. I paused at the foot of it, trying to get my eyes to adjust again. I wasn't sure what to do at this point. Not that there was any other option. "Come here." His voice was soft, which was almost hard to hear with my heart beating at the typical dangerous speed. However, it was enough to get my legs working again. I placed my hands on his bed first and then brought up my knees as I slowly crawled up to him. I was trying to find him by feeling around the bed. Luckily, I was right where I needed to be. I was now straddling him, with my legs on either side of him. His hands found their place on my hips, sending a shiver through my body. We haven't really started, and he was already having this effect on me. I gently placed my hands on his chest, once again not knowing where to take this. "Are you okay?" Even though the room is consumed in darkness, I'm sure he can feel the apprehension coming off me.

"Yes." My voice was matching his.

"Do you want to continue?"

"Yes." I just don't know how! One of his hands moved from my hip and found its way to the back of my head. He gently pushed down, guiding me to lean forward to have my lips find his. His lips were soft for a change, like his kiss. An unexpected moan escaped my mouth when I felt his tongue in my mouth. My body was starting to feel warm as we played with each other's tongues. I started to move my hips on him, just for the sake of not going crazy. It gave me an outlet to all tingles I was getting in my lower region. His other hand that was still on my hip finally left its home and went up and under the lace part of my lingerie. His fingers were just barely grazing my skin. The sensation it gave me had me moaning even louder. He quickly brought his hand out of the lace and forcefully squeezed one of my breast. I broke the kiss with a soft gasp and pushed away.

"What's wrong?" He was concerned. Probably thinking that he did something wrong, when in fact, he has done everything right. My eyes had finally adjusted and I could now make out most of his features again, which meant he could probably see me just fine as well.

"Nothing." Compared to him, my voice was much breathier. "It's just…" Embarrassment stopped me from finishing my statement.

"What?" There's no way I can say it! "Abby…you need to let me know what I'm doing wrong."

"You're not doing anything wrong!" We were both quiet now. He must be waiting for me to elaborate. I guess I have no choice… "It's just that…it was starting to feel really good." I know I shouldn't feel ashamed of this, but I did. I almost lost it when he chuckled. "Don't laugh!" I grabbed the pillow that was by his head and shoved it on his face, hoping he would suffocate. This just made him laugh more.

"I'm sorry." It was muffled, but I was still able to make out what he said. His hands gently grabbed both my wrist and helped me lift the pillow off. "I don't mean to laugh. You're just too cute." Great! Just what a girl wants to hear when she's trying to be sexy. "It's supposed to feel good."

"I know that! This isn't my first time you know…" We were quiet again, with a new awkwardness hanging in the room. _Just perfect Abby! Let's talk about that God-awful time while you're trying to make love to the man of your dreams. You've only fantasized about this day on countless nights._ I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt his hand on my cheek, pushing me to look back at him.

"Can I continue to make you feel good?" What a silly question. I shook my head and his hand left my cheek.

"It's not fair to you…"

"What do you mean?" Before I could over think of what I was about to do, I leaned back down and kissed him deeply. I could tell he wasn't expecting this. I broke away slightly, my lips just hovering over his. "I shouldn't be the only one getting all the pleasure." I said through a sly smile. I brought my lips back to his, continuing the deep kiss from before. His hands were back on my hips, making them move back and forth. "Are you able to feel that?" I broke the kiss again to ask. He shook his head, not saying anything. I guess it was my turn to ask the silly questions. My eyes zoned in on his neck. It looked tasty. "Are you able to feel this?" I broke my lips down to his, biting it gently. A small gasp escaped his lips, sending another wave of tingles down my body. I wanted to hear him more. Kissing where I just bit, I start to kiss my way down his body. Every other kiss or two I make sure to take a nibble of his chest, sometimes sucking as I let up. His breathing has increased, giving me the impression that I was doing a good job. I continued my down him, stopping at the brim of his boxers. Having nowhere else to go, I stuck my tongue next to his happy trail and licked my way back up his chest. A deep moan came from him as I stopped at the nape of his neck, coming back for his lips. Realization of my behavior was starting to settle and my chest felt a bit tight with embarrassment. Something has possessed me, but he wasn't objecting. I couldn't help but jolt when I felt his one hand grab my ass. I could tell he was surprised by the way he pulled away from my lips.

"You're not wearing anything?" What? Did I break some kind of lingerie rule or something? Not knowing how to really answer him, I just shook my head. "Good. Saves me the trouble of ripping them off you." His hand squeezed my ass, sending a new kind of sensation through me. This was new…and I liked it. A soft groan let him know that I enjoyed it. Even in the darkened room, I could see that sexy smirk on his face.

"Wait..." His other hand was making quick work and went between my legs, getting ready for the next step. I was at a conflict. I wasn't ready for what was about to happen, but I didn't want him to stop. He knew I didn't want him to stop, and slowly inserted his finger in me. The immediate pleasure that coursed through me had me closing me eyes. The movement of his finger already had me weak. A small whimper escaped from me as he silently had his way with me. He's obviously done this before, because my God…he's only using one finger and he's already made me feel better than my first time. He quickly snuck in another finger and I could no longer contain my moans. I wasn't even trying to be quiet anymore. I was impressed that I haven't passed out with how uneven my breath was. What was this? It was almost unbearable, but God! I'll kill him if he stops.

"Jean…" He squeezed my ass again when I moaned out his name. I finally opened my eyes again and saw that he was watching me, closely. It felt like I was going out of my mind with all the pleasure that was building up in me. "Jean." I closed my eyes again, and my hands also closed into fists on top of his chest. His fingers quickened inside me, going even deeper. My moaning was out of control. He found the perfect spot that had me going over the edge. "Jean!" I threw my head back, exploding in bliss. This was intense. My body was shaking from the sensation of it all. I've never had this kind of feeling before, even with doing it to myself. He slammed his fingers in one last time as my climax came to its max. I let out a scream of pleasure as I clenched around his fingers. I could feel how wet I had become with what was dripping down my leg. What has this man done to me? He slowly removed his fingers from me as he continued to watch me. My panting almost sounded like hushed whimpers. I was still jolting from the ghost of pleasure. "Holy shit…" Was all I could say, and that's all that was needed.

"You could say that again." His voice was low, almost rough sounding.

"What the hell was that?" He chuckled under me, more than amused by the scene before him.

"Pretty sure that was an orgasm." His sparkled with love and pride. _No shit?_ If he can do this to me with just two fingers…I would almost hate to see what he's able to do with the real thing. Speaking of which…

"Are you…?" I hesitated to reach behind me to see if he was up.

"I don't know…" I could hear the hope in his voice. "Can you check?" I slowly felt my way to his crotch, finding my way above his boxers. Nothing. I brought my hand back, almost afraid to tell him. I looked him in the eye and just shook my head. I could see the disappointment fill his eyes right away, followed by an even more disappointed sigh. "I'm sorry. I guess we have to end it here." I wish there was something I could do to get that spark back in his eyes, but I understood why he was frustrated. We've tried a few other times with no luck. This was the first time we've ever gone so far, but still he wasn't able. I moved off him and stepped quickly into the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to clean myself up. I took some out to him so he could wipe himself clean from my left-over juices. "Thanks." Still not able to look me in the eye, he handed me the used tissue for me to throw in the toilet. I had changed into one of his used shirts that was laying on the floor before crawling back in bed with him. I couldn't be more comfortable. "Come here." He lifted his arm up for me to come snuggle up to him. I smiled sweetly as I fit perfectly, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Let me know if your arm starts falling asleep." He scoffed at my concern.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm used to it." I hate that the first thing that popped in my mind was Emily. After what just happened between us, the last thing I want to think about is one of his exes.

"Hey Jean…" Trying to shake Emily out of my mind, I tried to think of something to talk about.

"Yah?"

"There's been a couple things that have been bugging me for a long time now." I think I can finally ask all these questions I've had for him for so many years.

"Ok…" He seemed uneasy with my questions hanging in the air. I was scrambling in the back of my mind to find which question I wanted to ask him. For whatever reason, the conversation I had with Earl at the bar the night I confessed when I fell in love with Jean came to mind.

"Back at the Academy there was this rumor going around after I came back from the hospital."

"And what rumor would that be?" I could hear the smile in his voice. He already knew where I was going with this.

"Everyone was telling me that you were the one who put Ellis in the room down the hall from me for what he did to me. Is that true?" No answer. Why is he taking so long to say something? Maybe I shouldn't have asked?

"Why are you asking now?"

"I've always wanted to know but…I never had the courage to ask. I honestly never knew what I would do, no matter how you answered." He started to graze his hand on my arm, sending tingles through my body again.

"And what if I was?" Damn it! He's really making me regret asking this.

"I told you I don't know! I don't even know what I want your answer to be."

"It was me." He said it so nonchalantly. I looked up at him, surprised.

"Why?" I always knew that would be the follow up question. He looked down at me, debating whether he would tell me or not. He laid his head back down on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling before answering.

"I came to see you a few days after you were admitted to the hospital. You were passed out from the meds the doctor had given you. Let's just say he was lucky I stopped when I did." I was a mess for weeks. It took almost a week for my one eye to swell down. Not to mention all the bruises I was covered in. Luckily, I didn't break any bones. "Did you have another question?" I tried to rack through my brain quickly to think of something. I have so many that I couldn't think of one.

"What about you?" Give me some time to get my thoughts together.

"I have a few."

"What's your first one?"

"Did Bowie have a chance?" Wasn't expecting that. _Wait…_ My next question just popped in my head.

"Since you brought up Bowie, whatever happened that day in the hallway?" He let out an exasperated sigh.

"You know you ignored my question, right?"

"I'll answer yours when you answer mine."

"I already answered one of your questions! How is this fair?"

"That's the rule." I snuggled deeper into him, bringing in his warmth.

"I really would rather not…" I could tell bringing this up was making him uncomfortable, but it only peeked my curiosity.

"Then I guess you'll never know."

"Alright, alright." I looked back up to his face, to watch his reaction. "He…damn it. Do I really have to tell you?"

"Why are you being such a girl about this?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just spit it out already."

"You're a real brat, you know that?" I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "For the love…when you went to investigate my apartment and left me alone with the asshole, he started running his mouth. He wouldn't shut up about how he was going to steal you from Mustang and make you his own little subordinate. Of course, he just couldn't stop there because he wasn't getting a rise out of me, even though I wanted nothing but to punch out his teeth at that point, but then he goes and says how he was going to have his way with you in his office and all other kinds of stupid stuff. I lost it at that and that's when you came running out." I'm glad I listened to my gut feeling about Bowie. He was bad news. I felt my cheeks get a bit hot from listening to his story. He cared about me that much at that time, and I couldn't see it. Now that I'm here, it all makes sense.

"Thank you."

"Like I said, no one messes with the team." I just smiled, remembering that day, and knowing now that there was more to it. "Now back to my question." I exaggerated a yawn and sunk more into him.

"I'm going to sleep now. Good night, Jean."

"Hey! I don't think so!" He brought both of his hands on my sides and started to tickle me.

"No!" I tried squirming out of his grasp but I was up against the wall with no real place to go. "Stop! Jean, no! I'll kick you out of bed!"

"Answer my question and I'll stop!" He was laughing with me, making sure I couldn't escape.

"Okay! Okay!" He stopped with my unspoken promise and gave me time to get comfortable next to him again.

"What was your question?"

"Did Bowie have a chance?"

"Oh yah. Umm…" I thought about it for a moment. "To be honest, I don't know. Maybe?" I hate that I couldn't tell him no, but I didn't want to lie. At the time, I didn't have anything against Bowie. If anything, I would've just used him to get over Jean.

"Hmm…" My answer didn't appease him.

"What?"

"Nothing." He was pouting now.

"Are you mad?"

"No." Yes!

"Oh, come on! If I had known he was out to get me, I probably wouldn't have given him the time of day."

"It's okay. I understand. Nothing wrong with befriending the enemy." I know he was only joking, but his words stung.

"I wasn't doing anything with the enemy!"

"Abby." I shot a glare up to him, but felt my heart melt the moment our lips touched. _Asshole._ How am I supposed to be mad at him when he makes my heart flutter like this? He broke the gentle kiss and pecked my nose quickly. "It's bedtime. I'm starting to fall asleep."

"Okay." I rested my head on his shoulder again and brought the covers up to cover my arms.

"Good night."

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Surprise me."

"I'll do my best." He softly chuckled. I can tell he was barely hanging on to his conscious.

"Good night, Abby."

"Night, Jean." The love I have for this man is going to be the death of me. Listening to his steady heartbeat I drifted off to sleep, still in arms. ~

 **END OF CHAPTER 22!**

Thanks for reading!

So this was my first "lemon" and believe me, I know I suck at it…but maybe I'll get better over time ㈳5

I copied the link to the inspiration I had for the lingerie. I know I completely botched the description for it, so if you want an actual idea as to what I had in mind, here you go! If not, use your imagination I guess haha

shop/product/maidenform-super-sexy-big-floral-lace-baby-doll-with-matching-thong-mfb103-a-macys-exclusive?ID=2397449&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&CAWELAID=120156340003561223&CAAGID=19255287687&CATCI=pla-77593329850&catargetid=120156340001159685&cadevice=c&cm_mmc=Google_Intimates_PLA-_-G_Int_PLA+-+Brands+Maidenform_Maidenform-_-53030645607-_-pg90370_c_kclickid_51aa15ff-b6df-499d-bed8-cc2ac532e03e&trackingid=461x90370&gclid=CjwKEAjw1PPJBRDq9dGHivbXmhcSJAATZd_BCdneeUmHL1zb-qpO9IB9FVpfXBaHsGHwt5aUb7X_6RoCPE7w_wcB

Thanks for all your patience!


	24. Chapter 23:Mother

**XXIII**

~ _It was a beautiful, cloudless day. The sun was bright, but I couldn't feel the heat from it. I was standing in the middle of a wheat field. It almost looked like some off land in Resembol. The field went on for miles. This feeling inside me…I've felt it before, but from where?_

" _Abby…" I turned my head to look behind me, to the familiar voice. "My beautiful girl." My mother was standing off in the distance. Her long blonde hair matches the brightness of the sun. A gust of wind blew around us as a pit in my stomach sank. Both our white dresses pressed against our skin, going with the wind._

" _Mother?" I turned my body to start walking to her. I knew I had to get to her, but why?_

" _Why did you leave me? I've been all by myself…"_

" _Mother!" I took off in a sprint as panic struck me. The more I ran, the farther away she became._

" _Do not freight, my child. I won't be alone for much longer. I'll be seeing your father soon."_

" _No, please mother! I'm sorry. I never meant to have you feel abandoned. Please don't leave me! I need you!" Even with the distance between us, I could see her sad, beautiful smile. I've seen it so many times before, but this time I knew it would be the last. "Mother!" I cried out as I reached for her, but it was all for nothing._

" _I love you…" She started to disappear in the air, right before my eyes. It was as if whoever had a hold on me finally let go, for I could close the distance between us, but I was too late. My hand that was still reached out closed around nothing. I now stood there, all alone in this field with the wind blowing my hair in my face to hide the tears on my cheeks. I clenched my teeth together to try and stop the quiver in my lower lip._

" _No!" I screamed into the wind, knowing there was no one there to hear my cry._

"Abby?" I slowly opened my eyes to the sound of Jean's voice. When I rolled over to face him, he wasn't next to me anymore. I groggily sat up and looked around for him. "Good, you're awake." His voice was coming from the floor, his chair hadn't moved from where he left it last night. I leaned over the edge of the bed to find him lying on the floor, on his back. Sweat was running down his forehead and down his bare chest.

"What are you doing down there?" My voice was very coarse. I needed a drink of water.

"I didn't want to disturb you, so I'm doing my daily workout here. I typically do it in bed. Were you having a nightmare?" He was watching me carefully. The dream came back to me in an instant.

"No, I'm fine."

"You were crying out to your mother." My chest tightened to his words. I had a bad feeling about all this. Every time I have a dream like that…it tends to come true in one way or form.

"It was just a nightmare, Jean. No need for that face." I'll just make a quick call to home to make sure things are okay.

"Come here." His face was soft, and understanding. I crawled out of bed and onto the floor, slowly making my way to him. "Right here." He gestured for me to straddle him again. The view I had now had me wishing I saw this last night. His hand caressed my check, easing my heart. "You know you can talk to me, right?" I placed my hand on top of his, giving his palm a quick kiss before placing it back on my cheek.

"I know." Although his touch eases me, it hasn't quieted my mind. I keep replaying that dream over and over in my head. Just then my stomach growled a bit too loudly for my taste. I didn't even realize I was hungry until now. He looked at me lovingly and even gave me a chuckle.

"So, what's for breakfast?"

"I haven't thought of it yet. What sounds good?"

"You." Why the hell did that turn me on so fast? What is this man doing to me?

"I'm being serious, Jean." I looked away, trying my best to hide my embarrassment from my lower area going crazy.

"So am I." He took his hand away from my cheek and grazed his fingers up my thigh. _Shit!_ My bodywas starting to feel warm and warmer the more his hand went up. I knew I was in trouble when he went under his shirt that I was still wearing. I need to get up and out of here, but I couldn't get myself to move. I wanted…no, needed his touch. I wanted what happened last night to happen again. I needed him to make me feel good again. With only desire driving me now, I slightly lifted myself off him, to make his access easier. He gently played with the upper part of me, teasing me. I leaned forward, placing my hands on the floor, on either side of his head. My hair fell over my shoulder and draped down on his face. He didn't budge, or even try to brush it away. He only brought his other hand and glided it up my back, under his shirt. An unwilling moan came from me by the new drive I had with his stern hand making its way back down by back, stopping on my bare ass. His first hand finally made its way lower to me, but still not giving me what I want. My breath quickened with the anticipation of his fingers dancing around my opening, and his other hand squeezing my ass. This is it. This is what going crazy feels like. With only passion in his eyes, an evil smirk crept on his face. "You're too cute." He pulled both of his hands away, just to bring them to caress my face and pull me down for a kiss. _What?_ He broke the kiss and relaxed under me, putting his hands behind his head with a look of triumph. _What?!_ Realizing what just happened, I shot to my feet, glaring daggers at him.

"You're a real ass, you know that?" I stomped my way to the door and flung it open.

"Abby, don't be like that." There was laughter behind his voice. I can't believe he just did that. Make me so desperate for him. Making me show him that side of me, just for his satisfaction. I stormed down the hallway towards the kitchen to let my anger out on whatever I was going to make. I froze in place after passing the living room door. _Did I…Did I just see someone in there?_ I slowly backed up and peeked into the room that we were all in last night as we watched Jean play his song. Complete panic consumed me when I saw Mr. Havoc sitting in his lounge chair, reading today's paper. He looked over to me for a moment, and then made a double take, processing that I was standing there. I breathed in, realizing that I had stopped breathing for a moment.

"Oh, Abby, Good morning." I didn't say anything in return. I was still too shocked to process why he was here.

"Good morning, Abby." I almost jumped out of my skin, covering my mouth to stop the scream that almost escaped by Mrs. Havoc's sudden appearance behind. I turned back around, placing my back on the wall, my hand still covering my mouth. She was standing in the kitchen's door way, looking me up and down, while mixing some kind of batter in a bowl. I went from being in heaven to dropping straight into hell. I slowly took my hand from my mouth so I could pull Jean's shirt down more, hoping that some kind of miracle would happen and I would become fully clothed.

"Good morning." My words were barely a whisper. Mrs. Havoc smiled at me, understandingly.

"Allan, dear? Could you look the other way, so she can go back to Jean's room to change?" _Please, God, just smite me now!_ "You can go, sweetie." I nodded and shamefully made my way back to Jean's room. I closed the door slowly behind me and held in a scream. Jean was sitting in his chair now, seeming confused by my presence.

"Did I hear someone out there?" He pulled over the shirt he had in hands over his torso.

"Yah…"

"Who's out there? Are you okay?" I had no intention with hiding my shame from my face. His parents just caught us. It might not have been with our hands in the cookie jar, but none the less, we were caught.

"You're…parents." I had to let out a scornful laugh, just to relieve some of my embarrassment. His eyes widened in horror. I imagine that's what mine looked like just moments ago.

"What?" I pushed my lips together, not know what else to say. "When did they get back?"

"I don't know. I just walked passed your father in the living room and then your mother snuck up behind me, scarring the daylights out of me. She sent me back here to change." I sunk down to the floor, covering my face with my hands.

"Well there goes our day…" He looked towards the window, seeming to be contemplating something. "Well I'll let you get changed. I imagine my mother is going to make you stay for a very awkward breakfast." I looked up at him, not wanting to move.

"Can't we just hide out in here?" A sly smile form on his face.

"We could, but…" There's always a 'but'. "I don't think my parents would appreciate any of the activities we would be doing in here." There goes my heart…again. Not to mention the temperature in this room increased so suddenly. Feeling embarrassed all over again, I stood up and moved out of the way so he could open the door. "I'll see you out there." He gave me a meek smile and wheeled himself out. I closed the door behind him and decided to change into the extra clothes that I had packed, preparing myself for the day ahead.

A few days past and I was back at the general store helping Mrs. Havoc move a few things. We had a good heart to heart the other day. I ended up helping her make breakfast. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be. I was a bit tense when she brought up the previous night, but all she asked was that we respected them and their house rules. No premarital sex. She said it with a gentle smile, as if saying that she understood, but still please still follow our rules.

"Hey, Helen, you got a phone call." Jean called from across the store for me. _For me?_ I glanced at Mrs. Havoc to make sure she was alright by herself.

"You go and I'll take a break." She waved me off, a bit out of breath. I was trying to figure out who would be calling me as I made my way to the front. No one knows that I'm here, at least not for certain. Except…

My heart dropped to my stomach all too fast. I even stopped in my tracks with the indication that it was him. Everything in me was telling me to go back to Mrs. Havoc. Pretend like I didn't hear Jean and continue on with my life. As long as I didn't have to hear his voice.

"Abby." Jean yelled across the store again, but it didn't get me to move.

"Is everything alright, dear?" Mrs. Havoc was standing next to me now, placing her hand on my back. I only looked at her, pleading for this to not be happening. "Helen?" Snap out of it Abby. You're starting worry her.

"Yes, just gathering myself is all." I tried my best to give her a whole-hearted smile, but knew it was in vain. My feet started to move all on their own, and when I reached Jean my hands were shaking. He handed me the phone and the look he had made me knew that he was concerned. I just stared at the receiver, unable to bring it up to my ear. Jean took a hold of my other hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He had no idea what was going on, but knew it wasn't good. _Come on Abby, just get this over with._ With a new-found determination, I brought the phone to my ear. He squeezed my hand one more time before rolling away to go help his mother, giving me my privacy. Little did he know that I wanted…needed him here next to me.

"Hello?" My voice was barely audible, even for me. There was nothing but silence on the other end. Did they hang up? Before a wave of relief could come over me, I heard him take a breath.

"She went peacefully." A familiar low, gentle voice came from the other side of the receiver. I had to use the hand that Jean was holding just a moment ago to keep myself up on my feet, placing it on top of the counter. I knew this day would come, but I still wasn't ready to hear those words. I had to really focus on my breathing. Making sure that I didn't hyperventilate and cause a scene. I had been meaning to call to check on her, but every time I would pick the damn phone up, I could never dial the number.

"When?" My voice was still quiet and calm.

"Earlier this morning. The doctor is thinking sometime after 4:30." I closed my eyes, letting it all sink in. She's gone. I really didn't know how I felt about it. There was only one other question that I wanted to ask, but I'm almost scarred to. The voice on the other end didn't say anything. He just waited for me to collect my thoughts. I opened my eyes again and looked straight ahead of me. I had to know.

"I just need to know one more thing. Did she, um…Did she…" I couldn't finish the question. I knew whatever the answer was; it was only going to break my heart.

"She called for you." _Please don't do this…_ He knew exactly what I was wanting to ask. "Right before I put her to bed, she went searching for you, but as usual you were nowhere to be found." I deserved this. I deserved the cruelty of his words. In the end, she remembered. God was truly a sick being. "Will there be anything else?"

"No."

"What about the will?"

"Burn it, along with the house and everything in it."

"Abby." He was not pleased. As a matter fact, I would even say he was angry, which is unheard of for him. "She wanted you to keep the house, the property, everything."

"I never wanted it. Any of it."

"You won't even give her, her dying wish?"

"I have no reason to keep it."

"Then just sell the damn thing. Why do you have to burn it?" Symbolism maybe? I mean…the Elric brothers seemed to have had the right idea. I have nothing to go back to now. What's the point in keeping any memories? They'll only tie you down.

"You can expect your last paycheck soon. I'll make the arrangements. After that, consider all ties between us broken."

"You're really okay with this? Losing everything they have ever worked for? They wanted you to have this for _your_ family." There was pain in his voice. Why was he the one getting emotional?

"That was their decision, and this is mine." No response. I could tell he was trying to calm his breathing. I don't think I've ever heard him this infuriated before.

"Very well." His shaky voice finally came back through the receiver. "Will there be anything else?"

"No."

"I'll see to it then. Have a good day-"

"Wait." I looked back down to the counter, where my hand still was squeezed tight. _Just one thing…Just one memory._ He waited for me to continue. "Before you burn everything…if you're able to save one of her bushes…" I knew I didn't need to explain anymore. Most of my memories with her were out there in her garden, especially with the rose bushes. They were her pride and joy, right next to me, as she would always say that.

"I'll see what I can do." Next thing I heard was the click, telling me he was no longer on the other end. It's done. I hung the phone up but couldn't move from the spot. I could feel it all coming out but fought to keep it in. The rage, my scream, the tears…All I could see was her face. Her beautiful, loving face that looks nothing like mine. I should have told him to keep a picture of the two of them. That way their faces would never fade from me.

"Excuse me, miss?" I jolted to attention when a customer snuck up behind me. I quickly spun around, all while regaining my composure.

"I was hoping you could help me find this?" She handed me her short list that was written on a wrinkled piece of paper. I looked at the few items that weren't crossed off yet.

"Of course! Right this way."

The rest of the day was predictable. I couldn't focus on anything and constantly had to deny that anything was wrong. Jean asked, only a few times, who I talked to but after the third or fourth time, he gave up. I knew he was still worried, because he was being stubborn about walking (or should I say wheeling?) me home. I kept the door open for him and locked it as soon as he came through. Without missing a beat, I placed my keys on their hook by the door and made my way to the stove to start dinner. He was going to start asking questions, which meant I was going to have to start really thinking about it. Something I wasn't ready to do. I continued preparing the meal in silence. It was starting to bug me. My movement started to become more aggressive the more the silence continued. I could see the funeral. See how all her friends would be there, but no family. I could see the house, now empty and lonelier then it's ever been. Going up in flames and taking everything that I once had with it. I could hear her voice…screaming and crying out to me. Panicked that I was nowhere to be found.

I grabbed the piece of chicken that I was attempting to cut up and threw it across the chicken. I didn't realize that my breathing became abnormal until I crouched down and cradled my head in my hands. I finally let the tears fall out and down my cheeks. She didn't deserve what I did to her. She was the last person I ever wanted to hurt, but I just couldn't… I felt Jean place his hand on my shoulder. The comfort he already gave me had me squeezing my eyes shut, forcing the tears to pour out faster.

"Talk to me." His voice was gentle, and concerned. I couldn't speak. I can't say it. "I'm here for you."

"My mother…" I finally managed to say through a hard sob. "Is dead." His hands tightened around my shoulder. As if he was trying to take the pain from my words away. "She's dead." I whimpered out. He pushed on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around and on my knees to bring me in for an embrace. He didn't say anything. He only held me and that was enough. After a while he started to pet my head, trying to calm me down, but he never dared to tell me to do so. It was working though. It took some time, but I finally calmed down.

"Let's go sit." Normally, I would comment that he's already sitting, but not now. He helped me up and guided me to the small kitchen table I had. I sat down and immediately reached for his hands. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know. Does anyone really want to talk about it?" I tried to say it with a smile. I thought about it for a moment, and with no real desire I start to pour everything out. "She died earlier this morning. They say she went peacefully in her sleep…" I had to pause to stop another sob from coming out. "And I'm grateful for that, but…before she went to bed that night she…" My voice gave out with her voice screaming in my head. "She remembered me. She was calling out for me, but I wasn't there. I was never there when she needed me. I'm a terrible daughter." Before I could continue my hysterical rant, I was pulled back into his chest, shutting me up for the moment. A soft sob escaped my lips as my bottom lip quivered.

"You're not a terrible daughter…" I started to chuckle rather mockingly by his ignorance.

"You have no idea." I pushed away from him so I could look him in the eyes. "I left her, all by herself for years." The anger that was bubbling in me was becoming more potent. "She never deserved that. Why did I leave her?" I brought my hand to my forehead, looking away as if doing so would help keep any sanity I had left in. "She just…became so hard to be around after father died." That day when we got the news of my father's death, I knew something in her snapped. The doctors had to prescribe her a few medicines to help her stop seeing the illusions of him and help her sleep at night. As the years passed she had slowly started to forget me. Some days she would know who I was, other days…I was as good as a stranger to her. The doctor had a fancy word for her condition, but I can never remember the name. "I saw her before I came here." My hand dropped from my head and lay on my lap. "Right after Mustang sent me away. I bought a ticket to Resembol. I didn't want to…but I had to make arrangements with her care giver to make sure he always had a way to get a hold of me." Boy was he surprised when he saw me walking up the drive way. My mother on the other hand…it was like I had never left. "I was only going to stay for that one night but…I wasn't expecting her to remember me. For almost a month, I had my mother again." He did say she was getting better and better every day. "One early evening though, she forgot again. The mother I had only a few moments ago was gone. I was once again a stranger. I left right after she went to bed and bought my next ticket to here." I finally looked back up to him. His face was hard to decipher but I could tell he was having a hard time trying to figure out what to say to me. "In the long run, it wasn't safe for me to be there anyways. I found out that a few days after I left, the military was there looking for me." I let out a small chuckle. "To be honest, I'm kinda surprised that they haven't come looking for me here." I paused to look at him, as if asking for his comfort.

"Let's go to bed." I loved that he always knew what I needed. Whether I knew it or not, but first…I have to make a call.

"I'll be right behind you. I have to make a few arrangements first." I wiped away the last of the tears that had fallen and stood up. He didn't move. Just looked at me as if I was going to break down again. "I'm okay Jean. I promise I'll come to bed in just a few minutes. I have to make sure that the care giver's last pay check gets to him."

"It can't wait till morning?"

"I want to get this done." He took hold of my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before leaving me. I walked to my phone, that I have only used once since I bought it. I placed my hand on the receiver and went through different scenarios on how this call was going to go. I took in a deep breath in and released it before picking up the phone and dialed the first number. It rang a few times and I was about to hang up and try the second number when I heard the line pick up. Instantly I held my breath before I heard his voice.

"Mustang speaking." All be darned…he was actually home. I wasn't expecting this. I moved my mouth up and down without making a sound. I was freezing up. I haven't heard his voice in so long, I practically forgot what it sounded like. "Hello?" Just talk before he hangs up. Several moments went by with no one talking. I was surprised that I didn't hear a click. "What are you doing, calling here? It's dangerous." He didn't sound happy. My eyes widened as I held my breath. How did he know it was me? "Is everything alright?" What a question. The last thing anything is, is alright. Still not able to say a word to him, we both stayed there in silence. I should just hang up. My ears perked up when I heard him clear his throat. "I'm sorry for your lost." How did he-? "I've already set the last of your arrangements. Her care giver should be getting their last check. Was there anything else?" I couldn't believe it. I never told anyone that she was…

"Thank you." Was all I whispered weakly into the receiver before hanging it up. Leave it to him to find out the one thing I didn't want anyone to know. I guess I should be grateful. I wiped away the quick tears that had started to well up before they could escape. I walked away from the phone to join Jean. He had already stripped down to his boxers and was tucked in bed, waiting for me. For a man in a wheelchair, he could sure move fast.

"Come here." He stretched his arms out to me and I wanted nothing more than to jump into them. I lifted my pointed finger up asking for one moment. I grabbed a nightie from my dresser and quickly changed into it, facing away from him. When I turned back around, I caught him looking me up and down.

"Oh no. Don't even think about it." I said as I crawled into his arms.

"Well duh." He wrapped me up and brought me closer to his chest. I snuggled right in and took a deep breath, taking in his scent. With how little he smokes now, his cigarette smell is going away. It's still there, but just faintly. "I mean…I can think about it. Just can't do anything." I let out an exasperated chuckled. Leave it to him to get me to smile when all I want to do is cry. I felt the tears coming back and knew there was no point in fighting them. He started to pet my head and let me cry quietly, getting his chest wet. "If you don't mind me asking…what was her name?"

"Helen…" I sniffled out, trying to control my sorrow. Her name was the first one that popped into my mind when I was signing the lease to my rental. "Her name was Helena, and my father's name was Noah." My father was KIA when I was 10. I was never given the chance to meet him. When they brought his body home to be buried, it was like attending a stranger's funeral. I held my mother's hand as she wept through the whole thing, and then some.

"Tell me about her." He started to graze his fingers up and down my arm. The gestured had become rather calming for me. I began to go through my memories of her. The time when she first started to teach me how to cook and what disaster of a dish I had made. She still ate everything I made though. Not to mention all the times I would help her out with her garden. It was starting to become difficult to keep my eyes open and I was starting to slur my words with fatigued. "I love you." That was the last thing I heard him whisper before I drifted off into a dreamless night. ~


End file.
